ioculus | //TESTDRIVE9.0.EXE

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!test drive

//TESTDRIVE9.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE9.0.EXE

Hey there! Did you know that yearly check-ups are the best preventative medicine you can give to your darling CYbuddy? Their health is of the utmost importance and from the Pomeranian to the Velociraptor, it's so very necessary to give your CYbuddy what he or she needs to be as happy and healthy as can be. After all, CYbuddies are the first and last defense in the war against loneliness, so you must do your best to protect the ones you have! You wouldn't want to be a friendless CYbuddy-less loser, would you? Through thick and thin, rain or shine, your CYbuddy will love you forever. And ever. And ever. Do not disappoint your CYbuddy.

You blink and suddenly find yourself in what looks like a doctor's waiting room, completely alone aside from the robot receptionist. Posters line the walls in various degrees of friendliness. Actually, is this the vet? It kind of looks like the vet. In fact, when you look down towards your lap, there will be a creature snoozing comfortably on you. Really, how did you not notice? The creature's collar names him Fluffy. (That's a dumb name, why did you name your pet Fluffy? Be more creative!) If you decide to call out to the receptionist, they will ignore you, but soon after you will hear clacking of sharp nails on the floor as someone -- or something -- comes out of the back room.

No worries, it's just the doctor.

Greetings! My name is Thelonious T-Bone the Third and I will be Fluffy's doctor today. I will take good care of your dear Fluffy and be right back to you with him or her in a jiffy. You can, of course, completely trust me for I am the best in the business! No other Velociraptor can treat and heal pets as well as I, most certainly. But there is one tiny little thing, you see. My nurse is out sick today and my hands are too small and dangerous to work well without accidentally killing your poor pet. So, to make up for this, I will need you to be my nurse today. Do you think you can handle that?

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I

[ 0900 ] Welcome to ViViD's state of the art pet care simulator. It looks like everyone is ready and willing to get started -- maybe a little too eager to get started. There seems to have been a minor misunderstanding actually and Dr. T-Bone seems to think that... well, that you're the pet. Didn't he see Fluffy's collar? (Still, such a dumb name!)

If you don't think fast, you're likely to be shoved into a kennel or forced into getting really uncomfortable shots (to prevent rabies, you see; side effects include dizziness, nausea, sprouting animal ears for a few hours and the increased desire to bite people). At least you'll have company since it looks like this mistake is happening to everyone. Might as well get cozy and get to know the people stuck in the kennels next to you while you're here.

PHASE II

[ 1200 ] It's time to actually be the nurse! And time to treat one of Dr. T-Bone's most prominent clients. You will be led to, well, a dinosaur -- a T-Rex to be exact. And you will be told that your job is to take care of its teeth.

That's right. Someone has to clean all of those teeth. And it looks like you're the lucky sap who got the job. Don't worry, the Tyrannosaurus Rex's name tag proclaims it to be vegan (and to go by the name of Sir Gadzooks) so it should be perfectly safe to reach into that gaping maw and start cleaning those teeth.

Alternatively, you could make your dental assistant do it; looks like you weren't the only one to get dragged into this farce. The question is, which one is handling the sharp pointy objects, and which one is sticking their hand into that mouth?

Also, it's not really a vegan dinosaur, that was a great big lie. And it's very, very hungry -- now might be a good time to run.

PHASE III

[ 1300 ] Hope you weren't doing anything important (like sticking your hand into the mouth of a dinosaur), because someone is now throwing a blindfold over your eyes and hustling you right into the basement. A couple of twists and turns later, and you're being shoved into what appears to be an underground... peacock fighting ring? With a jaunty peacock headband on and none of your weapons on you, it seems as though you've been mistaken for a particularly ugly peacock and have been tossed into the ring.

Look out though. Those peacocks look mean. They'll go straight for the eyes if they get the chance, and will peck away merrily at your head. Of course, the walls aren't that high all things considered (they're peacocks), so it probably wouldn't be that hard to escape the ring.

(Or, if you manage to find your way down there yourself, you can always join in on the ludicrously outlandish betting pool. It might be a good way to get some cash -- if you bet on the right peacock.

Actually, is that Mr. T-Bone in the crowd too? Someone get the quack out of here!)

PHASE IV

[ 1600 ] There's someone whispering.

It's a quiet, throaty whisper, and no matter where you are in the ViViD level, you can hear it. Sometimes, it's clearer than others. Sometimes, it can barely be heard at all. But it's always there, whispering, "Come closer. Come closer. Come closer."

If you should gather up your courage and follow those whispers, they will lead you to a... bird. Upon seeing you, the bird will begin to speak again in that throaty whisper, this time detailing the destruction of your world, down to the tiniest of details, such as the look on your best friend's face as they died, or the last words of your most important person. It's almost hypnotic, so much so that you can't pull away --

And just like that, the bird squawks, and it's over. What was that about? Hopefully nobody else heard all of that.

BONUS

[ xxxx ] You go to speak with the vet, whether to complain about your treatment at the hands of the others, the fact that you had to play dino dentistry or to let him know that there's an illegal peacock fighting ring below his practice, and before you know it there's talk of "just to be safe" and "you never know what someone with an attitude like that will do" -- which, what? All of a sudden Dr. T-Bone and his receptionist are shoving you into a cone of shame. How embarrassing! And no matter what you do, it just won't come off.

In fact, if nothing else, it seems magnetically attracted to the walls and anyone else wearing one. If one of those poor fools happen to be within a ten foot radius of you, prepare yourselves for a massive collision. What a pain, right? It seems like the cones won't come off until you (and your magnetic partner) get out of this confounded level. If only you could find the exit (and Fluffy too -- where'd he get off to?)

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme! ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's Ninth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

⊲⊲⊲ phase one

[ Someone doesn't seem to be pleased with the situation, especially when she's grabbed and nearly forced to get shots. In fact, she's trying to wriggle her way out to no avail, completely frustrated as she tries. ]

go!

[ ... But she's not able to, considering that she's a small, petite, frail girl. Send help? ]

⊲⊲⊲ phase four

[ She doesn't seem to flinch at the bird's prophetic words as she listens, emptiness in her eyes as she spits that out with disgust before it's done, letting out a frustrated huff as she whips her head angrily. ]

⊲⊲⊲ wildcard

[ Something else you want to play out that don't fall into these two prompts? Hit me up! ]

Let who die like what?

[If she means Shirou, yes let him die. This is a legitimate action.]

Onii-chan. [ She puts a blatant emphasis on his name. ]

But why do you want to know, Archer?

Call it a simple curiosity.

[Nothing more. No really, if Shirou was going to die, Archer would like to know how.]

Then I don't want to tell you.

[ She replies with a frustrated huff. She knows exactly who Archer is, but she doesn't want him using that information to his advantage... or at all. ]

Are you the only one here? [ From Fuyuki, that is. She's curious. ]

No, I'm not. [He shakes his head. Though it's a useless gesture.] That idiot and Sakura are around. And, of course, everyone's favorite dog.

... Everyone's favorite dog? [ She raises a brow curiously. But she's sure "that idiot" refers to Shirou. ]

Who's that?

........

[Okay, Illya probably didn't know. Which was fine.]

Lancer.

Oh, so he's here too? Maybe I should bully him a bit if I see him, seeing that you called him a dog... I bet he would be the one who is more suitable for a collar than me.

[ She's still bitter about earlier. ]

illyasviel von einzbern | fate/stay night

IV

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I

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Wildcard, 2ish...because I can.

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