//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]
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no subject
however, what sousei says next causes him to ground to a halt. for the lack of a more poetic way to put it: he stares, perplexed more than surprised. ]
... I beg your pardon. Did you just say you'd judge on my behalf?
[ wait, what. hold the dramatic internal monologuing, what just happened. ]
no subject
Now that he is more certain he has this pesky sword's full attention, he will explain himself more fully, but Sousei has never had problems with confidence. As ever, his posture is perfectly straight, chin up, the very picture of the military commander that he basically is.]
Yes. Should you have no objections, I will judge on your behalf.
You states that a sword should not judge its user worth or unworthy, but nonetheless you have a set of morals and beliefs of what should or should not be done.
That is enough to judge worthiness by.
no subject
no, he's not laughing at sousei, even though he probably could. he's just amused because he tries to find most things in life amusing. it's just his way of coping. ]
My, my. You must be the serious type, Sousei-san. [ gee, what gave that away. ] For all intents and purposes, we've barely talked, and you've already become invested in my future. You've surprised me-- well met.
[ and why wouldn't he be surprised? it occurs to him that this is someone's roundabout way of trying to treat him like a person. it's delightful, even if he can't understand it. ]
no subject
He really dislikes it, sometimes.
But at that, he simply arches an eyebrow.]
I have been tasked with the defense of my country. The includes citizens and swords both, which makes it my duty.
[easier to pretend that that's what it is than that he actually cares (which he does).]
no subject
he also would've been the sort of retainer who'd die on the battlefield the moment history took a turn for the worst, which it usually does. he's the sort of master that swords tend to lose fairly early on and miss terribly in the aftermath. a part of him, the part that is old and weary and unsurprised by everything, thinks that this man is going to break hearts trying to protect everything his duty tells him to. the part of tsurumaru that believes in protecting what's precious to him almost lauds him for it.
the part of tsurumaru that looks for what's light-hearted in everything as a coping mechanism just laughs. in a flurry of movement, he drops to his knee, white robes flapping around him like crane wings. ]
Then I, Tsurumaru Kuninaga, vow to defend the noble dignity that allows Abe no Sousei to extend his generous protection to strange swords that he plucks from moving automatons.
[ it'd have been beautifully dignified if it weren't for his bright smile. ] Let none touch the heart that rivals that of gentle maidens in both stoutness and purity.
no subject
Suffice to say, Tsurumaru dropping to his knee like that, making a vow like that, was not in his expected responses file, and so it takes him a moment to respond.
For a moment, he simply looks at Tsurumaru, as if in an attempt to see through him, to at least understand his motives and reasoning. The speech was more flowery than he was used to, but...the words, bordering on mockery, don't bother him any more than the words about the Abe family, or the words about the Yamainu, bothered him either.
(That is to say that they bothered him in a special sort of way, but not one that he would ever show or allow to influence his work,)]
... Is that so.
[He'd be irritable, but...there's something about this that is just too strange even for that. An order, clean and simple--]
Get off the ground.
no subject
still, while it's hardly his intention to dishonour sousei, he also has no intention of getting up yet. the spread of his kimono is like the wings of a bird at rest by his side, his eyes demurred, but once again-- the smile spoils the picture of serenity. ]
By the way, this is what you've been speaking to this entire time.
[ he says this cheerfully, even as he takes his sword from his side, sheathe and all, and presents it to sousei length-wise. it's a beautiful sword, white with gold trimming, and with the symbol of a crane pressed into its hilt like a brand. old and lovely, battle-scarred.
it's also what he is, a reminder that the human form that you see is but a spirit given form for the first time in hundreds of years. ] I am a sword, Sousei-san. I was made to protect men like you from other men like you. Saying that it's your duty to protect me is akin to putting the cart before the horse -- which, goodness, is surprising enough on its own, but coming from a man as seemingly serious as you, I can only be twice as surprised.
You're very kind, Sousei-san, perhaps too kind, but a sword shouldn't be protected. [ however here, his smile turns a little more serious, a little more... vicious. and suddenly, he is no longer a paradox of appearance and personality as at once they align and become one and the same. ] I do have to say, however, that I didn't dislike your words. I would not mind being drawn to slice apart those who would disgrace those sentiments.
no subject
Sousei inspects the sword offered to him, but does not take or touch it--it is not his sword to touch, and he does not need a sword while he has his own, one that has served him well. It has always been a little ridiculous, a white and gold sword, pure and beautiful, when its purpose has always been to kill. Everything this sword is before him, too, is similar.
Maybe that is why he is so set on this. Or maybe, as is more likely, he means every word he says--he takes his duty seriously, and sword or not, people who require protection need to be protected. He's never much cared for governmental imposed laws--why should he care, then, about whether or not a sword is meant to protect instead of being protected?]
That will not be necessary. I can take care of myself. [He has always been the protector. He doesn't want to be the protected.
When he couldn't stand on his own, he lost enough people to want to at least try to present himself as invincible.]
Should you find a master you consider honorable and acceptable here, I will accept that. Otherwise, I shall do exactly as I stated. [He doesn't back down when he's decided on something, after all--what sort of a captain would he be if he did at the first objection?]
no subject
because of this long history behind him, tsurumaru raises his head and smiles at sousei. it's not a knee-jerk reaction so much as one that he has come to terms to after hundreds upon hundreds of years. for once, he's as serene as his appearance, as peaceful as the freshyly fallen snow on the day he was presented to his first lord. ]
I cannot accept that, Sousei-san. [ finally, he gets up, heavy sleeve swaying and folding back neatly against him like origami. he's not tall, but he stands like he is, a singular white figure against the starkness of the modernized theatre around them. it must be surprising to everyone else around them, he thinks, watching the two of them have this conversation. it must be nice, to be surprised by something like that. ] Not a single one of my lords survived to see themselves happy, but this is something I've come to terms with as it was they whom surprised themselves by choosing me. But I cannot choose a master [ it's not up to him to choose someone to doom ], and I cannot be protected by someone who did not choose me. [ nobody who did not choose the path of ownership should suffer because of him. ]
The same as how you cannot accept a vow from someone who did not choose you, Sousei-san. [ he may be a sparkly crane, but he's hardly an idiot. he vowed to protect sousei's dignity, yes, but not sousei. similarly, he bowed to the abe name, not sousei. frankly, it's because he doesn't know who sousei is. he'll need time to find out, and he's looking forward to the challenge-- but today, he acknowledges nothing that he has yet to see with his own eyes.
a small laugh, finally, to take a bit of the seriousness away from this heavy topic. ] Anyway, I'd rather be surprised myself by the outcome, and you can't do that if you're the one choosing. Without surprises, the heart will die young-- and I've yet to want to relinquish my heart.
no subject
He never said anything about choosing, and honestly never had any intent to choose a master for this sword--for this person (because person does not mean human, and personhood is not something that is solely the domain of humans...just as monstrosity is not the domain of monsters). He said only that he would judge those who would be his master against Tsurumaru's moral scale, and deem them worthy or not.
The ultimate choosing, he thinks, should still be between the two that will have to work together, as equals, though he will be the first to admit he knows very little of swords that speak.
Sousei crosses his arms behind his back. It is probably a funny sight indeed. He has adapted to this place as best he can, and so he is dressed in modern western clothing; it would be silly to wear a uniform that means nothing in a place where it cannot be replaced if something goes wrong. The captain, from a modern age where wearing a sword is illegal, yet nonetheless with an archaic name and an archaic sword at his side, and the sword, entirely ethereal and not entirely there.]
I'm not interested in being chosen by you. [And he disdains the thought that anyone would bow to his family name, because he would rather not be bowed to or respected at all than to be respected for a family that cast him off from the moment he was born. But he does not mean it harshly, either. It is the simple truth--he doesn't need to be chosen by someone to do his duty by them.]
Just as I am not interested in making any choices on your behalf. Do not misunderstand me. My primary concern is seeing a sword in the hands of someone who would use it for poor reasons.