ioculus | //TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

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Mystery Science Theatre -3000

Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))

"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

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THEATER I

[ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER II

[ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III

[ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER IV

[ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)

BONUS - THEATER V

[ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

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Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Yona hadn't thought much about anything on her way out except I need to get out of here. And it was probably rude... no, it was definitely rude. And if she'd had someone with her, she probably wouldn't have had to run out. In front of her friends, she would have been able to put on a strong face- even lie about what was bothering her. But she had been by herself, knowing that she didn't know where anyone was. Not Hak, not Yoon, not any of the dragons... She felt so weak and alone, that when it came down to it, she'd just ran. Ran and ran and tried to get away from everything.

But she knew that it was just delaying the inevitable. She couldn't get those images out of her mind. And it wasn't just Soo-won - it could be any of her friends, and here she was, not knowing a way to reach any of them. It was so frustrating. She couldn't even stop the tears from falling from her eyes.

So she kept going.

That was... until she heard the familiar call of 'princess', that stopped her dead in her tracks, eyes widening. They were bright and shining with tears, but--]

...Ki-ja?

[There was no doubting it. That was Ki-ja.]

Ki-ja!!

[For a moment, she was able to forget all her worries. She wasn't alone here. She wanted to hug him, but that... felt too much like it would be burdening him with her feelings. Now that she knew she wasn't alone, she wanted to be strong. She didn't want to just rely on Ki-ja.]

O-oh this? Ahahaha... no, it's just... it was a really sad movie. I guess I'm really not any good with those kinds of images.

Edited 2015-03-10 00:59 (UTC)

[ Nothing before the movie or even when he arrived mattered as much as this one singular moment. At least, the person he was finally waiting for, that he had cried so many nights for, was finally here.

Though he wasn't happy about the thought that she too had been stuck here, he could find a sense of relief that she was safe. True, he didn't believe the rumors about their homeland being destroyed, but the constant nagging in the back of his mind tried to get him to believe the latter. Ki-Ja had suppressed it for the most part, keeping his thoughts solely on finding Yona again safe and sound-- and finally all of his prayers had come true.

So right here, right now, this dragon was going to do all he could to protect her. He never wanted to be separated from here again! ]

A movie? [ He blinks, obviously unsure about what the word meant. But if it made Yona cry then it must be really bad!! ]

Then I will track down this "movie" and show them what is means to mess with her highness!! This cannot be forgiven! [ He doesn't let go of her wrist just yet. Just for the security of his own self to know that she was here and that he could feel her.

Oh thank goodness, she was here! ]

[Even though finding Ki-ja had calmed her down, she was still a little shaken up from the images. His hand was comforting. As long as she could feel his hand on her wrist, they couldn't be separated.

But then without realizing it at all, Ki-ja broke through the tension and the worry. He was truly upset, talking as if he was going to beat up the image the same way he would an enemy. Suddenly it was impossible to keep a straight face and within seconds she was laughing. She tried to cover her mouth to stifle it but...]

Ki-ja, didn't they explain movies to you?

[Had he come here to investigate with no idea what he was getting himself into? Somehow that sounded like Ki-ja. This was just one of the reasons that no matter how bad her mood was, Ki-ja was one of the few who knew how to make her smile easily, even if he wasn't trying.]

...would you like to go see one with me?

[Definitely not that last one. But if it was with Ki-ja, she thought it might be nice to go see one of the others. It would be fun even!]

[ One minute she was crying, and then the next laughing? Goodness, your emotions really were all over the place! (Not that Ki-Ja's weren't always a roller coaster.)

Regardless, the sudden change of mood surprised the boy to the point where he begins to blink. Had he perhaps missed something important? Nothing he said was a laughing matter, and yet here she was doing the opposite of what he had expected.

Really, she truly was a unique character. ]

They did not, but now I wish that they would have! [ He's still tense with this subject. If he would have known what these "movies" are, he probably could have found Yona earlier and protected her!

But wait. ]

... Huh? [ Alright. Now he's really confused. ] But this "movie" had made you cry. Why would you want to see another one?

[If he'd understood movies themselves, he might have understood her easy mood changes a little better. But in this case, it might be fun.]

Hmm... how to explain it... it's like watching a story take place. Like a performance, but the images were captured... There are a lot of different kinds of movies. Some are sad, but others can be really happy or really sweet. I'm sure we can find one we'd both like.

[So please go see a movie with her!]

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everyone wants to wipe Yona's tears

wipes them all away!!

who needs a white knight when she has her white dragon ////

FLEXES

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