//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[reuser]

Boring?

[ Pyrrha sounds genuinely confused by the question, eyes flicking back between Mercury and the screen. With the auditorium’s lights darkened to nothing, shadows are thrown across his face and hers, lights and darks from the screen illuminating every curve and contour.

Without needing to give it much thought, she waves a hand in a telling no gesture. The problem wasn’t that the scenes of her life failed to hold her interest. Entirely the opposite. ]

I guess it’s just too familiar.

[ (Feel free, Mercury, to assume she’s talking about the robot’s adventures.) ]

I’m fine, though. Thank you for asking.

[kicksilver]

Familiar, huh?

[ He pops a piece of candy in his mouth, focusing back to the movie screen. He's not going to tell her what he thinks she's imagining right now. ]

No problem. We're sorta classmates, right? Gotta look out for each other.

[reuser]

[ Happy to hear that from him, Pyrrha smiles. It's a warm, honest thing. ]

Were you settling in okay at Beacon?

[kicksilver]

[ oh, he nods. he nods, already. he's definitely settling in well. ]

We got lost a couple of times looking for our rooms. [ he laughs. it's a pretty funny story if you're not faking it. ] But we've managed to get the hang of it.

[reuser]

[ Sympathetically: ] It can be quite difficult to adjust to the size.

[ There’s a reason, after all, that Beacon was housing the tournament this year and not one of the other academies - and why Pyrrha, among others, had crossed regions in order to attend.

At the tail end of her words, she offers him some of her popcorn. ]

[kicksilver]

Why, thank you.

[ He gives her a two finger a salute before partaking of some popcorn. If he had a hat, he'd have tipped it. ]

Now, about what I saw. It was pretty nice, actually. Did you-- [ Awkward pause, and he whispers: ] like it?

[reuser]

[ Mercury, why. Pyrrha has only ever tried to be nice to you!

Generally composed, she flinches now, almost bodily and with a distinct tucking of her shoulders. The question draws colour back into her cheeks, brightening in obvious slashes. She fumbles for words, quite noticeably, before managing to cohere half a sentence together. Marvel at the magic. ]

I suppose, artistically, it’s very - [ ahaha this is the worst thing to ever happen ever ] - audacious.

[kicksilver]

[ He chuckles, giving her a light pat on the shoulder. ]

Just kidding. It must've been something.

Maybe you should do something after this to distract yourself. Like... [ A beat, as he looks up at the ceiling to think. He looks oh so innocent. ] Spar?

[reuser]

[ The smile she turns in his direction is slightly quirked, slightly crooked, because - subtle, man. Real subtle. ]

I don’t think there’s enough room in the lobby.

[ It’s a casual sort of observation. She’s open to suggestions!! ]

[kicksilver]

I'm just kidding. I'd lose, anyway.

[ Oohh, burn, Pyrrha. Burn. ]

[reuser]

[ The wry quirk to her lips doesn’t fade. It doesn’t occur to her to be suspicious but Pyrrha’s amusement borders on edged. If he wants a rematch, all he has to do is say so; but Mercury previously demonstrated an unwillingness to waste energy on unwinnable fights that drifted on nonchalance. She isn’t sure what to make of it.

Still, she can’t bring herself to modestly refute his claim. Because, come on. Instead, in an even, silvery tone, ]

I guess if you’re too scared, I can’t blame you.

[ Yeah, sometimes she’s as playful and irreverent as any other teenager. Only sometimes, though. ]

[kicksilver]

[ You can actually see him debating what kind of response to answer.

His lips are pursed for a couple of moments as he looks thoughtful. Then he suddenly looks a bit excited at the thought, then scared, then, well, neutral.

As neutral as this smug bastard can be, anyway. He still has a smirk on. ]

I guess I am scared. I'd blame myself, too.

[reuser]

[ You are one weird guy, Mercury. And this is coming from someone who rooms with Nora Valkyrie.

Regardless, when Pyrrha speaks again, her tone is kinder, more encouraging. ]

If you ever want a rematch, all you have to do is ask.

[kicksilver]

[ He chuckles, and points a finger at Pyrrha, his wrists facing upwards. ]

You just want to see me lose, huh? I'm so hurt.

[reuser]

[ Gently, she reminds him of one very important fact: ]

You know, we never actually found out if you would lose.

tell adi what!!!

[kicksilver]

I would have.

[ Shrugs his shoulders once more, then just rests an elbow on the armrest, then his chain on his elbow. ]

World renowned fighter vs... Mercury. I don't know, the odds are very telling.

That I have........... never had to edit a tag for an error in my life, that's what!

[reuser]

I think that presumption does you less credit than you deserve.

[ His attitude is a bit saddening, but she's less about to admit that. Either she's being challenged by people who wish to dethrone her utterly (yes, we're thinking of you, Cardin and CRDL) or she's being deflected as obviously superior.

Spars used to be friendly. Once. Maybe. -- Or maybe that had only been to her. ]

[kicksilver]

Well.

[ He hums again in thought. ]

I guess we could try some time. We'll be here for a while, anyway.

[reuser]

[ Pyrrha had been so caught up in the conversation that she had failed to notice the movie transitioning from its ending to the credits. The wall lights slowly flare back to life as people around them begin to shuffle out of their seats and down the aisle stairwells. ]

Yes, that does seem to be the case.

[ Here for a while, and she still hasn’t seen Ren. ]

A spar will be a good way to pass the time.

[kicksilver]

Hm...

[ If there's anything Mercury was good at, it was being observant. ]

Waiting for some— no. . . looking for someone?

[reuser]

[ Without a reason to do otherwise, Pyrrha answers honestly. ]

One of my teammates at Beacon. I've seen everyone else, but not him.

[ Admitting that, she can't help but look a tad worried. If what the initiators had told her is true, that means Ren is— he's... ]

[kicksilver]

You're worried.

[ He says it rather objectively instead of actually sounding worried for her. ]

Emerald and Cinder aren't here either. But I'm sure they're fine.

[reuser]

Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise.

[ He may be sure they’re fine, but that’s not going to stop Pyrrha Nikos from apologising!! ]

[kicksilver]

[ Waving a hand dismissively. ]

If I see them, I'll let them know you said hi. But I'm not worried, really.

[reuser]

[ Well, if he’s not worried, then she ought to not worry him in turn. Instead, she nods toward the people milling out of the auditorium. ]

Shall we?