//TESTDRIVE9.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE9.0.EXE

Hey there! Did you know that yearly check-ups are the best preventative medicine you can give to your darling CYbuddy? Their health is of the utmost importance and from the Pomeranian to the Velociraptor, it's so very necessary to give your CYbuddy what he or she needs to be as happy and healthy as can be. After all, CYbuddies are the first and last defense in the war against loneliness, so you must do your best to protect the ones you have! You wouldn't want to be a friendless CYbuddy-less loser, would you? Through thick and thin, rain or shine, your CYbuddy will love you forever. And ever. And ever. Do not disappoint your CYbuddy. You blink and suddenly find yourself in what looks like a doctor's waiting room, completely alone aside from the robot receptionist. Posters line the walls in various degrees of friendliness. Actually, is this the vet? It kind of looks like the vet. In fact, when you look down towards your lap, there will be a creature snoozing comfortably on you. Really, how did you not notice? The creature's collar names him Fluffy. (That's a dumb name, why did you name your pet Fluffy? Be more creative!) If you decide to call out to the receptionist, they will ignore you, but soon after you will hear clacking of sharp nails on the floor as someone -- or something -- comes out of the back room. No worries, it's just the doctor. Greetings! My name is Thelonious T-Bone the Third and I will be Fluffy's doctor today. I will take good care of your dear Fluffy and be right back to you with him or her in a jiffy. You can, of course, completely trust me for I am the best in the business! No other Velociraptor can treat and heal pets as well as I, most certainly. But there is one tiny little thing, you see. My nurse is out sick today and my hands are too small and dangerous to work well without accidentally killing your poor pet. So, to make up for this, I will need you to be my nurse today. Do you think you can handle that?

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I [ 0900 ] Welcome to ViViD's state of the art pet care simulator. It looks like everyone is ready and willing to get started -- maybe a little too eager to get started. There seems to have been a minor misunderstanding actually and Dr. T-Bone seems to think that... well, that you're the pet. Didn't he see Fluffy's collar? (Still, such a dumb name!) If you don't think fast, you're likely to be shoved into a kennel or forced into getting really uncomfortable shots (to prevent rabies, you see; side effects include dizziness, nausea, sprouting animal ears for a few hours and the increased desire to bite people). At least you'll have company since it looks like this mistake is happening to everyone. Might as well get cozy and get to know the people stuck in the kennels next to you while you're here. PHASE II [ 1200 ] It's time to actually be the nurse! And time to treat one of Dr. T-Bone's most prominent clients. You will be led to, well, a dinosaur -- a T-Rex to be exact. And you will be told that your job is to take care of its teeth. That's right. Someone has to clean all of those teeth. And it looks like you're the lucky sap who got the job. Don't worry, the Tyrannosaurus Rex's name tag proclaims it to be vegan (and to go by the name of Sir Gadzooks) so it should be perfectly safe to reach into that gaping maw and start cleaning those teeth. Alternatively, you could make your dental assistant do it; looks like you weren't the only one to get dragged into this farce. The question is, which one is handling the sharp pointy objects, and which one is sticking their hand into that mouth? Also, it's not really a vegan dinosaur, that was a great big lie. And it's very, very hungry -- now might be a good time to run. PHASE III [ 1300 ] Hope you weren't doing anything important (like sticking your hand into the mouth of a dinosaur), because someone is now throwing a blindfold over your eyes and hustling you right into the basement. A couple of twists and turns later, and you're being shoved into what appears to be an underground... peacock fighting ring? With a jaunty peacock headband on and none of your weapons on you, it seems as though you've been mistaken for a particularly ugly peacock and have been tossed into the ring. Look out though. Those peacocks look mean. They'll go straight for the eyes if they get the chance, and will peck away merrily at your head. Of course, the walls aren't that high all things considered (they're peacocks), so it probably wouldn't be that hard to escape the ring. (Or, if you manage to find your way down there yourself, you can always join in on the ludicrously outlandish betting pool. It might be a good way to get some cash -- if you bet on the right peacock. Actually, is that Mr. T-Bone in the crowd too? Someone get the quack out of here!) PHASE IV [ 1600 ] There's someone whispering. It's a quiet, throaty whisper, and no matter where you are in the ViViD level, you can hear it. Sometimes, it's clearer than others. Sometimes, it can barely be heard at all. But it's always there, whispering, "Come closer. Come closer. Come closer." If you should gather up your courage and follow those whispers, they will lead you to a... bird. Upon seeing you, the bird will begin to speak again in that throaty whisper, this time detailing the destruction of your world, down to the tiniest of details, such as the look on your best friend's face as they died, or the last words of your most important person. It's almost hypnotic, so much so that you can't pull away -- And just like that, the bird squawks, and it's over. What was that about? Hopefully nobody else heard all of that. BONUS [ xxxx ] You go to speak with the vet, whether to complain about your treatment at the hands of the others, the fact that you had to play dino dentistry or to let him know that there's an illegal peacock fighting ring below his practice, and before you know it there's talk of "just to be safe" and "you never know what someone with an attitude like that will do" -- which, what? All of a sudden Dr. T-Bone and his receptionist are shoving you into a cone of shame. How embarrassing! And no matter what you do, it just won't come off. In fact, if nothing else, it seems magnetically attracted to the walls and anyone else wearing one. If one of those poor fools happen to be within a ten foot radius of you, prepare yourselves for a massive collision. What a pain, right? It seems like the cones won't come off until you (and your magnetic partner) get out of this confounded level. If only you could find the exit (and Fluffy too -- where'd he get off to?) [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme! ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's Ninth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

Shinya Kogami | Psycho-Pass

[carnivorously]

Phase I

[Being treated like he's a dog is something Kogami is actually used to. Just minus the collars and actually being treated like a dog. At least he's used to being treated less than human thanks to his status as a latent criminal. However, the collar and the shots, damn was that all necessary?]

Is this some sort of new therapy they're doing? [He scoffs.] News to me as I'm pretty sure it won't work.

[It would probably only raise crime coefficients.]

Phase III

[Man or peacock, Kogami will take it on. This is all a joke, he's aware, but he may as well humor his captors, but not for very long. Let them know who they're dealing with. Of course, he's aware that he's somehow been mistaken, but this is Kogami.

Of course, after a few rounds, Kogami will escape, getting rid of that awful looking peacock headband. Though he's mostly escaping because the pen unfortunately reminds him of an awful hunting game he played with an android that... did not end well at all.]


Bonus Phase

[Witness Kogami in his cone of shame. It's oddly fitting for a hound...]

I would honestly like to know who's idea of a joke this is.

[Because now it's gone just a little too far. He was amused for a bit, now he's not.]

bonus

[condoner]

[ She's an Inspector, not an Enforcer... yet, here she is with the cone of shame around her neck. And that's when she hits Kogami by accident; it's not her fault, but the cone's. ]

Ah— I'm so— [ ... She would be surprised, but here's somebody she used to look up to. Akane never thought about what to tell him if they ever meet again, and she can't think of anything right now either. She just stares at him, instead. ]

[carnivorously]

[Kogami is slightly annoyed when someone bumps into him, but the way the cones are acting it's not whoever bumped into him's fault at all. He was just going to attempt to get out of whatever magnetic lock they were in, but that voice... that face...

He goes wide eyed for a bit when he sees her. The girl who is to enforce justice on him when they meet again, and never did he think so soon. It's a hallucination, it has to be. Just like all those times he hallucinates Makishima by his side, this could be a thing. But her presence in a soothing one instead of one that causes him to jolt.

He blinks once heavily, wanting to rub his eyes, but the cone is making it hard. Still, her image is still there. This is no hallucination.]

Tsunemori.

[Never did he dream they'd meet again like this. He thought the next time they met she'd have a Dominator pointed at him.]

DAMN I WISH HE WAS SHIRTLESS IN THIS THREAD TOO-- i mean

[condoner]

[ Akane knows when to set aside her personal emotions. This is business, and they have to take care of the whole cone of shame thing and leave this clinic to be able to clear the stage. There's no need to suddenly start crying and maybe hitting him on the chest for being a stupid jerk.

But she can do that in her mind.

Outwardly, she remains as calm as possible. Her droopy eyes signifying that she means business. ]

If you want to get out of here, then we'll have to work together.

[ She says it so placidly, not even looking Kogami in the eye. ]

it can be like oprah where everyone gets a shirtless kogami

[carnivorously]

[He doesn't blame her for averting her eyes. After all, he betrayed her... twice. Still, in a sense he was able to say his goodbyes to her and that was the plan. Out of all the people he hurt, he said goodbye to the one who impacted him most. The one who he thought he could change and be a real detective, but the way things went, there was no way he could have acted within the jurisdiction of Sibyl. In fact, it's nothing short of a miracle he was able to escape and do what he did.

But like her, he shows no emotion. He's used to locking all of them up within him with a straight face.]

There can probably be a way to unlock ourselves if we use the walls as an opposing force to the magnetic force within these collars.

[It'd mean they'd be stuck against the wall, but it's a start. Best case scenario they would be free and be able to find a way out of these things.]

Bless oprah thank u

[condoner]

[ Akane just nods accordingly. Despite their current differences, she still holds Kogami in high respects. He's smart and very capable, and in fact, Kogami may have figured out how to get out of here already. He's always a few steps ahead... ]

Alright. Then... Let's gp with your idea.

[ She nods again, this time signifying that she'll let him take the lead. ]

she's here to help us all

[carnivorously]

On my mark, head to that wall.

[The one nearest to them. Since she's smaller she'll probably be more inclined to be pulled by the magnetic force. If not, then he'll be dragging her with him which would mean they'll have to do something else, but for now plan A.]

I'll head to the one opposite.

[And he turns to face that wall, though it's not fun to try to turn in these damned cones. Still better him than her.]

Now go.

[And he'll be moving towards his wall now...]

He should lose his shirt when he loses the cone too

[condoner]

[ Yup. Yup. That's the plan.

She nods again before Kogami gives the signal. There's a bit of a struggle as she heads to her wall, but she manages. ]

it can totally happen

[carnivorously]

[Well, they got apart. And he's not stuck to the wall, but he can feel that magnetic force.]

Let's find a way out.

[Because right now it beats talking about things. There's probably a lot of things she wants to say, but now's not really the time for a serious conversation. Other things take priority.]

PHASE III (Hello ... channing...tatum... can his shirt be off in this thread)

[upheavals]

[ Walter is thrown into the same ring as Kougami, pushed to do battle when he obviously does not want to. He looks a bit bewildered as he meets eyes with the ... older, buffer man.

He's not scared by any means. After all, he's faced scarier (demons!), but it's the first time he's been pushed into a ring with another human (or so he supposes -- demons often take shape as humans to fool their prey).

His own face is covered in all kinds of cuts, likely from the claws of other peacocks he's done battle with already. ]

H-hoy. Can you understand me?

lmf yes he can have his shirt off

[carnivorously]

[Either this will be an easy battle or his prey is going to run. Fighting other humans, it gets Kogami oddly excited. Of course he liked hunting down criminals more, but this kind of gets him the same thrill. Kind of.

He's about to move in to fight the other man, until he hears those words. Kogami is still in a battle stance, but he'll at least be kind enough to respond for now. It's not like the many times where his life was in danger before.]

I can. What is it you want to say?

/screams like a middle-aged woman sitting in the magic mike xll theater

[upheavals]

[ He's too full of adrenaline to show any signs of relief at his words. After all, the man looked about ready to charge him, which tells Walter that it'd be a good idea to keep his guard up.

He steps, putting his practiced footwork to use, and begins to slowly circle the ring. He maintains that distance, maintaining eye contact. ]

I've no idea what you're in here for, but I'm not interested in taking any part in this tournament if there's no point to winning at all. If I don't have to fight you, I'll use the opportunity to look for an escape.

Otherwise we'll both just be fighting our way through circles.

if he ends up getting a job as a stripper i'll laugh

[carnivorously]

[It could all be a trap, which is why Kogami is in his stance, ready to lunge at any moment. Sweet words are what villains use to get out of situations and get the upper hand. Then again, Kogami is no good guy either which is why he can read said 'villains'. Seeing the other man move around the ring, Kogami follows him step for step to let him say more of his piece.]

So you're in here just interested in whatever prize there is. Maybe there is none, but you should at least be ready to defend yourself. If you want your chance to escape, it shouldn't be too hard to scale these walls.

[And what's what Kogami plans on doing when his amusement of this situation runs out, which will probably be very soon.]

please, i hope so

[upheavals]

[ He's not interested in having to answer to his opponent. Sure, he's hoping for a prize, but that prize is simply getting answers out of that dumb dinosaur. ]

I never said I wasn't prepared to fight. I fully intend on doing so, if there's no other way of getting out of here.

Come to that, what about you? You don't seem the type to be taken prisoner so easily. Are you staying?

[ Currently, the crowd watching is throwing garbage into the ring. They're displeased with how the peacocks are just chirping at each other rather than dueling it out like they're supposed to. ]

[carnivorously]

I'm staying for answers and partially for amusement.

[He wants answers too, though part of him wonders if he can get answers via these fights. Most people would run, but Kogami faces his challenges head on. However, at this time fighting is getting him no where which is why his amusement is now quickly running out.]

If you want to escape, tell me and I'll buy you time.

[upheavals]

Amusement, you say... [ This isn't his idea of a thrill, but to each their own. ]

How are you intending to "buy me time"? [ Just as he says this, someone chucks full cup of soda at his head, soaking him from head to toe. He's gonna have to deal with being sticky for a while. ] Guh!!

Wh-what sort of madness is this?! Who are these people?!

[ Now the entire crowd is chanting "fight, fight, fight"! ]

[carnivorously]

I was going to find a way, but the crowd seems to have its wants now.

[And Kogami charges towards him, not before grabbing him and putting him into a lock.]

If we can get to a wall, I can help push you over.

[But they have a play to put on. For now, Kogami is going to do everything not to hurt the other man. It's no fun if his opponent doesn't want to fight nor are they actually his prey.]

phase I PLEASE keep your shirt on

[endgamer]

[There was so big joke just waiting to be made about someone like him being stuck in a kennel, but Kagari is having a hard time coming up with it. It's bad enough that they got the drop on him and shoved him into a kennel in the first place, but he is determined not to stay locked up in it for long.

There's not a lot he can do from the inside though, except slam a fist onto the door and try, again, to make someone see at least a little bit of reason. He's barely listening to anyone else stuck in the same situation, focused on getting out as he is.

When it doubt, raise your voice more at the medically unqualified dinosaur.]

Hey, you hack! I'm not actually a dog, so you can quit messing around any time now!

are you refusing Oprah's free gift of a shirtless Kogami?

[carnivorously]

[Kogami knows that voice... and it almost hurts him to hear. Not because of that raised voice or that fist pounding on the door, but because he's sure that Kagari had passed away. No trace of what happened to him, just that they found his Dominator and that Sibyl tried to say he escaped. However, no one in Division I believed that.]

They're just treating us how anyone else would treat us. Can't you see that?

[And instead of sentimentalism, he uses dark humor. Emotions are hard sometimes, yo.]

somebody has to stand up for shirts here

[endgamer]

[What he really doesn't want is anyone acting like this is okay, but then the voice speaking to him finally registers. Kagari pauses with his hand halfway to banging on the door again and blinks. Surely he was just hearing things.

Though, not a lot of people would have that sense of humor about this situation, either.]

... Ko? You're here too?

i guess...

[carnivorously]

Yeah, found my way here then into a kennel.

[Damn, he thought being locked up was bad enough, but this tops it. Makes him grateful that latent criminals weren't treated this badly, though sometimes it'd feel similar in that sense.

But that does make Kogami curious. Why is Kagari here and more importantly, how.]

Though I would like to know how you managed your way here. More specifically, how you're even here at all.

[Basically, are you really Kagari?]

it probably won't kill him to stay dressed for once

[endgamer]

[It's a small comfort to know that Kogami wound up in the same situation, and he thinks he might even laugh about it later. Once this is all over and done with, and he can get over talking to someone he had known for sure he'd never see again, of course.]

Beats me. Of all the places I thought I might end up, you know, after.

[Kagari makes a small, half-hearted 'cut' gesture at his throat to himself. It's awkward trying to mention your own death after the fact, it really is.]

This definitely wasn't one of them. I'm just as clueless as anyone else about all this, honestly.

[carnivorously]

[His words and his gestures all confirm that it's Kagari he's speaking with. Kogami knows he's alive yet here he is talking with the dead in a dog kennel. No online game could ever make him think this was a reality.]

It brings up a slew of other questions if that's the case. However, first things first is to find a way out.

[He'll at least try to put his priorities in order.]

[endgamer]

[And wasn't that a familiar way of handling things. Kagari laughs softly to himself; Kogami is as focused as ever, even in an unbelievable situation.]

Great-- I already feel like I've been in here for way too long. So, you got any good ideas about how to bust out of these things?

[Instead of hitting the door again, this time he actually tries messing with it from the inside, seeing if there's anything helpful around the latches.]

[carnivorously]

[These kennels don't seem all too advanced as Kogami reaches his fingers through to mess with the latch and the door opens allowing him to get out.]

It doesn't appear the things here are too advanced, but I still believe we should exercise caution.

[Because they still ended up in a dog kennel anyway. He waits to see if Kagari can get out or if he needs Kogami's help.]