//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[kicksilver]

Not using it. [ He shakes his head as he shrugs. ] Mercury's just fine, alright? It sounds weird if you say "Mercury-san". You can call me by my full name too, if you'd prefer that. Mercury Black.

[ Finger guns.

And as they approach the food stall with the milkshake bars and whatnot, he pulls up a chair for Rei. ]

As for the names, it's serious stuff. Parents started naming their kids after colours as a movement for artistic freedom. Blah blah, boring history stuff.

[faithfulflame]

I will not call you just by your first name. [She frowns.] But Mercury Black is alright.

[She inclines her head and takes a seat as he offers it, though, as it is gentlemanly.]

And I don’t think history is boring. Was art restricted in some way?

[kicksilver]

Like I said, boring history blah blah blah.

[ He waves a hand dismissively because he doesn't want to talk about it. ]

So, what'll you have? I think I have to line up at the counter.

[faithfulflame]

[Strange man...]

Chocolate, if you don't mind.

[kicksilver]

With whipped cream?

[faithfulflame]

Please. [A beat. and thank you.

[kicksilver]

Alright.

[ And off he goes to the counter to order. He comes back later, with a number which he puts on their table. ]

They'll serve the milkshakes soon.

[faithfulflame]

[Rei nods her head and turns to face the man. He's being quite kind, but also a little offputting at the same time.]

You didn't need to do all that you know. Since I'm a stranger and all.

[kicksilver]

You looked upset.

[ He rests his elbows on the table and then his chin on his palms. ]

What was I supposed to do?

[faithfulflame]

Most people would have left me be.

[She does the same, resting her chin on one hand.]

[kicksilver]

I'm hurt you think I'm most people.

[faithfulflame]

And why should I think you’re different from the outset? I know your name now, and I know you’re kind, and sarcastic. What else do I know?

[Note: her tone is fairly wry, amused even.]

[kicksilver]

Huh.

[ He shrugs his shoulders. ]

You got me stumped there, Rei.

[faithfulflame]

Exactly my point. I'm pleasantly surprised, all the same.

[kicksilver]

Trying to think of something that's special about me.

[ A very loud and long "hmm." ]

Nope. Can't think of anything. I'm so lame.

[faithfulflame]

[Okay, she laughs a little about that.]

And what is it you do, exactly, Mercury Black?

[kicksilver]

[ Steal, kill people, bad stuff... Oh, but why would he tell her that? ]

I'm a student at Haven Academy. It's a school for aspiring hunters and huntresses.

[faithfulflame]

Still a student?

[She smiles, not really sure what he means but she'll get around to that.]

High school?

[kicksilver]

What exactly is high school?

Where I'm from, once you graduate, you're a full-on Hunter.

[faithfulflame]

It’s school for teenagers, really.

[Well that’s different. But he looks young ]

What does a Hunter do, exactly?

[kicksilver]

[ Cocks his head to the side and lets out a soft and bored-sounding "eh." ]

Upholders of peace, basically. There's some beasts at home called Grimm, who's basically creatures of destruction.

[faithfulflame]

Ahhh...

[That doesn't get a really weirded out reaction from her. She seems a little nonchalant if anything.]

And you fight them then?

[kicksilver]

Yuuuuup.

Well, we don't usually do it often, since we actually study. We only get sent out to get the Grimm during very dire situations.

[faithfulflame]

And are you the studious type? Or do you prefer these dire situations?

[kicksilver]

I won't answer those questions, but I'll tell you this: I love exciting things.