//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

Hungary | Hetalia

[manliestmaiden]

Theater I - the NSFW option

[out of all the movies on the list, Hungary believes My Petite Equestrian Experience might be the easiest to sit through. she really wants to learn about this world for herself, and possibly make a few new allies. that was always a good idea, wasn't it? she was strong, but she didn't want to explore a strange space colony alone!

she takes a seat in the center of the theater, a bucket of popcorn in her lap because that is what you do when you go to the theaters in America, though she wishes she had some smoked paprika to sprinkle over it]

I haven't been to the movies in a while. [whoever you are, if you are sitting next to Hungary, she is going to try to make conversation with you, because she is friendly. it's amazing how everyone is speaking the same language here, isn't it?]

Theater III - the angsty option

[so she's kind of into The Retaliators. it's pretty funny! at least it's better than that monstrosity that was playing in the first theater. Hungary could not have gotten out of there fast enough. for some reason, though, that General Cerealia guy rubs her the wrong way!

this movie is going great so far, and she's been sharing her popcorn with the viewers around her. but suddenly, near the end, Hungary's whole posture changes. she is no longer laughing at any jokes. she doesn't seem relaxed.

was... was that Austria just now? and Poland? no, it couldn't be! but then there's her boss, and even that idiot Prussia. how did they get into this movie? and why are they being killed over and over again? Hungary crumples in her seat, grabbing her head in an effort to stop it from playing tricks on her]

Theater V - the silly option

[maybe going to the movies today was a bad idea. Hungary has had to walk out of two theaters already because of the things she saw on screen. it's obvious that the people running Cerealia want to mess with her, and whomever else was coming here to enjoy a nice relaxing day. is this what she has to expect now that she's here?

she wonder if she should brave one last movie. she is wary of the rating at first, but if that orgy film was rated A, then a Z rating must be the complete opposite, right? well, she better make her decision, because the movie's going to start in a few minutes.

stay here and try Yard-Door People, or give up for the day?]

I.. I had to. Theater III

[broken_tool]

[This whole moving thing was kind of a foreign concept for Haku, not having such time for nonsense like this back home. You know, if he hadn't been dead to begin with, but that was beside the point at the moment.

He'd expected some cheesy actiony kind of flick by the name and it starts off simply enough just how he expected, but it's not until he starts seeing flashing images that he pauses in eating the popcorn, hand at his mouth.

Was that... No, no that couldn't be a replay of Zabuza's death from what he was told, was it? He hadn't seen it, obviously, but it couldn't be like that. And then seeing Naruto mowed down like that and his teammates on top of that, no, that couldn't be true.

Ducking his head between his legs he takes big breaths to calm his nerves, dropping the popcorn to cover his ears for the time being.

Maybe if he wills it hard enough this will go away, though the thought of leaving hasn't quite crossed the teen's mind yet.]

good

[manliestmaiden]

[through the haze, Hungary can hear the people around her. it seems that they are just as torn up as she is. but why? do they know Austria and Prussia, or her boss? are they her citizens?

she forces herself to sit up and look around her. Hungary was no delicate flower, but seeing people she cared about die over and over again was taking its toll on her. it even seemed like the same scenes were playing over again, just to mess with her!

she turns to the boy next to her and trying not to look at the screen. Hungary gently places a hand on his back] Hey! Are you all right?

[broken_tool]

[He wouldn't speak properly of what was going on the screen, knowing full well that watching those scenes play over and over again wasn't going to do him any real good. The scene of his mentor being stabbed to death, the scenes of his parents being killed via ice shards time and time again. It just reminded him of how much of a burden on people he truly was.

The feeling of a hand on his back causes him to start, immediately reaching out to try and grab her hand if he can, grip tight but not tight enough to warrant a threat. Just enough to signify that he wasn't someone that cared to be touched out of the blue. But it isn't until he hears her words that he lets go immediately, slowly raising up and turning away from the screen, taking a deep breath to settle his nerves.]

How can they do this...? [His voice remains soft and calm, though there is an obvious faltering undertone to it. Someone trying to hold their emotions close to the chest.]

[manliestmaiden]

[Hungary's wrist is caught. she is not upset about it, though. she should have known better than to touch a stranger, especially when they were in such pain.

when the boy stands, Hungary gets up to follow him out. it looks like a lot of other people are leaving, too, all with similarly horrified faces. did they see the same things she saw? or something different?]

They? [she glances back at the screen once more just in time to see Austria's face before he's zapped by some gun. okay, not looking at the screen again]

[broken_tool]

[He's not generally someone that says too much when it comes to these sorts of things, but the fact he's followed says more to him than it probably would to someone else. That this person actually seems to care about why he was in such a state, it's enough to get more than just basic facts out of him.

Once outside does he straighten up, tugging at the sash of his top for a moment or tow, just fiddling with it.]

Whoever created that... that monstrosity. I did not need to be reminded of my past misdeeds. [At least that's what he makes of it, even if two of them were self-defense and one was unavoidable when it came to emotions. But it still felt the same to him regardless.]

[manliestmaiden]

[oh, right. the creators of the movie]

That's what you saw on the screen? [Hungary takes a good look at the boy. she doesn't remember seeing him in any of the scenes that they were watching] I saw something completely different...

I

[spes_phthisica]

[Souji really doesn't mind having someone friendly to talk to next to him at all, being a rather social creature and no doubt prone to otherwise pestering some other stranger himself. Instead he beams back at her remark, eyes nonetheless returning in eager anticipation to the screen.]

I haven't gone to any at all before, actually! I'm really eager to see what it's like. [He himself has managed to secure a borderline ridiculous amount of candy, and is nibbling experimentally on a piece of chocolate.] The description sounded really cute, too!

eeee soujiiiii

[manliestmaiden]

[yay! another friendly person! Hungary looks at him with a bit of surprise]

You've never been to a movie before? Ever?

It's an adorable badass combo \o/

[spes_phthisica]

[Souji shakes his head emphatically, eyes widening as images start to flicker on the screen.]

There is nothing like this where I'm from. I have seen photographs, of course, but images that move? It's really exciting!

yes! \o/

[manliestmaiden]

[hmmm... maybe this man is from the past! how interesting! and he's super cute, too. Hungary thinks he might look good in a dress.

ah, but where are her manners? she just met the man]

Movies are a popular part of culture in today's world... Well, at least where I'm from. There are always new ones coming out.

[spes_phthisica]

[The past indeed, and enough of a different culture that he would not really have any objections to a dress, because what is western clothing customs anyway? But today is not for dressup, today is for ponies! Who is letting Poland write this meta text?]

Something that is like a picture and a play at the same time... I can imagine it really must be popular. Especially when they sell candy at the same time. [No seriously, it's anyone's guess how he'll get out of his chair without a candy landslide later, unless he manages to eat it all.] I've never had candy like this before either.

[manliestmaiden]

[there's nothing wrong with ponies. Hungary is here for the horse adventure, let's be real]

It was really popular in America to buy junk food at the movies, and then it kind of became normal everywhere. [at least Hungary thinks so. she looks at one of the wrappers... CERES Vines] But I think CERES copied America most of all.

V

[maple_syrup_can]

[Canada ended up high-tailing it out of the movie he was in, too. Standing in the lobby he frowns to himself, wondering if he can leave now, without seeing a whole movie through. And that's when he sees a familiar face!]

Hello, Hungary. [Canada smiles softly and waves as he comes closer.]

[manliestmaiden]

[for a moment, Hungary doesn't see the other nation, but she hears him. she turns to look around a few times before Ame--- no, Canada comes into view. thanks to their amiable relationship, Hungary seems to remember him]

Ahh, szia Kanada! I didn't know you were here!

[maple_syrup_can]

[Every time someone notices him properly, he's deeply relieved. Thank you, Hungary-!

He nods and shrugs a little.]

Sorry, I just got here. Um, that is, to this world...thing. If you mean the theatre, I- er. I've been here a little while. [He'd rather not talk about the movie he just walked out of.]

[manliestmaiden]

[it took her a moment! she would not ever say that, though]

I guess I meant both! [a sunny smile, despite the horrible things she just saw on those screens] It's good to see a familiar face.

[maple_syrup_can]

[Relaxing, he can return her smile more easily too.]

Yes, it really is. How about you? Have you been here long? [beat] I suppose I mean both, too.

[manliestmaiden]

[she looks down briefly in thought, smile fading a little]

Not that long. To both places. [and then back up] I've been on the colony for about a week. And here... Maybe an hour? [a shrug] I tried one movie, and it was not what I thought I'd be, and so I tried another... That one didn't work out, either.

V

[niceguypose]

[Rock Lee is nearby with an armful of popcorn, thinking over the same decision.]

Ah! This movie... could it be different?!

[manliestmaiden]

[hm? Hungary turns from the movie poster to look at the person who just spoke. a young man in... some green one-piece. that's... interesting...

but that doesn't really matter. Hungary is friendly and polite!]

I was wondering the same thing. The other movies I went into... they were not so good.

[niceguypose]

[The bushy-browed young mad nods thoughtfully.]

Yes... I know what you mean! I have never seen a 'movie' before, but I never imagined that they could be so unsettling!

[manliestmaiden]

[those eyebrows................. is this man one of England's citizens?!]

Movies aren't usually like that! I mean, they don't usually show old, embarrassing memories! [there can be orgies though, depending on what sort of movie you're watching. AHEM]

[niceguypose]

[He is no Englishman!!]

Is - is that so? [He twiddles his fingers together uncertainly, as if recalling some embarrassing moments that have been displayed for him on the screen.]

So they do not broadcast our very lives?!

[manliestmaiden]

[she shakes her head] Most movies are created as a means to escape from real life, like when you read a really good book! It's supposed to be entertainment. Certainly, not all movies are like that, but there has never been a movie I've seen that was able to display my own memories.