//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

Yue | Akaya Akashiya Ayakashino

[twomeals]

Lobby

[Movie theaters are still something on the "new and fascinating" side of the spectrum for Yue, and so...he's found himself distracted by the snacks. Of course. If anyone else is wandering around the lobby, they might find him staring at the candy selection in a serious moment of indecision. Or chewing on popcorn later, as he watches people escape their respective movies.]

Theater ii

[Eventually he does go for a movie! A movie that is turning out to be....less amusing than he'd hoped. And yet (disturbing deaths and romantic(???) memories aside, this robot's quest is strangely fascinating.]

...I wonder if he'll ever find it.

lobby!

[harepiece]

[Did someone ask for a candy connoisseur's opinion? No?? OZ IS HERE ANYWAY, where did he even come from - but he'll be standing in front of the candy shelf right alongside Yue and pointing out milk duds and sour patch kids, respectively.]

That one's really good, but if you want to try something interesting, go for these! They're so sour it almost hurts!

[But he seems strangely satisfied?! He also has an open and half-emptied bag of the same thing in his hand... It's like winning in some sort of competition to be able to eat more than one, okay.]

They get sweet right after though, so that part's nice.

[twomeals]

[Yue's used to having a backseat driver in his life anyway, so this sudden intrusion is actually appreciated. Studying the sour patches!]

Are they really that sour? Ah, but I do like sweets...

[Gosh, this is actually kind of a dilemma, isn't it? Sour vs sweet...a pause, as he actually notices what Oz is eating.]

...Do you like them?

[harepiece]

[A DILEMMA INDEED, but Oz just nods at that.]

I do! They're really good. [Despite the apparent pain that comes with them...

But Oz will hold the package out after that, tilting it so the opening is facing Yue.]

You can try some if you want! Then you'll know whether you'd want a whole bag to yourself or if you want to try something different. I can show you which ones are the very best, too!

[It's his duty as a sweet-devouring fattydingdong, after all.]

[twomeals]

Mm, okay!

[As a fellow sweet-lover, how could he possibly say no? Yue picks out a couple candies from the box, popping them in his mouth and....pulling a face. Whoa, sour explosion!]

[harepiece]

[That fantastic face earns him an amused laugh... RUDE, MAYBE, but Oz can't help it.]

See? I told you they're really sour! [And based on that expression alone-] A little too sour, huh?

[twomeals]

[Wait, give him a moment, he-he can handle this!

.....Aaaand he's good.] I never tried anything like that before...ah, but it is kind of sweet, at the end!

[harepiece]

Right? I like that part! [Just get sweet candy then but no, he needs the challenge apparently...]

That isn't even the most sour one they have. If you want to try the really sour ones, there are some that look like regular hard candies, but they're like ten of these at once! Maybe even twenty!

[twomeals]

[More sour!? Yue is sadly not a daredevil, but--]

Twenty times?? Can you really eat something that sour? [It boggles the mind!!]

[harepiece]

I can! But then I can't taste anything for a few minutes after...

[And yet, he's still tried them more than once??]

[twomeals]

...That sounds kind of dangerous. [For your mouth.]

I think I'd rather stick to sweet things, myself.

[harepiece]

What kind of sweet things are your favorite? Do you like fruity things, or chocolate - caramel, maybe? Cinnamon?

[He's peering at the case as he talks, looking over the available options. He won't lead this poor stranger astray again!]

[twomeals]

Mm, I like chocolate. And caramel is good too, I tried a little of that before!

[Peering also! Gosh, even just narrowing it to chocolate, how many different chocolate bars are there?]

lobby

[quaria]

[ SON, WE MEET AGAIN. Similar to Yue though, Setsuna is more fascinated by the food than the actual movies. His choice are the hotdog sandwiches. After all of the recent stress (alien invasion, worlds being destroyed, and all that...), he decided to take it all out on food.

So... he's buying more than usual. He has three hotdog sandwiches. What an appetite. At least this is going to last him until tomorrow. ]

[twomeals]

[The delicious smell of triple hot dogs is the first thing to catch his attention. The second thing is the person holding them. Aah, but what to say...]

....Are those good? They look good.

[quaria]

[ Oh, a child. A curious child is staring at the hotdogs. Well, he has three... He doesn't mind donating one to a hungry child.

So he nods, then offers one to the boy. Try it and agree with him! They're really delicious. c: ]

[twomeals]

[A curious child who's almost six feet tall, yes...but he lights up at the free hotdog, accepting it without question.]

Ah, thank you!

[And he takes a bite! Mmmm tasty.]

[quaria]

[ It just means that Yue is blessed. How lucky! Setsuna wishes he was that tall when he was younger. But he's glad the boy is enjoying the sandwich. He'll go ahead and join in...

Taking a bite from his own, he savors the flavors of his favorite snack. And since they're still beside the hotdog stand, he points at the condiments that are free to use. He's saying to add some according to Yue's taste. ]

[twomeals]

[So quiet...Yue looks at all the condiments available, not sure what to choose. Ummmmmmm.....let's try this nice red bottle of nice red ketchup, for a nice red hot dog. Yes.

Trying another bite!]

....I think I put too much.

[quaria]

Here...

[ Oh! He spoke!!

Anyway, the hotdog expert Setsuna picks up a clean plastic fork to add more toppings to balance the ketchup with. Sure hope that Yue likes bacon! There is now delicious bacon bits on top of the ketchup. They're the kind that is lightly toasted, so it's quite crispy. It adds a great texture to the sandwich. ]

[twomeals]

[Well who can say no to meat? Yue tries again, and--yes, this is better. Nodding!]

Thank you very much! I've never tried one of these before...it's interesting.

ii!

[thorniness]

He has to. If not, his human will have died for nothing.

[Hijikata wants to believe... He wants to believe that there is a happy ending for that robot somewhere...

(If those were his romantic memories appearing onscreen, he would probably be far more concerned but since they're not, he's just here to cheer on the giant robot.)]

[twomeals]

I hope he does. There must be cheese somewhere out there, for him to find.

[That poor human. Yue doesn't really have any romantic memories of his own, either, so he's also just focusing on the roboventure. This would be much more awkward if he was still possessed, that's for sure.]

[thorniness]

Yeah. Doesn't seem like we got a lot of time left, though.

[Hijikata is that guy that checks his phone at key points during the movie to see how much time it has left to wrap things up. Do they have enough time to for him to find the cheese? He hopes so. God, he hopes so.]

[twomeals]

We don't? Is it ending soon?

[Oh noooo that's no good! The robot's still in the middle of making its way through an abandoned human city that may or may not have cheese in it!]