//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]
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(lobby) but laughing at spain punching the robot tbh
[because the line has stopped. and England is stuck. he's even got a mug of tea for the occasion and it's getting cold. though why he is going to see movies he just knows will be bad is an utter mystery. maybe he just really feels like critiquing something today.
he finally huffs and leaves the line, marching right up to whoever's stalling it]
Are you listening, dimwit?
things i didnt even know i needed to cross off my bucket list until now
( The easy way to describe it was a like a fly but no... this was clearly worse. )
no subject
England's irritation all but skyrockets when he realizes that it's Spain standing there. he almost crushes the mug in his hand he's so angry]
Don't ignore me, you git! What the hell are you doing here?
no subject
If he had greater patience and was more of a troll, he could keep ignoring England until the end of his days but alas, he never did learn how to back away from a battle. There's a whine and he waves at England dismissively, )
Aaaay, Inglaterra, have you been drinking in public again? You're making a scene. ( Shaking his head like he has some sort of moral high ground here. Spoilers, he doesn't. He just likes to think he does. ) Perhaps you should call a cab.
Actually, even if you're not drunk, you should call a cab. ( Nodding his head now, ) Sí... I don't care how you leave.
( What an asshole. Look at that smug passive aggressive asshole grin on his. HE'S JUST PLAYING AROUND in that jerkish way. )
no subject
I'm not the one holding up the line! The rest of the world doesn't go through life in slow-motion like you, so move your arse, pick a theater, and get inside.
no subject
Yeah? You can't tell me how to act in line when you just skipped everyone and you're holding up the line now too!
( HMPH, )
You know, you should really apologize to everyone for being so rude. ( And in his most posh English accent, he clearly (and poorly) tries to mimic England, ) "Oh, ¡no! Forgive me. I am England and I feel bad. Bad England."
no subject
for now, he twitches when Spain says that he's causing a problem. no, England was trying to fix the problem. get it right, Spain. gosh]
Just pick a bloody movie already!
[oh. he yelled. oops. that sure did cause a scene]
no subject
( England, you're making this too easy for Spain and he really can't help but laugh at the rise he got. Winning the most trivial of battles in a rival war... yes. Content, he'll slap England on the back perhaps (definitely) a lot harder than what's socially acceptable. )
Hmm... let's go see the second one!
( Did he just invite England to the movies yes this is the kingdom of spain and he does what he wants when he wants how he wants )
no subject
he's in the process of hiding his face in his hands when Spain slaps him and then he stumbles! fortunately England catches himself before he topples over]
Fine, fine! Let's just move... [England isn't even going to argue with that, man. he just wants to get away from all these people staring at him. and maybe going to the movies with your rival is better than going to the movies alone whatever]
no subject
Large Adventurer 7, eh? Haha, what kind of name is that supposed to be?
( England better have brought his own snacks because Spain might have extended the invitation, he sure as heck isn't sharing his candy. Okay lets get these seats and watch this movie it can't be that bad. Actually, it will be but just not bad in the way they'd expected it to be. )
no subject
I can't put my finger on it, but the name sounds kind of familiar. [he takes his seat and sighs in exasperation. his life...]
no subject
The kid’s acting is pretty great! He’s young and innocent but he’s still been through so much. The robot is pretty cool too. I didn’t even know robots could cry.
( And more rambling commentary up until he starts to catch things on the screen.
He’s a shameless Romantic. Seeing his past replay on the big screen isn’t exactly embarrassing. It’s a lot of France, to be honest but find a nation in western Europe who didn’t have one first or another with France. Okay and… there are more memories and the scenes are starting to switch back to the river and this is getting really disturbing.
His commentary, by now, has practically stopped but he isn’t going to let a dumb movie get him down, especially next to the gloomiest guy in the world. )
What an awful movie.
no subject
for another, they both seem to like to critique what they are watching. regular Siskel and Ebert, over here.
England mentions that he's so sick of robots. damn things are everywhere on this colony.
and then there's the first memory. it's an old one, something England had forgotten in his lengthy history (he can't be expected to remember something that happened maybe 700 years ago!), and his whole face turns bright red. that was... what the hell?!]
How does this movie know about that?!
no subject
Spain replies that he can understand England being sick of robots but they still do look pretty cool. He jumps and might have thrown some candy at England because of that little outburst, )
Ay, keep it down! Some people are trying to watch the movie!
no subject
Come on, we're leaving!
[yeah, right, England. like Spain would really go with you]
no subject
I bet you've done worse before!
( YOU DON'T GET TO JUDGE HIM, BROWS. )
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Like you can say anything! I'm not like you!
[so. they're causing a scene again...]