//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[manliestmaiden]

It... It is. [she leans in a little to talk softly] This is how going to a movie should be. Fun, not embarrassing.

[except what was that just now? something about that flash of a scene seemed vaguely familiar to her]

[niceguypose]

[He leans as well a bit and nods along.]

Yes... Now I understand! Now I can see why people like it so...

[But then he blinks as he notices something too; a flash of something familiar.]

Eh?

[manliestmaiden]

[maybe it was just their imagination........]

Did you see something strange just now?

[niceguypose]

I... I think that I did.

Did you?!

[manliestmaiden]

I saw... something... I think...

[Hungary braces herself for the next scene. but... what comes is something nice? a scene from the movie with a good memory spliced into it.

it's her wedding day]

[niceguypose]

Ah...

[He flushes warmly as he sees a pleasant memory of his own on the screen; him waking up in a hospital bed, but seeing a daffodil left at his bedside, illuminated by the sunlight.]

[manliestmaiden]

[the memory makes her blush, as well as bring tears to her eyes. Hungary was not expecting this at all! these were good memories, ones that she didn't mind seeing. by now she knows she is the only one seeing her memories, but they can at least watch the movie to the very end this way]

What a good story... Whoops! [when she moved her hand to wipe at her eyes, she accidentally nudged her candy on the floor]

[niceguypose]

[He's so engrossed in the movie that he barely registers her candy dropping. He just lightly smiles at that.]

It - it is okay. Such mistakes are made in youth... [He says as some of the popcorn misses his mouth, trickling dow to the floor.]

[manliestmaiden]

[perhaps she can find the box, but Hungary does not want to tear her eyes away from these touching scenes and memories. they are too beautiful. so she decides to look for her candy later, and instead, brings a hand to her chest when she feels moved.

but suddenly]

FILTHY CHILDREN. PICK UP YOUR *&$#ING TRASH, WHORES.

[uh. what. Hungary turns to look at whatever was making that noise. there, in the aisle, is some sort of robot, brandishing a wooden paddle by lightly slapping it against its hand. oh. and it's looking right at Hungary and Rock Lee]

[niceguypose]

[?!

Lee gives a sidelong glance towards the robot, feeling he must be mistake in some way.]

E-excuse me... What did you just say, sir?

[manliestmaiden]

I SAID, PICK UP YOUR TRASH, YOU *%$#&!

[ugh, just when she was really getting into the movie. Hungary snarls and stands up]

Don't talk to him like that!

SHUT UP, WHORE. HE LIKES IT, BECAUSE HE'S A FILTHY &$#@-MONGER, JUST LIKE YOU!

[scandalous! the mouth on that robot...]

[niceguypose]

[Rock Lee stands up too, his fists balled.]

Please!! Do not talk to a lady like that! I do not enjoy that at all!!

[manliestmaiden]

[the robot's head spins for a moment, beeping and processing their responses] SO YOU WANT TO DO THIS THE HARD WAY? I FIGURED AS MUCH. BOTH OF YOU, BEND OVER.

[Hungary's also making fists with her hands. how dare this robot speak to them like this, and right in the middle of a good movie] We will do no such thing! You are ruining this young man's movie experience!

[niceguypose]

The hard way?! I do not understand! My experience is unimportant, but you cannot be rude to this young lady!! [He stands his ground alongside her! But he's not sure what to do next- what is this robot up to?!]

[manliestmaiden]

[obviously they have to beat up this robot. Hungary looks like she's ready to do just that]

If we pick up our trash, will you leave us alone?

[the robot whirs and beeps some more] NEGATIVE. YOU MUST BE PUNISHED, BECAUSE YOU ARE DISGUSTING &%#$#. I REPEAT, BEND OVER. [and now it is on the attack with its paddle!]

[niceguypose]

S-such a foul-mouthed machine...! I'll take care of this!

[As the machine prepares to strike, Rock Lee decides to strike back! He kicks right at the paddling arm mid-strike to knock the arm back. But it works too well, as the robot's entire body moves back with the arm, and then the motion accelerates into the robot spinning around wildly as it encroaches upon them, paddle still in hand.]

[manliestmaiden]

[oh dear! the robot is out of control, spinning, running into the seats, strong enough to crush any seats in its way. this is pretty ridiculous.

agitated, Hungary pulls out a frying pan (from where?!) and moves in to attack the robot herself. she manages to get a few hits in, but that only makes the robot sputter and go into over drive. she jumps out of the way]

It's overheating!

[niceguypose]

[Rock Lee looks on in concern, while in a defensive position.]

Ack-! What should we do?

[manliestmaiden]

We should get everyone to safety! If the robot overheats, it could explode! [and they can't even get close to it, because it is spinning and waving that paddle around. it's dangerous!]

P-P-PICK! [bzzt!] PICK UP y-y-your TRASH! [bzzt] FIL-F-fil-THY @#&$-SUCKERRRR! [bzzt fizzle]

[niceguypose]

Er... [He turns around and shouts.]

Everyone, please! Clear the theatre! This mechanical creature is now a bomb! [Luckily, a good number of people manage to panic and flee at the word 'bomb'.]

[manliestmaiden]

[well... Hungary supposes that's one way to get people to run. she starts herding the screaming people out of the theater while the robot crashes into chair after chair]

Quickly, take cover! [and then to herself] This is the last thing that I expected to happen today... [she may never go to the movies again]

[niceguypose]

The unexpected is just one other flavor of youth!! Come, you take cover too! [He might try to pull her along towards whatever's closest to take cover behind.]

[manliestmaiden]

Oh, right! [yeah, she should probably do that. once everyone is out of the theater, Hungary follows Lee as they duck behind the last row of chairs. she is peeking out in between the seats at the robot.

since everyone left in a hurry, they spilled their food everywhere. and the spinning robot is not happy] SO MUCH TRASH SO MUCH TRASH SO MUCH TRASH FILTHY FILTHY F-F-F-FIL-THYYYYYY.

[it's spinning faster now, bolts popping off of its body and steam shooting out of the holes. suddenly it bursts, sending pieces flying in every direction]

[niceguypose]

S-so foul-mouthed! [As it bursts, he ducks down quickly to try to avoid the explosion. But the pieces are flying everywhere... part of the paddle manages to ricochet off of a nearby wall and then bounces over Lee's behind as he's crouched over.]

Ack!

[manliestmaiden]

[so, in the end, Lee was paddled anyway...]

A-are you okay?

[at least now the robot has stopped moving. with its dying breath, it curses the dirty theater-goers. and their mothers]