ioculus | //TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000

Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))

"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE

THEATER I

[ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER II

[ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III

[ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER IV

[ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)

BONUS - THEATER V

[ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Threaded | Flat

Theater II

Kor....

[How embarrassing. Her and Kor are totally kissing on the big screen.

Oh my god, they were on the big screen! Instantly turning red here, dropping her jar of miso in the process of jumping to her feet.]

Kor! How do you-?! Everyone stop watching! You have to stop!

[Yep, she was too busy standing in front of the screen, facing the audience, and frantically waving her arms to get people to not look to actually see the bad stuff happening on screen. She was giving up precious miso time for this!]

THEATRE III

[It looks like this will be a fun movie, he's sure. Like the action one that he and his friends had planned on watching before...

...Well, before this. But he's already been told all about what's happened, about how it's going to be fixed, and if watching a movie and enjoying it is going to help then he's going to enjoy it as much as he can. YES.

So he has a bag of popcorn from the concession stand, a ticket stub marked 'III', and a nice comfy seat in the middle of the room.

...And then...

And then the movie actually begins.

Initially he's not sure what he's watching. Truth be told it was easy to make himself 'forget', if only for a moment, but now that it's in his face he can see it all clearly again. It's as if the movie isn't only making him remember, but even broadcasting it right before him, but that can't be right, can it? It can't be--

'TSUBURAYA-KUN!' 'MITSUHIKO-KUN!']

That's...

[He'd...he'd picked this one because the poster looked neat, and because the title seemed a little familiar, but he didn't think it would be like this. 'Invade the planet' always seemed so fine to watch when it was cartoons or movies at home, so why did...

His eyes are watering. But instead of getting up to leave, he folds up his popcorn bag's top, curling in his seat and doing his best to look away from the screen. Block out the cries and shouts that are looping, and let everyone else en...

Enjoy the...

~~...Why was it all on him, instead of someone stronger..?~~]

THEATRE IV [Outside]

[How interesting. Mitsuhiko seems to be standing in front of this theatre, and while the movie was certainly a curious success when it came to taking his mind off of the theatre next door (he'd honestly just moved into this one as soon as there was a way out of the first, that didn't involve rudely interrupting anyone)...

The boy clutches his popcorn bag, absolutely red faced. If anyone begins to approach to enter the theatre, they'll find themselves with him very adamantly attempting to convince them otherwise.]

Ahh--Excuse me! Y... You can't go in there! It's not a good movie to watch at all, really!

...Please, take my advice! [~~It is very hard to be demanding and polite all at once hmmm hmmm.~~]

Theater IV

[Here anyone can find a girl who is happily munching on buttery popcorn, totally yelling at the screen from time to time and cheering at all the explosive scenes. Yeah, ACTION! Sometimes popcorn is tossed into the air during her rather lively audience participation. Watch your eyes! She doesn't know what this place is, but it's got three gold stars from her!

Then she sees a scene where there's jam all over some girl's face. It looks like her face, but...that's impossible! Whether Nora notices or not, she's giggling at the scene, because...she can relate to that 1000%! ]

Theater V

[WHO IS WRESTLING THESE GROSS BDSM BOTS?!

Oh, that would be Nora!

All that popcorn she got everywhere? Well, now they want to "punish" her. Yeah, no, that's not happening! One robot is already on the ground in tatters, and she has one in a headlock!]

I'll give YOU a spanking! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!

Edited 2015-03-07 21:01 (UTC)

Theatre V

[Maribelle had certainly meant to attend My Petite Equestrian Experience. A delightful tale of horses could only please a young lady such as herself. Surely more so than anything regarding "questionable morals". But it seems she walked in through the wrong door and is here instead. It seems rude to storm out before anything "questionable" occurs, so she sits through it and finds herself surprisingly pleased! How noble and gallant, all those common folk banding together to bring good to the world! She's quite touched!

The fact that memories of her delightful Lissa's smile are spliced between these good deeds only serves to soften Maribelle's heart further.] Oh... My darling Lissa... [Smiling through her tears, Maribelle fumbles with her handkerchief as she tries to clean her face and accidentally drops it onto the floor,] How I do wish I could show you this, I'm sure you would find it quite uplifting...

[STOP. TEARFUL SLUT, WHO SAID YOU COULD CAUSE SUCH A SCENE?]

... I do beg your pardon?! Who do you think you are addressing, you- you tin bound troglodyte!

((ooc: Ivan's a mind reader and tends to intrude on peoples' thoughts on impulse. Let me know if you're not okay with this, and feel free to have his attempts be unsuccessful!))

IV

[Shortly into the first violent scene the movie has to offer, Ivan begins to wonder why he didn't choose to give that film about horses a try. Surely that couldn't have been so vulgar. Still, wanting to give it a chance and not waste the ticket he'd bought, Ivan endures with minimal cringing at the expletives and decapitations.

It starts to concern him less than the parts where he can see himself on screen, being taunted and humiliated by the townsfolk of Vault and misunderstood by the people of Kalay. Ivan chokes down a knot in his throat as he looks to the person sitting next to him. By the look on the person's face, it seems as if they're having a hard time swallowing the scene as well.]

It's not really as bad as it looks. [He tries for a smile. Part of him wants to know what the person is thinking about what they're seeing, but afraid of the thoughts he'd overhear, temporarily convinces himself that mind reading would be a bad idea.] You don't need to look so put out.

V

[This feature film is much more relaxing than the previous one. Ivan settles into his chair, relieved at the lack of embarrassing memories to endure. But while he's grateful to see some of the bittersweet reminders of a more simple time, Ivan doesn't have very long to appreciate the scene.

Not too far ahead of him, robots have swarmed one of the rows to corner one of the other movie-goers. He practically pales as he listens to them talk of flogging and call the poor victim some choice names. Part of him doesn't want to get involved, but he stands anyway, cradling his small bag of popcorn to his chest. The whole exchange seems way too violent to be natural, especially when, from where he was sitting, he hadn't been able to see any sort of nefarious action being committed.]

Is everything alright over there?

I.

[Out of all of the choices, this had seemed like the nicest and most wholesome option to enjoy with his daughter. Maybe it would help relieve some of the weirdness of being away from home.

...Then the killings happen and the grossness ensues.

He stands up in the middle of the theatre, shielding the view from his daughter while pointing at the screen.]

Objection! I object to... whatever's going on with this movie!

[Then a blank pause as he actually looks at the protagonist's face.]

Larry? How could you...

II

[Aside from the carcass-y part, this movie seemed like a better choice, if a heartrending one. ...But then he keeps seeing images of a younger him in a pink sweater dating a red-haired girl.]

N-no! How... How do they know?! [He looks around, as if nervously trying to see if anyone next to him noticed too.]

IV

[Phoenix isn't one for action movies, but he might as well try at least one? Just to see if it's less horrible. It's not so bad, but do they really have to curse this much?

But then he ends up quietly sweating bullets and lowering his head as he essentially beholds a slideshow of the many humiliations he's suffered over the years.]

Theater I - the NSFW option

[out of all the movies on the list, Hungary believes My Petite Equestrian Experience might be the easiest to sit through. she really wants to learn about this world for herself, and possibly make a few new allies. that was always a good idea, wasn't it? she was strong, but she didn't want to explore a strange space colony alone!

she takes a seat in the center of the theater, a bucket of popcorn in her lap because that is what you do when you go to the theaters in America, though she wishes she had some smoked paprika to sprinkle over it]

I haven't been to the movies in a while. [whoever you are, if you are sitting next to Hungary, she is going to try to make conversation with you, because she is friendly. it's amazing how everyone is speaking the same language here, isn't it?]

Theater III - the angsty option

[so she's kind of into The Retaliators. it's pretty funny! at least it's better than that monstrosity that was playing in the first theater. Hungary could not have gotten out of there fast enough. for some reason, though, that General Cerealia guy rubs her the wrong way!

this movie is going great so far, and she's been sharing her popcorn with the viewers around her. but suddenly, near the end, Hungary's whole posture changes. she is no longer laughing at any jokes. she doesn't seem relaxed.

was... was that Austria just now? and Poland? no, it couldn't be! but then there's her boss, and even that idiot Prussia. how did they get into this movie? and why are they being killed over and over again? Hungary crumples in her seat, grabbing her head in an effort to stop it from playing tricks on her]

Theater V - the silly option

[maybe going to the movies today was a bad idea. Hungary has had to walk out of two theaters already because of the things she saw on screen. it's obvious that the people running Cerealia want to mess with her, and whomever else was coming here to enjoy a nice relaxing day. is this what she has to expect now that she's here?

she wonder if she should brave one last movie. she is wary of the rating at first, but if that orgy film was rated A, then a Z rating must be the complete opposite, right? well, she better make her decision, because the movie's going to start in a few minutes.

stay here and try Yard-Door People, or give up for the day?]

Theater III

[Theaters were nothing he was particularly familiar with. Or rather, he was not familiar at all with it, considering he is usually living during the time in which people fought civil wars to unify Japan. He hadn't really spent attention what kind of movie he was into - and it wasn't particularly long until Senkimaru was a little bored with the agents and aliens.

Until the screen went on to show something else. Something that hit a little too closely home to reality.

Death, death... he had watched that kind of thing too much, too often, has sacrificed so many lives himself, has seen the people of his own clan, and now he could see the destruction of the people he is calling his friends, of the person he cherished a lot...

He moved his hands towards his head, clutching it firmly as if he could block out the images.]

[Movies are completely new to this dragon!

Zeno was still recovering from the shock of the light up show he witnessed before. The ones with the informational slides to it. It was weird but he was able to pay attention to it..all of it.

So when he finds himself in some theater, he completely believes it will be real actors on stage. Boy, was he wrong.]

THEATER I

[Picking one of the first movies he sits down only to see another bright screen this time with people on it. This place was really advanced!

As the movie starts it quickly goes down hill fast and he doesn't quite like the violence but then what follows makes him feel like he's in the wrong place. Face a shade red he begins to see a familiar face. Oh no.

Zeno is quick to stand, he needs to go. Are others seeing this?! His king and friends faces in the throes of pleasure!]

Excuse Zeno, he needs to go!

[He pushes past other people as he seems quick to get out. Nope, he doesn't want to see the dragons moaning like that, no thanks!]

THEATRE II

[The next movie might be better...nope.

Zeno sits uncomfortably in his seat as he watches people hurt. This is horrible, why would people want to see this? He looks around at the people in the area, wondering who was actually watching it. Then he flashes his eyes to the screen and sees familiar faces again.

Jumping up from his chair he seems a little panicked before he calms himself. Plastering a smile on his face he starts to exit. In the aisle he runs into someone.]

S-Sorry. [Quick to restate his words he grabs their shoulders lightly and twirls them around so they can't see the screen.] Let Zeno get you something to apologize!

[They wouldn't see the death this way, right? That's good.]

BONUS - THEATER V

[Finally a movie that isn't gore or sex!

Almost giddy, Zeno rests his arms on the back of the seat in front of him. Smiling he rests his head there watching the movie completely content.

They can do it! Make everyone happy. Too bad he isn't good about keeping quiet.]

Zeno believes in you!

[Cheering he starts to see little moments that are almost bitter sweet as he smiles and watches.]

Mn... [It's content sort of noise. Grabbing a hand full of candy he got from the front area. He drops a few pieces.]

Zeno will get it! [He laughs cheerful to the machine coming towards it...wow, it's coming pretty fast.]

Zeno has it...Eh? [Did it just...call him a slut?]

Ticket Booth

[Theaters were an odd thing with this one, not having stayed in one village large enough to have one for a long enough period of time to really understand the concept completely. So it was something of a treat for Haku as he looked at the movie posters, head tilted to the side and long deep brunette hair obscuring part of his face as he inspected them.

They all sounded rather interesting, though he was very pointedly avoiding the first and last of the movies for various reasons. The ponies one sounded like either something sickeningly adorable which was to much for even him and the last one sounded very... unsavory at the best. Another one best avoided.

Tapping his right hand's nails against his left inner arm he tried to debate the situation out in his head, lightly clicking his tongue just once in thought.]

Such a tough decision, maybe I could do both...?

THEATER I

[ A movie about cute ponies? Sign Pearl up!

But... then the ponies are murdered. Pearl sits, blinking for a long moment, her brain trying to comprehend what is now occurring. Why is everyone naked...? What about the ponies, don't they care...? Hey, what are they-- oh dear nope is that Mystic Maya oh no

With a shriek, Pearl flies from the theater, stumbling over people as she goes. Once free of that horror, she doubles over. ]

I thought this movie was supposed to be about ponies!

[ All she wanted was a movie about magic and friendship, was that too much to ask for. ]

THEATER V

[ Well, this is an improvement over whatever the heck became of the pony movie. Pearl is greatly enjoying the teary tenderness intermixed with happy memories.

Well, until she elbows her own popcorn off her lap and it falls everywhere. ]

Oh, no... [ She starts to clean it up herself when she is smacked in the shoulder and hears, "FILTHY CHILD WHORE. YOU WILL BE PUNISHED." come from the offending robot. ]

Wh--what? [ what the actual hell

Ten seconds later she's gotten into a fight with a robot, because wow rude much. It's probably not a fight she's winning, despite her skills in punching grown men. ]

Let's All Go To The Lobby

... We don't have those 'slushie' things back home. Could I get it in the biggest size you have? Thanks-- I'll also take those sugar-covered chocolate chips and the stretchy candy ropes and the chocolate dipped pretzels? Popcorn? No thanks. Oh, and could you make it two of everything?

[ You might be incredulously staring at this weirdo who's piling a giant slushie combined with several boxes of candy into his arm. He's even wearing lollipops on his shirt. Okay, fuck this guy. Fuck him and the candy-coated horse he rode in on. He might notice your stares of concern and possible disgust, so he's looking your way just now.

As always, his expression is deadpan and his eyebrow is only slightly raised. ]

What? They were out of the candy floss.

Why o' Clock

[ So being from a world that pre-dates movie theaters, he's not going to be very interested in the wonders of film beyond using it as a reason to eat candy for a couple of hours in the dark. When the cheesy film starts playing, he all but starts rolling his eyes at the cutesy Yard-door people and their various acts of good deeds. Just as he's starting to long for the antics of Dick Angry, he's shocked to see a vivid memory of the circus displayed prominently on screen.

He drops a sugar-coated Choco Candy Drop from his hands as he looks around, trying to see if anyone was seeing what he did. He was a private guy, okay! And letting people see his weird outing with the Prince of Ylisse? Well, it wouldn't end badly, but he still didn't want them to see it.

He'll lean over to whoever's next to him, and whisper quietly. ]

Are you seeing what I'm seeing? If so--... impressive ham juggling, isn't it? I gave that guy a tip when we were there. Chrom looked like he'd never seen anything like it before. Well, granted, he hadn't...

[ That story is cut short when a robot nails him in the knee with a wooden paddle, causing him to lose even more candy to the disgusting, sticky void that is the theater floor. ]

-- Cripes!

Edited 2015-03-07 23:29 (UTC)

theater ii

[Yona had been curious about these movies. They were unlike anything she'd ever seen before and at first, her eyes were completely glued to the screen, taking in the moving pictures with wonder and awe written all over her face. But she was also pulled into the heart-wrenching story, and it wasn't long before there were tears dotting the corners of her eyes.

That was when something flashed on the screen that... it couldn't possibly be there. That moment wasn't something that could have been written out - that moment was hers and it twisted at her heart painfully. Because for that moment, it wasn't all about woe and suffering. She remembered her happiness, and the wild beating of her heart when she was around that person. Soo-won...

The way she did everything... everything thinking of him...

And then those broken memories were gone and the painfully sad story was back, uninterrupted and-- his face was on every one of those bodies. Yona was forced to see it again and again. Shouldn't she want that? And yet, the sight sickens her, and more than the movie ever did, it made the tears flow down her cheeks.

She couldn't help it - she ran out. Blindly, really, hands covering her mouth and eyes filled with tears.]

theater v

[This movie leaves a happy, fluttery feeling in her stomach. It's everything she aspires to make real for the Kouka Kingdom. Maybe it's just her, but... it's almost like she can see the things they've done for their people in the movie itself. Or maybe it's just her emotions getting carried away with the fantastical view. She shakes her head to try and clear the image, but there's always another one shortly following.

However, she soon forgets all about the screen when she sees one of the robots go over to one of the other watchers and proceed to not only say terrible - and embarrassing - things. But it starts hitting them.]

Stop!

[She doesn't care if she's interrupting. She doesn't care if it hits her instead. She just can't bear to see this. Not over something as inconsequential as a piece of popcorn.]

[THEATRE I]

[Okay, so he got lost. He thought he was supposed to take a right when it was actually left. He walks in, and wow. Ponies. He's not impressed, and then it gets to the porn. He was not ready for that. Hot chicks he can handle, but this kinda porn was downright weird. Even he is cringing.

And what happens when every fanfic writer's dream who ships Yosuke with his partner is the scene dancing before his eyes.

And he starts screaming.]

WHAT THE HELL????? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME, WHO MAKES THIS CRAP? THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK! I'm going to puke! SICK! I'M NOT INTO DUDES, I SWEAR!

[THEATRE III]

[Okay, after that embarrassment he got right the hell outta there and snuck into a different theater without looking. This movie is alright, he can dig it.

That is, until the scenes of everyone he cares about start to flash on the screen, staring back in horror. It just makes him mad, upset, and he can even feel tears of anger flooding his eyes.]

Those assholes....I swear I'll make them pay...

[THEATRE IV]

[He can't take much of that last movie. Finally, he makes his way into another movie, sitting down and hoping that this would calm his nerves as he thinks of how he's going to take care of those jerks who killed everyone he cared about. It helps a little, and he can get into this movie.

But holy shit. Did someone else see that? He starts to cringe, what the hell is going on? He's had enough.]

What the hell is with this theater????!!!!!

Edited (NO ONE SAW THAT HTML FAIL) 2015-03-08 00:08 (UTC)

TICKET BOOTH
[So many movies, so many decisions. Shiho has her bag of popcorn and cold soda tucked up in her arms as she examines all the choices. She wasn't familiar with any of the ratings, but her eyes do settle on the Z Rating and that title. It would probably be too much to hope that it would be a serial killer thriller.

The fact that people were running red-faced out of My Petite Equestrian Experience did make it seem kind of appealing, too.......]

Hm...

[So she turns to the closest person with a smile,]

Hey, which one are you watching?

BONUS - THEATER V

[Shiho had picked this movie solely based on the rating and to say that she was disappointed was an understatement. She was never one for feel-good movies unless they were the kind that completely wrecked you by having your favourite character die at the end.

But then she sees herself at five years old, being embraced by an equally tiny Kaoru. The moment when Minamoto had reached out for her hand and told her "Let's just go."

So it was this kind of movie, huh. She should have guessed even as she saw memories, happy ones of first going to school, her first serial murder case, and she can't stop smiling. She'd get whoever was responsible for this, but right now...

The robots were kicking up a huge fuss.]

Hey! Can't you see we're trying to watch a movie, here?!

[She throws her soda at the nearest robot as it descends on its victim, causing it to turn.]

Oh.

Lobby

[Movie theaters are still something on the "new and fascinating" side of the spectrum for Yue, and so...he's found himself distracted by the snacks. Of course. If anyone else is wandering around the lobby, they might find him staring at the candy selection in a serious moment of indecision. Or chewing on popcorn later, as he watches people escape their respective movies.]

Theater ii

[Eventually he does go for a movie! A movie that is turning out to be....less amusing than he'd hoped. And yet (disturbing deaths and romantic(???) memories aside, this robot's quest is strangely fascinating.]

...I wonder if he'll ever find it.

II.

[This is what Kuzco stood in line for? Man, what a waste of time! He didn't really get what the big deal was or why he should've felt moved to tears about it. The young man groans, kicking his feet up on the chair in front of him and resting his hands behind his head.]

Lame! Only peasants could like something this overrated.

[What a bore. Or, it's a bore until he starts seeing images of himself, staring into ornate mirrors lined with gold. He sits up, smile on his face.]

Now, that's more like it! [Oh, he was so beautiful! He could look at that handsome mug all day and never get bored. And he'd always sort of wanted to be a star. King of the World was great and all, but the politics always made him yawn. Maybe he'd look into modeling tunics, or--wait--

The scenes stop being so picturesque when his face shows up on dead bodies floating downriver. He clutches his face and gives a wail of displeasure.]

Hey! [He practically whines.] No, nuh-uh, not cool! I don't like this movie thingy anymore! Someone turn it off!

[At this point, Kuzco's practically throwing a tantrum in his seat, his arms crossed and face flushed in a frustrated pout. Why do bad things always happen to good people? Whoever's responsible for this is totally gonna get fired for being treason. And then thrown out of a window.]

III.

[Having not gotten his way in the last film he attended, Kuzco makes himself at home in this one and expects it to be much more fitting to his personal standards. Maybe it won't be so bad. When he sees his home up on the big screen, he can care less about all the peasants and all his servants dying and crying and holding one another as they get blown to smithereens. They were, like, super gross anyway. Maybe if they were rich like him, they wouldn't have such a hard time staying alive!

That's when his room, his throne, his precious stuffed animal collection and meticulously hand-sculpted model of the would-be Kuzcotopia go up in flames. Kuzco gives a yell of frightened alarm and misery before becoming overpowered by his emotions. He bursts into tears without shame.]

No! Kuzcotopia! You were so young! You had so much promise!

[How could they take you away? He hadn't even gotten the chance to use the water slide! Not even once!]

theatre one i apologise

( well — if someone says horses, of course hungary is there. no question! she settles right in front with a snack and a drink, prepared to enjoy some quality horse movie adventures…

and then flash forward about half an hour.

this is… this is…!! she covers her mouth with both her hands, her eyes wide with horror at the sights before her. how crude! inappropriate! no — more than that, much more importantly than that… how… how… intense! yes, that is certainly romania's face she sees in there, ruining the entire movie… ohhh, is that france? she's going to kill him! she's going to kill all of them! switzerland is defiling her dear austria, and… well… admittedly, hmm, that's something to consider, but!! is this what they do when she's not around? of all the inappropriate…! is that ukraine?

she's shaking from what we'll call horrified rage, but the movie suddenly changes, as though the attendant realises just what he's doing wrong. suddenly she's seeing herself (clothed, thank goodness for everyone around her she'd have to kill otherwise)… and… prussia? when they were children? (before he turned into the world's worst person?) she lowers her hands in confusion, but the scene shifts just as quickly back to the original orgy.

her ire is raised again as she spots what is undoubtedly her ex-husband now doing unspeakable things with prussia. prussia! of all people! hungary stands up in a fury—!! )

This movie is historically inaccurate!

i. ANY OF THE MOVIES

[ it helps that everything here is so new and novel to a sword who's spent most of his life either on the battlefield or trying (and failing) to find peace in graves and shrines. the novelty is surprising and exciting enough that tsurumaru is able to put aside his misgivings about being yanked off the battlefield alone and masterless (again) to let himself be pleasantly surprised by All The Things, which means, hitting up every single movie.

it only takes after the first one to realize that these movies aren't just any movies, and that people are getting disgusted/angered/mesmerized/upset by them. truthfully, tsurumaru may also be a little bit upset -- that why would anyone dishonour the memory of his lord in that one not!ponies movie is beyond him -- but you know, it's more upsetting to see other people get upset. it's only natural that tsurumaru would do something about it.

therefore, if you happen to have the lovely seat beside or in front of him during any of these movies and you look in any way disturbed or upset, be aware that a shitty old man sword is going to draw a deep breath, lean over the chair and yell 'WAH' right into your ear. ]

ii. LOBBY

[ there's no poetic way to describe the maniacal laughter coming out of a white, kimono-clad sword who just happens to be riding on one of the theatre cleaning robots and zooming straight at you. ]

Watch out, coming through! Ahahahaha!

[ brb running everyone over. all these neat cleaning things are just so much fun. ]

Theater IV

[ "Decease Harder II" seemed like one of the only interesting movie titles that were showing right now. Except the movie made absolute no sense what-so-ever which lead to Gareki having a hard time following. He probably would have fallen asleep if it weren't for the constant explosions that happened every second.

He's trying his best to pay attention, absentmindedly eating his bucket of popcorn. Suddenly, the scenes on the movie begin to change. Was this part of the movie or is there something wrong with the film? Gareki blinks when the scene changes into something familiar. But before Gareki can recall it, it switches back to more landmine explosions and more action filled violence. This goes on for a few moments until it finally switches back to that previous scene. This time, it didn't take long for Gareki to recognize it.

He's left gaping as the bit of popcorn in his mouth drops back into the bucket. What the hell?! Why is that that playing on the big screen? It's showing that time when he had to dress up as Nyanperona in Yogi's place. The menacing look on the mascot's face practically matched his current one. He tries to calm himself down though. He's inside of the costume. Even if other people are witnessing this scene, they won't know who's in it-- Or not.

Just when he thought he was safe, it fast forwards to Gareki angrily ripping the costume off his body while threatening to kill a certain Circus combatant later. ]

Damn that stupid cat!

[ As soon as that scene ends, Gareki immediately stands up from his seat and hurls the popcorn at the screen. This either leads to the popcorn flying and some (or all??) of it landing on you. Maybe you ended up getting hit in the head with the bucket, too.

Either way, it's a total mess and the guy responsible is preparing to walk out without owning up to it. ]

in the lobby

( netherlands isn't watching a movie — at least, not currently. he isn't sure which he'd like to see; in his opinion the posters make them all look pretty unappealing; and he's not also not all that taken with the selection of snacks. so instead he's loitering against the wall, 6+ feet of surly looking around like he's waiting for something.

maybe it isn't what netherlands was waiting for initially, but here's what happens. someone drops a napkin, puts their soda down and doesn't pick it back up, or spills a kernel or two of popcorn while eating a handful on the way into one of the theatres. one of the offences you'd expect a robot to come after you for.

a peeved looking dutch guy comes after you first. )

Are you going to just leave it like that?

Edited 2015-03-08 01:21 (UTC)

THEATER I

[Most people would probably be upset when the plot of the movie takes such an... unexpected turn, and rightfully so. Nu, however, remains seemingly indifferent to the images on the screen─ apparently, both the gruesome deaths of ponies and the questionable celebrations that follow fail to make impression on her. It may be hard to tell by looking at the girl alone, but what she feels right now is... confusion, nothing more. She has done research on the movies, and the advertisement for this one promised something else entirely. It's not to say she's feeling outraged or embarrassed or lied to, but she does recognize there is some kind of a problem. A problem that requires solving, so she'll address the nearest person for assistance, speaking in her usual, somewhat robotic tone.]

The visual and sound contents of presented material do not match the description within this unit's database. Please explain.

[She's very serious about this, okay.]

THEATER II

[This one hits much closer to home. Of course, she cannot comprehend why that is the case─ Murakumo Units were never meant to have emotions in the first place─ but Nu can still feel her chest tighten in pain as the movie goes on. To make things worse, an image that doesn't even belong in here surfaces as well: it's a memory, a bit fuzzy, but one of the few she remembers from her long dreams. A boy, his back, and his warm hand...]

... Rag... na...

[A part of her understands it's pointless, but the girl can't help reaching out with her hand for the screen, desperate to touch the person she (and only she) can see there.]

[Theater V:

What a bizarre thing, you go ahead and tell her she's been kidnapped, brought to some wierdass virtual world because - supposedly mind you - aliens have blown up the planet? Come on, she wasn't born yesterday, even if the tech in this weird...wherever it is is pretty outrageous. Chalk it up to the weirdest dream she's had in a hell of a long time. Did she drink after getting back on her ship at Sabaody? Perona can't recall, but eh...may as well make the most of this weird dream.

Some of these movies look decent, if not a little peculiar. Sitting in her seat with a few snacks, and her top hat in her lap because someone opened their damn mouth, Perona begins to watch the movie. It's alright, if not entirely her cup of tea (she's more a horror/thriller/mystery/monster movie girl), and there are a few parts she smiles a little at. It's only when she begins to see herself in the scenes that she pays closer attention. The first time she met Bearsy, when she was just a little girl- playing with the big patchwork zombie bear...having tea and cakes brought to her by the Risky Brothers in the morning, and then...taking a nap or two with Mihawk by the fireplace at Kuraigana and not being pushed off, completing her teddy bear that looks like Bearsy...among other nice things.

Perona watches, leans forward like she can't really believe any of it. Can...c-can anyone else see this? Is it just her? She shifts a little, and in her haste, knocks over her popcorn so a few kernels fall to the floor. Oops, at least it wasn't the whole thing. She's wiping the salt off her gown right as a light flashes into her eyes and she's hauled out of her seat.]

Eeeh?! What the hell are you--?! [Is she getting arrested? Fuck that noise.] Do you know who you're messing wi--hieee?!

[SMACK. Right on her rear. Perona recoils, struggling against her captor while screeching profanities. Said captor seems to be guffawing, and telling her to use that dirty mouth for something else, readying his paddle again.] The fuck is wrong with you, you perverted piece of shit?! I'll blow you back to hell where you belong!

[Halp? Because Perona sure as hell has the abilities to indeed blow the bot sky high.]
---

[Theater I:

Well, after that embarrassing and, er...explosive first movie, Perona thinks she should calm her nerves (and thoughts, because this is a pretty intense dream) with a better one. And what better than a movie involving her favorite thing in the whole wide world? Cute animals! That adorable pony movie should have been the first one she went to! Eh, whatever, it's no big deal either way. She'll just say she saved the best for last, right?

So as she's sitting and watching the first ten minutes with her face in her hands, all smiles and giggles and coos at the cute little horses, her face drops when they're all suddenly...b-b-butchered. Slaughtered more like. A-And then--

Dear god.

She may be the ghost princess, but even Perona could put her hollows to shame with how pale she's become, though the color returns with a vengeance within seconds. How the hell can someone play something like this in public?! There should be laws against this kind off--WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT HER FACE A SECOND AGO??? Nearly choking, Perona leaps to her feet, mouth hanging open as she "familiarizes" herself with a certain master swordsman.

N o p e.

She covers her face and makes a break for the door, bulldozing over any man, woman, or creature in her path. There is no way in hell she is sticking around this damn place any longer. Anyone behind those theater doors, beware, they're going to be flung open with a vengeance, and Perona will be rocketing out. SHE WANTS TO GO HOME AND/OR WAKE UP RIGHT THIS SECOND.]

Theater II

her expression has gone progressively during this movie from curious, to feeling a little sad, to... having to think seconds thoughts about this carcass dragging and just as she is about to make her final judgment, she freezes as she sees the visual replaced by another, involving her and—

silent shock keeps her from making a sound even as her heart speeds up in dread that others, too, are seeing this. Do they all have to know about this? These strangers, when she isn't even sure any of her most trusted friends ever knew besides the other involved?

but blinking makes it disappear, and her panic as she breathes and tries to calm herself down at whatever was just there (maybe an illusion?) to staring wide-eyed at the robot continuing it's long journey of dragging carcass of supposedly precious persons. Here and there she thinks she hears or sees other flickers that are of her and of someone else (whether it happened or not, it really seems like some kind of wishful fantasy) only for them to stop abruptly with the sound effect of the body hitting the dirty lake and other bodies like it.

she isn't sure now if the feeling in her stomach twisting is from the supposed romantic scenes being viewed (is everyone else seeing it... no one else seems to be laughing or wondering why the screen visual keeps changing to something unrelated) or the one presented in the movie.

While the robot frolicking off desperately in search of a greater love, Yuuki's concerned disbelief only softens when she winces slightly at focus returning to the dead bodies left behind in their grave. A small and shortly lasting hum escapes her throat in despair upon recognizing the face. And she suddenly feels as if this is only a preview of the things to come if she remains. voice quiet and to herself, she continues to stare at the feed, feeling suddenly unsure if she is still witnessing what is still meant to be seen as a film, or an actual hallucination of a reality. It's a hallucination.

but the already weak call dies out, as things seem to wrap and push back into place to let the credits start rolling.

Theater IV

the solution to emotional distress for Yuuki is eating. And perhaps she is a machoist for daring to step into another theater and watch a movie after Large Adventurer 7 and any resulting awkward encounters she may have had leaving with anyone who noticed that (apparently??) she acting out of coordination with the audience, but here she is.

She's determined not to feel sorry for herself over her losses and failures, because that is exactly what these individuals that brought everyone here would want, right?

she's stronger than they are and watching another one of their heinous movies in defiance is probably as effectively defiant of CERES as she would like to display towards them.

But, anyway, as for the movie? it's a little over the top even though she honestly tried to put her game face on and be prepared for something outrageous. still, yuuki tries to make the best of this movie because at least the velociraptor and gore and vulgarity make more sense than the robot and his cheese and dead bodies with suddenly all the same faces—

—More coping activities need to be practiced, obviously. Which means she's gotten herself a bigger bag of popcorn and is shoving into her mouth rather intensely, as she watches the sene unfolding. her body tenses a little forward as buildings are exploded and explosion are exploded on to of that and then the velociraptor sure as hell better bite some heads off of the bad guys.

and as the action gets more intense, so does her popcorn shoving (only it slows in speed to make up for the larger handfuls to make sure she doesn't lose any to the ground. It's truly like one observing an avid sports fan a little too invested in the outcome of what is playing on screen.

AND SO MUCH TERROR AND CHAOS (the special effects are way better than anything she's seen) AND NO IS THE VELOCIORAPTOR INJURED?

WILL IT DIE...

'Nooo..." she whispers under her breath to herself in dismay as the dinosaur falls to the ground. This is it, this is where the faithful companion is lost because the script writers are soulless empty people. And just as the enemy is about to strike down on the dinosaur and Jak is seen in a split screen running to try and reach his best friend before its too late but he doesn't seem fast enough and THEN—

—the popcorn stops right short of being put into her mouth, blinking at the rather sudden change of... well, everything, she is looking at. And when she properly identifies (wait, she knows this visual area—)

Yuuki screeches and stands up in shock, losing her popcorn in the processi, her embarrassed words slipping from her mouth in the process.

speaking of that large popcorn, you may have just gotten knocked in the head with the bag in flight in all its and its passengers puff glory, missed getting hit with the bag but still rained a popcorn shower of some degree... or both.

What a waste.

Theatre II

[Okay. So. Kaoru has no idea what it means when they say the film is rated B, but Large Adventurer 7 sounded cool and kind of promising. More promising than everything else anyway. What could go wrong?

Except it's a tragedy and Kaoru doesn't like those much. You know what else she doesn't like? Her kiss with Minamoto being broadcasted on the big screen.

She freezes for two seconds, then she stands up, her face a bright red.]

W-what!? Stop the movie! [Thankfully she's past the age where she has such poor control over her powers that something like this would end up with things flying all over the place around her. But when she throws her drink at the screen, it sails at it at high speeds and goes right through the screen.

...okay, she may have put slightly (just slightly) more force behind it than she intended to, but can you blame her?]

W-who made this movie!?

Threaded | Flat

Page 2 of 4

Kohaku Hearts | Tales of Hearts

Mitsuhiko Tsuburaya | Detective Conan

Nora Valkyrie | RWBY