//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

Perona | One Piece

[hollower]

[Theater V:

What a bizarre thing, you go ahead and tell her she's been kidnapped, brought to some wierdass virtual world because - supposedly mind you - aliens have blown up the planet? Come on, she wasn't born yesterday, even if the tech in this weird...wherever it is is pretty outrageous. Chalk it up to the weirdest dream she's had in a hell of a long time. Did she drink after getting back on her ship at Sabaody? Perona can't recall, but eh...may as well make the most of this weird dream.

Some of these movies look decent, if not a little peculiar. Sitting in her seat with a few snacks, and her top hat in her lap because someone opened their damn mouth, Perona begins to watch the movie. It's alright, if not entirely her cup of tea (she's more a horror/thriller/mystery/monster movie girl), and there are a few parts she smiles a little at. It's only when she begins to see herself in the scenes that she pays closer attention. The first time she met Bearsy, when she was just a little girl- playing with the big patchwork zombie bear...having tea and cakes brought to her by the Risky Brothers in the morning, and then...taking a nap or two with Mihawk by the fireplace at Kuraigana and not being pushed off, completing her teddy bear that looks like Bearsy...among other nice things.

Perona watches, leans forward like she can't really believe any of it. Can...c-can anyone else see this? Is it just her? She shifts a little, and in her haste, knocks over her popcorn so a few kernels fall to the floor. Oops, at least it wasn't the whole thing. She's wiping the salt off her gown right as a light flashes into her eyes and she's hauled out of her seat.]

Eeeh?! What the hell are you--?! [Is she getting arrested? Fuck that noise.] Do you know who you're messing wi--hieee?!

[SMACK. Right on her rear. Perona recoils, struggling against her captor while screeching profanities. Said captor seems to be guffawing, and telling her to use that dirty mouth for something else, readying his paddle again.] The fuck is wrong with you, you perverted piece of shit?! I'll blow you back to hell where you belong!

[Halp? Because Perona sure as hell has the abilities to indeed blow the bot sky high.]
---

[Theater I:

Well, after that embarrassing and, er...explosive first movie, Perona thinks she should calm her nerves (and thoughts, because this is a pretty intense dream) with a better one. And what better than a movie involving her favorite thing in the whole wide world? Cute animals! That adorable pony movie should have been the first one she went to! Eh, whatever, it's no big deal either way. She'll just say she saved the best for last, right?

So as she's sitting and watching the first ten minutes with her face in her hands, all smiles and giggles and coos at the cute little horses, her face drops when they're all suddenly...b-b-butchered. Slaughtered more like. A-And then--

Dear god.

She may be the ghost princess, but even Perona could put her hollows to shame with how pale she's become, though the color returns with a vengeance within seconds. How the hell can someone play something like this in public?! There should be laws against this kind off--WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT HER FACE A SECOND AGO??? Nearly choking, Perona leaps to her feet, mouth hanging open as she "familiarizes" herself with a certain master swordsman.

N o p e.

She covers her face and makes a break for the door, bulldozing over any man, woman, or creature in her path. There is no way in hell she is sticking around this damn place any longer. Anyone behind those theater doors, beware, they're going to be flung open with a vengeance, and Perona will be rocketing out. SHE WANTS TO GO HOME AND/OR WAKE UP RIGHT THIS SECOND.]

V

[niceguypose]

[Rock Lee sure hears some kind of commotion coming from elsewhere in the theater. He was very touched by this film, which felt so connected to his youth! But he can't ignore what sounds like someone else in trouble, so he rushes over to check it out.

And he sees... a pink-haired girl being held by a robot?]

Ah... Is something the matter?

V

[hollower]

[Held over his knee, while Perona kicks and flails. She could easily remove her spirit from her bod, but god only knows what his perverted jerk would do once she stopped fighting back. Besides, she's not about to let her body get battered any more. She goes to great lengths to keep it looking good, okay!

Perona's head snaps to her (hopeful) rescuer and the cry for help turns into a squeak of pain again as she's smacked on the rump for a second time, tears budding in the corners of her eyes. Damn if that doesn't sting. What the hell kind of person does such a thing to a lady?! It's also extremely distracting - not to mention humiliating, she's in public - enough so that she can't concentrate on conjuring her mini hollows to blow this jackass up.]

Don't just stand there like an idiot! Do something!! Aieeek--! [Strike three. Don't worry, Lee, the robot assures you she's enjoying this.]

[niceguypose]

[This is definitely... an unusual and unexpected sight. It's definitely unlike any kind of sparring he's ever seen before. Strikes to the rear are supposed to be shameful, aren't they? Especially against a lady. Lee's cheeks flush slightly as he tries to figure out what's going on.

She doesn't look like she's enjoying it, but the machine says that she is. He doesn't know what to believe, but he hesitantly slides into a fighting stance.]

'So-something'... Do you wish for me to take on your opponent for you?! Er, is that robot telling the truth?

[hollower]

WHO THE HELL IS TELLING THE TRU--WEEEH! [That is the fourth time she's been hit, and Perona's grinding her teeth together, her own cheeks pink from embarrassment. This is humiliating enough to have someone watching, let alone having to ask for help. But she's not sure how well her negative hollows will work against a machine - they don't have actual emotions to mess with, even though this one in particular looks pretty pleased.]

Just make it stop! Please! It hurts! [Physically and does some damage to her pride, too.]

[niceguypose]

[Rock Lee gasps at the next strike. But from her words, it's becoming quite clear what she actually wants.]

D-don't worry... I will help you! [And then he rushes forward, with speedy and powerful moves. He first makes a move to sweep the robot off its feet and then tries to slam it back with a punch.]

Please release this lady!

[hollower]

[The robot may get just a "don't start anything, you bushy-eyed brat", waving his paddle in Lee's direction, but after that? There's really not much of a fight. The bloke wobbles on his mechanized legs before crashing backwards into a row of empty seats with Perona on top of him.

Who is just seconds away from getting a face full of youthful fury. THROWING HER HANDS UP IN FRONT OF HER FACE.]

WEEEEHH! DON'T HIT ME, DON'T HIT ME!!

[niceguypose]

[Luckily, the loud voice manages to help him to realize what he's doing, and he halts his fist almost at the last second.]

I... I am very sorry, I did not mean to strike you! [He'll just... slowly reel his fist back.] Your attacker... is he defeated?!

[hollower]

[THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST DAY. Perona's face goes white and she nearly passes out, clutching her hands over her chest, teetering slowly in place. Ah...ahaha...fuck this place, she's ready to wake up or go home, plsnthnx.

That is until the robot seems to answer Lee's question for him, stirring from under Perona and groping for his paddle while muttering about messes and little boys needing a good spanking. That's Perona's cue to leap off and take refuge behind Lee. Make yourself useful as a meat shield, boy.]

HIT IT AGAIN!

I...

[yaayaa]

[Nakigitsune had just been about to enter the theater (He'd picked one at random and hey, horses sounded nice enough) but...well. He didn't expect a frilly rocket to come bursting out the door. There's a bang! A crash! He doesn't actually fall over but he sure does back up.

Was the movie really that bad?]

I...

[hollower]

[The frilly goth girl makes it at least a good three yards before her legs give out, or the stores of her adrenaline deplete, and she flops onto her knees, breathing hard. God, that was a mistake and she covers her mouth to halt the sickness rising up in her throat. Ugh, the last thing she needs is to be sick here--!

Though it doesn't help she can still hear the voices from inside the theater, until the door swings shut, crying out names and begs for more. Mingled therein, of course, is her own. and Peron grinds her teeth together before her hands move to cover her ears.] Shut up!! Shut up, shut up, shut up!

[yaayaa]

[Yeah, once he got over the surprise girl, the sounds from inside the theater were kinda hard to miss....though having had zero experience with that sort of thing, this guy isn't entirely sure how to feel about it.

What he does know is that this girl is definitely not appreciating it, so trying to make that door close a little faster sounds like a pretty good idea. Followed by...approaching the girl. Yes.]

.....Um.

[That's not how you address a damsel in distress.]

OMG I'M SO SORRY THIS GOT LOST WHEN MY LAPTOP RESTARTED FOR UPDATES ;A;

[hollower]

[Oh god bless, the sounds have stopped. That's at least one saving grace, and Perona can breathe a little easier now, though it's not like the sounds and images haven't ingrained themselves like putrid little seeds inside her subconscious. It's probably the reason why she reacts so poorly when approached, caught up in trying to dispel the memory of what she just witnessed.

She jumps at the voice, pale and breathless (and maybe a little green, even) when she finally looks over her shoulder. Oh, ugh, she must be causing such a scene, but who in their right mind would produce and publicize something like that?! Shouldn't these films go through a censorship process?!]

Ah...wh-wha--? [Nailed it.]

it's okay...!!

[yaayaa]

[A reply as wordy as his greeting? He can...work with that. Maybe.

If by "working with that" we mean standing there and looking awkward.]

Are...you okay?

[He already misses having somebody to talk for him.]

;u; thanks <3 i hate it when it forces a shutdown like that.

[hollower]

[Ugh just...give her a minute her. Another minute. Maybe two. Perona scrubs at her face a little, trying to focus some clarity into her head and sound into her mouth. Okay? How in the hell would she be okay after witnessing that?! To top it all off, it looked like she was enjoying the things that were going on with her in that shitty hallucination.]

Yes. [No.] ...I'll be fine. I-I-I was n-not...expecting...th-that.

the terror of computer updates...

[yaayaa]

[Well, at least her movie self is okay? Not that anyone's thinking that, of course not. The mention of that makes him glance curiously back at the door though. Was it something scary? Something gross? Both?? Ah, but he probably shouldn't just leave her to check. But curious...but.....

.....Squatting down near her.]

I can get you some water? If that will help.

the worst is when it gives you a 10 minute warning and you're in the middle of a tag.

[hollower]

[In most other instances, Perona would tell this guy to piss off, she doesn't need help - she's a big girl and a lot tougher than a lot of people might think - but this is different. She was already shaken up pretty bad from getting assaulted by perverted robot and his goddamn paddle, this just topped the shitcake of a day she was having. At this point, she just wants to go home and sleep forever after eating a whole roll of cookie dough.]

P-Please... [She might pass out.]

v - extremely late...

[kishido]

[ sanji's been enjoying the movie for the most part... especially the particularly touching scenes from his past. his emotional and touching good bye to the bara- wait no, scratch that. seeing nami naked in the alabasta baths. seeing nami naked when they were body swapped. seeing nami naked any other time he's been able to. just seeing nami naked in general. ah, the memories.

okay, sanji was enjoying that at first, but he's actually been passed out for a while now after a comical and exaggerated bloody nose. it's a wonder the robots haven't come after him for gushing blood on the floor, but apparently they're willing to let that slide.

thankfully, nothing is able to rouse him from his half delirious slumber like the sound of a woman in distress. he's actually moving before he's finally comprehended the situation, since this is pretty much a reflex for him. ]

Oi, you shitty robot. Can't you see the lady's not into that sort of play? [ ...actually, it's a little too dark to make out, but doesn't something seem slightly familiar about that girl? oh well, probably just his imagination. ]

v - /PTERODACTYL SCREECH

[hollower]

[As if being assaulted wasn't bad enough, being assaulted like this in a crowd of people is making it difficult to concentrate on using her powers. That, and Perona is pretty sure her Negative Hollow won't have much of an effect on this hunk of junk. She does her best to kick and squirm, but her strength doesn't lie in her physical abilities - it never has. Blowing the joker up is the best option but her hands are bound behind her, and she couldn't activate the shockwave...let alone call forth a small or large hollow.

Just as she was in the middle of another long string of curses and threats, she and the robot (who has been inciting more and more creative terminology and more violent death threats with each perverse sentence he spews) turn their gazes toward...this guy. Who the hell is this, why does that voice sound so famil--






...Oh my god, it's the guy who sniffed her like a dog no less then a few hours ago back on Sabaody.]

[kishido]

[ thankfully his resistance to being in the presence of women has increased since their unfortunate encounter at sabaody... but only slightly. either way, it's a good thing the lights in the theater are still a little too dim for him to really get a good look at her (though sadly, he can still tell there's a familiar scent lingering in the air..........) ]

You just won't stop, will you? There's only one way to deal with guys like you.

[ and like that, he raises a leg for a kick...

before stopping, just sort of watching the... spanking... look, he knows he should put a stop to this, but it can't hurt for him to just watch for a second, right? just a second.

and another second.

maybe a third second?

mO_Om ]

[hollower]

[Well, in all honesty, the robot had paused - paddle hovering over the young woman's backside - when Sanji came a calling, but after those few seconds of...nothing, he just cocks his head to one side and rears back the paddle and brings it down hard again, ushering out a pained yelp from the victim.

"Looks like you're putting on your own show... Why don't you smile for the audience, you little slut?"

And that is the absolute last straw. Perona's patience snaps like a twig and she begins to thrash wildly, tears of pain and humiliation and rage running down her face. Fuck this place and fuck this guy. Fuck their whole crew. She'll have no sympathy or thanks for him even if he does end up helping her at this point.]

YOU DAMN BASTARD!! [She chokes out a sob.] IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO STAND THERE, THEN FUCK OFF! I DON'T NEED THE HELP FROM A LECHEROUS PARASITE LIKE YOU!

[kishido]

[ okay, okay, that at least finally snaps him back into action. without another second's hesitation he lets rip a kick, sending the robot flying into a nearby wall. it really is too little too late at this point, but at least the spanking will be put on hold for now...

q_q ]

Sorry, sorry. [ sanji's at least finally regained his bearings (sort of), enough to feel sincerely bad about not helping her right away. ] Don't misunderstand, I wasn't standing around because I was enjoying watching or something. [ no one said to begin with, sanji... ]

I just had a little trouble seeing in the dark. [ frown. ] Tsk, if the lights had been on, I would've gotten a better view...

[hollower]

[With a squeak, Perona falls out of the robot's arms and onto the ground. The force of that kick was immense - the crater the robot created in the opposite wall is none to small either, mind you - what the hell kind of person is this idiot?! Ugh, whatever! She doesn't have time for this shit anymore, Perona is leaving the first opportunity she can get. There's no way she's toting around another of the Straw Hat crew.

Picking herself up, Perona glowers at her "hero" and snatches his tie in one hand, yanking his face down to meet hers. It may still be dark, but he should at least get a good look at some of her very distinguishable facial features.]

A better view of what exactly?

[Her hollow ghosts can't effect metal men, but flesh and blood humans are prime targets, and she's in just the right mood to drag someone down to their lowest level. In fact, two of her ghosts appear over her shoulder to flank her like attack dogs. She'll probably have them with her at all times from here on out.]

[kishido]

[ pulling this guy closer to you might not exactly be the best of ideas, perona. he doesn't seem particularly threatened or upset by the gesture... in fact, he seems to be ignoring her question entirely, instead completely engrossed in something else entirely.

sniff. sniff. ]

This scent... I remember it! [ or you could just look at her face, sanji. ] Ah, you're that girl from Thriller Bark! What an unexpected place to run into you again... this must be fate!

[ does he notice the negative hollow ghosts? who knows, if he does he really doesn't seem to care at all. look, there are clearly more important things to focus on right now... namely her. ]

[hollower]

[Wrong answer.

Perona nearly snarls when he goes about sniffing her again. That, and maybe break down into frustrated tears again. She is in no mood for this shit anymore, and being treated like nothing more than a piece to ogle and abuse...she is done. Her opinion of the Straw Hats was never good to begin with, but the meager points they had are plummeting well into the negatives now.]

...You pig. You're not better than that filthy robot. [She shoves him backwards and beckons for her ghosts to attack, which they do without question, sweeping through his chest with ease. Perona doesn't stick around for the show like she usually does, though, she's already headed for the exit.] Thank you for you help, now fuck off and don't follow me.

[Because if this is "fate", then she wants no part of it.]