ioculus | //TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000

Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))

"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE

THEATER I

[ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER II

[ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III

[ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER IV

[ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)

BONUS - THEATER V

[ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Threaded | Flat

theater i

[ To be honest, Rose hadn't been completely sold on this movie. Someone had told her it was a 'must see' so she reluctantly bought the ticket before meandering into the theatre. The plan was originally going to be seeing how much of a mockery she could make of it before the staff decided to kick her out. Turns out she doesn't need to though since it sabotages itself within the first fifteen minutes and then morphs into something absolutely hilarious on its own. ]

Wow, this movie just got a million times more interesting.

[ Or so she thinks until she catches her own face in the foray. She squints at the screen as if she's not sure that she just saw - No. No, that's definitely her getting nailed by some dude. That's new. Her head tilts to one side as if she's still trying to process exactly what's happening. Obviously it isn't real but how did they manage to splice her in there? She hides her discomfort behind an air of nonchalance. ]

Huh. I think I'd remember being in a porno.

theater v

[ In her surprise at seeing memories of Luke and Roxanne and Charlie, the woman may have happened to let her snack slip from her hands. Maybe. She was totally about to pick it up, too, when she's suddenly facing down a robot with a very intimidating looking paddle.

Rose raises her hands with her palms out in a gesture of good will. ]

Uhm. Look, I don't want any trouble...

RECEIVE YOUR PUNISHMENT, FILTHY WHORE.

Woah, hey now. I may not be a lady but I do not appreciate the namecall-

[ Before she can get any further, it is definitely raising its paddle and she isn't about to stick around to be on the receiving end of it. The woman ducks into one of the row of seats and scurries along the floor to escape. That plan of action is effectively rendered useless when the robot shines a light down the aisle to illuminate her path. ]

YOU LOOK MUCH BETTER ON YOUR KNEES.

Fuck off, tin man!

Lobby,

( The line was so long for the movies, Spain figured there must have been a really good one out. Upon checking the movie posters though? Man, these are some weird movies and that’s saying a lot from a guy that has helped make movies about creepy civil war fauns.

Anyway, he can’t really decide on which movie he wants to see at the moment so don’t mind Spain standing in front of the theaters, arms crossed, face scrunched together in serious thought. )

Eenie meenie, miney mo…

( This is how important decisions are made. Someone should give him a suggestion. Or a warning. )

Theater III

( The scene is looping but Spain doesn’t seem to notice. He’s watched most of the movie with his chin on his hand, mouth fixed in a straight line and eyes on the screen but not particularly focused. He’s offended. He’s angry. And he hates this movie so much, he isn’t even really paying attention to the screen anymore. All he hears are the familiar screams and his imagination is really doing the rest for him.

By the third loop, he realizes, gets up rather quickly, let’s out a bright laugh, and shrugs. )

Ay, the movie is messed up! ( Ha ha ha. ) Where is the manager? I think I want my money back.

( But the movie was free, dumbo. )

Theater Por qué

( He didn’t mean to drop his ticket stub? It fell out of his pocket when he was leaving the theater and the next thing he knew he was being whacked! He spins around quickly, ready to give a swing of his own just in time to get another paddle right in the face. And now it’s calling him names?!

Spain isn’t the type to take any sort of beating quietly so from the theater you’ll hear his yells: )

Huh? What did you— Ay! Stop that! I do not! Knock that off! I said I was sorry!

( If you're lucky enough to witness the entire ordeal to the end, you’ll catch Spain punching the robot and immediately pulling his fist back, shaking it. THAT HURT HIM MORE THAN IT HURT THE ROBOT DIDN’T IT AND IT KEEPS HITTING HIM MORE. )

Why are you doing this to me!?

Concessions Area

( The movies are over now but he’s managed to get some ice from the concession stand. The only thing that hurts is his fist which will surely be fine by the end of the night. He’s just a huge grumpy baby right now and don’t mind him muttering to himself.

He used to like going to the movies! And now he’s pretty content with the idea of just staying home and renting. )

… And the movies weren’t even that good.

Edited 2015-03-08 04:17 (UTC)

tI. #reasons to regret having 9 stomachs

[ Jumbo sized popcorn? Check. Mustard? Double check. Assortment of artificially flavored, brightly colored, sugary treats? Triple check. Movie going experience is GO!

She steps into the theater and finds her seat and you know, she's just so full of hope and optimism and excitement right now. I mean a movie about cute animals and the magic of their friendship? Yes please! It's like they wrote this premise with perky alien redheads in mind! Everything is GREAT for the first minute or two. Then the slaughter begins. She brings up a hand to cover her mouth with a distraught look. It's not real but-!? ]

Oh X'hal...

[ So much blood, and then the color drains slowly from Star's face, and then she begins to turn an interesting shade of green... By the time the orgy starts that green has turned to red. All that popcorn and candy and mustard is abandoned in a heap on the floor as she flies (literally) out of her seat and out the doors back for a hasty escape.

If you didn't catch her in the theater before she bolted you'll probably find her outside of some back entrance or seated somewhere off to the side in the lobby- or in the nearest bathroom trying to catch her breath. She still sounds like she's struggling not to be sick. ]

Never before have I witnessed such violence and debauchery...!

I. (lobby)

S'cuse me, coming through... --ah, s-sorry...!!

[ Jaune is trying to manage holding two large buckets of popcorn, a large drink and some admission tickets. He's navigating his way through the busy crowd, bumping into everyone and even spilling bits and pieces of the popcorn each time he collides with another body. ]

Mannnn, I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late!!

II. (my petite equestrian experience)

[ Jaune had been sitting there, enduring the horrors as he shifts uncomfortably in his chair. He wasn't even enjoying his popcorn, he was only stuffing his mouth with food as a coping mechanism. Somehow it's less awkward that way, especially with the... imagery he was seeing. Is he imagining this person in the movie, or is it someone who just looks like them?!?

But he can't take this anymore. He was content with quietly holding it in the entire time, but enough is enough. With no volume filter, and as whiny as possible, he just blurts it out loud enough for everyone to hear it: ]

Ugghhhh, when are we gonna get back to the ponies?!? ~~[ He might be crying. Shit. ]~~

I. Lobby

[ A man with long flowing white hair with a bluish green tinge to it will be standing off in a corner of the lobby itself. His garb is reminiscent of those of a monk in feudal times. He doesn't look very happy, nor sad, nor anything. His expression mostly remains neutral as he looks around with discerning eyes. All of this is unfamiliar to him, naturally, having been alive only for a brief time to fully grasp and understand the meaning and names of things in this time period. There was much to catch up on and Kousetsu would do so in a leisurely, peaceful, manner. He was never one to act brashly after all. He was cherishing his time here, for however long it would last, and in doing so perhaps some peace will be attainable at last. When he finally does speak it's to ask a question. His voice is slow, soft and deep. ] Excuse me. But would you mind explaining some things about this place?

[ He is not in the know how, if his garments are anything to tell by. ]

II. Theater 4

[ If there is one thing Kousetsu cannot stand it is violence. His flurry of movements to leave the theater once the carnage begins is indicative to his own thoughts on the manner. His eyes are dark and his voice is laced with sorrow and anger. ] To show such violent acts being commited...is it not enough that we have lived through it as well?

[ Wasn't the point of movies to allow people to be free from worldly troubles? He does not see that being achieved here. It is horrible and unfair to promote such things, especially in the form of 'entertainment' he sees nothing entertaining about such things. Sorry if he bumps into you upon storming out of the theater. He is just so mad! Next time he will read the titles, if there ever is a next time, of course. ]

( lobby )

[ so when they said all that about the world being destroyed and all her loved ones killed with nothing to go back to, but hey at least you have the chance to save them here, kira didn't expect to end up in a theater. a really fancy theater.

she looks around at all the screens, the concessions, the robots, the... other people that may or may not be just like her; she's still wondering if this is all just some really messed up dream, which wouldn't be surprising considering everything that just happened in mexico. but, details.

clutching the strap of a bag that might be carrying a sword like a lifeline, kira shifts awkwardly from foot to foot, looking terribly out of place as she scans the crowd once again. eventually, she gives up, heading up to the first hopefully friendly person she sees. ]

Um, hey... [ cue an awkward smile and a vague wave ] sorry for bothering you! But could you maybe tell me about this place if you have time? Are these... are these movies free?

[ she looks a little stressed, fumbling around for her wallet. ]

I mean, I've only got like ten dollars? And my debit card. But... I don't think they take US dollars here, right?

[ her confidence seems to wane the longer she talks, until she just gives whoever she's talking to a sort of embarrassed grimace. ]

( wild card )

[ idk it's one a.m. and i can't think of anything else. go crazy kids. ]

Edited 2015-03-08 10:11 (UTC)

Theatre 5

[Near the back of the theatre, you might hear someone sniffling quietly from time to time.
That would be Canada.

His drink and popcorn forgotten, he is enjoying the movie ~~too much~~, and has a small pile of napkins on his lap that he's used as tissues.

When the scene turns into a personal memory he gasps, but watches it avidly with a smile.]

Ah, I remember that...

[Oh, sorry. He hopes that he hasn't disturbed you...]

Theater 1:

[Why she bothered with this is sort of beyond her, but when the show begins Rei is just a little bit unsure of what to make of it. Okay, so it's animated ponies. That's cute. It's extremely cute, and she's just managing to settle in when the carnage starts. She manages to get through that, and while she's not happy with it she wonders where it'll go from there. That's what keeps her there, anyway.

As soon as the...rest...of the movie starts though, Rei is too horrified to get up. Her face is probably visibly red even in the dim theater.]

What is this?! [A pause as she leans forward to look at someone in the background is followed by a shriek.] MINAKO-CHAN?! Is that you?! and...is that...ME?!

Theater IV

[Once Rei manages to escape her horror and revulsion from the first movie she ducks into another one to try and calm down. She's embarrassed and pissed off and about ready to start some violence of her own. The movie rather perfectly mirrors her mood, actually, though she'd never say anything so foul.

But when the added bits start being slipped in, Rei very much does start sweating and gripping the ends of her hair as she looks around in abject embarrassment. At one scene, where Jack McJack is in the middle of the climactic battle with the villain atop his dinosaur, she sees that moment. The only one she doesn't even want her friends to know about and she stands up and loses her cool for just a moment. She's normally pretty quiet, but this? Just sets her off!]

WHERE are you getting these scenes?! What the hell is going on with this theater?!

Theater III:

[After storming out of the other, Rei decides to try one more film. The alien one sounded fine...but when she gets in there she honestly finds herself just a little bit bored. She's not interested in this after having fought aliens herself (or magical monsters depending on your point of view), and it's not triggering her immediate sense of revulsion like the pony movie...so she figures that maybe it'll be just like any other stupid alien movie out there.

But then, when the world destruction portion of the evening starts, she starts and sits up with a very, very audible gasp. Was that? No! That wasn't possible! Usagi would protect the world with her power. But there she was...just the same as everyone else...]

That's impossible...that's just...it's not right. That can't happen...

Lobby

[After those thoroughly disturbing experiences she's had enough. She practically stalks out of the theaters, bristling like an angry tomcat, and woe be to anyone who bumps into her. Unfortunately? It's pretty crowded so that's kind of inevitable. Does the short teenager with the violet eyes just ram into you, or do you have the misfortune to bump into her in the press?

Alternatively, once she's through the crowd she's going to take a seat on a bench near the exit to just calm down. She looks visibly shaken, her reserved demeanor cracking just a bit as she hangs her head and looks very, very unhappy. Are you going to approach? Or just leave her there to be all sad and alone...]

Wild Card:

[Have another idea? Want to do something with Rei that isn't on the list? Hit me!]

IV:

[Watching movies isn't actually how Murasaki would choose to spend his free time normally. However, the chance to just sit and not be bothered for a couple of hours doesn't come up too often, so for now he can be okay in the theater.

He's not even really following the plot of the movie; having experienced and sometimes being a part of causing as much damage as they're showing on screen, there isn't very much going on to impress him.

Except, the scene on the screen looks a lot like the commercial set for that awful commercial he'd been forced to be in. Yep... yep, there's his partner Nice soaking up attention from any crew member that will pay attention to him.

And there's Murasaki, quietly, quietly seething, which just involves a lot of long-suffering sighs and resisting the urge to bury his face in his hands.

It's... well, it's certainly not fine, but it's acceptable when, in between scenes of lots of buildings blowing up, the screen decides to play the whole embarrassing commercial. He still cringes at his own very brief part. Making him pretend to be a part of a crime-fighting team. Ridiculous.

It's when the movie starts showing him being held back, yelling, while a blond idiot parades around a cafe with his stolen boot on his head that he has a problem.

Sorry, anyone behind him, but there's no way he's not standing up and leaning on the chair in front of him while staring at the screen.]

That is impossible.

Lobby:

[Unbelievable. You would think most of the people here had never had to sit through a terrible film before. Judging from the amount of people crowding the lobby though, that does seem to be the case.

He's not even sure why he's here. It had sounded like a bad idea, and he hadn't really wanted to come, and surprise, aside from terrible-sounding movies playing, it was just a mess. Running a hand through his hair, he looks around and sighs. It's not like he even has any candy or popcorn of his own, because that costs money and there is no way he is wasting money on junk food.]

This is a colossal waste of time.

[So, he'll be turning to go, and hopefully nobody was standing to close by as he is pretty determined to leave.]

Edited (typing is hard ):) 2015-03-08 17:39 (UTC)

v:

[Okay, just because he's willing to give this movie night thing a shot (the line around the block has to be a good sign, right?) doesn't mean he isn't going to cheat a little. Tommy uses his speed to duck in and out of the theaters, checking out snippets of each film before he decides to commit a whole two hours of his time to watching some CGIfest with a bunch of strangers.

Ponies? No thanks. Robots, alien invaders, and killer dinosaurs? Real life keeps him pretty covered on those fronts.

Out of options, he flops down in a seat in the last theater with little more than a sudden rush of air to announce his presence. In a grand display of patience, he makes it a whole thirty seconds before he starts fidgeting and shooting judgemental looks at the screen.]

Man, is this really what everyone here does for fun?

lobby:

[It doesn't take long to realize that people's reactions are a lot more entertaining than the movies themselves, and that's how Tommy ends up seated in the lobby, eating from an oversized tub of popcorn and watching for anyone who looks as done with this place as he is. The evening's a bust so far, but really, all it would take to turn things around is the right partner in crime.

He'll be friendly enough to anyone who approaches, but the grin he's sporting is the kind of sly that can't mean anything good.]

Had enough of this yet?

lobby

[ Honestly, he doesn't want to be here. There are too many people, almost all of them strangers and he stands out like a duck with the sword by his side and a cloak covering his head and shoulders, golden hair and green eyes barely visible underneath. Yamanbagiri Kunihiro probably looks like a creeper the way he's dressed, or someone without any fashion sense.

So here's to stepping away from the booths and the crowd and finding an exit out of this strange place. ]

theatre ii/iii/iv/v

[ Yet somehow he's still here... Most probably dragged by the person beside him, whoever they are. Heaving a long-suffering sigh, he drops his gaze to the floor, cloak lowering over his eyes as he pays no heed to the movie at all--it doesn't interest him, no matter what it shows.

He's more...concerned about whoever it is beside him, especially if they're watching it seriously and reacting negatively to it. ]

If you hate it so much, you can just leave.

[ In fact, he's going to stand and leave right this very moment. ]

[Theatre II]

[Seeing himself in a film isn't unfamiliar to Han. Even before Luke had introduced him to those strange ones from another universe, it had been long enough since the war that there are holos of varying accuracy.

It's a bit strange to see various old lovers on the screen. Though some of those other holos had played up his past. Usually not this accurately, but at the same time, they didn't mean what the later ones did.

Moments with Leia, well, those are common enough. Strange to see them interspersed, and on occasion a bit inappropriate. But he manages to stay seated until he sees her face among the dead. Then he's on his feet.]

That's quite enough of that.

[Lobby]

[After marching out of the theatre, Han can be found in the lobby, muttering about licensing. As if that mattered here.]

a; ticket booth

The 'Z' rated one looks promising... 'questionable morals', eh? I bet it's porn.

[With a far too broad smile, Azamat was looking up at the various choices with a critical eye. These ratings were pure gibberish to him, but considering how Cerealia was (wonderfully, he might add) geared towards the carnal and inappropriate, he was going to take a wild guess and presume that most, if not all, was going to either be gory or porny or, hopefully, both]

Oh, but what if they try to do a fake out! It'll obviously be 'My Petite Equestrian Experience!' But that'll be bold of 'em, tossing in some bestiality like that...

[This man is clearly disturbed]

b; Theatre V

[He had chosen unwisely.

Instead of a movie that he imagined to be a porny rendition of 'Hills Have Eyes', he was greeted with a puke-worthy, feel good film that made him want to shrivel up in his seat. This was something his sister would torment him with, if she could have stomached in knowing she ordered its production. It was a little disorientating though, seeing all his happy memories spliced between the squeaky clean goodness of the film. They were, er, inappropriate for this type of setting]

Damn it, where's the porn!?

[Beyond frustrated, Azamat threw his bag of popcorn towards the screen. Popcorn sailed everywhere, scattering over the seats before him in a mad, sticky toffee flurry. He only realised his folly a split second later when he was smacked upside the head by a wooden paddle, its wielder a filthy mouthed robot calling him, of all things, a dirty slut! Well, how rude!]

Gah! Hey! Paddling isn't free! [Launching from his seat, Azamat picked up the robot with a war cry, holding it over his head in a show of inhuman strength, the poor robot ineffectively brandishing its paddle to the ceiling] Take this you friggin' PG-fiiiiiiiiiilm~!

[And like the popcorn, the robot followed suit. Those sitting in the front row, please duck]

Lobby

[The world of film never held much interest for the Golden Witch. Raised on a steady diet of detective and mystery novels, she simply preferred to read about grisly murders and the valiant detectives who brought their perpetrators to justice in the safe confines of her room. Where she could imagine for herself in vivid detail each gruesome death, closed room, and the finger pointing that would ultimately lead to answer the question of "whodunit."

But if her gracious host was so willing to provide a more visual brand of entertainment, who was she to refuse? Unable to choose from amongst the rather odd names displayed throughout the theater, she instead let her magic do the talking and set about her person a swarm of golden butterflies that swirled about in seemingly random directions before finally settling on a poster for the film currently playing in theater 2.]

"Oh? This seems interesssting enough."

[Dressed in her usual finery, Beatrice looked far to over dressed to simply be visiting the theater. But it seemed to bother her not a single bit as she dismissed her golden familiars and made her way with some grace to the theater where she would be spending the afternoon.]

Theater 2

[This had not been what she was expecting. In fact, it was far far far worse then anything even her despicable brain could concoct! What a waste of perfectly good violence it was, lacking in any rhyme or reason that so many people had died. There was not thought here to death. Only gratuity for its own sake and a spectacle for those to dumb to know any better.]

What tripe! I could write a better film with my hands tied behind my back.

[It was only when the senseless plot gave way to split second views of a boy with red hair that Beato's cries of outrage gave way to a quiet and sullen mood that dominated her face in places that pure anger had once been. Neither speaking nor moving about, she only sighed with her eyes fixed firmly to the floor below her seat. Depressing to a fault, they reminded the witch far to much of just what she had left behind.

Edited 2015-03-08 21:47 (UTC)

a; concession stand
[The Wonders of Thedas - and Anders isn't just talking about the shop - is nothing compared to this. At the voice's urging, he had made his way to the tightly packed stand, and spent a considerable amount of time slack jawed at the many unfamiliar treats and sweets. The technology in this place was beyond impressive, and he wondered what magic powered it.]

Maker...

[One of the more impatient people in line shoves at him and makes a comment about getting a move on. He orders a few boxes of wittily named, colorful boxes of treats, and settles for an unknown drink when the robot working the stand informs him ale isn't an option.

The cup he's offered is far larger - and softer, almost like a leather canteen - than anything he's accostumed to. He opens the lid to sniff at the drink, which unfortunately smells non-acoholic, and apparently deeming it safe, takes a sip. That's when he spits a mouthful of carbonation all over you - yes you! Sorry, bro. No hard feelings.]

What in Andraste's name is that?

b; theatre i
[Armed with popcorn and the sugary drink he's learned tastes nothing like beer, Anders is ready for some moving pictures. He's still not used to them and convinced it must be some kind of magic propelling it, but that makes it all the more wonderful. It's as if being surrounded by magic, and isn't that a novel thought?

Everything in this world is so new, including certain movie going etiquette. Guess who's gonna be talking during the entire movie? Live shows in Thedas don't exactly have a fourth wall. Or consideration for the rest of the audience. He nudges you with his elbow, staring suspiciously at the silent audience.]

Is nobody else surprised by the talking ponies?

c; theatre i, cont
[After being told to shut up repeatedly in the first few minutes, Anders finds himself caught up in the surprisingly moving story of friendship between horses. He finds himself smiling, moved, eased by the wonderful message of hope. And then. The ponies die.]

Oh, was that necessary?

[In the true spirit of audience-driven entertainment, Anders starts throwing popcorn and candy at the screen. Watch out for your head.]

d; theatre i, cont...again
[But he keeps watching. Some morbid interest propelling him on, probably. And what a treat it is that he stayed. He settles in more snugly, crossing one knee over the other and popping some of the fluffed corn into his mouth.]

This is better than some of the Orlesian peep shows I've seen!

[And sit through the horror he does. It starts with seeing a flicker of his face, but he dismisses it as a trick of his eye. Then he sees his mother's face and his body goes still. He'd almost forgotten the features of his parents' faces, of young apprentices he'd kissed and tumbled with in the Circle. Those memories were among the only ones that remained remotely innocent, and the longer it goes on, the tenser he comes. It only takes a flicker of what looks like Karl's beard to make him bolt up from his seat, and if that's not enough to ruin your orgy-enjoying experience, he addresses the entire theatre.]

What kind of trick is this?

e; theatre v
[Anders may not be the man he once was, but he still wouldn't pass up anything titled Yard-door People of Questionable Morals. He's excited for what he hopes will be saucy entertainment, but it's short lived. The second he steps into the theatre, the robots raise their paddles and immediately charge at him before he can sit down, apparently deeming his ragged coat as filth.

Unfortunately for the theatre, Anders isn't the most defenseless of patrons. He instinctively releases a fireball on one of the robots, instantly realising that his balls aren't as fiery as he's used to them being. Or bigger, for that matter. Anyway, there's an outbreak of robots vs humans and the angst over the limitation of his magic (and his eventual incarceration) can come later.]

f; wild card!
[got another idea? hmu]

ticket booth

[Astrid's been struggling with all the weird new things Cerealia has to offer, but this... this was pretty out there.

Paintings that weren't actually paintings that moved? How did that even work?

But her curiosity got the best of her, so here she is, milling between the screens and trying to decide which one would be the most ~~violent~~ interesting.

Help her out?]

lobby

[ Movies sound to her like plays, and plays are... not her sort of thing. So she stands at the snack stand, peering curiously at the food on display. A lot of people around are eating it, so it must be tasty? If it's sweet like candy, she wants it. Turning around, Gracia spots a convenient person and points her finger rather rudely. ]

You there! What is this? Is this sweet? Tell me!

theater v

[ So maybe movies are kind of nice, after all. The way these people work together make her think of her comrades. What a nice group of people...!

But her attention's drawn away from the screen when she hears some kind of noise. There's a robot attacking a person?! This will not do! Standing up, Gracia walks forward and--a sudden fireball interrupts whatever is happening, throwing the robot into a wall...

With concern, Gracia looks the other person over. ]

Are you okay?

[ a. lobby ]

[ so, movies! honey lemon has a hankering for a good flick. maybe something with adventure, a little romance, a kickass female scientist...but she's just excited to see anything, really. she hasn't heard of any of these movies before, so it's anyone's guess what she might be getting into! and that's okay. it'll be fun to be surprised!

not that that makes picking any easier. ]

Let's see...'My Petite Equestrian Experience'? Sounds sooooo cute! Maybe...but 'Decease Harder II' might be a little more action-packed...hmm...

[ CHOICES ARE HARD. give a girl a hand in picking a (terrible) movie to watch? she'll even ask! ]

Oh - excuse me! Have you seen of these movies before? I can't decide what to see!

[ b. theater iv. ]

[ action won!! she's got this huge tub of popcorn to eat, so she figures she better pair it with a popcorn flick.

...it takes about ten seconds before she drops that tub of popcorn and covers her eyes with her hands. gee, that was violent! and that's how she stays for awhile, curled up in her seat, until she hears the sound of the movie shift dramatically into something very different - and all too familiar.

she peeks between her fingers, only to see her younger self on the screen! in junior high science class, no less, on the day when she...

oh, no. not that day. not the day she started her sweater on fire with the bunsen burner, and everyone...everyone saw her...bra!

her hands cover her mouth then, cheeks positively blazing as she glances at the rest of the theater. why aren't they looking at her? have they not noticed it's her yet? maybe she'll just...shrink down in her seat until she doesn't exist anymore.

she definitely picked the wrong movie. ]

theater iii

[Team up movies are typically good, but this one was...unlike any group he had seen. He can roll with it, and he does.

But the death and destruction began, and the images of his home, his friends and family intertwine with the movie.

...It's probably obvious that's a bit much for him, giving by how restless he's getting in his seat.]

theater iv

[Tadashi was as much of a fan of a good action film as the next guy, but this one was a little....crude?

What was with the velociraptor anyway? It was interesting, at least, but maybe not in the way it was going for.

You might finding him chuckling at the ridiculousness between bites of popcorn, or maybe you stumble across him with his face in his hands as every horrible mishap from his years building and experimenting starts appearing on the screen for him.]

A: Lobby

[ Why is it so difficult to get himself a bottle of plain water? This person on the counter keeps trying to persuade him into buying all sorts of junk food and drinks he wouldn't waste his credit on for the past minute or two. ]

No, I'll have a bottle of water. [ For the fourth time...

Could you be the counter person trying their hardest to earn some much needed extra sales commission to survive this week or the unfortunate person behind the line waiting to get your popcorn combo for the movie you're going to be late to? Whoever you are, this is getting a little frustrating over a bottle of water, isn't it? ]

B: Theater II

[ A movie that he picked out to spend his two hours of downtime turns out to be a fluke of horribly written script that wouldn't even fool a Haro if it tried. The only reason he chose this title was due to his curiosity about robot-human relationship but just ten minutes into the movie, Tieria is already regretting the choice he made 0020 minutes ago. As if that's not enough, he also catches a corpse that looks eerily similar to Neil and decides on that moment that he's done with this movie.

Between the incomprehensible plot and anger rising from his gut over the clear misuse of his memory, he huffs silently and gets up to leave the cinema. Never mind that his seat is smacked right in the middle of the row too. He's leaving whether you're scooting inward to give him space or not. If not, enjoy having him accidentally stepping on your foot while he makes his way out. He's not apologizing either, it's not his problem if you're incapable of making minor adjustment to your seating arrangement to let him get pass you in less than several short seconds. ]

Edited 2015-03-09 07:27 (UTC)

Option I:

[Even without the initial culture shock of waking up inside of a new world, attending the cinema was not something Sidney particularly cared for.

Still, where was the harm in it? In his busy life between sleuthing and running a vicarage, he never much had opportunity for anything one might consider 'fun'. And after all, it was free...

So he procured his ticket to the least offensive, if not most juvenile of the films: My Petite Equestrian Experience.

... Was this not supposed to be a children's movie? He gazed upon the screen in terrified awe, his mouth agape. Never had he viewed such indecency in his life.

Oh god. That most certainly couldn't be him, could it? Was that...]

Amanda?

[Oh please, oh please. Someone awake him from this trickery.]

Option II: Wildcard

[In the lobby, you may stumble across one mortified individual dressed in clerical robes mulling about. No amount of sweet talking will make him set foot back into the actual theater.]

Edited 2015-03-09 18:12 (UTC)

[lobby]

[Unfortunately for people who actually want to walk through this area, a certain small chef seems like he just can't make any decisions right now!
He's got his eyes on the various screens, watching the advertisements for the movies flicker by and giving them a pretty stern look.]

Really! Of all the genres they could offer at such a high tech movie theater, they completely forget any romantic films!
What a waste of a trip...

[concession stand]

[Speaking of this weird little guy standing around in places that aren't actually the movies, he's easy to catch in front of the concession stand - probably because he's loudly dismissing every single snack offered as he looks through them.]

No, no... I can't watch a movie without some real food to enjoy with it! I suppose popcorn is always the best thing to fall back on, if the corn is a high enough quality...
Really, it's not so hard to make your own, higher quality potato chips or candy and show your customers some love...!

Ticket Booth

[ Well this was... strange.

Asbel stands in front of the ticket booth, a little awkwardly at that. He's even seen anything like this. Well, besides the weird machines Pascal was always working with and the only slight resemblance from Fodra. Still, it was new and strange and something the boy couldn't quite understand. But he was suppose to pick one of these to watch, right?

Maybe he should ask for suggestions... ]

Hey, uh, have you seen any of these before?

[ Striking up casual conversation!? Please don't tell him he's the only one out of the loop here. ]

Theatre I

[ Alright, so Asbel finally decides on a movie to watch!! Really, he wasn't into these types of things (they're for girls, right?) but being the responsible person that he was, he had to made sure this was something he could bring his friends back to see, especially Sophie.

... However, not even fifteen minutes into the film and Asbel was already regretting his Life Decisions. ]

Wh... what is this!? [ Alarmed and embarrassed, the boy watches with horror filled eyes as images from his past is overlapped by these- these sounds!?

Nope. Nope. He's not going to do this to himself anymore, so excuse him if he just so happens to bump into you while trying to scurry out of the room. ]

Oops, sorry about that-!

Wildcard

[ Anything could go here- have at it! ]

THE LOBBY

[Like the other new arrivals, Blackquill has had to contend with the devastating news that his world was gone, and to deal with the culture shock of being in this strange new virtual world. His shock was of an entirely different sort to most, however. He wasn't shocked by the robots: basic artificial intelligence was a normal part of life for him, when he knew robots created by his sister that, after a fashion, were treated like her children and members of the family.

What does throw him off is being fresh out of seven years of prison. Seven years, and he feels like he has forgotten how to behave around ordinary people. The noise, lights, and activity of the place all overwhelm him. He'll pick a movie and go in eventually, but for now, he simply sits and gives himself time to adjust.

Feel free to notice the intimidatingly tall man in harsh monochrome, dressed not unlike a samurai, looking very out of place.]

THEATRE V

[The movie is as vapid as Blackquill had hoped it would be, and he's taking the tedious feel-good nonsense as a chance to simply tune out and relax. When the movie changes and starts showing some of his own happy memories, though, he glances around, wondering if anyone is seeing the same thing. Then, deeply uncomfortable at being shown memories from a very distant past, he gets up to leave.

...Right up until he gets to the aisle and bumps into another movie-goer, spilling their popcorn to the ground, and one of those militantly kinky robots zips straight over.]

GET DOWN ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES, NAUGHTY BOY. YOU NEED TO BE PUNISHED.

Out of the way, you absurd machine, else my blade will cut you down where you stand.

[...For all that he's adopting a combat stance, he doesn't seem to be holding a sword. Or any other kind of weapon, for that matter...?]

Theater I

[Did. Did the characters just all die? Is this just sex now? Good thing *Mute didn't see herself on screen yet, or she'd be liable to flip out.]

Like... Wow. This is fucked up, in pretty much every way conceivable. No pun intended, either. Seriously, what the hell.

[She said, pulling out a cigarette and lighter in the middle of the theater. Jeez, smoking in a theater. Do you stop her???]

Theater II

[Take two. Having theater hopped into another film, *Mute is sitting there in her suit, with her eyepatch and all.]

Well, strictly speaking, this is better than the other movie. The robot's a bit over emotional, but hey, I guess he was designed that way. I can relate with this. How about you?

[Gosh she talks in theaters like she just don't care...]

Theater IV

[OK, having finished one movie at least, she still is going ahead and theater hopping into another one. Albeit, this time she's been told to not just boldly talk in a theater.]

You cannot break a pipe like that. I don't care how strong he is, it was not that old or damaged. You'd have to be superhuman. Assuming it's mild steel, at an exterior diameter of 2 inches it would--you know what, no. This movie is just dumb.

Threaded | Flat

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rosalina nurumi; oc

spain | hetalia

Starfire 🌟 Teen Titans

Jaune Arc | RWBY