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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2015-03-07 10:20 am
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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000


Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))
"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I
[ 00:00 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II
[ 00:00 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III
[ 00:00 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV
[ 00:00 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V
[ why:o'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE
Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!


punchesyu: (sassmaster)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-11 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
Raw food? What planet are you from? [That is totally not it not at all good try though]

It's like... you ever see those magazines that are definitely adult material?

[Oh boy this will go well]
sjokolade: (Who...me?)

[personal profile] sjokolade 2015-03-11 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
[Wow, rude!!!]

What else did you expect me to say? How should I know what your worst nightmare ever was suppose to be? You can't tell me these things and have it be vague!

[Either way, she simply raised an eyebrow at him]

Uh...no? What adult material?

[Oh the joys of living in the 1800s]
punchesyu: (Why him)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-11 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
[He can't believe he's about to explain this, he thought everyone knew what 'adult material' was!]

You know...like, porn?

[He says it kinda quietly too, no need to share with perfect strangers his perv]
sjokolade: (Wait what?)

[personal profile] sjokolade 2015-03-11 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
[.....

........

......................




Oh.



OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Now Yosuke can see the slow blush that was creeping on her face!]


W-what? Why would you even see porn in the movies? How can...how can you even see that when there were ponies running around?

Just...how?!

punchesyu: (dude that's not cool)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-11 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
[She almost had him convinced that she might not know what porn was.]

Dude, lots of people go to see rated X crap, they just don't talk about it! I have no clue how they got it in there, but they're gunna pay. The mental damages I suffered in there can never be repaired!
sjokolade: (Meet my little friend!)

[personal profile] sjokolade 2015-03-12 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
But still! That's just so gross! I can't believe people would even pay to just...watch that! I mean, just....no! And to think that I walked into a place that would even show it!

[And the joys of being a Disney princess too]

Whoever did this, they're going to get a piece of my mind! If they can show it here, just think! Who else might have saw it other than you?
punchesyu: (more angreh again and again)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-12 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
Uh...yeah. [This girl is way too innocent. He's beyond surprised.]

If you didn't see it, then I have no idea who else coulda. Anyone in that theater might of seen something potentially life scarring! How did you get so lucky that you only saw ponies?

[Maybe...it's because she's so innocent that it didn't show her anything gross!]
sjokolade: (That's too spicy!)

[personal profile] sjokolade 2015-03-12 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
How should I know? All I know is that whatever you saw, I want no part of it! I'm just surprised no one else said anything outside of you!

I just can't believe there are people who would even want to see porn and for everyone to see too!

Ugh, that isn't going to go away anytime soon is it? [And when you're locked up for 15 years of your life too]
punchesyu: (casual pose yo)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-12 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, well! [UM he's just not going to let on that porn isn't such a bad thing! Or that he may potentially be one of those people who likes to look at it from time to time!]

It probably isn't, I mean, they're totally okay with showing it and freaking everyone out in the process. [Namely him] I think if they weren't okay with it, then it wouldn't be here in the first place. [Good explanation! Surely she'll get it!]

But hey, you didn't see it at all! So there's that, right?
sjokolade: (Uh...no)

[personal profile] sjokolade 2015-03-14 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
[Such is the life of Anna. Always naive and innocent!]

Yeah but that still doesn’t explain why they thought it was a good idea to show it. I mean, I still don’t understand why I only saw ponies while you and probably everyone else saw….something else but that’s besides the point!

[She wanted to get to the bottom of this!]

It’s still bothering me!
punchesyu: (Why him)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-14 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[He says flatly, without thinking first-]

It's probably because I had to explain to you what 'adult material' was.

[The secret must be having to have a dirty mind.]
sjokolade: (Don't mind me over here!)

[personal profile] sjokolade 2015-03-15 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[You walked right into that one, Yosuke!]

But now that you told me, I’m going to be seeing nothing but porn! It's not making it any easier!