//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[souredsweet]

[It's less the reaction that draws Kaoru's attention away from the screen and more the fact that a secondary demonic presence can be detected, and the person that it's coming from isn't recognizable.

So curiosity - curiosity and the desire to entirely ignore everything about the stupid film currently playing - is what eventually has Kaoru shifting down across a few of the empty seats. Once close enough to be heard:]

You should take care, sir. This sort of thing happens often when CERES releases new projects or material... It likely won't become more bearable.

[Just in case Senkimaru wants to bail while things are still relatively mild, that is, since who knows how bad it might get. Kaoru knows CERES shoots for the stars...]

[hagureoni]

[There was an unfamiliar woman that was speaking to him - and one he was pretty sure that had not been seated anywhere near him before. Life had made him always kind of suspicious about the intentions of other people. Yukina and his friends were one thing, though one had to question the trust in his friends, but strangers were a different thing.]

Are you trying to warn me?

[Well, up to this point, he can still play along with this and try to figure out her intentions.]

[souredsweet]

[Kaoru's head cants a little to the side at that, gaze drifting toward the screen.]

If you wish to view it as a warning, it would serve well as one.

[So, yes. Yes, basically, it's a warning. One that isn't very useful, all things considered, but a Good Samaritan Warning nonetheless!]

It's best to be prepared in an unpleasant situation like this. As prepared as possible, rather...

[hagureoni]

[Now that was starting to sound even more suspicious. His eyes didn't leave Kaoru's face, though. Why? He didn't know. Perhaps it was because he was trying to see what this person was thinking. Or was it something else? He couldn't really point his finger at it yet.]

As prepared as possible? What do you mean?

[souredsweet]

[Kaoru at least won't be doing anything super furtive like glancing away or otherwise trying to avoid Senkimaru's probing stare. The explanation comes quickly enough, too.]

CERES - the people responsible for these movies... You should be prepared for them. They'll continue to do things like this.

[A nod toward the movie screen.]

[hagureoni]

[He keeps mustering her, but the warning seemed to be reasonable enough. Normal - not anything out of the ordinary. Well, if a warning was ordinary - he certainly did not think so.]

Are those the same ones who 'saved' us?

[In any case, they were probably not pleasant people if they used skills like that - skills that obtained very personal information.]

[souredsweet]

The ones who claim to have done so, yes.

[Whether it's more than a claim or not has yet to be seen, but Kaoru only implies that rather than outright stating it.]

We know little about them, but this sort of thing is unfortunately common.