//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]
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Huh? Into what? Wrestling? Beating down pervy robots? Dirty popcorn?
1/2
I was going to say robot spanking, but all of the above, really, if that's what you're —
[ And then something on-screen catches his attention and he looks up. It's Happy Memories Time TM and what he sees is a small child (himself) hugging a tall man with round spectacles. ]
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WHAT IS THIS MOVIE?
1/2
[Only someone with their mind in the gutter would think that sort of thing!]
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Awwwww! I want one! [Such a cute little doggie!]
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You —
[ He's a telepath, and so he could perhaps work out exactly what she means by trying to read her mind, but at the moment he actually doesn't want to know what she's thinking.
He points to the screen, at the small child smiling so, so happily. (Or, alternately, at the super-cute doggie). ]
That's me, you idiot. Who are you calling a pervert!
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Looks back at him.
Nora does this at least two more times.]
Are you really a toy poodle? You look a little...human.
[What is this guy on? Questionable Dust?]
1/2
Which is why he hurls his bag of popcorn to the floor. ]
I'm not a human! I'm —
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...toy poodle?
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[This is the important part of the conversation!]
Why are you wasting good popcorn?! Those pervbots are gonna come back! I'm not helping you fight them off!
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His temper is like a hydrogen flame, a quick whoosh and it's gone. He slides his (now unencumbered) hands into his pockets, tilts his head to one side, and looks at her. ]
"Good" popcorn.
[ He shrugs. He has no idea what "pervbots" have to do with spilled popcorn, and he's not going to worry about it. ]
Anyway, no. I'm not. You?
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[She rests a hand on her hip, giving him a judging stare.]
Definitely human, and definitely not a toy poodle! How about you?
[Gestures a thumb to the screen.]
Is this too traumatic for you?
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I'm an esper. And I —
YOU DIRTY, FILTHY SLUT! YOU LITTERING PIECE OF EXCREMENT!
[ He stares. There's a robot with a paddle. There are ten robots with paddles, all advancing. ]
TAKE DOWN YOUR TROUSERS AND BEND OVER, SCUM!
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[She doesn't even get to finish her question properly, as the robots close in on them. Enough is enough!]
Go!
[Pulls out Magnhild to its hammer form with a few twirls of her hands.]
AWAY!
[In one quick motion, Nora takes out seven of them, continuing the momentum of the rotation to hammer down one more. the force is enough to give the ground a good shake. Although she's frustrated with their intrusion, and rude name calling, Nora is definitely smiling.]
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[ He's visibly startled by both the robots and the appearance of the hammer, but after seeing seven robots go down in one swing, and the eighth get pulverized, he slides his hands into his pockets and seems content to watch.
The remaining two robots lower their paddles and exchange glances. And then they back away, clearly having remembered something else pressing that they need to do.
There's a little silence, and finally he says: ]
You know, they're going to send you a bill for those.
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Hmph! [Rests Magnhild on her shoulder.] They can send it my fist! They should be ashamed of themselves for having those pervbots running around!
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Shame is something in short supply in this city.
[ His eyes travel up to the hammer on her shoulder; and then they sweep down and up her body, finally settling on her face. Yes, it's sort of creepy. ]
That's an awfully big hammer, for a girl your size. And it looks unbalanced. How are you able to handle it?
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With my arms, and legs. And a lot of times all the muscles in my body. [She switches it back to its smaller sixpence so she can store it away on her back.] It's especially made, so it isn't unbalanced for me. Don't you have any weapons?
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I see.
No, I don't carry weapons, usually. Most people don't, to a night out at the theatre. Do you go everywhere armed?
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[At the question, Nora grins and shakes her head.] Nope! I pack these babies!
[Flexes her arms! They're like steel! Flesh covered steel!]
So I'm good to go!
no subject
So you do go everywhere "armed."
[ By this time, the long-suffering people actually trying to watch the movie are turning around and glaring at them, for making noise. Or perhaps they just don't like puns. ]
What's a "Grimm"?
no subject
Armed and dangerous!
[Oh, he doesn't know what a Grimm is. Hmm...]
They're basically evolved monster animals, to put it in easy terms. They're all one color, black, and not that hard to spot.
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[ Congratulations on pushing yet another of Hyoubu's (many) buttons. ]
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[Hey, the only Grimm she's ever taken down were the ones that messed with her!]
No one is even sure if they're really animals, or like...darkness. But they aren't friendly, that's for sure.
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...although the crazy is probably still leaking out a bit, like stuffing from the seams of an tattered plush toy. ]
I suppose I should thank you, then. For fighting the "pervbots" off, even after you said you wouldn't help me.
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1/2
2/3 (i lied_
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1/2
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