//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

pyrrha nikos | rwby

[reuser]

► ｔｈｅａｔｒｅ ｉ．

[ . . .

. . . .

Growing bright as a beet, Pyrrha sinks down in her seat and purposefully avoids anyone’s eye. It would be rude to leave, okay. ]

► ｔｈｅａｔｒｅ ｉｉ．

[ Pyrrha had quite been enjoying the inspiring, heroic tale of the robot’s search for cheese - making her rather hungry, admittedly, as she digs deeper into her popcorn bag - but she had been unprepared for the movie to swing into a montage of her decidedly unfulfilling love life. Shots of her and Jaune on Beacon’s ballroom balcony are interspersed between the robot chasing a cheese truck down a mountain. Doing her best not to turn as ashen as she feels, Pyrrha will quietly nudge the person next to her. ]

Pardon me. -- Did you see that?

[ She’s not talking about the butterfly-inspired alien descending from the sky to offer the robot a home in the Cheese Kingdom. ]

► ｂｏｎｕｓ．

[ Guess what, people in the immediate vicinity. Pyrrha accidentally dropped her milkduds all over the floor. So now this is happening: ]

BEND
OVER,
TROLLOP—

[ Pyrrha looks on, wide-eyed, as the robot approaches her. Its eyes are a menacing, unkind red and it waves a paddle in the air. ]

ii

[kicksilver]

[ Well, there wasn't much excitement in this film than he expected, so he's rather disappointed. The idea of a robot being the main character was interesting, but then things got boring when feelings happened... and he pretty much stopped paying attention.

But his attention is called when the person next to him nudges him. Woah! Unexpected! Total coincidence!

He acts more shocked than anything - and can't even answer her question. ]

Um, wow! Fancy seeing you here.

[reuser]

[ Likewise, Pyrrha had not expected to see Mercury next to her. Pleasantly surprised, her wary expression dissolves into a smile, relieved and glad all at once. Aside from him being a one-time sparring partner, they had not interacted overly, but - well, any port in a storm, right? ]

Hello again.

[ —hey, it applies. ]

I didn’t know you were in here too. [ She would have said hello (again!) a lot earlier if she had. ]

[kicksilver]

[ Oh, Pyrrha. You're too friendly. He smiles at her greeting, and shyly waves a hand. ]

Hello indeed. I didn't know I was here until now, either.

[ And he just chuckles at his own awful sense of humour. ] So, are you okay? Movie's too boring, or what?

bonus

[beaconed]

Man, that was a weird movie!

[ Guess who's got two thumbs and is kind of oblivious to what Pyrrha is about to get herself into. This guy. ]

Pyrrha, come on, what are you waiting for? I wanna see the next movie. You know, the one with the ponies!

[reuser]

—Jaune.

[ Trying and failing to be discreet, she nudges his attention toward the encroaching robot. Her expression is quite akin to a deer trapped in the headlights, with bambi eyes to match. ]

[beaconed]

[ He turns his attention to the robot, then looks back at Pyrrha again. Why does she look so funny? He alternates his glances between the robot and Pyrrha a few more times. ]

Oh-- yeah. I know, right? Can you believe how advanced these things are? Hah. It's just like in one of those movies! Hey, think we can get one of these for our place? I wouldn't mind having a... [ The robot ignores Jaune and continues encroaching on Pyrrha. This is where it's starting to look a little weird to him. ] ...a....

--uh, just. One question. [ He raises his finger as if he's in class, then points at the robot's paddle. ] Wwwhat's that for, exactly...?

i.

[deontology]

[He cannot believe he got dragged into this, he cannot believe he's here, he's leaving the moment the ponies start dying vividly--

And then he spies her on his way out, arching an eyebrow and striding over to her. He doubts the people he's blocking will mind that they don't get a full, horrifying view of this orgy, but he really also doesn't care.]

Stand up. It is time to leave.

[reuser]

[ Taking Sousei’s timely intervention as a command, and one she is happy to obey, Pyrrha rises to her feet with all the surety of a well-trained soldier. As he leaves, she will follow, her strides long and self-assured. Her tall, unflinching posture is at clear odds with the embarrassed girl who had been half-sunken into her seat a few seconds ago. ]

Right.

[ And her tone is at odds with both things, polite and a bit tentative. ]

Thank you.

[deontology]

[She holds herself like a proper soldier, so it is easy for Sousei to lead the way out of there (because, as ever, he holds himself like a proper commander, arms crossed behind his back as he leaves the ridiculous theater).

A shake of his head.]

There's no need. [For thanks, that is--all he did was tell her to get up. More importantly:]

You cannot allow them to trap you into situations here. There are those that are more dangerous than that.

ii

[goldentouch]

[Well, he saw something. Quite a bit of something, in fact. Of course, his something is not the same as Pyrrha's something. Rather, it's shots of Souji spending alone time with a certain young woman in his life... and it's never the same girl in any two consecutive shots.]

...I have no knowledge of any of these events.

[reuser]

[ Ignorant to the possibility that Souji might be seeing something different than her, Pyrrha promptly looks very concerned. Like, on a scale of one to volcanically concerned, she would have covered Pompeii’s sky in ashes by now. It hadn’t even have the courtesy of showing what had come after; her stomach clenches to think of that night’s earlier events.

Her back wilts, if only a bit. ]

No, I guess you wouldn’t...

[ Considering he came in for the movie and is (not really) seeing her mess of a love life instead, an apology is the least she can do. ]

I’m sorry.

[goldentouch]

[Oh god, this is not happening. He meets a perfectly nice, beautiful girl, and the first thing she gets to see is his septuple-dipping caught on film somehow. And why is she apologizing?]

Yeah, I...

[Even in the dark of the theater, it's clear his face is beet-red as he hands her what's left of his jumbo popcorn.]

...You can have this. I lost my appetite.

Bonus!

[heartboop]

[TACKLES THAT BOT LIKE A BOSS!]

You leave her alone! [Starts punching it in the head while it whacks at her...thighs?!]

TAKE THAT YOU TART!

[Nora grabs it's arm and tries to break it by tugging on it in an unnatural way.]

It...better...be...STRAWBERRY!!

[reuser]

—Nora!

[ Seriously, teammate, where did you even come from. For a moment, Pyrrha can only watch, utterly flabbergasted by the ridiculousness of all this. It is only a moment, fortunately - and then she’s kicking into gear herself.

After all, Nora is assaulting the theatre staff.

Pyrrha grabs her by the back of her collar and pulls off the thing. ]

Nora! Nora. It’s down. You’ve won.

[heartboop]

[She came...to the rescue!

When pulled away, Nora is still swinging at the...air. Oh! She won?!

She makes a triumphant pose, both hand at her hips as she laughs at the robotic bodies on the floor!]

That should show them not to mess with us!

[Then she turns to Pyrrha with a bright smile.]

How'd you like the movie? They're great, right?! Mine was full of explosions and fight scenes! It was AWESOME! I hope there's a sequel!

ii

[ruby_roses]

[Ruby had actually had a long day at the shop, and had fallen asleep a half hour into the movie. When she starts awake she just sees something... weird she doesn't understand. What's a China?]

See what? I think I dozed off...

[reuser]

[ China is a type of dishware, young warrior.

Happily, Pyrrha recognises Ruby and doesn’t chide her on falling asleep in the middle of a movie. Rather, she’s all smiles, chipper words and even more chipper gestures - because nothing like a dorky wave of greeting to sell the essence of ‘hello again!’ ]

Yeah, it was pretty dull. You didn’t miss anything.

[ She’s totally covering, btw. Pyrrha is just grateful Ruby didn’t see anything. ]

Popcorn?

[ She tips the bucket’s rim toward Ruby, offering. ]

[ruby_roses]

[Sounds like the most fragile kingdom ever. Good thing Yang doesn't go clubbing there.]

[Ruby cocks her head for a second, wondering what she missed... but she's quickly distracted by the offer of popcorn.]

Sure! And... sorry for falling asleep... had a long busy day at the shop.

i

[masakados]

[—the emotional levels of discomfort in this theatre just shot through the roof soon as all the ponies died. Not like Naoki's the exception, but his attention's on everyone else right now. Rubbing his temple like he's warding off a headache or maybe his senses, he looks around.

Ah, that girl to the front of him in the row, sinking down in her chair... He reaches out to tap her shoulder lightly and if she turns she'll... well, she'll see the glowing of those markings all along his body first, but then a wry smile.]

I think I'm gonna bail— how about you?

ngl, I got super excited to see this in my inbox *_*

[reuser]

[ It’s a testament to her composure that Pyrrha doesn’t flinch when she’s suddenly tapped, nor does she react to a spiky, (possibly?) shirtless glow lamp sitting behind her. All of that is dismissed in favour of his smile and it’s answered with one of her own. The flush is still high up on her cheeks, in hectic slashes, but she’s well and dignified in spite of it. ]

I think I’d be happy to join you.

[ Let’s away, Demi-fiend! OP warriors unite. ]

heehee I'M GLAD

[masakados]

[Her composure is indeed impressive-- he usually gets at least a stare or a sputter but it's not a bad feeling to get none. Naoki grins, pushing himself out of his seat and shifting down the row to wait for her.

He'll speak up, voice low, when she joins him:]

I can't never really like falsely advertised movies. [let's get the heck on out of here-- if he's embarrassed by what's still playing on the screen, he hides it well]

Bonus!

[hollower]

[Oh hell no. There's not a chance in hell she's going to sit idly by and watch these sick tin cans abuse yet another young woman. They're on the prowl, and she's had her fair share of undeserved "punishment" earlier today. Hence the reason why Perona's opted to standing or floating in midair with her powers instead of actually sitting. She's heard yelps and smacks coming from the theater and lobby alike, and held her tongue thus far.

But this? This is the last straw. She's endured long enough, and these shits need to be taught they're messing with the wrong people.]

Ghost rap.

[With a snap of her fingers, the tiny, and rather adorable-looking ghost she conjured up and ordered to latch onto the robot's head explodes like a miniature firecracker, and the poor machine loses most of if not its entire facial structure, sparking and fizzling before it collapses over backwards. Perona snorts, crossing her arms.]

Peh, not good enough...I wanted to blow his damn head clean off. Or at least a hole into the back of that sick mouth. Next time, then.

[reuser]

[ There were several things Pyrrha had seen today that she had never expected to see. A sweat-soaked orgy in a movie that’s supposed to be about friendship between ponies. Jaune in the women’s washroom, asking about the napkin dispenser. Nora beating up a robot with her (admittedly mighty) fists. All sorts of different kinds of people from different kinds of worlds, many of them acting as if this scenario was completely normally. So, naturally it would be capped off by a floating young woman summoning a strangely adorable apparition of some sort and using it to eradicate the robot’s head. Pyrrha only blinks, watching it collapse, before she looks back up. ]

Thank you, miss.

[ Always polite and evenly toned, even if she’s too mystified to smile. ]

I think you accomplished plenty. He won’t be getting back up any time soon.

[hollower]

[Perona wafts over before touching down on the ground and toeing the busted bot with her boot. Well, not as much damage as she wanted to do, but it'll at least keep more people safe from these lecherous slimeballs. After straightening up again, and readjusting her belongings (which are a folded up red parasol with an adorable devil motif and a patchwork teddy bear), Perona turns her attention toward the young woman she rescued and waves off her thanks lazily.]

Eeeh...I just couldn't stand watching someone else be humiliated by filth like this. [She nudges the sparking bot with her foot again, and may have not-so-discreetly stepped on a portion of it as well.] My tiny hollows aren't good enough to blow apart metal...I'd need a bigger one, but that's dangerous in an open space...

[That sounds less than idle chitchat and more like she's been considering it...]