//TESTDRIVE15.EXE

[reparator]

//testdrive15.EXE

The clock strikes twelve. The gong of the grandfather clock in the foyer tolls out the time in slightly unnecessarily obnoxious loud noises. The ambiance of this old mansion demands respect, care, awe -- Okay, no, wait, why are you even in this stupid dusty house? No reasons are forthcoming, because everyone knows that people just end up in places like this sometimes. That's just how the narrative device works. The hows and the whys don't matter -- all that matters is that you're all here, so you'd better get cracking and start exploring, because it's not like you can leave yet. Or ever, maybe. Good day, sirs and madams. Might I interest you in a nice glass of blood...y mary?

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I [ 0215 ] All you see is white. The crash of thunder hits your ears next, punctuated by the piercing pitch of white noise in the background. After a few blinks, your vision comes back to you. Oh good, glad that you’ve joined us in the land of the living. Unlike the nondescript corpse at your feet – it looks like… a butler? Oh dear. You’ve already killed Murder Suspect Number One in most situations. How terribly ironic. After all, who could’ve killed him but you? You might not remember, but there is definitely a murder weapon in your hand. It’s probably a knife or a poisoned glass of wine or- Wait, is that a toaster? A full on toaster? Or maybe it’s a taser. Maybe you bludgeoned this poor guy with an entire encyclopedia. Either way, it looks like your murder weapon is a little unconventional, whether it’s a stranger’s pair of underwear or a hair curler. Are you really supposed to believe you committed a murder with these? (Yes.) That said in the next second the double doors will be opening up. It’s pretty clear you’re not alone. Think quick! PHASE II [ 0600 ] Exploring more around the compound, you’ll find plenty of those tall, oil portraits of people hung around the walls. When you start walking, they’re all strangers. However by the time that you feel like you’re wandering around for an hour, two hours, they might start looking a little bit more… familiar? Mom? Is that you? You don’t have time to think about that, though. You were clearly framed! You don't’ have a motive for killing some random NPC – “Or do you?” a portrait will ask. Oh. Holy shit. Well it’d just be rude to leave, right? Whether you stick around for conversation or not, you’ll find that was just the beginning. The portraits are going to start grilling you. Welcome to CERES Central’s Roast of You. What was your motive? Don’t you know you should respect the servants? How would you feel if you were caught like that? Careful turning your back on them though, because if you ignore them for too long, the subjects in the portraits may just reach out and snatch you to join them in their portrait world. At that point, the only way to get out is to swap places with some other poor, unsuspecting soul wandering around. PHASE III [ 1045 ] You know what makes me hungry? Murder. What’s the point of making a mansion this big anyway? Who’s even here? Either way, whether you’re looking for the kitchen to make a fine post-homicide sandwich or just trying to escape, you’ll eventually make it to a stairwell. The most finicky stairwell ever. Is that a trail of bloody footprints leading up the steps? What? No. Stop it, just climb. Or well – don’t climb too quickly now. The staircases apparently have a mind of their own, swapping from one doorway to another. You definitely haven’t seen this before. It would seem that these stairs might even be interested in keeping you in a circle forever, no concern for whether or not you’re hungry or, god forbid, need to use the restroom. However the portraits in the stairwell will provide a little tip: “The stairs are gossips, you know. Why don’t you tell us a little something about yourself? Make it good!” Weirdly enough, sound advice – that is, if you’re interested in shouting out your most embarrassing secrets into the void so a mansion can keep talking shit about you. Oh well. Your alternative is just being a stair golem. There are worse fates. PHASE IV [ 1430 ] This hall is oddly quiet. Well, until you hear it – the soft sniffles coming from down the hall, the broken sobs. It sounds like someone’s crying. For one reason or another, your footsteps take you forward – there’s really no point in going back now after all, right? Yet as you continue to walk… walk… walk… the crying becomes louder and louder. More desperate, more despaired. In time, it’s clear that this person is wailing, screaming, “How could this happen?!” Within the span of a breath, all the lights in the hallway go out, leaving you in pitch black. It occurs to you then that you hear a second set of steps. When did you stop walking? A cold chill runs down your spine and you find yourself running then, despite the fact that it feels like this pitch black hallway goes on forever. The other footsteps pick up, remind you that you’re not alone. No, certainly not. Best hope that you find some assistance soon – otherwise it looks like the Butler Association is going to ignite some righteous vigilante justice on your ass. BONUS [ why o'clock ] You’re in the grand ballroom now, ready to present your case. Armed with a cob pipe (don’t smoke inside, it’s rude), a detective hat, and a single spotlight aimed right at you, you now have to explain how you came to the conclusion about the True Killer that is Obviously Not You. Rather, it’ll just be the character of whoever tags into this prompt – yes, you are suddenly so very sure that they’re the ones who are the ultimate mastermind of this entire game and… you’re just going to have to bullshit the reason why even if you know virtually nothing about them. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, you know? Sorry about that. Should you actually provide enough of a compelling case or they take pity on you, having a villainous breakdown for the sake of the plot, you’ll be awarded with a coupon that’ll give you three free scoops at your local ice cream parlor! (Note: you must buy the first two scoops in order to qualify.) Of course, if you’re not able to nail them down as the killer, you are obviously the killer yourself (citation needed). From there, you’ll be dragged off to face your punishment: for six grueling hours you will be tickled mercilessly. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to Cerealia's fifteenth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

karl | brave frontier

[gaian]

PHASE I:

[Karl doesn't even really need to think about it—he tosses the encyclopedia in his hand to the side (... this also begs the question of why the heck he'd use that as a weapon when he has a halberd in his other hand), rushes to Mr. Nondescript Corpse, and tries to check for a pulse.]

Hey! Are you okay...!?

[WHO'S THINKING OF MURDERS AND SUSPECTS someone might be dead here :c]

PHASE III:

[Yeaaaaah, no. Karl can't even tell his closest friends his secrets, let alone shout them to a bunch of staircases.

After a lot of futile running, Karl decides that he's had enough. After pressing a hand to his forehead for a moment (because seriously, what is going on and why is it going on)... Well, this is probably one of the most inane things that he's used this power for, but frankly, he's not in the mood for games right now.]

Come out, Felneus!

[A magic circle forms, and then, as per his decree, out comes Felneus, hovering in the air and looking like it's ready to kill something.]

For what purpose do you— [And then it pauses, because wow, there's no enemy to be had here. Karl just points to a doorway up above.] You require my legendary power for something so menial...!?

[Karl, to his credit, at least has the decency to look sheepish.] ... Yup. Sorry about that. Just help me out here for a bit, would you?

[And that's the story of how Karl ended up on the back of a legendary sea dragon so that he could reach a doorway. Before he and Felneus start to move, though, he'll turn to you and smile.]

Need a ride?

PHASE IV:

[NOW WOULD BE A GREAT TIME TO HAVE A GLOWY—

Unfortunately, Karl doesn't happen to have a glowing blob on him, and so he can't see much of anything in the dark. Halberd tight in his grip, he runs. The paranoid feeling doesn't leave him.

When it reaches its peak—or when the footsteps sound a little too close (same difference, really)—he turns and swings his weapon, in turn sending a small torrent of water and bursts of ice down the hallway.

... Yeah, sorry if you also happen to be in that direction. Look, he really can't see anything, okay.]

Phase III

[makesthetea]

[Mai's been bumbling around in the dark herself, the wee little battery she keeps in her pocket having long since run out of juice. Who knew forgetting to change batteries would work out like this? So with one hand against the nearest wall she's taking slow, cautious steps, her ears sharply focused on the sounds around her. Is there someone in front of her? It does sound like footsteps... actually whoever it is seems to be running so she ends up picking up her pace in hopes of getting closer to them. Maybe they can tell her what's going on here after all.

Well, that is until she gets slapped by something distinctly wet. It's like running straight into a fountain and she can't help the few flailing steps she makes as she staggers backwards. Maybe Karl can't see anything but he's bound to hear something. Something that sounds distinctly like a shriek.]

WATER?! WHERE THE HECK DID WATER COME FROM?!

[gaian]

[... Wow, that, um, really doesn't sound like someone out to get him. In fact, it sounds an awful lot like he might've just attacked someone completely random and, most importantly, innocent, which is by far and away not a good thing.

On the bright side, it doesn't sound like he hurt her? That, or she has a rather impressive set of lungs for an injured person...]

Ack! I-I'm sorry!

[He may or not may not be cringing in the dark here, before stepping closer towards the sound of the voice.]

Are you okay!?

[makesthetea]

[If Mai could see the man, she could possibly level the flat expression she can feel forming on her face at him. As is she ends up squinting into the darkness to try to make out something, then just sighing out when that naturally doesn't work.

Watch out there, she may just be brushing water off of her and flinging it everywhere. Not that this portion of hallway is particularly dry though.]

I'm fine, just a little wet.

[A little. Now she brushes at her hair, fluffing up the rough bob cut as she talks.]

That was so weird. I was just standing here and then suddenly bam, water! It didn't get you too, did it? Maybe the roof is leaking?

[Then again she couldn't hear any rain.]

phase iv

[beatofmyblood]

[So good news! Karl can probably see now. Specifically, Jonathan is lit up like a Christmas tree, emanating a golden aura that's strong enough to illuminate a small area around him.

The bad news is that he's directly in the path of the mess of attacks heading his way.

Thankfully, his reflexes are sharp as ever, and he moves so shards of ice don't do much but graze his face. The water, however, is...a little more difficult to avoid outright.]

Gah--!

[No matter how quick on his feet he is, there's little he can do to avoid getting drenched, energy crackling like electricity around him as soon as the water splashes over his body.]

What is this? This much water all at once...where could it have possibly come from?

[He hasn't noticed Karl yet - forgive him for being slightly distracted after the hellish night he's had in this mansion - but it doesn't take long, and his eyes light up with something between curiosity and suspicion when he meets his gaze. He doesn't let his guard down yet, but it's worth asking.]

Pardon me, but are you alright?

[gaian]

[Thanks, Christmas Tree Jonathan.

When some of the darkness leaves, or at least now that he isn't moving blind, Karl relaxes just slightly. Still, he maintains a hold on his weapon, and like the other party, he doesn't yet lower his guard, though his tone is friendly enough.]

Huh? Yeah...

[... And now guilt is starting to hit him, because ah... provided that this guy means no harm, he just attacked a random person, didn't he? Not good.]

That's what I should be asking you, actually. I didn't hit you too badly, did I?

[He looks okay, but...]

[beatofmyblood]

[Always here to help!]

That was you?

[Jonathan blinks, brushing wet hair out of his eyes as he glances from Karl to his weapon and back. He's visibly surprised, but now that it's clear the young man meant no harm, he visibly relaxes.]

Ah-- no, I'm fine! This is not how I anticipated my evening going, but a little water is hardly a problem.

[Understatement of the year.]

PHASE III

[onethousen]

[ That's... probably a spirit. A river spirit? For a second game after failing to make it through the tunnel back to the human side of the world, Chihiro has to pause and stare to take in what she's seeing.

Okay. It's not weirder than what else has happened so far, and it's almost familiar. Though if she's trusting the sea dragon or the one on its back more is difficult to say, since Chihiro swallows, squares her shoulders, and then walks closer. ]

Is that alright with you?

[ She asks Felenus, having missed out on the whole summoning part of this story. ]

[gaian]

[For a moment, Karl is surprised—that she'd ask Felneus—before he smiles again. She seems like a considerate girl, really (from his so far rather brief impression of her, at least).

On Felneus's part, it tilts its head towards Karl, before looking at Chihiro.]

If my master wills it, I do not mind.

[Not much of a surprise to Karl, as the lore speaks of how frightening Felneus's fury is for those who disrespect the sea, but otherwise, it's generally not hostile, even if this task might be slightly insulting for a being of its majesty.]

Don't worry, it won't throw you off. Probably.

[onethousen]

[ Ah, so the dragon works for this man. She can understand that (or thinks she does), nodding her head and looking up properly at Karl. ]

Thank you both.

[ An expression of gratitude paired with a small bow of her head. She straightens, holding up an arm and trying to figure out where to brace a foot to get up on Karl's dragon as she says: ]

I'm pretty good at hanging on. Do you think that door will lead us away from the stairs?

[ Not according to the talking portraits, but hey, who jumps headfirst into gossiping in weird labyrinthine mansion games? ]

phase iv. hi--

[manchildren]

[ WHAT'S A GLOWY CAN HE EAT IT

is more or less what kei is literally thinking as he confidently (read: blindly and somewhat furtively) grope his way around the pitch-black hallway. well it's well-known that one cannot feel hunger (or, well, much of anything) while being in a Trion body, that doesn't stop one from wondering if, perhaps, the entire situation wouldn't be so bad if he had a small tv and a few croquettes to munch on.

the reason why the entire situation isn't as unnerving as it could be to kei would be due to the fact that he isn't particularly good at otome games (actually, he's never played any otome games barring that one time kunichika sat him down and made him play muv-luv, which, in his opinion, wasn't much of an otome game -- for one, it had too little luv and a really cool amount of muv) (he'll never live down anyone revealing that he spent more time playing that game than he did in the training rooms that week) and therefore does not have the expressed level of empathy needed to care about sobbing disembodied voices in the darkness.

he's also shit at horror games, too, which may explain why he doesn't find the fact that his footsteps are leading him on and not the other way around disconcerting at all. kei figures that it's just his natural instincts kicking him, taking his feet to brave new places, and anyway, even if he doesn't really think about it like that, he is a child soldier who's used to fighting aliens intend on turning most of the population into sentient energy sources, so something like a little lights out and some kid throwing a tantrum in the distance isn't intimidating at all in comparison. probably. sort of. he thinks, anyway, though he doesn't have to put any effort into not thinking too hard about it. if pressed, he'd say his instincts told him so.

it's those same instincts that causes him to bring up his kougetsu the very moment something sings through the darkness right for the space where his head would've been if he'd taken just one more step. the weight of the weapon feels top-heavy, a concentrated force that causes him to whistle, low, in the darkness. the sounds of splish splash that follows is infinitely less interesting, but no less baffling -- water? by his feet? now that wasn't there before. (oh, oh! maybe it's the crying person's tears!) ]

Hey, hey, hey-- first sobbing, and now surprise attacks in the dark? You really need to get your emotions under control first. [ but the prospect of something trying to attack him in the dark is so novel and interesting that he slides out of the attack and brings out his second kougetsu vibrating with excitement, just in case. ] Look, I can wait until you stop crying, and then we can have a good go at it? I won't even count the first strike; I'm a fair guy.

smh

[gaian]

[Adrenaline's rushing through his body, making analyzing the situation a bit difficult; nevertheless, Karl tries his best. First sobbing, and now surprise attacks in the dark? Looks like this man (or so he assumes, from the voice) isn't connected to the mysterious crying (which Karl had been alarmed by, even as he suspected it was a trap—he's not that naive, or at least not always).

He jumps back, because although he can't tell whether this guy is friend or foe, he doesn't feel safe assuming the former at the moment.]

Sorry, but I'm not the one crying. [...] I've also got no interest in having "a good go at it" without reason.

[Whether a reason exists yet or not remains to be seen.]

laughs

[manchildren]

[ 'without reason' -- ah, so he's a kazama-type. and here kei had been hoping that the attack in the dark was a deliberate and fun move meant to make something fun happen, but kazama-types rarely put out. not that that made they any less strong. the weighted slash in the dark had good force behind it. that automatically gives kei right to be intrigued. ]

Wait, the crying isn't you? [ now whatever it is the guy was saying sinks in as unadulterated surprise crosses kei's face, invisible in the darkness but there nonetheless to add some flavour to this text. he lowers his twin kougetsus a little to squint into the darkness with an air of vague disbelief. ] No way, but you're the only other guy here. If it's not me, and it's not me, so wouldn't that mean it has to be you?

phase i

[osuni]

[THE DOORS SWING OPEN TO REVEAL!!!]

Hm?

[Okuni shuffles on in, flapping her fan open as she takes in the super incriminating scene of a DEAD BUTLER and KARL]

My! Am I interrupting something?

[is she interrupting DEATH]

[gaian]

[wow don't assume things okuni??? even if you are totally interrupting death...

Karl's head snaps up when Okuni comes in, as he stops trying to find a pulse because apparently this guy is most definitely dead, though still, the fact that this (or rather, he) looks awfully suspicious has yet to occur to him.

BECAUSE SOMEONE'S DEAD AND IT'S AWFUL.]

Did you see anyone leave this room!? They might've been the one who killed this man...!

[WE'VE GOT A MURDERER TO CATCH OKUNI it's totally not karl please don't believe it's karl]

[osuni]

[LORD HOW SUSPICIOUS.... though Okuni notices how panicked and pure Karl seems to be, but maybe he's just a REALLY GOOD ACTOR. either way, this is very interesting and also FUN so Okuni heads straight to Karl and his dead bff.]

Oh, so he's really dead then?

[why does Okuni sound Curious and not Shocked. She directs her gaze back at Karl, looking very expectant.]

I haven't seen anyone as suspicious as you so far! So it's probably a little too late for you to pretend otherwise.

[MISTER MURDERER]

iv;

[mombastic]

[ Otome is... also running, which is a logical thing to do, except she's not expecting something to attack her from in front. Even if she should have, honestly, and she'll sigh at herself later for her lack of foresight, but for now?

Water and ice it is, and Karl will hear a soft yelp and a thump as Otome stumbles back and... well. Over she goes.

Probably not the best time to stop, considering. ]

[gaian]

[Probably not, but that yelp doesn't... sound entirely like something dastardly and/or threatening. Then again, appearances (or rather, noises in this case) can be deceiving.]

Huh...?

[So on one hand, self-preservation and paranoia. On the other hand, he'd feel pretty awful if he just attacked an innocent person and then left them there.

... Yeah, compassion's going to win over self-preservation, as it has a tendency to do. Karl pauses, and hesitantly, he calls out:]

Uhh... [Eloquent. He should probably say something with substance.] Is someone there?

[That's not exactly one of the smarter questions he's asked, but it's good enough... maybe...]

[mombastic]

[ Good enough for Otome to reply to. With a faint cough and a sigh as she works at pushing herself to her feet. ]

I can't say you hit air, unfortunately...

iii;

[diancecht]

[ Free ride? Hell yes. Less work, more getting to the kitchens and seeing what the hell is up with the rest of this creepy mansion (and possibly making some damn good coffee, if possible)? The best thing he's heard all day. ]

That's music to my ears. Thank you.

[ He'll just examine Felneus a little closer before approaching however, because even if water dragons are actually a thing he's somewhat familiar with (especially when Kana's involved), one does not simply...mount a dragon. ]

[gaian]

Haha, don't worry about it. We should be helping one another out here, right?

[He tilts his head slightly to side in response to Dwyer's examination, before letting out a light laugh.]

It won't bite. Or mind too much, probably.

[Felneus flicks the end of its tail—whether this was meant to be reassuring or the opposite is anyone's guess. If nothing else, Karl is still smiling??]

phase i.

[discard]

[There's a really unimpressed teen off to the side--hi Karl. He tosses away his own "murder weapon" with a wrinkled nose, unimpressed by the metal pipe he supposedly killed someone with.

As for this fool checking the pulse of a corpse that didn't even have defining features--]

Are you an idiot?

[FRIENDLY]

[gaian]

[Between Lugina, his own biological dad, and probably others, Karl gets called an idiot so many times that Leon might as well have just said "hi" and it probably would've registered as the same.

In other words, Karl isn't even remotely offended as he looks up, and calmly:]

There are worse things than being an idiot. I'll take my chances.

i!

[adornmental]

That guy's super dead. Super dead.

[JUST IN CASE POOR KARL HAD ANY DOUBTS... He's already assuming no pulse will be found and it's not like the NPCs here are real anyway, so clearly a little murder in the evening is a-okay!

Though he does go over to pick up the encyclopedia...]

So, s'this the murder weapon?

[gaian]

[THANKS, KASHUU...]

... So it seems. Still, it didn't hurt to check...

[And no, a little murder is not okay?? Not that Karl really knows what's going on, though he'd understand the explanation of virtual reality if given (benefits of being from a pseudo-medieval world with crazy high tech!)—except wow, can we avoid murder anyway...]

... When you say that, it makes it seem like I'm the one who killed him.

[AND HE TOTALLY ISN'T.]