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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2015-03-07 10:20 am
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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000


Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))
"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I
[ 00:00 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II
[ 00:00 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III
[ 00:00 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV
[ 00:00 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V
[ why:o'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE
Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!


punchesyu: (ok i'm over it fine it's fine)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-07 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[He had some traumatic experience at one of the other theaters, but it seems like everyone is sneaking into other theaters. Well, since everyone's doing it, he is too. He's quickly making his way down the aisle to find himself a seat, but he can't get around this stupid robot.

But wow he has never heard anyone be that blunt before to straight up call someone a slut. That's really going too far.]


What the hell's your problem? [He frowns right at the robot. That's a bunch of crap.]
troubadear: (On the verge of a nervous breakdown.)

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-07 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
This bronze, brazen brute is performing in an utterly reprehensible manner! [To which the robot responds:YOU LOVE IT, WHORE]

[Which causes Maribelle to (understandably) scream and smack the robot with her pink parasol.] How dare you, you wretched beast!
punchesyu: (WHOOPS U GOT CONTROLLED BY CREEPER)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-08 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
[Her dated language sure is throwing him off, but he knows what's not throwing him off, this robot.]

[He goes to smack the robot upside its metallic head, but that only results in his grabbing of his own hand.]

Ow! Damn, what are you made of? Shut up! That's not how you talk to a girl!
troubadear: (Objection!)

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-08 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
Don't you start! There's quite enough foul language here already! [Maribelle, no, he's defending you]

And you! [Points her parasol at the robot's head.] Get on your knees and beg for my forgiveness this instant! I shan't tolerate being insulted in such a degenerate manner!

[The BDSM robot is probably confused by the role switching idk]
punchesyu: (Bear...)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-08 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
Wait, wha? All I said was damn! [He watches on helplessly as she demands the...robot...to bow down to her? What kinda girl is she?]

You know, I got a feeling it's not going to listen to you...
troubadear: (Fall down a hole and bury me in it.)

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-08 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
[And indeed: IMPUDENT SLUT]

Curish ogre! [Smacks it with her parsol again.] Why I never!
punchesyu: (and this scene was sad)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-08 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
[Okay, he can't stand around and let this continue. That's just awful.]

I said cut it out!!!! [He straight up shoulders the bot as hard as he can to knock it right over on its stupid robot face.]
troubadear: (Someone is getting smacked TWICE.)

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-08 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
[And that works!! Yay, Yosuke, you saved the damsel! Damsel who takes that opportunity to stomp her boot down on whatever looks vaguely neckish on the robot.]

I assure you, I shall never be visiting this establish again! And I fully intend to file a formal complaint about your behaviour!
punchesyu: (no i wasn't trying to be mean!)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-08 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
[He definitely can't blame her for being mad. He'd be mad too.]

Woah, woah, don't break it, what if they charge you for damages?! That thing was really out of line but you gotta control your temper-!
troubadear: (Disgusted noise)

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-08 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
If they charge me? Young man, I assure you, if anyone is going to be pressing charges here it shall be myself!

[But at least the robot seems subdued enough that Maribelle can now storm past it.] Honestly, never in all my life have I been insulted so crudely by someone working in service.
punchesyu: (sassmaster)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-08 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
It's a robot! It was probably programmed to act like that! And wait what?

Young man? Woah, dude, just how old are you? [That comes out before he thinks twice about it.]
troubadear: (Just gonna kill everyone.)

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-08 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
That is hardly an excuse! [Especially since she doesn't know what a robot is.]

Asking a lady her age? It seems I am doomed to be surrounded by improper manners today. [She definitely looks like a teenager though. Eighteen.]
punchesyu: (dude that's not cool)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-08 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
You don't look like you're any older than me! [These prim and proper ones man]
troubadear: (Where were you on the 14th of April?)

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-08 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
I don't see how that is relevant. [Begins walking out of the theatre with her head held high. Shame she won't get to see the rest of the movie, but now she can't be seen in this place of business.]

If you simply must know, I am very nearly eighteen years old.
punchesyu: (this scene was gold)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-08 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
Seriously? [He runs to catch up with her. She's kinda cute and well...his age.]

I mean, same here! Hold up a second!
troubadear: (They can only see movement.)

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-08 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
[She is cute and his age!! Those are both things that are true!]

[Maribelle hesitates but then waits for him at the door.]
... I suppose I should thank you for coming to my aid.
punchesyu: (dude that's not cool)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-08 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
Dude, I wasn't going to let some creepy robot say that crap about you! [He wouldn't let that robot say that to anyone, rude rude]
troubadear: (Just gonna kill everyone.)

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-08 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Maribelle wrinkles her delicate little nose.] Darling, do try to watch your own language while rescuing damsels in distress. I don't like to tolerate foul language no matter who it comes from.
punchesyu: (you mean you don't believe me?)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-08 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
Ah- [Foul language?] Oh, you must be one of those classy types. I hear there's people from all sorts of different places around here. Sorry, I'll try to keep it clean.

[Since when is crap a foul word what the hell]

So uh, what's your name? I'm Yosuke, Yosuke Hanamura.
troubadear: (It's only natural.)

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-08 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
[don't say what the hell either]

A pleasure, I'm sure, Yosuke. My name is Maribelle, so nice to meet you.
punchesyu: (no i wasn't trying to be mean!)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-08 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, same! [What does he say to cute scary lady?]

So uh, Maribelle, are you really going to go to management about those stupid robots?
troubadear: (Darling.)

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-08 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
Of course! Such behaviour cannot be tolerated from the staff of any establishment, particularly by a lady of my breeding. I'm sure that once I make my concerns known they shall be dealt with immediately.

[Not an ounce of doubt in her voice. They will be dealt with or she will deal with them.]
punchesyu: (idk what to name this)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-08 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
[Wow that's actually kind of intimidating. Yikes.]

I mean, you get like I said before that those things were probably programmed to do that? I think you should yell at them for making the robots act like that, and totally get a refund and then some.

[He's not arguing though, who the hell makes robots call people sluts?]
troubadear: (Who is superior?)

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-08 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
It's not about the money, darling, it's about respect. If they truly have been giving their staff instructions to act in such a deplorable manner than I shall have to take the same course of action regardless.
punchesyu: (casual pose yo)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-08 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[He doesn't know why, but he's got a feeling Maribelle alone isn't going to be enough. Maybe he'd go with her just in case some of those creepy robots aren't around.]

Okay, well, let's go right now and take care of it. I'm sure they'll be more willing to listen if more than one person is banging on their door!

[In fact he's expecting that a lot of people have beat them to the punch, so they can just add to the growing list of unhappy patrons.]

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