//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]
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no subject
[Starts to storm off!]
The hell with this movie! Hey, if you're coming, let's go!
[UUUUUGH THIS MOVIE.]
no subject
So the little chef's gonna toddle along behind him, yep.]
Alright - lead the way! It's your tastes we'll be relying on, after all.
[Don't walk too fast though okay, his legs are too short to keep up -]
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We're going to an action movie, dammit! If you're coming with, you better like blood and guts and explosions! [And he stomps his way right into theater IV!]
no subject
[Mr. super not homo -
But yes, the cook follows right along behind him!]
I do remember seeing dinosaurs and such in the advertisement for this one as well. It's like every twelve year old boy's dream.
no subject
Dude, it's also advertised as the most brutal film around here! It's got a rating I've never heard of either, so it's gotta be good!
[He's hoping. Clawing and grasping for straws here.]
no subject
What a way to clear your mind... You know, usually things with a rating of "D" are rather bad.
Such as D-list celebrities, or restaurants with a D in health.
Or a report card with nothing but straight D's.
But then again, if it's toted as the most brutal of them all, then it could have the makings of a cult classic.
[Let's go find a good seat, ya wiener. Not too close to the stereos on the sides, and not too far up front!]
no subject
[But what if it's not? What if it's just as bad as the last theater... it's an awful feeling that's been bugging him since he walked out of that theater.]
Come on short stuff, let's sit over here. [Walks over to a good seat in the center somewhere, where he plops down.]
Alright, let's see it. [Rubs his hands together please be good!]
no subject
Speaking of the movie, the fact that it begins with a series of explosions might spell something good for the both of them? Maybe??]
... One can only wonder what the budget was for this. If it was all CGI, it must be phenomenal!
And let's hope the story follows suit!
no subject
This is what I'm talking about! Good choice to go to a different movie, buddy. [And he gives him a thumbs up! But the smile on his face doesn't last long though, when a scene appears where two chicks are making fun of him behind his back at Junes....
His expression just drops. He knew it, it was too good to be true.]
no subject
Teruteru seems completely indifferent. In fact, while that scene plays out for his companion, he's going to make a completely different observation...]
... Ahh, I was wondering how a dinosaur would tie in with this movie.
But they do know that heating any egg to that temperature would hard boil it, don't they?
I hope they'll be satisfied with a large lunch instead of a raptor, since that's what would really happen!
no subject
How are you getting cooking references outta this? [Does he not see?]
no subject
W-well, you see, I'm the chef of a fancy, upscale restaurant... Everything can relate to cooking somehow!
But how is it so surprising to hear something about the culinary arts when there's a large egg on screen?
[He's even gesturing to it, as if it's blatantly right there.]
no subject
And lo and behold.
An egg.]
T-There is an egg! Am I seriously hallucinating...? [Wow he kinda feels like an ass now for being a jerk to Teruteru.] Uh, sorry man, I guess I was seeing things. Chef huh? Maybe you can give a few friends of mine cooking lessons.
no subject
[But hey, he's glad Yosuke's (apparently) okay?
And being asked to teach is a compliment in the little guy's eyes, so the movie's getting sort of ignored in favor of that. Oops.]
Aha... well, I can't promise how good of a teacher I am, despite my skills. But if you can't find a good meal, you and I could always chat!
And, ah - since we'll be sharing the next hour or so together, it's only right you know my name. It's Teruteru Hanamura.
I'm sure your name is as handsome as your face, right?
no subject
Well, of course! [Maybe this guy is alright he's got good taste!] Nice to meet you too, mine's Yosuke Hana- what?!
[Did he hear that right?]
You said Hanamura, didn't you? You're not from Tokyo are you?
no subject
A-ah - Tokyo? Why, yes, actually! In fact, I am!
Born and raised.
After all, I'm the chef of an upscale restaurant - where else would a place like that be located?
no subject
[BUT oh man someone else from the city! He brightens up, this is probably some of the better news he's gotten today so far.] Hey, sounds like both of us are from there! I thought it was kinda weird that we both had the same last name. I don't remember my parents telling me about having any cousins working in a restaurant. Are you related to...? [And he rambles off the names of his parents, aunts and uncles. A grandma and grandpa are in that list too.]
no subject
[... Whoa, goodness, that's a pretty long list. But for Yosuke's sake
and his own, he listens intently!!]... My my, who knew so many of us were in one place? Well... unfortunately, you see, I don't quite know much about my family... Aside from my immediate family and siblings, I mean.
[but aren't siblings part of the immediate family --]
Of course, there's no way I'd doubt such a possibility! After all, so many of us in one place?
That would be quite an overwhelming coincidence if there wasn't some relation...!
no subject
Alright cuz, guess we'll have to get to know each other over a nice steak dinner, whaddya say?
[And he bets Teruteru's food is edible! Unlike some other girls he knows...but he'll have to treat his new "cousin" to ice cream or something. Seems like a fair trade.]
no subject
[... It sounds fancy, but it's really just a gourmet stew.
If only he could consider this a date.]Of course, no matter what I cook, I hope you'll accompany me as I shop for ingredients.