ioculus | //TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000

Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))

"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE

THEATER I

[ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER II

[ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III

[ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER IV

[ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)

BONUS - THEATER V

[ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Threaded | Flat

[There was no doubt in his mind that staged entertainment had only gotten worse with the passage of time. Gilgamesh sat through film after film with a look of gross discontent, unabated by the looks of the dying marring a few of the films. For the most part, he was bored with not only the repetitiveness of some of the performances during the movies, but the constant emotional nature of every undertone presented.

The scene of McJack's flashback to playing ball with his son in the explosive glass factory didn't brighten his mood or cause any elated feelings. He only felt irritated and stick on his elbow, where someone had spilled soda and not cleaned it properly.]

Mmmph. Is this what passes for entertainment in this day and age, you cretins?

[There may or may not be a shudder in the theater as a sword flies out of nowhere and stabs a BDSM cleaning robot against a wall.]

Theater 2

[Anavoth's not exactly distressed, but... it's really bizarre that someone managed to splice his memories into the movie. Not to mention he's pretty sure one of those memories was a dream. They'd obviously been digging around in his head for this. Why him? And why... why? It's not like it's adding to the plot in any way... When he notices they also decided to make every corpse resemble Ym-Kaden, he takes the opportunity to turn to you instead.]

Is this thin' actually makin' any sense to you? [Anavoth, lower your voice.]

Theater 3

[This movie's also ridiculous, but in a far less depressing way. The ficus is in the running for 'best character of all time' when one of his memories interrupts the action again. Anavoth's irritated at first, because they were actually at a good part, but that gives way to horror as he figures out what he's actually looking at. He can't remember Candris being destroyed, but that's clearly what this is. His teammates start dying onscreen, and he goes very still. When Memde dies, he hisses under his breath.]

(I had one fuckin' job...!)

Lobby

[A very dissatisfied movie-goer is currently knocking his head against the wall repeatedly and cursing to himself. Care to find out which film to avoid? ...Or possibly just make him stop hitting his head, that's also an option.]

Edited 2015-03-10 21:28 (UTC)

a; lobby.

[....Well, that powerpoint explanation was too long, did not read. Did not listen.]

[Once the orientation is done, Maya spends some time around the lobby, checking out the place and the movies, harassing any robots she comes across, before digging into the free food voraciously. Most popcorn, but in fact if she comes across anyone else with a different flavor of popcorn or any other food, she might be siddling a little close to them. There's a short teenaged girl up in your space! How do you proceed?]

Hey, hey, is that robo-flavored?

b; theatre v.

[Well, Maya's been watching this movie will too much attention, loudly whooping or laughing or complaining like any annoying movie goer who deserves a kick to the seat. In fact, she may have earned herself some kicks or loud shhhhs! already.]

[But nothing tops her exclamation in pure loudness when she starts seeing her own warm fuzzy scenes. Rather than look alarmed or confused that her life is somehow being broadcasted on screen, she grins and announces loudly:]

Wow, I had no idea I got so famous already! In a movie and everything!

c; robot battles.

[It was inevitable. Stuffing her face? Being loud? Dropping popcorn by accident? Oh, yes, she's brought the wrath of the bdsm cleaning bots down upon her. And after getting soundly whacked in the head with a broom, she's had enough. She takes her rightful place standing upon a theatre seat (really pushing her luck and starts proclaiming for the whole theatre to hear:]

Hey, everyone! Haven't you had enough of getting pushed around by these evil-robo jerks?! First they kidnap us here and destroy our world-- [Yeah, who didn't listen to the powerpoint presentation? THIS GIRL!], now they're beating up innocent theatre-goers for no reason! [DEFINITELY NOT THE TRAIL OF POPCORN SHE LEFT BEHIND] Are we really going to stand for this?! We have to fight back! We--

[Well, that's as far as that dramatic speech got, since one of said robots just caught up to her and gave her another sound whack with a broom - this time to the butt. With a loud scream, she topples right off the seat and onto the ground in a rather undignified heap of teenage girl.]

[Welp. That happened.]

Theater I

[He had only entered this theater for the rating. Truth be told, he didn't expect much from any of these films, but a film with an A rating just had to be a little decent. Those tended to be the award winners, right?

Wrong.

The ponies he could handle. They were stupidly cute to the point of nearly being obscene-- but, the massacre and subsequent orgy were another story entirely.

Not even half way through the flim, Cliff abruptly stood and stalked out of the theater, a 6'5" hulking behemoth of seething rage stomping out in heavy combat boots that clacked against the tacky linoleum of the stairs.

Question him if you dare, and pray that you don't have blue hair.]

Theater IV

[Tacky shoot'em ups were always good. They were even better when those raptors got involved. There was something almost cathartic about watching the misadventures of Jack an his scaley steed......except.

'Oh hell,' he thought as he witnessed a replay of a willowy blonde hurling him bodily onto the floor.

The last thing he needed was for the people in this place to watch the victory of the woman who had defeated him in a fair spar over a thousand times. He felt his face burning when her coy little smile flashed on screen and she flipped her braid over her shoulder.

If anyone gets splashed with the sticky, caffienated soda that slipped from his hands, it's so not his fault. Blame management.]

Lobby

I want a refund!

[Cliff's tone was loud and agitated as he stalked through the lobby, positively fuming. First Maria, then Mirage-- who next, his Mom?

Have a hothead who is clearly bristling to punch someone-- want to help? Hinder? Get in the way?]

Wild Card!

[Think of anything else? Hit me!]

(option 1; lobby/snacks & confections)

[there is a tall boy with his bright hair up in a ponytail inspecting all the advertisements for the films, looking pensive as he moves from screen to screen. you might spot him reaching up to touch one of the screens every now and then!

or, failing that, you might see him a little later as he tries to order popcorn.]

What do you mean, there's no salted left? Only 'realistic butter alternative'? It's green, seriously-!

(option 2; theatre iii)

[ren chooses a seat at the back row of the theatre, spending the first few minutes of the film picking through his bucket of popcorn for any kernels unsoiled by butter alternative. when that results in failure, he turns his attention to the screen.

immediately, his fingers tighten over the ends of the armrest. if you could see things from his perspective, you'd be witnessing a blue-haired woman sobbing amidst the rubble of a skyscraper, reaching out for a white-clothed arm protruding from the debris -

before something hits the ground behind her and she's gone in a flash of light. ren's eyes widen, but the movie resumes its banal excuse for a plot as if nothing had happened at all.]

one: lobby

[ Kouka is destroyed. Or, at least, that's what they told him; that everyone is dead, even his precious little princess. And yet he's here; here to try and restore Kouka to what it was, and bring back everyone in the kingdom. Even Soo-Won - though that guy's probably better off staying dead.

Some part of Hak believes that some of the others are still alive. If he's here, then they have to be. He's not giving up on Yona and the others just yet. They didn't mention anything about him being the only one here from his world, anyway. So, here he is in the lobby of the theater with his Yona senses activated, a bucket of this really yummy foreign substance (what was it called, popcorn?) in his hand as he feasts on it.

If you run into him, he'll be looking around at the different films that are happening. What are movies. This 'technology' is so confusing. ]

two: v

[ Hak went into the theater hoping to find someone from back home; instead, what he found were memories, flashbacks of happy times that don't seem as distant as they are. Traveling with his comrades, his childhood days with Soo-Won and Yona...all sorts of things play across the screen and Hak can't look away. He feels the nostalgia hit him but doesn't let it show, especially since there might be others in the theater.

But as he watches on, popcorn spills out of his bucket, without his knowledge - except it becomes his knowledge once a cleaning robot swivels on by and hits him with a goddamn paddle.

Oh boy, you weird looking human...you are messing with the Thunder Beast.

So...if you hear a lot of crashing and destruction going on in Theater V, well. Leave it to Hak to cause a commotion by destroying every Cleaning Bot who dares lay a finger on him. ]

( ooc note: hak is being taken directly from episode 12 for the tdm; when i apply, he will be taken from the latest episode! )

Edited 2015-03-11 10:09 (UTC)

THEATRE 1.
[ ah. leona had taken up her part in acting as the audience for this particular movie. they were, after all, a bit of a foreign thing to her--they were present in piltover, of course, but her role was always as more of the watched than the watcher. now, having sat through most of it…. she can pretty much confirm that watching another movie is very low on her list of "things to do when not punching things".

if you were planning on getting through the theatre to my petite equestrian experience, good luck, because there is now a my statuesque solar warrior parked very firmly at the front, giant shield held in one hand and sword at her side.

try to shimmy past her and she's going to move to stop riiiight in front of you. ]

You shall not pass. [ very. seriously. ] I apologize, but it is in your best interest. Please trust me.

[ this is not a movie, this is the gate to hell and here is cerberus. ]

THEATER V
[ sorry, are you getting harassed by a robot? hopefully you have some sunglasses on, because there sure is some bright light coming from leona's general direction, as this woman crashes through and smashes a robot to the ground with her shield with a sickening crunch.

SHE WILL PROTECT YOU!! or destroy public property, that too. but far too many robots have already made a mistake with her, so she's assuming it's the same for everyone. ]

Are you all right?

[ if you're not being harassed by cleaning robots, feel free to complain about the woman at the back lighting the entire theatre in occasional flashes of light, coming straight from the top of her shield. she really is trying to be quiet here as she's getting attacked for accidentally dropping her sword on the ground. ]

LOBBY
Hold!

[ or maybe you're out in the lobby when she finally decides to take the fight outside out of total respect for the only good movie in this place. there's a voice of a woman yelling when a cleaning robot zooms through the air with a crunch, becoming one with the wall behind you.

really never coming to the movies again. ]

[ooc: reply and i'll make a unique prompt for each person!]

Lobby

[It feels strange to Hide that the first thing he does after hearing about the destruction of his world is go to the movies. Maybe this is what people mean when they say they need an escape from reality. The whole situation is like something out of novel-or a movie. Worlds destroyed by aliens? He's still trying to wrap his head around the idea. He could explore the city instead. Maybe run into some familiar faces and get an idea of who is here...and who is not. Discovering that the people whose fates he's most concerned for are not accounted for is what frightens him the most. He tries not to think about it.

So, to the theater it is. It had been so long since he had done something like this, he's determined to try and enjoy it. And the only way to really enjoy a movie is to stock up on treats beforehand. He loads himself down with popcorn, candy, and a drink before going to view the movie options on the nearest screen. He juggles his items in his arms while reading the descriptions, trying to eat and read at the same time, resulting in spilling a little popcorn and nearly dropping his drink, much to the frustration of the cleaning bots who swarm the area at his feet.]

Wha-oh! Sorry. Maybe if I put this in my pocket...[He shuffles his items from one arm to the next-spilling even more popcorn-in an attempt to relocate his candy into his pocket.] Oops.

Theater 3

[So, maybe picking the movie about alien invasion is an odd choice considering the circumstances, but it honestly had sounded the most interesting to Hide. And, for the first half at least, the movie is entertaining. The characters are strange and yet still fun to watch. Hide is enjoying himself immensely until the destruction of "Planet Earth" begins. In between shots of building crumbling Hide sees places he knows being destroyed. His apartment building catches fire before his eyes. The CCG office is blown apart. But worst of all are the faces. Faces he knows, covered in blood, screaming in agony. The remains of his popcorn falls from his hands and spills out across the floor. Hide doesn't seem to notice; his eyes trained in horror on the screen.]

W-what is this? What's going on?

Theater 5

[After the disaster with the first movie he saw, Hide is reluctant to watch another. But it's not as if he has anything better to do with his time. Besides, there is always the chance that this one would turn out better. It certainly sounds like a feel good movie. Hide could really use a feel good movie right about now. And he's not disappointed. The story is touching, bringing a few tears to his eyes. When the memories come, he's slightly more prepared for them. Black hair and a familiar smile flash by on the screen. He smiles, even as more tears stream down his face. He quickly wipes them away, embarrassed.]

I wasn't expecting a tear-jerker. They should have warned us beforehand.

[Theater 1]

[The movie had initially attracted her simply because of the colors. Ragyo was always on the look out for a new design, after all. Maybe these ponies could provide some inspiration on color blending. Of course that's not what she got. Once the ponies had been dealt with and the real attraction started, she let out a surprised noise - like others perhaps - but unlike the others that were squirming uncomfortably as they saw familiar faces and loved ones in the throes of passion Ragyo looked... oddly content. She leaned over onto the arm of her seat with a seductive grin on her face, a look almost reminiscent of someone watching a video they made on vacation in her eyes.]

My my... I've got to come to this place more often if this is the kind of movie they show...

[Bonus]

[Unfortunately for Ragyo, the other movies she saw today hadn't been nearly as entertaining as the first. She had been completely desensitized to everything shown to her long ago, back when she was more human. And so it was with a bored gaze that she began looking around the theater, her senses trained on the people around her, and that's when she heard the robot. Not only was it accusing someone of random sexual insults, but brandishing a paddle. She couldn't help but stand from her seat, gliding up behind the robot and draping herself over it.]

Mmm... you're holding that all wrong. [She proceeded to take the robot's hand in hers, adjusting the metallic hand's grip on the weapon much like someone would teach someone a golf swing while also trying to seduce them.]

Let me show you how it's done~

LOBBY - NINJAS
[ there's a lot about cerealia that is foreign and strange and obviously not what aigis's used to, but for her to be completely out-of-place with the concept of fancy technology would be a little weird, given she's fancy technology herself. still, she finds herself drifting towards the place that's most like home... that is, the movie theatre.

don't mind the girl in the school uniform approaching you in the lobby, random citizen. do mind, however, how her eyes are a little crystalline and she seems almost... doll-like. but that's not important, right? ]

Excuse me. Do you know where the movies starring ninjas are located?

[ she needs to know about the mysterious cerealia ninjas. ]

LOBBY - SELECTION
[ okay, so cerealia apparently has terrible taste in movies and there are no movies about ninjas. will she ever find out if the ninjas were eliminated through a cerealian ice age, or technological expansion? oh, well. perhaps she will have to settle for their tales of velociraptors and... whatever it is they're showing.

sorry if you wanted to buy a ticket, however. the girl at the booths is currently to busy mulling over something besides selecting a particular movie, because-- ]

What do the ratings correspond to? Quality...? Material...? [ ... ] Yard-door People of Questionable Morals must truly be questionable to be rated "Z". Or perhaps... it puts people to sleep? "Rated Zzz" might be more appropriate.

[ she glances at you, then, somewhat expectantly. was that humorous? ]

THEATRE II
[ looming outside the recently finished LARGE ADVENTURER 7, said doll-like girl looks deeply contemplative about the affairs of life, love, and loss, alongside the images she saw cut in. losing a loved one is also hard but... third robotic genocide...? really different from the movies she's used to.

the floor sure is interesting. ]

Is cheese a way to cope with loss? Or was it perhaps... A "metaphor". I'm afraid I don't understand... [ maybe she lost the message during her confusion at being part of the movie itself. ah. how frustrating.

a glance up, and if you meet her eyes... well, you'll have her approaching you, whether you came out of the theatre or not. ] May I ask you a question?

Edited 2015-03-16 20:42 (UTC)

[ IV ]

[ While most are shifting in their seats uncomfortably, Kagura isn't actually paying any attention to the screen. She's finished her own food, and however much she could pilfer from Gintoki, but she's still really hungry.

So, she's slipping out of her seat, and sliding in next to basically anyone who still has their snacks. Hopefully the embarrassing footage onscreen is enough to distract from the small hand reaching into your popcorn. ]

[ V ]

[ You might be trying to enjoy the terrible movie, when the head of a nosy BDSM robot comes flying across the aisle, and lands perfectly in your lap. Kagura's just kicked it clean off one of the bots, and now she's perched on the back of one of the seats, taunting another. ]

Oi, come on, dumpster. If you don't wanna do your job aru, I'll just send you to robot Hell so you can learn some manners!

[ Aoko should have expected the title of the movie was a warning that it was going to be bad, but man. She's practically suffering in her seat, and isn't afraid to voice it. ]

This movie sucks.

[ Her tone is dull, as if all of the life was drained out of her. Suddenly a memory of her time with Alice and Soujuurou stops her lifeless expression and causes her to look more in shock than happy.

She's so shocked that she ends up accidentally knocking her soda, which was resting in her lap, over. She doesn't get wet but the floor does, and the robots are on her like white on rice. Being hit with the wooden paddle causes one vein to appear on her head, and before she has a chance to react she's called a slut and that tears it.

Aoko calmly gets up from her seat, turns to the robot, and KICKS it as hard as she can. Which meant it would fly to the opposite wall and collide rather harshly. As for the other robot? Another kick that knocks it's stupid damn head off. ]

Let that be a lesson to everyone here.

Threaded | Flat

Page 4 of 4

Gilgamesh | Fate/Zero

Anavoth tel Gost | Original Character

Maya Fey | Ace Attorney

Cliff Fittir | Star Ocean: Till the End of Time

suzugamori ren || cardfight!! vanguard

hak | akatsuki no yona

leona } league of legends

judai yuki / yugioh gx