//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]
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fistbump!
Hey, come on, I'm not a criminal anymore. I'm an upstanding citizen, now. [Princess Sophie's personal corporate slave in fact! It... wasn't much of a step up from being PANDRA's dogsbody, to be honest- wait a minute] And I'm not a lolicon either! Don't try to compare me to that old-
[He stopped, then suspiciously looked around as if expecting a certain someone to be summoned by his badmouthing (it had happened before, with painful results), before continuing in a low mutter;]
... that old pervert.
high-five!
Almost, until she sees him looking around. And there only needs to be a mention of an old pervert for her to know who he's talking about. She crosses her arms, immediately on the defensive. As if she'd be afraid of some old pervert-lolicon with a school uniform fetish. She'll badmouth him until he shows up.]
You'd better not be a lolicon, if you know what's good for you. You don't want to end up old and balding and with a middle school uniform fetish.
[Being Hyoubu is like being a disease, as far as Shiho is concerned.]
no subject
I don't think he's balding...
[But, who knew with him? Maybe he wore a toupée, or was using clever hypno? Andy's expression became somewhat weirded out as he imagined it, and then quietly purged it from memory. That was too creepy]
Er, I mean, don't worry. I can safely say, one hundred per cent, that middle schoolers aren't my type. At all.
[End of. But this topic of lolicons was making him sweat a little, if only because it rose the chance of summoning Hyoubu, so he quickly changed the subject]
Anyway, are you here alone? The others aren't with you?
no subject
But he does admit that Hyoubu is old. And has a middle school uniform fetish. (Although Shiho, as a newly-minted high school student, was now of the opinion that maybe that guy just had a weird school uniform fetish.)]
He's definitely balding.
[She doesn't know if Hyoubu really is, but if he wasn't she'd keep saying it until it came true. Never underestimate how petty an ESP user can be.
And since Hyoubu hadn't shown up yet with all the times they'd already called him a lolicon, she deemed it safe enough to move on to a new subject with a smile. Maybe he'd decided to go and play bingo like an actual eighty-something-year-old.]
I'm here by myself. You look like you're here by yourself too, huh. I thought you'd be more popular.
[Since he was in the anime and everything. Taking over their screen-time.]
no subject
[Taking over their screen-time he might be, but he wasn't as iconic as The Children (plus he couldn't pull off those cute uniforms to save his life...)! Alas, his popularity existed only on certain websites that shall not be named. No adoring fans here]
Ah, no, I'm not, really. [Wait, that made him sound like a loser] But I like going to the cinema by myself anyway, so... [Ahem!]
no subject
Shiho isn't sure which is funnier: the fact that he wasn't popular or the fact that he was going to the cinema all by himself.
She almost bursts out laughing but manages to rein it in.]
Hinomiya-san.........th-that's so funn-...I mean. Sad.
no subject
Yeah. Sad. [Andy stared at her dully, obviously put out] I can just see you brimming with sympathy. Thanks.