//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[faithfulflame]

[The upset girl looks up and frowns. A stranger. But...she'd guess he's got an idea already of the problem. And there's no reason to hide that at least.]

Did you see any of those movies?

[bewrightback]

[He gives a nod, looking a bit bothered just remembering them.]

Yes, and I'm not exactly looking forward to any sequels...

[faithfulflame]

[She huffs out a weak laugh and shakes her head.]

I think I'll just be avoiding any movies here anymore. But which one did you go to?

[bewrightback]

That's a sound strategy. We tried... "My Petite Equestrian Experience"... [He lets it hang there for a moment before he defensively adds.] It was for my daughter! ...Of course, that only made what happened even worse.

[faithfulflame]

Daughter? [Her eyes widen a bit at that bit of information. He had a daughter. Of course he did, why else would a grown man go to see animated ponies? Of course this place would do something like that. Because that was just as messed up as, well, what she’d seen Motoki doing to Ami in that screen.

A memory that make her face turn completely scarlet at that.] Oh…oh my goodness. Did she...see? Is she okay?

[bewrightback]

She... saw just a little. And then I got the her right out of there. [He shook his head.]

It was very unsettling, but she'll be alright.

[faithfulflame]

I...can imagine. I'm still trying to not get sick myself.

[Seriously...she didn't want to see any of that.]

The other movies are as bad, just...as a warning.

[bewrightback]

Some family movie night this is turning out to be...

Are you sure there's no normal movie in the whole bunch?

[faithfulflame]

Seriously...

[She shakes her own head and balls up a fist.]

Not a one. The action movie...is embarrassing on top of being bad. And the alien one? I...don't think it's a good one for a child. Or an adult. It shows your home being...well...invaded.

[bewrightback]

[I'm guessing this isn't the kind of home invasion that certain spirit mediums conduct to eat through one's fridge...]

That doesn't sound very pleasant at all. [He frowns and shakes his head- especially when they just received news of their own planets being destroyed.] But thanks for the warning. At least now you can make sure others don't end up watching the same things.

good catch

[faithfulflame]

[Rei nods slowly, unhappily. But speaking of spirit mediums...she's not dressed that differently from Maya save colors.]

I don't want anyone else to deal with that, sir. Especially not a little girl.

[Good dad vibes are hard for Rei, given her own past, but you seem pretty alright, Phoenix.]

This place is bad enough.

i didn't even realize...

[bewrightback]

[He tries his best at dadding. And now that some of that movie stuff has been settled, he can't help but notice how similar her clothes look.]

I fully agree with that sentiment. If what we've been told is true, the last thing we need is more trauma on top of it.

...But, um, do you mind if I ask you something unrelated?

i meant htmlfail

[faithfulflame]

[She quirks a brow at him. Curious? What could he have to ask? Because she'd never seen him before, and what business could they have besides maybe Smalltalk.]

No, I don't mind. But I may not answer if I think it's rude.

OH that catch well thank you... it helps to actually look at what I posted before xing out

[bewrightback]

That's fair enough! [He says with a sheepish smile.] I just couldn't help but notice your attire, so I'm wondering... do you happen to be a spirit medium, or one in training?

[faithfulflame]

Oh? Is that all? [Well not what she expected, but it does make her look down. She'd taken to wearing her miko robes more often here. They were familiar and comfortable. But...definitely not a normal thing.]

I'm...well no. Not a spirit medium, not entirely. I'm a miko. A priest. I do some things a medium does, but it's not the focus of my duties. At least...was the focus. Not here.

[bewrightback]

Yeah, that's all! That's still interesting. I'm just asking because I've known a few spirit mediums in the past, and there's no way of telling without asking if you know any spirit channeling technique.

Work ate me

[faithfulflame]

Oh. Well, I know a bit. But my...um...powers? Aren't really spirit channeling. I can, but I'm better at binding them. And other things. Fortune-telling, especially.

Sounds rough buddy

[bewrightback]

Binding, huh? [He taps his chin curiously.] I can't say I've ever seen that done before... just plain old classic Kurain channeling.

Fortune telling's always seemed pretty neat, too! I never tried it before.

A wee bit. But that's government for you.

[faithfulflame]

There's not a lot of call for it most times, I expect. But it's a bit like exorcism. Though when a channeling goes wrong, it's a useful skill.

[Rei laughs and leans forward, her bad mood clearly fading a bit by talking to someone who seemed genuinely interested in her work.]

Give me your hand, and I'll do a palm reading for you then.

[bewrightback]

You don't say. I did hear about a 'spirit severing technique' once, but I never saw it in action... I wonder if that's similar.

[She's cheering up! That's good. He does smile back at her offer and hesitantly offers out his hand.]

As for that palm reading... if you're okay with doing it, sure! Is this like a free sample?

Anything specific she should see?

[faithfulflame]

Maybe so. It's more or less just removing a spirit from a body.

[She takes it with a nod.]

It's no trouble. [It's just palmistry, which isn't her preferred method, but it'll work for a demonstration. She deliberately runs her finger along the long line of his palm.]

Alright, this? This says you're going to live a long life. It's the Life-line, if you want to think that way.

He's from the latest possible canon point sothere's nothing specific!

[bewrightback]

[He nods thoughtfully.]

That's a relief. [And he gives a light-hearted smile.] As long as it's not called a death-line, I think I'm off to a good start! [He laughs a little at his own joke.]

Alright!

[faithfulflame]

Hah, well no, it isn't.

[She runs a finger along more lines on his palm before looking up at him.]

I think...maybe you should avoid eating hamburgers for a while, sir. I'm seeing a little something about possible food illnesses, and a cow. Unless you eat a lot of steak...

[bewrightback]

[Somehow I don't think that high-stakes trials count...]

Maybe I have had a few too many steak dinners lately... I mostly eat burgers when I'm in a nostalgic mood. I guess I'll have to cut down. Thanks for the warning?

[faithfulflame]

[Mental Rei punches Mental Phoenix for that one.]

Sure. Now...next.

[She moves to another line and gasps! It's a kind of excited one, too.]