//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[bozu]

[And suddenly, that hand's being held with both of the chef's, as he gives Ren a ~meaningful gaze~.]

First name basis so quickly! I'm stunned! Speechless! Excited, even!
Perhaps even a little worked up...!

Are you always this amiable with people you've just met, or is it lust at first sight...!?

[hooey]

[ren just blinks once and. stands up straighter again. whoops hope your grip wasn't too strong there, teruteru]

First name basis? Well, I guess I didn't really think about it. I call everyone by their given names, you know? Because everyone calls me by mine.

Oh, except I call Kai just Kai! But you don't know him, so it doesn't matter!

[bozu]

[- well, yes, it was just a bit. But he lets go the moment Ren starts standing straight again, so it's no problem.]

Ahh, but you aren't denying we have a connection!
At least, I'm not hearing any denial!

Someone with a stern face like yours... I bet you're into some spicy things, huh?

[hooey]

Stern?! Oh, no, really? Hopefully I haven't been making a stern face this whole time, I could have been doing it for days and I wouldn't have even known-!

[PATS HIS CHEEKS IN A PANIC--]

[bozu]

Oh, nonono - I didn't mean it like that! I meant it more... Stoic!
Attractively sharp!

A piercing gaze that can make any grown man tremble! I'm trembling a little, myself.

[can he reach up and grab one of those hands again, is that okay]

Don't be so concerned about something so silly, though - you have a very attractive face, no matter the expression!
It's one I certainly wouldn't mind waking up next to, in fact.

[hooey]

[this is a lot of touching hmm]

Well, that's not quite true. Tetsu says my morning face is kind of terrible sometimes, you know? I'm talking about when you just wake up and you can't even open your eyes properly.

If I go downstairs for coffee, even Asaka gets surprised at my expression! But I can't help it.

[ahh yes the joy of housemates. skyscrapermates. officemates.

mates.]

[bozu]

[can he be a mate too :)

He's still got a firm grip on Ren's hand, of course. Sorry, he's, uh. Affectionate.]

Mmhmhm... Hmhm! That's adorable, definitely adorable!

But you shouldn't worry about that. Even if your morning face is scary, it'd change when you woke up to morning-after breakfast, right?

[hooey]

[sorry you must unlock my tragic backstory to become a level 5 mate]

Sometimes Asaka brings me breakfast before I'm even awake, so I don't really know when my face changes, exactly! But I think a lot of people have the same problem waking up. It's not just me!

[bozu]

[but tragic backstories don't suit a sexy urbanite like me]

Well then, it sounds like it's time we play scientist and do a little... experimenting, don't you think?
We'll see what kind of situations a terrible morning face can survive in, and maybe after that, we could try playing doctor too!

[He's giving it his all right now, man. It's not often that his advances slide off someone like water on a duck!
... It's actually got him kinda interested in this guy. Hmm.]

[hooey]

I don't think morning accidental demon face can qualify as a sickness. Even if it was, you'd have to take that to a sleep pathologist over anything, probably!

[this is decidedly the topic at hand

speaking of hands, he's going to try and remove his. slowly. from teruteru's grip]

[bozu]

[Oh - well, Teruteru's fine letting go! He'll just fiddle with the handkerchief around his neck for a second instead, before realizing it's decidedly unsexy.
So, hands going on his hips. Yeah. That's a city-dweller pose, right??]

Aha, you certainly are a pure one, aren't you? I always seem to pick the purest out of the bunch...!

Don't worry, though; you're in good hands. I'll make sure to treat you right, both in the kitchen and in the bedroom!

[hooey]

[aaand there it is. ren smiles just slightly.]

Pure? That's not something I've had anyone describe me as, at least not recently.

Ah, but you could put those good hands to use by helping me find the least green part of the popcorn from here!

[no dice, dude.]

[bozu]

[Oh. Well there went the fun game of "how much is this guy going to ignore".]

Ah...
That's something much better suited for my eyes than my hands. But you know, I'd much rather not waste our time with their disgusting "alternatives"...

How about I take that offer for chips, and extend it as a friendly lunch instead?

[hooey]

[phew. first result: safe.]

Lunch wouldn't be so bad! But, it doesn't solve my problem with food now for the cinema.

...ah, I guess coming back at a different time might mean there's other choices. I was looking forward to a movie, though.

[bozu]

Hmm... But have you paid attention to the advertisements? None of them seem to be all that intriguing.
Aside from that "Large Adventurer 7", I suppose, but if it's the seventh installment of a series...

We'd be left behind the whole time!

[Yes, "we". They'll be watching movies together now, yep.]

[hooey]

I wanted to go see "The Retaliators"! Something full of action might be a well-deserved break from all this weirdness around here. I don't want to have to think too hard about it all, but... it'd still have enough to be interesting!

So, I'll go and see that. Eventually.

[bozu]

... Well, if you're set on that one... We could watch it together!
I'm sure there may be something to it that'll catch my interest!

[As long as he's not watching it alone, he's fine.
Sorry not sorry for intruding on your plans, Ren.]