ioculus | //TESTDRIVE9.0.EXE

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!test drive

//TESTDRIVE9.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE9.0.EXE

Hey there! Did you know that yearly check-ups are the best preventative medicine you can give to your darling CYbuddy? Their health is of the utmost importance and from the Pomeranian to the Velociraptor, it's so very necessary to give your CYbuddy what he or she needs to be as happy and healthy as can be. After all, CYbuddies are the first and last defense in the war against loneliness, so you must do your best to protect the ones you have! You wouldn't want to be a friendless CYbuddy-less loser, would you? Through thick and thin, rain or shine, your CYbuddy will love you forever. And ever. And ever. Do not disappoint your CYbuddy.

You blink and suddenly find yourself in what looks like a doctor's waiting room, completely alone aside from the robot receptionist. Posters line the walls in various degrees of friendliness. Actually, is this the vet? It kind of looks like the vet. In fact, when you look down towards your lap, there will be a creature snoozing comfortably on you. Really, how did you not notice? The creature's collar names him Fluffy. (That's a dumb name, why did you name your pet Fluffy? Be more creative!) If you decide to call out to the receptionist, they will ignore you, but soon after you will hear clacking of sharp nails on the floor as someone -- or something -- comes out of the back room.

No worries, it's just the doctor.

Greetings! My name is Thelonious T-Bone the Third and I will be Fluffy's doctor today. I will take good care of your dear Fluffy and be right back to you with him or her in a jiffy. You can, of course, completely trust me for I am the best in the business! No other Velociraptor can treat and heal pets as well as I, most certainly. But there is one tiny little thing, you see. My nurse is out sick today and my hands are too small and dangerous to work well without accidentally killing your poor pet. So, to make up for this, I will need you to be my nurse today. Do you think you can handle that?

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I

[ 0900 ] Welcome to ViViD's state of the art pet care simulator. It looks like everyone is ready and willing to get started -- maybe a little too eager to get started. There seems to have been a minor misunderstanding actually and Dr. T-Bone seems to think that... well, that you're the pet. Didn't he see Fluffy's collar? (Still, such a dumb name!)

If you don't think fast, you're likely to be shoved into a kennel or forced into getting really uncomfortable shots (to prevent rabies, you see; side effects include dizziness, nausea, sprouting animal ears for a few hours and the increased desire to bite people). At least you'll have company since it looks like this mistake is happening to everyone. Might as well get cozy and get to know the people stuck in the kennels next to you while you're here.

PHASE II

[ 1200 ] It's time to actually be the nurse! And time to treat one of Dr. T-Bone's most prominent clients. You will be led to, well, a dinosaur -- a T-Rex to be exact. And you will be told that your job is to take care of its teeth.

That's right. Someone has to clean all of those teeth. And it looks like you're the lucky sap who got the job. Don't worry, the Tyrannosaurus Rex's name tag proclaims it to be vegan (and to go by the name of Sir Gadzooks) so it should be perfectly safe to reach into that gaping maw and start cleaning those teeth.

Alternatively, you could make your dental assistant do it; looks like you weren't the only one to get dragged into this farce. The question is, which one is handling the sharp pointy objects, and which one is sticking their hand into that mouth?

Also, it's not really a vegan dinosaur, that was a great big lie. And it's very, very hungry -- now might be a good time to run.

PHASE III

[ 1300 ] Hope you weren't doing anything important (like sticking your hand into the mouth of a dinosaur), because someone is now throwing a blindfold over your eyes and hustling you right into the basement. A couple of twists and turns later, and you're being shoved into what appears to be an underground... peacock fighting ring? With a jaunty peacock headband on and none of your weapons on you, it seems as though you've been mistaken for a particularly ugly peacock and have been tossed into the ring.

Look out though. Those peacocks look mean. They'll go straight for the eyes if they get the chance, and will peck away merrily at your head. Of course, the walls aren't that high all things considered (they're peacocks), so it probably wouldn't be that hard to escape the ring.

(Or, if you manage to find your way down there yourself, you can always join in on the ludicrously outlandish betting pool. It might be a good way to get some cash -- if you bet on the right peacock.

Actually, is that Mr. T-Bone in the crowd too? Someone get the quack out of here!)

PHASE IV

[ 1600 ] There's someone whispering.

It's a quiet, throaty whisper, and no matter where you are in the ViViD level, you can hear it. Sometimes, it's clearer than others. Sometimes, it can barely be heard at all. But it's always there, whispering, "Come closer. Come closer. Come closer."

If you should gather up your courage and follow those whispers, they will lead you to a... bird. Upon seeing you, the bird will begin to speak again in that throaty whisper, this time detailing the destruction of your world, down to the tiniest of details, such as the look on your best friend's face as they died, or the last words of your most important person. It's almost hypnotic, so much so that you can't pull away --

And just like that, the bird squawks, and it's over. What was that about? Hopefully nobody else heard all of that.

BONUS

[ xxxx ] You go to speak with the vet, whether to complain about your treatment at the hands of the others, the fact that you had to play dino dentistry or to let him know that there's an illegal peacock fighting ring below his practice, and before you know it there's talk of "just to be safe" and "you never know what someone with an attitude like that will do" -- which, what? All of a sudden Dr. T-Bone and his receptionist are shoving you into a cone of shame. How embarrassing! And no matter what you do, it just won't come off.

In fact, if nothing else, it seems magnetically attracted to the walls and anyone else wearing one. If one of those poor fools happen to be within a ten foot radius of you, prepare yourselves for a massive collision. What a pain, right? It seems like the cones won't come off until you (and your magnetic partner) get out of this confounded level. If only you could find the exit (and Fluffy too -- where'd he get off to?)

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme! ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's Ninth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Threaded | Flat

⊲⊲⊲ phase one

[ Someone doesn't seem to be pleased with the situation, especially when she's grabbed and nearly forced to get shots. In fact, she's trying to wriggle her way out to no avail, completely frustrated as she tries. ]

go!

[ ... But she's not able to, considering that she's a small, petite, frail girl. Send help? ]

⊲⊲⊲ phase four

[ She doesn't seem to flinch at the bird's prophetic words as she listens, emptiness in her eyes as she spits that out with disgust before it's done, letting out a frustrated huff as she whips her head angrily. ]

⊲⊲⊲ wildcard

[ Something else you want to play out that don't fall into these two prompts? Hit me up! ]

▶ phase i
[ The consequences are only if you don't think fast, but Akane is quick on her feet, and is quick to think. Sorry, Dr. T-Bone. As scary as you may look, she is backhanding you and tying you to a pole nearby to help the other people stuck in the kennels.

Akane Tsunemori is an Inspector; one who manages Enforcers. Enforcers, on the other hand, are trash, as regarded by society. Their only use now is to serve as hunting dogs for the Inspectors. But… Akane surely didn't expect Enforcers, let alone civilians to be put in kennels and treated like actual animals.

To the nearest person inside a kennel, she leans over and says: ]

Please remain calm, [ She says, showing her police badge which says she's from the MWPSB. ] I'll get you out of here.

▶ phase iii
[ Thankfully, for the sake of this prompt, Sibyl's Dominators are working. What is a Dominator, you ask? Why, it is a gun that measures one's crime coefficient, and transforms into a different type of gun depending on how dangerous one can be.

Now that Akane's in a peacock fighting ring (why the heck?!), she has no other choice but to fight to be able to get out. She can hear some cheering and booing, but she doesn't care about any of them. What matters is her safety, so that she can save the rest of the other people who may be subjected to this kind of madness!

She points her gun at the peacock, and she hears Crime coefficient is 335. Lethal Eliminator in her head. And just when it happens, her innocent looking gun suddenly turns into this thing. And Akane fires. Blood splatters everywhere, and there's nothing that remains of it, but the fluid.

Granted, she could have escaped, but she had to get rid of anything dangerous, first. Once that's over with, and while people are gawking at what just happened, the gun reverts back to its normal state, and puts it on her back and hops onto the audience area.

It doesn't look like she's mildly disturbed by what just happened. In fact, she's calling over a popcorn vendor and buys some, and juice, too. ]

I hope nobody lost a lot of money tonight, [ She says out loud. It's just a joke, though. Because screw you jerkwads for even betting on something like this. Gambling is illegal! ]

▶ bonus
[ … ah. Her conduct in Phase III has owned her a cone of shame, and she shamefully wears it as she sits down on one of the couches. Her hands are carefully tucked in between her legs, eyes looking at her feet. Seriously, who hurt this girl? You should feel bad.

As badass as her display was, she can still be a child. ]

I don't deserve this...

[Phase I]

[Quatre isn't sure how he got here. For one thing, he doesn't have a pet. For another thing, this isn't where he's supposed to be. It's confusing, and whatever explanations have been thrown at him sound far-fetched at best. He doesn't know what to think, and maybe it's a blessing in a way, that he's been swept up in whatever this is, so he's not left to think on what's really happened, where his friends are.

However, being jabbed with a needle and tossed into a kennel is not exactly helping anything at all. The blond is, well, trying desperately to be reasonable about this. It's not going so well.]

Excuse me..! [Calling out through the bars as politely as he can, while he wavers on his feet, dizzy and chewing on his bottom lip. He's yet to notice the fact that he's acquired a pair of pointed cat ears the same platinum blonde color as his hair.] Excuse me, there's been a mistake here. I think I can explain if you--

[All right. If diplomacy fails, Quatre will use force, if he has to. Or better yet, maybe he can find some allies to help in this. He turns his attention about to see who else is in this predicament.] They've got you too, then. There has to be a way out of here! [Quatre votes teamwork. And hey, he hasn't tried biting anyone -- yet -- so this should work out fine.]

[Phase II]

[This though? This is when diplomacy fails entirely. Quatre is disoriented enough, that for a good second he wobbles on his feet before realizing that... yes. Those are peacocks.] Ah...

[And then Quatre finds himself dodging birds. And at least he's more agile, quicker than one might expect first seeing him. He's kept his eyes safe anyway, but he doesn't hesitate to run for the wall, leaping and hauling himself out. Or mostly out -- one of the peacocks catches the pant-leg of his khakis and the blond winds up scrabbling to hold himself up and shake the bird free.] This is really... getting ridiculous. [Give him a hand? Maybe?]

[Phase IV]

[Quatre heard the explanation when he first arrived, and now that voice. There's no ignoring it. He followed the whispers all right, straight to the strange bird and he can picture it all in his head too vividly. And it hits the pilot hard, nearly knocks the breath out of him. Trowa... Duo... Heero... Wufei... The Maganacs. All his sisters. Everyone. Gone, and he's here and.

Quatre wears his heart on his sleeve at the best of times, and it's not the best of time. His hand is curled into the front of his shirt and blue eyes are visibly full of tears.] Everyone is... [Gone... It can't be true. But he's in this strange place, who's to say what's true anymore? He's lost enough in his thoughts as he wanders that he may walk straight into you without realizing, though he's quick to murmur a soft,] Sorry... I should be paying better attention. [He even tries for a smile, apologetic.]

Edited 2015-07-07 02:04 (UTC)

phase ii.

[All things considered, a T-Rex? While really cool and all, probably not something that should be delegated to a volunteer. Or probably the perfect thing to delegate to a "volunteer". Molly stares up at the thing, eyes narrowed and frowning as she was forced to put on "protective gear" (which really only included rubber gloves and an apron - some protection, you jerks) and shoved into the room with the dumb thing.

A few moments pass, and the sound of the door opening has her turning to face the (un)lucky sap that had gotten dragged into this as well. She crosses her arms with a slightly amused eyebrow raise.]

Take it you got told you were on volunteer duty too? [Despite the amusement in her voice, there is a slight undercurrent of sympathy. She just sucks at letting it show sometimes. She looks back over at the dinosaur, who seems to be getting impatient.]

Well, you want to or should I?

phase iii.

[Illegal fighting rings were honestly more up her alley, though in most cases she was there to stop them before people got hurt, demons were summoned, well ... you get the picture. But shoving a headband on her and putting her in the ring with the peacock? Probably not one of the brightest ideas. While some would've either gotten scared or done the smart thing and just vault over the walls, Molly was the type to stand her ground, settling into something resembling a kickboxing stance before the bird tries to rush at her, going straight for the eyes -

And gets knocked clear across the ring from a nasty left hook. In fact, it looks like it got knocked clear out of the air mid-lunge and into the opposite wall. She lowers her fist with a smirk.]

Might've been a bit of overkill. [Their fault for thinking she was a bird for some reason or another. Though her current "peacocking" (ahahahah bird puns) probably was what brought them to that conclusion in the first place. It's then that she notices the wall and vaults over it -

Only to get knocked down and onto her back with an unceremonious thud. Apparently the bird wasn't dead or knocked out from that, and Molly just blinks dumbly for a moment before rolling out of the way from another pecking barrage, getting back on her feet.]

Alright you dumbass bird ... bring it on!

wildcard.

[Anything else you can think of, feel free to drop it in here!]

( PHASE I; )

[roxas has a lot of questions—like how he got pulled away from a hell of a more important situation than this, or what it was riku did to him that knocked him out and led him here.

really, these are super important questions but first things first.]

What... what is this thing!? [he's clearly not happy with having been collared, and he also really isn't... waiting... to hear what the fair dino-doctor has to say about it. he kind of got strongarmed into it, despite the hazy state of having been told that fluffy was his pet and the one needing care. not roxas himself. this has been a really bad week for him, and it shows. he holds his hands out at his sides, and the start of two bright flashes of light flickers in them. someone needs to stop him before he whips out two oversized keys and beats a dinosaur with them relentlessly.]

( PHASE IV; )

[courage isn't the issue that initially stops roxas from pressing forward at the sound of those whispers. it's the fact that he's wary, that he feels like he's walking into some kind of sick trap. after all, it wouldn't be the first time that happened by way of blindly following a request.

still, he doesn't have any other leads to follow now. he listens to the bird, and he hears the names of familiar worlds, people, nobodies. and really, he almost keeps it together until he hears axel's name—for a brief moment, he falters before remembering what he'd told himself. nobody in the organization would miss him, and axel would probably just have lied to the very end anyway.]

What a joke. [roxas sneers at the bird, almost bitterly before he turns away.]

I never had a world to go back to, anyway. [so he's not buying it. even if he wants to do some things and take the steps to restore his life and his friends' to one where they could be happier and carefree, right now? he doesn't have any of that, and he left knowing it. he's a nobody, so how can any one place be his home? and if he doesn't have a heart, how can this take of a hold of him? there are no feelings to be had. or at least, that's what roxas tells himself as the bird disappears and he's left clenching his fists.

this is more frustrating than he could ever have imagined, somehow.]

( PHASE ???; )

[wildcard, in case someone else has a prompt or idea not covered here!]

PHASE II.

[There is very little to expect from one who was just recently pulled from an era consisting of constant civil wars, archaic weaponry and candle light. It's safe to say Toyotomi Hideyoshi is a pure product of his own time, untouched by any foreign presence (well, up until now) and unsullied in his consistent view of how his world should be shaped. When he realizes this isn't his world, nor the world he expected from beyond the grave- he is pulled out of his element. He is no longer shining, nor extravagant. He is merely another man.

Who is currently wrestling a T-Rex.

In his defense, most things that are double his size are usually slower than him, and it was what he expected when the thing appeared for it's "teeth check up", as the smaller person had said. Hideyoshi had barely realized what the giant, gnarled brush in his hand was for before both it AND his hand were gone from view- quite suddenly clamped between the ragged crevices of those sharp teeth.

So now it's come to this, Hideyoshi and Sir Gadzooks playing an tense, unsettling game of tug-of-war, with Hideyoshi's freed arm wrapped around the dino's muzzle as much as he can grip, his face grim and taunt with concentration. Each time he slowly pries those massive jaws open, Sir Gadzook's jaw trembles and clamps down again. His "assistant" is somewhere around here, probably cowering or trying to avoid the large lashing tail, who knows- maybe you should be the one to help him out?]

PHASE III.

[This takes him back to the simpler times of his own era. An enjoyment among peasants who hadn't yet been bruised by the hand of war, or merely a distraction for those artisans who thought themselves too good for common ground. Either way, Hideyoshi finds himself in the middle of a particularly loud crowd, watching the peacocks go at it with a stern, yet studied expression. He crosses his bulky arms as the men shout and clap around him. He should more out of sorts than he already is. He snorts deep from his nose.]

Agility and speed? Those can only carry one so far. What really determines the victor is strength!

[He says, to literally no one in particular, just as a peacock headbutts another and sends it flying in a flurry of feathers. Hideyoshi hums in approval. It's probably time to leave now.]

Phase II

[ If there was a person who would make good for a picture perfect moment for being 'hardly amused', Duke likely could be a fine candidate if it weren't for his general personality. As it is, he didn't exactly picture himself as someone who'd willingly do something like this in the first place. He will instead begin to walk off, not intending to even so much as get down and dirty. ]

Phase IV

[ Now if there were any way to react towards such a thing at first, it'd be with surprise, and a quiet anger that someone would dare to speak the exact details aloud. Considering, his last important person had indeed already been dead -- but to know those words... ]

... You. What gives you the right to say these things? Do you think it amusing?

[ Of course, having received no response in return simply makes him realize that perhaps he's not even going to be dignified with an answer. ]

PHASE I:

[Yeah. Wow. No. There seems to be some serial scalation going on here, because, apparently? Finding himself in some messed up parody of a vet's office just wasn't bad enough. Now, these idiots are trying to shove him into a kennel. Here's to hoping they don't mind the unscheduled tracheotomy, because he may or may not have punched at least one of them in the throat before knocking them all out. Golly.]

Well... What do we have here?

[Said more to himself, but you can bet he's going to be snooping around after this, checking out the other kennels and generally putting those detective skills of his to good(???) use. Things were coming along so well before he wound up here, too. For shame.]

PHASE IV:

[He has no problem checking out those whispers. After all, even if they say curiosity killed the cat, he's a firm believer that satisfaction brought it back.

He's definitely not satisfied here, though. More like, uh. Pretty pissed. And armed. And also making a good attempt at shooting that bird in the face once whatever that was is over. He'll probably remember that whole thing about anger making him act like an idiot later on, once he realizes how stupid he must have looked trying to shoot a bird, but for now... Damn it. Things do not get to end like that — not unless he achieves what he's been working on, so he's rejecting everything he just heard. Try not to get in his way, because he's marching right out of that area and won't feel very sorry at all if someone walks right into him.]

BONUS:

[He's not sure how this happened.

Like, logically? He should have seen it coming. Or, heard it coming, at least. He didn't, though, for some reason. So... now he has one of those cones on him and no way of getting it off. He's not sure if he should be impressed by how the lock on this thing is constructed, or exasperated by it, but—

But—

Hold that thought, because this is the part where someone else with one of these nasty things on them gets a little too close to him. Great. He always wanted to be stuck to someone. Makes him feel all nice and chummy. Hah.]

Edited 2015-07-07 02:34 (UTC)

Phase III

[So this wasn't all bad, even if it was weird as hell. If the afterlife or whatever was all some weird videogame, then screw it, he might as well dive right in. It was seriously cool that they had pretend dinosaurs and all, but once he wandered around enough and found a ring full of apparently bloodthirsty peacocks, things just got that much better.

Kagari manages to find himself a good spot to stand near the edge of the ring, and wholeheartedly joins in on the yelling supporting various fighting birds. He isn't doing that great with picking the winners, but it doesn't really matter because he's having such a good time laughing and cheering them on.]

Come on, stop trying to look pretty and do something, bird!

Phase IV

[Kagari follows the whispering, firstly because it's irritating and he wants it to stop, and secondly because honestly, what's the worst that could happen at this point?

It takes him a while, but he eventually finds the source of the whispering and it's not what he expects; a creepy bird right out of a horror game. What it has to say doesn't bother him overly much, though. Why would he care about the rest of the world at all? They had already said it was destroyed, and he wasn't going to waste any tears on people he had never even met.

When the bird starts in the people he actually cares about though, it's a different story. He doesn't want or even need to hear about any of that, and it's all too easy to let himself get worked up just imagining the things being described to him.

He lets himself slam a fist into the wall before reigning in his temper. It was just some stupid bird, and it had probably been making up stuff just to mess with him anyway.]

Wildcard

[Other ideas? Go for it.]

Edited 2015-07-07 02:49 (UTC)

I;

[people in kennels... wow legit auger and mejojo paradise]

[Julian may be tall and gangly and an actual kitty person, but the fight he puts up before he's dragged away to his kennel is pathetically feeble and not enough to prevent his terrible life from happening. instead, after he's shoved in, he just kind of crawls up into a ball and clutches his knees to his chest, breathing rapidly]

...I can't -- no, no -- [breathing even more rapidly. how is this any different from the many traumatic memories Julian has] I'm sorry -- I'm sorry --

[continues to mutter apologies under his breath for an indefinite amount of time]

III;

[okay just because julian has lots of experience with being shoved into basements does not mean he knows how to extricate himself from basements!!! in the ensuing peacock vs cat scuffle, julian ends up forfeiting the match by conveniently transforming into kitty form to avoid the rampaging peacock, leaping out of the ring, and then fleeing into the crowds for hIS LIFE!!!]

[which is why you might stumble across a black cat, curled up and trembling from head to toe, and looking pretty miserable... and adorable... clearly, the damsel kitty must be rescued.]

wildcard;

[before the doctor can bust in and scare the living daylights out of Julian, Julian stares with trepidation at the posters scattered across the walls... showing people as pets!! Which isn't so bad, as long as they like it, but it's weird to see a poster with a black kitten staring balefully back at him -- with the words 'ADOPT A PET TODAY' emblazoned across it. also who is fluffy. and why is he on julian's lap?? Julian delicately picks up Fluffy and deposits him on the floor.]

I'm sorry, sir. I'm not quite sure on how exactly this came about, but I have no intention on keeping you as a pet against your will. I hope I haven't offended you.

[Fluffy stares at him. why is julian talking to it??? who knows. Julian anxiously gazes back. and then lets out a screech as Fluffy sinks his teeth into Julian's nervous fingers. called it.]

wildcard 2;

[oR MAKE UP YOUR OWN PROMPT IDK I'M GOOD WITH ANYTHING]

( PHASE I )

[ As a Naga-wakizashi, his speed is one his good traits. However, with the initial confusion and puzzlement of his sudden new surroundings, he doesn't react fast enough to avoid the prick to his arm and suddenly being pushed within a kennel.

Which is why he's just... quietly sitting down, silver curved ears pressed back atop his head with a thin lightly fluffed tail curled around his feet. He's actually remaining quiet rather than some others and may possibly be ignoring those next to him, but you're still free to try to gain his attention!

Otherwise please save him oh my god. ]

( PHASE IV )

[ Despite the bird's words and story telling- the male in question merely stares back with a sort of quiet, blank look. There's mentions of names- some historical, people that he may have once been under, names of other swords he was once with depending on the location and or time- but, in the end, nothing seems to flicker as recognition over his face.

The moment the bird chooses to fly off is when Honebami finally eventually moves, though it's more of a tilt of his head and a lower of his gaze. Finally, he sighs. Maybe it was suppose to mean something- but he didn't know. Rather, he doesn't know. He doesn't have his memories, nothing since before being recovered again- but memories before are nothing but flames.

Was he suppose to believe what the bird was saying were his memories? Even if they were, he still couldn't place any, so in the end... ] ...Nothing has changed, I still don't remember.

( BONUS )

[ Nothing really needs to be said about the sight of someone being stuck to a wall with a cone of shame on their head, right?

Unless you too so happen to be wearing one.. in which case he's likely colliding into you instead.

WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON ANYMORE. ]

PHASE II.

[ regardless of who is actually the designated dental assistant, kanda is standing with one foot planted firmly on the t-rex's jaw, the other used to pry its mouth slightly open. his other hand rests conspicuously on the hilt of the sword at his waist as he cocks his head at a patch of plaque. ]

You. Scrub.

PHASE IV.

[ not everyone takes well to doomsday predictions (or proclamations), it seems. the bird has been grasped by its bony neck, briefly strangled, and hurled into the distance with unnatural strength.

it may have hit someone in the face. sorry. ]

⊲⊲⊲ phase II.

[ ... of course, it had occurred to serpico that a creature with a purely vegan diet would probably not have a set of teeth like that, but he is a helpful person and quite the pushover. outwardly. the transition from sailing to a narrow corridor with bright, blinking lighting served its purpose in disorienting him. the inundation of information that seemed to be complete nonsense was enough to distract him, leading to serpico being ...

here. in front of the gaping mouth of some sort of giant monster. the toothbrush he holds in his hand is comically large and feels more like a sword. the floss is tucked at his waist like a lasso, and he wears an unnerved expression as he looks up at the sizable menace, a deep grumble resonating within its throat and rolling out in a hot huff of breath.

he doesn't think this is a good idea. is he even getting paid for this? ]

It, [ he attempts a short-lived smile, then swallows hard, ]... It seems ill-tempered, doesn't it? [ he holds up a part of the floss, wondering if he could effectively wrangle the creature. ]

⊲⊲⊲ phase IV.

[ the bird catches serpico's attention without needing to hypnotize him, if only because it reminds him very much of a plague doctor. there's something eerily ... human about it for a moment, and as it dispenses its strange and bleak premonitions of horror and misfortune serpico can't help but feel a strong drop and twist hit his stomach. he blanches, the descriptions seemingly coming to life in an array of images flashing before his eyes, until a squawk takes him out of the moment and makes him realize how ridiculous the entire thing seems.

not much more ridiculous than most of what he's seen. the moment his wits are about him he's backing up, believing the bird to have just been momentarily possessed by a demon of some sort. gaining distance doesn't seem to let the disturbance subside, and so he politely calls the attention of someone passing by (through clearing his throat or tapping their shoulder, a small "excuse me," or even a grab for their hand). ]

Excuse me. [ he polishes his tone to be as unassuming as possible, but there's something unsettled about his smile. ] Do you have a moment?

⊲⊲⊲ BONUS.

[ cone of shame'd, apparently. serpico even tries his best to cut it off with his rapier, and even considers using his abilities of sylph to cut through the cone with his wind, but ...any distraction could cause that to be disastrous, and he didn't want to exactly show that particular crowd to a group of strangers just yet. there seems to be others with cones, so perhaps it's standard practice? some bizarre custom? if anything, it assures serpico that people must know how to get them off.

or when they are taken off, at least.

except he's easily bumping into plenty of people because his cone is particularly huge, obscuring anything in his peripheral and ...just about almost all of his vision unless he bows his head.

a.) he bumps into someone without a cone, the edge of it getting caught in their shirt or cutting their cheek or hitting their chin or whatever. sorry!

b.) he bumps into someone else with a cone, and... well ... his cone has somehow got stuck inside of the rim of the other cone. oh dear, this is awkward. pick your poison. ]

Phase 01:
Ginoza was a dog person, even after he had become a latent criminal and an enforcer he still had Dime, and enjoyed the moments and times he was able to take the husky for a walk. But looking down at the creature in his lap now, the enforcer couldn’t help but to wonder what it was supposed to be. Then to find himself hurried into a room full of cages and being dragged was a little disorienting. Furthermore being confused for being the pet was something that he had not expected to ever happen; even if enforcers were little better than hunting dogs to most. Luckily he had managed to catch the edge of the kennel and the intended shot with his artificial arm before forcing his way out and correcting the mistake. Fixing the glove over his mechanical hand he checked a few of the other cages to see if anyone needed out.

“This obviously isn’t a normal veterinary clinic.”

Phase 03:
Giant peacocks, well he supposes he should be glad that it wasn’t military drones that had been hacked, but still Ginoza didn’t want to actually harm the birds even as they were attacking him. Protecting his face with his arm he quickly glanced around the room, were there actually people spectating this, and did they think he was actually a bird? How stupid could they be.

Making a dash for the wall, he jumped over it before landing and rolling to a stop at someone’s feet.

⊲ phase four

[Okay, so. The dinosaur doctor was scary enough and Wall-E high-tailed it as soon as that thing made an appearance, but now there's a bird that he made the mistake of going towards when he heard a voice calling, and the poor little robot got quite an earful about some really morbid stuff before the bird rudely squawked loudly in his face and caused him to flee.

And so, anyone who might be nearby in the area might be able to hear an odd sort of low-pitched whine, and it's coming from what appears to be a box in the corner over here: or rather, a small robot that's trying really hard to pretend to be a box. However, it's making noise and shaking a little in fear from being in this strange place, so that kind of ruins the illusion and sad attempt at trying to hide right now.]

⊲ bonus phase

[...We do not like the cone of shame. (We are also the wrong Pixar character to be wearing a cone of shame, but that aside--)

Unfortunately, Wall-E is unable to remove this thing that the "doctor" and receptionist shoved down over us. Despite the object being placed in a way that it should be easy to remove, Wall-E's own hands keep getting stuck to the sides of the cone from trying to pull it off, which then causes him to end up rolling backwards or forwards over people's feet or into nearby objects in it's desperate attempts to remove it. Thanks to the cone, he's unable to see where he's going or what he's crashing into, so if he does end up rolling over your feet or crashing into you, we assure you that it wasn't like he meant to do that on purpose.

Somebody please help this poor robot, surely he did nothing to deserve this.]

Edited (... WHOOPS WRONG LABELS ON STUFF) 2015-07-07 04:43 (UTC)

Phase I

[Being treated like he's a dog is something Kogami is actually used to. Just minus the collars and actually being treated like a dog. At least he's used to being treated less than human thanks to his status as a latent criminal. However, the collar and the shots, damn was that all necessary?]

Is this some sort of new therapy they're doing? [He scoffs.] News to me as I'm pretty sure it won't work.

[It would probably only raise crime coefficients.]

Phase III

[Man or peacock, Kogami will take it on. This is all a joke, he's aware, but he may as well humor his captors, but not for very long. Let them know who they're dealing with. Of course, he's aware that he's somehow been mistaken, but this is Kogami.

Of course, after a few rounds, Kogami will escape, getting rid of that awful looking peacock headband. Though he's mostly escaping because the pen unfortunately reminds him of an awful hunting game he played with an android that... did not end well at all.]

Bonus Phase

[Witness Kogami in his cone of shame. It's oddly fitting for a hound...]

I would honestly like to know who's idea of a joke this is.

[Because now it's gone just a little too far. He was amused for a bit, now he's not.]

Edited 2015-07-07 04:52 (UTC)

Phase II:
Did they really expect someone to stick their arm into an animals mouth to clean the teeth? Yayoi had seen through it from the beginning and had been escaping from the kennels when she had been mistaken for an assistant. Whoever it was they had stuck in there with her, they had been the first to go when the dinosaur lunged forward; Yayoi turned her body to avoid the jaws but still managed to find herself hit by the splatter of blood before she bolted out of the door.

It was a cheap movie, or some kind of game. But then Sybil wouldn't allow something this graphic would it? Something like this would certainly cloud people's psycho pass. Having barricaded the second door that she went through Yayoi took a moment to catch her breath. It was likely it wouldn't hold for long, but without a dominator she would need something to defend herself with. Her eyes darted around looking for something, anything.

Bonus: The cone had been something of a shock, slipped on before she could object or even really realize what was going on as she walked through the door. It made it almost impossible to see and seemed to throw off her balance a bit as well each time it pulled her towards a wall. Hopefully if she wound up stuck to someone else they didn't mind working together to get out of this.

PHASE III

[ Like hell Togami is going to be caught dead involved in any of this. Sure, he should probably investigate things, but all the more reason why he should be actually investigating and not stuck running errands for some fake dinosaur. He completely abandons his "pet" and his "duties" as a "nurse" the second everyone has turned their backs, and in his haste to find anywhere else to be, he seems to have wound up down in the peacock fighting ring's audience.

The lack of anyone trying to boss him around is a welcome change, so he lingers, watching the fights. Gambling isn't really his thing. And though this is a novelty at first, the fights quickly become repetitive. This is nothing but pure bizarre shock value...

He mutters, largely talking to himself, but well, he is in the middle of a crowd, and there are probably people who can overhear. ] Is everything here a complete waste of everyone's time?

BONUS

[ After a while of hiding out down in the peacock fighting ring, he figured it was probably safe to come upstairs and slip out of the premises somehow. But, unfortunately, he doesn't make as clean a break as he had hoped. When he runs into the vet again, he crosses his arms stiffly and lies as best as he can to get out of things—yes, I took care of everything, no, there were no issues—but despite his best efforts, his tone is still stubbornly argumentative and condescending, and the other assistants insist that he didn't actually do anything. So he's still pretty clearly earmarked as someone with Attitude Problems.

So of course, he gets stuck in an absolutely humiliating Elizabethan collar. And, of course, he is livid. ]

Get this disgrace off of me! Who the hell do you think I am?! Do you think something like this is actually going to stop me? You're just making things worse for yourselves in the end...

[ He's caught up enough in his offense that he isn't going to notice someone else until it's too late for them to avoid crashing into each other. At least he'll do his best to minimize the impact of any crashes, even if it might involve trying to shove the other person out of range. ]

WILDCARD

[ OR, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!! ]

PHASE I

[This is nothing new. One amongst Terra's weird experiences after arriving in other worlds included immediately being shoved in a holding cell on a spaceship. But being mistaken for a pet, given shots, and promptly shoved into a kennel? Way more bizarre and humiliating.

Whatever they injected him with, he's starting to get a little queasy. But he can't stay here, so he calls to whoever might be unfortunate enough to be stuck in the kennels next to his.]

Don't worry, I have a way to get us out. I can-- [He extends his hand to try and summon his Keyblade, but before it can materialise, a wave of nausea hits him and he staggers to his knees.] I can help...

[Right after he's done trying not to throw up, sorry.]

PHASE IV

[If there was anything that could get a rise out of Terra, it was this bird, describing in excruciating detail about the worlds being destroyed. Worse, about Ven and Aqua, dying in pain and without Terra there to help them. He knows he shouldn't listen, and yet he can't stop, and by the time it falls silent again, he's shaking.]

You're lying. Did Xehanort send you? It's not true!

[A dark, ominous aura is starting to haze around his entire body. Right now, he'd like nothing more than to destroy this bird and shut it up for good.

Maybe someone should calm him down? ...Or not, since intervening could be pretty dangerous.]

WILDCARD

[Choose your own adventure!]

p h a s e I I;

[Well, here's a man with dark glasses and a white cane, (blind, sure enough) standing awkwardly in front of said dinosaur. He, naturally, can sense exactly what's going on (not that it makes any sense - really, since the whole tour, he'd been wondering if he was going insane), but that doesn't show in his demeanor at all.]

[He tilts his head quizzically around the room - until it's turned towards you]

I'm not so sure that's a good idea.

[Is he talking about himself doing dental work, or the whole thing? It's hard to tell.]

p h a s e I I I;

[Well, there is a man who's found his way down here. And he's not here to bet. Dressed head to toe in black (face mask included), he makes quite the entrance, dropping in dramatically from the rafters, metallic batons in hand.]

[...Yeah, he's definitely not here to bet. But he is looking for a fight - just not with these peacocks]

Show's over. [The voice is deep and gravelly, like a half-assed Batman impression. Who is he speaking to? Whoever looks to be in charge] These people aren't animals. Let them go.

[Best get out of the way (or join in!), looks like he's about to open up a can of whoopass all up in this peacock club.]

B o n u s;

[Ah yes, the cone of shame. Matt had indeed gone to file a complaint with dino management and it had worked out wonderfully.]

[So now he was a blind man wearing a cone around his neck, struggling to get out of the level. That is, until the magnetic pull of the cone sends him hurtling into a wall - or into you. Either way, he's hitting his target pretty hard with a groan, cane clattering to the ground. Eventually, he'll try to clamber to his feet, addressing you with a wince and a sheepish smile as he does:]

You wouldn't happen to know how to get this off, would you?

W i l d c a r d;

[Hit me up with whatever! I'll roll with it.]

PHASE I

[ Shooting the lock off would be the fastest way to get out of this stupid kennel, but it would also be the loudest. He'd already made quite a ruckus after having been shoved into the cage, but after calming down some he's started to go about this problem more reasonably. After all, fighting his way out of here has proven to be the least efficient method.

After the place is clear , he starts going about melting down the bars with a bit of fire magic that he produces from his fingers. The drugs they'd pumped into his body earlier are taking effect. He's a cat person deep down, but the tail and ears he's sprouting resemble a monkey's more than any other animal.

Hey, person next to him! Are you awake and watching? He fully plans on helping you out, if you agree to be his ally. If you happen to be asleep, enjoy being prodded with the sheath of his sword. ]

Hoy... [ He places his finger next to his mouth, warning the other person to stay quiet. Don't rat him out! He'll kick your ass... ] Let's get out of here.

PHASE II

[ All right, so he has no idea how he ended up here, but he's long since realized that asking questions won't get him any answers. He realizes the next best thing he can do is cooperate, or try to.

But this isn't his idea of fun. Staring at the massive head in front of him, he feels his temper rise to a simmering point. He'd just calmed down, too. ]

Damn me! What kind of test is this, if it is a test at all? My sword is intended to be used for fighting and slaying demons, not picking the teeth of someone's oversized pet!

[ He sighs in what seems to be defeat. He's not scared. He's exasperated. If this was the first beast he's had to confront, he might have been a little nervous, but it isn't. If anything, the sight of such fierce teeth fuels his drive to get through this. ]

Well, if this really is a challenge, I suppose I can't back down. Neither should you. [ He turns to his dental partner. ] We've come this far, haven't we?

PHASE III

[ Now... this is what he's talking about. After being thrown into what looks like a ring, Walter almost feels giddy with excitement at the prospect of being challenged for real. Only... what is dropped onto the other side of the ring isn't a fierce competitor or a demon. It's... a bird. A colourful bird. Well, looks can be deceiving.

You can either --

A - Meet him while he's inside the ring. Whether you're a spectator or an opponent is up to you! He'll give the fights his all up until he realizes that he doesn't have to do this.

B - Meet him while he's outside the ring. He's worn from having to deal with wrangling with peacocks and veterinarian assistants alike. He's had enough of this particular challenge and has stepped out of the ring to take a break.

He could really use a drink. ]

BONUS

[ Walter is seated somewhere with a cone around his head. He's not trying to get it off, no -- he's given up on that (for now). Instead, he's trying to reach inside, past the plastic, to try and itch at his face. The cone stretches out too far to allow him to do that, though.

Give a guy a hand? His nose feels like it's on fire. ]

Edited 2015-07-07 11:45 (UTC)

Phase I

[Saskia's not sure what's worse, to be honest. Being confined in a small space when she's already mildly claustrophobic is horrible enough, but at the same time it's hard to panic about that when she has issues against forced medication too and that's what just happened. She rubs her arm at the shot site, too dizzy to be as outraged as she should. She tries to move, to struggle to get free, but all that happens is that she has to flop back down, groaning.]

Hey, nausea. Welcome to the party.

[And because she's vaguely aware of not being alone.]

If I throw up on you, I'm so sorry....

Bonus:

[What. The fuck. Saskia squirms, struggling to remove the cone of shame that she was just forced into.]

This is how you respond to complaints?!? Assholes. Get this off me!

[More angry muttering accompanies her futile attempts to tug it off, stumbling into a wall every few feet. When she's not gravitating towards a wall, the cone of shame seems to be seeking out others of its kind. Too busy still trying to remove it, Saskia doesn't realize a collision is imminent in 3...2...1....]

Edited 2015-07-07 13:49 (UTC)

PHASE I >>

[ it's not the worst situation he's ever found himself in, but marco has to admit it has to be the strangest. (and that includes the time galahad managed to coerce him into wearing matching suits to correspond with loretta's pink plaid dress for her seventh birthday party.) it's for this reason alone that they manage to overpower him like they do and shove him around, but as soon as that shot is administered (right on his butt, what even is that), marco's mind is snapping back into gear.

without a word, he throws back both robots who'd been trying to stuff him into a nearby kennel (with such force that both machines clatter noisily against the wall behind them). it's during his mad glance around for an exit that he spots you, though — perhaps merely standing watch, perhaps also a victim in your own right.

without a second thought, he dashes forward, and though he doesn't hesitate to reach out for your arm, his touch is surprisingly gentle. ]

Are you alright? [ he can only assume you're in the same predicament as him. ] Can you move?

PHASE III >>

[ the crowd around him is jostling and raving, hoards of people shouting taunts and cheers at the top of their lungs. marco himself stands still, swaying only every now and then as the crowd moves against him, but his eyes remain trained on the unfortunate soul who's been shoved into the ring.

someone behind him asks if he wants to throw some money in.

marco smiles, though the action doesn't quite reach his eyes. ]

No thanks. I don't gamble.

CYOA >>

[ have something in mind that you don't see offered here? feel free to go for it, or PM me and work it out! :D ]

( ooc; as a head's up, nicolas is canonically deaf and communicates mainly through lip-reading and sign language. he will be able to read your character's lips and understand them thanks to the handy-dandy ocular implant, however his signing will remain JSL. he can also speak (begrudgingly), which your character will be able to understand, since it defaults to the cerealia language here. )

II: why gadzooks, what big teeth you have...

[ as one half of ergastulum's benriya, nic's had his number of odd jobs before... but this definitely takes the cake.

rather diminutive already, he certainly doesn't feel any better about himself as he stands back and assesses their supposed "patient," who appears to be all snarls and teeth in anticipation for his check up.

with a grunt, nic turns on his heel, giving you, his dental assistant, a careless wave of his hand over his shoulder.

all yours, buddy. ]

IV: it's all greek to me

[ the bird doesn't mince details. it mentions everything — the fire that swallows up ergastulum, the screams of the people too poor and too broken to flee in time; the look on worick's face as the flames lick away his skin, the hilt of a katana dug into his chest in an effort to spare him pain; alex, curled up in the corner, cheeks stained with tears as she holds nina close to her chest, attempting to spare the younger girl of the smoke already invading her lungs; rivers of blood and mountains of bodies, the world slowly imploding in on itself just as humanity takes its last desperate gasp of air...

man. that sure was trippy, wasn't it? hearing something like that definitely wouldn't make anyone feel good...

good thing nic is deaf and he missed absolutely all of that haha oops.

he yawns loudly, reaching up to scratch lazily at his neck.

is this bird supposed to do something or what? he's bored. ]

CYOA: come at me, bro

[ the world is your oyster! feel free to toss whatever at me, or PM this journal if you'd like to work something out. ]

PHASE I
[All things considered, it really didn't take too much imagination to see how Illidan could have been mistaken for an animal. Maybe it was the horns, the pointed teeth, the large bat wings, or even the hooves. Illidan, however, did not see any humor in the irony of this. He remained steadfast in his seat while he was flocked around, and attempted to be pushed into this or pulled into that. They were not having a whole lot of luck moving him.

He did notice someone standing nearby that didn't seem to be a part of the rabble pestering him. That didn't mean he was any less annoyed by their presence, however. He turned to face his spectator.

Do you need something?

[And he says this while snapping a collar that had just been put on him, and tossing it to the ground.]

PHASE IV

[Illidan was no stranger to peculiar magics and clairvoyance, and ancient beings that could transform into beasts, but this bird did not seem to be either, and yet here it was. He took the bird's tail with a grain of salt, there was no way some little feathered wretch could be able to know such things. The only thing that bothered him, was that the bird knew the name of the woman he loved. He intended to find out why.

He grabbed the bird from its perch, paying no heed as it squawked and struggled and making a ruckus as it tried to get free. Illidan remain either ignorant of the attention he was drawing, or he did not care, or was just far too used to it to be bothered to acknowledge it at this point.]

How do you know that name? Tell me wretch, if you still have the tongue to do so!

Wildcard

[Pop in with any scenario you like!]

Edited 2015-07-08 20:59 (UTC)

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illyasviel von einzbern | fate/stay night

akane tsunemori | psycho-pass