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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2015-03-07 10:20 am
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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000


Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))
"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I
[ 00:00 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II
[ 00:00 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III
[ 00:00 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV
[ 00:00 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V
[ why:o'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE
Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!


hollower: (I didn't steal the hat I borrowed it.)

[personal profile] hollower 2015-03-08 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST DAY. Perona's face goes white and she nearly passes out, clutching her hands over her chest, teetering slowly in place. Ah...ahaha...fuck this place, she's ready to wake up or go home, plsnthnx.

That is until the robot seems to answer Lee's question for him, stirring from under Perona and groping for his paddle while muttering about messes and little boys needing a good spanking. That's Perona's cue to leap off and take refuge behind Lee. Make yourself useful as a meat shield, boy.]


HIT IT AGAIN!
niceguypose: (righteous)

[personal profile] niceguypose 2015-03-09 02:41 am (UTC)(link)
[The enemy still persists! Lee gives it a look of surprise for a moment as it raises its weapon. A paddling?!]

A-ah... yes ma'am!

[But tThen he punches straight forward to smash through the robot's chest!]
hollower: (OP tumblr page?)

[personal profile] hollower 2015-03-10 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
[Ah, that is all sorts of satisfying...and she didn't even have to lift a finger herself, too! Would have been better to take revenge for herself, but that can't be the only one. Besides, actually blowing the asshole up may have gotten her in big trouble. This way she can pin the blame on this joker if more of those things come to call.]

Eh, you're pretty useful, aren't you? [She taps the robot's foot with the toe of her boot, nodding when it gathers no response. Looks like he's not getting up again.]
niceguypose: (friendly)

[personal profile] niceguypose 2015-03-10 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
[He smiles sheepishly over his fallen opponent and nods, happy to have successfully helped someone.]

I- I suppose that I try to be! As a ninja, I aim to help those in need!
hollower: (UNSURE)

[personal profile] hollower 2015-03-12 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
[Yeah, whatever, though 'ninja' is a little odd. It's not like there aren't ninjas that are also pirates, but they're few and far between. Besides...]

You're pretty colorful for a ninja. [Aren't they supposed to be all dark and one with shadows and illusions and all that? Perona doesn't know, she's not interested.]
niceguypose: (talking)

[personal profile] niceguypose 2015-03-12 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I try to look as youthful as possible! [He gives her a thumbs up. That was a compliment, right?]
hollower: (...Dude.)

[personal profile] hollower 2015-03-13 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[...Dude, you lost her.]

What?
niceguypose: (Default)

[personal profile] niceguypose 2015-03-14 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
This outfit is a reflection of my youth, Miss! That is all.
hollower: (BLEEEEH~!)

[personal profile] hollower 2015-03-14 12:57 am (UTC)(link)
[Shelooks him up and down with extremely scrutiny. Good lord, what a fashion nightmare.] You look like an enormous green pepper. Bleeeech, gross!
niceguypose: (friendly)

[personal profile] niceguypose 2015-03-14 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
[He just bears an innocent smile and a thumbs up the whole time.]

I am sorry that such a thing is distasteful to you! But... I love the fiery spice of peppers. I am so glad to be compared to one!
hollower: (Are you ill?)

[personal profile] hollower 2015-03-14 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[...At this point Perona is not sure if she should be frustrated, confused, or entertained. That's some kind of confidence you that there, Green Guy.]

You are very strange. [But you did save her, so she has to be appreciative. A little bit.] But I suppose you're not all bad if you came to rescue me...though I would have liked to take a shot myself at this thing.

[Alas.]
niceguypose: (blank)

[personal profile] niceguypose 2015-03-15 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
[Confidence is everything!]

Ah! I apologize. I- I thought that you needed to be rescued, I did not know that you wanted to face your opponent after all...
hollower: (nagnagnag!!)

[personal profile] hollower 2015-03-15 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
Opponent? I was being attacked! [What kind of skewed world do you live in? That fight was one-sided, though if she weren't so emotionally and mentally disheveled by being...spanked, then the one-sidedness would have been in her favor, honestly.]

Whatever, I don't care. I just never want to be in that situation again, ever.
niceguypose: (drained)

[personal profile] niceguypose 2015-03-15 02:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Er... I'm sorry! [He still saved your butt at least!] You can be free to attack the enemy's fallen form if you'd like! And, ah, how are you feeling?!
hollower: (Huff!)

[personal profile] hollower 2015-03-15 04:06 pm (UTC)(link)
There's no fun in beating a dead body... [Unless it's a zombie, but that's just a pain in the neck. Zombies are hardy as heck, and nearly indestructible. She would know.] And I'm...fine.

[No, she's not. Perona's backside hurts like heck, and her pride is more damaged than anything else. Not to mention she's just a little bit traumatized after being more or less sexually assaulted in public, no less. Ugh.] I'm perfectly fine! Thank you for the help.
niceguypose: (righteous)

[personal profile] niceguypose 2015-03-16 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
That is understandable... [He nods towards the broken robot.] I am glad that you are alright. That enemy fought in a- a most dishonorable way. If you ever need help again, I would be glad to prove it!
hollower: (Hollow girl.)

[personal profile] hollower 2015-03-19 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
[Her eyes narrow slightly at one particular word, lips forming a thin line - please don't bring it up, you piece of shit, rescuer or not - before exhaling sharply through her nose. She doesn't want to accept the help of a stranger, Perona enjoys the fact she should be stronger than that, but on the other hand...a useful lackey sounds nice. And her negative ghosts don't work on robots.]

...Alright. I accept your offer.