//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

Maribelle | Fire Emblem

[troubadear]

Theatre V

[Maribelle had certainly meant to attend My Petite Equestrian Experience. A delightful tale of horses could only please a young lady such as herself. Surely more so than anything regarding "questionable morals". But it seems she walked in through the wrong door and is here instead. It seems rude to storm out before anything "questionable" occurs, so she sits through it and finds herself surprisingly pleased! How noble and gallant, all those common folk banding together to bring good to the world! She's quite touched!

The fact that memories of her delightful Lissa's smile are spliced between these good deeds only serves to soften Maribelle's heart further.] Oh... My darling Lissa... [Smiling through her tears, Maribelle fumbles with her handkerchief as she tries to clean her face and accidentally drops it onto the floor,] How I do wish I could show you this, I'm sure you would find it quite uplifting...

[STOP. TEARFUL SLUT, WHO SAID YOU COULD CAUSE SUCH A SCENE?]

... I do beg your pardon?! Who do you think you are addressing, you- you tin bound troglodyte!

[punchesyu]

[He had some traumatic experience at one of the other theaters, but it seems like everyone is sneaking into other theaters. Well, since everyone's doing it, he is too. He's quickly making his way down the aisle to find himself a seat, but he can't get around this stupid robot.

But wow he has never heard anyone be that blunt before to straight up call someone a slut. That's really going too far.]

What the hell's your problem? [He frowns right at the robot. That's a bunch of crap.]

[troubadear]

This bronze, brazen brute is performing in an utterly reprehensible manner! [To which the robot responds:YOU LOVE IT, WHORE]

[Which causes Maribelle to (understandably) scream and smack the robot with her pink parasol.] How dare you, you wretched beast!

[punchesyu]

[Her dated language sure is throwing him off, but he knows what's not throwing him off, this robot.]

[He goes to smack the robot upside its metallic head, but that only results in his grabbing of his own hand.]

Ow! Damn, what are you made of? Shut up! That's not how you talk to a girl!

[troubadear]

Don't you start! There's quite enough foul language here already! [Maribelle, no, he's defending you]

And you! [Points her parasol at the robot's head.] Get on your knees and beg for my forgiveness this instant! I shan't tolerate being insulted in such a degenerate manner!

[The BDSM robot is probably confused by the role switching idk]

[punchesyu]

Wait, wha? All I said was damn! [He watches on helplessly as she demands the...robot...to bow down to her? What kinda girl is she?]

You know, I got a feeling it's not going to listen to you...

[troubadear]

[And indeed: IMPUDENT SLUT]

Curish ogre! [Smacks it with her parsol again.] Why I never!

[punchesyu]

[Okay, he can't stand around and let this continue. That's just awful.]

I said cut it out!!!! [He straight up shoulders the bot as hard as he can to knock it right over on its stupid robot face.]

[troubadear]

[And that works!! Yay, Yosuke, you saved the damsel! Damsel who takes that opportunity to stomp her boot down on whatever looks vaguely neckish on the robot.]

I assure you, I shall never be visiting this establish again! And I fully intend to file a formal complaint about your behaviour!

[punchesyu]

[He definitely can't blame her for being mad. He'd be mad too.]

Woah, woah, don't break it, what if they charge you for damages?! That thing was really out of line but you gotta control your temper-!

[troubadear]

If they charge me? Young man, I assure you, if anyone is going to be pressing charges here it shall be myself!

[But at least the robot seems subdued enough that Maribelle can now storm past it.] Honestly, never in all my life have I been insulted so crudely by someone working in service.

[punchesyu]

It's a robot! It was probably programmed to act like that! And wait what?

Young man? Woah, dude, just how old are you? [That comes out before he thinks twice about it.]

[troubadear]

That is hardly an excuse! [Especially since she doesn't know what a robot is.]

Asking a lady her age? It seems I am doomed to be surrounded by improper manners today. [She definitely looks like a teenager though. Eighteen.]

[ole]

( Spain is dozing off in the middle of the movie. Sure, it's one of the better movies so far but he's seen so many it's really time for sleep. He's nodding off just when he hears a rather shrill cry that might have triggered some noble flashbacks of his own. )

Huh? ( Give him a second to recover. What did that robot just say to that girl? ) Ay! That's no way to speak to a lady! You should apologize!

( It's not listening to him is it. )

[troubadear]

[GET ON YOUR KNEES AND SCRUB THIS FLOOR, SLATTERN BITCH]

[Maribelle looks furious] Watch your mouth, you pestiferous villiago! How dare you address a woman of my breeding in such a way?! ... Or any woman, for that matter!

[ole]

( What in the world is this vocabulary even Spain doesn't know but he does know the robot is in the wrong! There's really no reasoning with these robots though so he'll come to Maribelle's side, )

What caused all of this? Do you need help, miss?

[troubadear]

[Thank you for moving to the adjacent space, Spain. And for selecting "talk".]

I was merely reminiscing on my beautiful Lissa when this tin bucket interrupted me with uncalled for insults! I won't permit it!

[It's not usually Maribelle's job to recruit allies off the battlefield, but she's seen it done often enough to know how it goes.] Do help me put this wretched beast in his place, sir. I'm by your side!

[ole]

( Spain is recruited! But he's also unarmed?? What's he supposed to do, Maribelle? Throw his soda at the robot? )

Hah, I've never fought with a robot before! ( But he doesn't sound at all nervous or afraid. Check out his confident, Maribelle... ) Don't worry, miss, the Kingdom of Spa--

( NAUGHTY BOY, DOWN ON YOUR KNEES WHACK, WHACK, )

I haven't even done anything yet!

( Maribelle this is your savior. )

[troubadear]

[Well, he's... distracted the robot, at least...

She's had far more useless allies, Spain, don't worry.]

That is quite enough, you uncouth horror! [Blocks one of the robot's blows with her parasol!]

[ole]

( Is it even raining outside or is the parasol just a fashion statement. Or maybe she's actually from the Victorian Era, oh no.

Maribelle, watch where you swing that thing; it's totally caught him off guard and he can't help but duck instinctively. A little lower to the ground he sees a napkin? No, it's a handkerchief. He'd reach to pick it up but there's a lot going on and )

ACK!

( That robot sure did roll walk stumble (how are they even moving?) over him. Congratulations, Maribelle, you have toppled the kinky Anglo-Franco-German robot (KAFGR™). The thing is now waving it's paddle in the area and repeating all sorts of obscenities at the two of them. )

Get off of me! ( Rolling over and kicking it once he's free. Actually, that felt really good and he'll kick it again. And again. THere's a lot of frusration here this thing might have triggered some memories, okay. )

[troubadear]

[Look, you never know when you might need a parasol, you should always carry one on you. What would she hit robots with if she didn't have her parasol?]

[Maribelle wrinkles her nose at KAFGR™.] Wretched beast. [Parasol aside, she's unarmed, so she's only here to give Spain stat boosts and help him block incoming attacks. So. Have fun kicking him there, Spain. Wow, so many repeated attacks in a row...]

[And that's when Maribelle finally notices her dropped handkerchief and kneels down to pick it up.] Oh, honestly...

[ole]

( Amidst the attacks, Spain notices that the robot seems to have stopped it's assault on them once Maribelle picks up the handkerchief. It's confusing at first and then it hits him. This is what the robots meant by dirty???? )

Ay, they could have asked nicely.

[troubadear]

One handkerchief is hardly cause for such crass reprimands! [Scolding the robot.] You should be ashamed of yourself!

[invigorating]

[Nowi's perfectly fine with the movie until the images show up. Sure she's fascinated that such a thing could exist in the first place, but the fact that the images appearing are things from her life and aren't directly addressed by the movie is kind of throwing her off.

Thankfully there's a distraction in the form of a familiar voice a couple of rows ahead.]

Ahh, Maribelle!

[She perks up immediately and begins to climb over the rows instead of being a sane person and going around. Nowi stops behind her fellow Shepard and leans over the seat beside her.]

What happened? Why are you yelling?

[And after a moment of thought...] And what's a "troglo-whatever"?

[troubadear]

[Maribelle knows Nowi isn't as young as she seems, but she still finds the fact that apparently "troglodyte" was the only word mentioned that Nowi didn't understand...]

Be careful, darling, stay by my side! [or behind her, whichever] The service staff here are proving to be incredibly rude.

[FILTHY TROLLOP]