//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]
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If you simply must know, I am very nearly eighteen years old.
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I mean, same here! Hold up a second!
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[Maribelle hesitates but then waits for him at the door.] ... I suppose I should thank you for coming to my aid.
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[Since when is crap a foul word what the hell]
So uh, what's your name? I'm Yosuke, Yosuke Hanamura.
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A pleasure, I'm sure, Yosuke. My name is Maribelle, so nice to meet you.
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So uh, Maribelle, are you really going to go to management about those stupid robots?
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[Not an ounce of doubt in her voice. They will be dealt with or she will deal with them.]
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I mean, you get like I said before that those things were probably programmed to do that? I think you should yell at them for making the robots act like that, and totally get a refund and then some.
[He's not arguing though, who the hell makes robots call people sluts?]
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Okay, well, let's go right now and take care of it. I'm sure they'll be more willing to listen if more than one person is banging on their door!
[In fact he's expecting that a lot of people have beat them to the punch, so they can just add to the growing list of unhappy patrons.]
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My gratitude, darling. [You get a cute little smile, Yosuke, what a good boy.]
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[She seems pretty prim and proper, so he offers his arm to escort her like a gentleman is he doing this right]
Well, my lady, allow me to escort you. [He says in the most gentleman-like voice he can muster.]
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[Instead she'll just take his arm. Maybe she misjudged him. Maybe he isn't a foul mouthed nobody. Maybe he's a gentleman.] Of course, darling. Do lead the way.
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[He leads her to what he thinks is the door to the management's office. Okay Yosuke, don't screw this up! So he clears his throat and politely knocks on the door a few times, waiting patiently for someone to answer the door.]
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[Much to his dismay, it opens to reveal yet another robot- this one is wearing a tie, but also wielding one of the wooden paddles that the BSDM bots in the theater were also carrying around.]
STATE YOUR BUSINESS.no subject
We have a complaint to lodge with the management of this business! Your staff has been acting in a frankly impermissible manner and I must request that you do something about it forthwith.
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[But he's cut off pretty quick by the robot.]
NO MALFUNCTIONS DETECTED, PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR SEATS OR EXIT THE PREMISES.
Hey, no! You better believe your stupid robots are malfunctioning!
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They are absolutely functioning in the most malevolent of ways! You didn't even check!
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Dude, spit it out! [He yells at the robot.]
ALL UNITS ARE FUNCTIONING AS PROGRAMMED. YOUR LODGED COMPLAINT IS INVALID, PLEASE ENJOY THE FACILITIES.That's not an answer! The hell the robots are "functioning as programmed"!!!