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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2015-03-07 10:20 am
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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000


Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))
"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I
[ 00:00 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II
[ 00:00 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III
[ 00:00 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV
[ 00:00 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V
[ why:o'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE
Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!


good_ideas: (blush || that's indecent!)

[personal profile] good_ideas 2015-03-08 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
K-Kaoru-chan!

[Shiho can't even stop her when Kaoru throws the drink....straight through the screen. She should have guessed.

What she didn't expect is that when she puts her hand on Kaoru's shoulder to stop her from using her popcorn as a projectile weapon, she gets hit with the image of Minamoto and Kaoru kissing on the big screen. Her face flushes red.]


Y-You kissed....You kissed Minamoto-san?!
queenofminiskirts: (embarrassed || not fair!)

[personal profile] queenofminiskirts 2015-03-08 06:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[She was pretty much broadcasting her thoughts at the point when Shiho puts her hand on her shoulder and she practically jumps.]

I-it's not what you think!

[WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?? She tries very hard to keep her thoughts to herself after. She wasn't trying to hide, not consciously, but this was--it was embarrassing and no one was supposed to find out.]
Edited 2015-03-08 18:07 (UTC)
good_ideas: (blush || that's indecent!)

[personal profile] good_ideas 2015-03-08 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[Shiho feels the block and takes her hand back, planting it firmly on the armrest instead.]

Th-Then what is it?!

[She needs the details, Kaoru! When? Where? Why? How? What???

It's not like anyone's watching the movie now that there's a great big hole through it.]
queenofminiskirts: (embarrassed || not fair!)

[personal profile] queenofminiskirts 2015-03-08 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[She didn't mean to throw it through it!

Well, okay, she kind of did. But she wasn't trying to ruin the movie for everyone...sort of. It's complicated!]


It was just a prank Feather played! [Wait. If Feather is them from the future, did that mean she played a prank on herself???]
good_ideas: (geez || when I figure this out...)

[personal profile] good_ideas 2015-03-08 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Feather? But Feather is all of us!

[Does that mean they were all playing a prank on Kaoru?!]

But...what kind of a prank is that? I mean, it's not even funny!
queenofminiskirts: ((16))

[personal profile] queenofminiskirts 2015-03-08 07:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[She's going to grab onto the chance to steer this conversation away from the kiss to complaining about Feather (themselves, really, but it didn't really feel like them, you know?).]

Right? It wasn't funny at all!
good_ideas: (blush || woah. he went and did it.)

[personal profile] good_ideas 2015-03-08 07:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[Shiho's not going to let you steer it away!]

But how was it?
queenofminiskirts: (embarrassed || looking away)

This is middle school Kaoru but the expression is accurate.

[personal profile] queenofminiskirts 2015-03-08 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[But whyyyyyyyyyy?

She flushes, then looks away. Because you are one of her best friends and, well. If she can't talk to you about it then who could she talk to about about it. She drops back into her seat.]



...it was an adult kiss. [She says it very quietly because this is so embarrassing.]
good_ideas: (oh god || Hang in there Minamoto!)

[personal profile] good_ideas 2015-03-08 09:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[Shiho opens her mouth.

And then closes her mouth as she realizes what this means.]


Oh my god.......Minamoto-san is going to go to jail!!

[They couldn't let anyone know about this?! Who else knew about this?!]
queenofminiskirts: (surprise || no way!)

[personal profile] queenofminiskirts 2015-03-08 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
That's why I couldn't tell anyone! He'd totally end up in the newspaper! He'd be front page news!

[The headline would read: Supervisor of Level 7 Espers Arrested for Being a Lolicon. Or something.]
good_ideas: (oh god || Hang in there Minamoto!)

[personal profile] good_ideas 2015-03-08 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
W-Who else knows?!

[They had to protect Kaoru! And Minamoto!]

Does anyone else know?

[Who would they have to kill to keep this a secret.]
queenofminiskirts: (surprise || no way!)

[personal profile] queenofminiskirts 2015-03-08 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[Please don't kill anyone, Shiho.]

No one else. It's just me, Minamoto and Feather.
good_ideas: (geez || when I figure this out...)

[personal profile] good_ideas 2015-03-09 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
[She won't promise that.]

At least Feather has disappeared, so we don't have to worry about her, but...

[She turns, noticing for the first time that there are other movie goers and that they all heard.]
queenofminiskirts: (neutral || how about no)

[personal profile] queenofminiskirts 2015-03-09 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, there's that. But if Feather was us, then she wouldn't have tried to get Minamoto arrested, right?

[What are you turning to--no. Shiho. No.]

Shiho.