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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2016-06-30 05:58 pm
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//TESTDRIVE15.EXE

//testdrive15.EXE



The clock strikes twelve. The gong of the grandfather clock in the foyer tolls out the time in slightly unnecessarily obnoxious loud noises. The ambiance of this old mansion demands respect, care, awe --

Okay, no, wait, why are you even in this stupid dusty house?

No reasons are forthcoming, because everyone knows that people just end up in places like this sometimes. That's just how the narrative device works. The hows and the whys don't matter -- all that matters is that you're all here, so you'd better get cracking and start exploring, because it's not like you can leave yet.

Or ever, maybe.


Good day, sirs and madams. Might I interest you in a nice glass of blood...y mary?

//SCENARIOS.EXE


PHASE I

[ 02:15 ] All you see is white. The crash of thunder hits your ears next, punctuated by the piercing pitch of white noise in the background. After a few blinks, your vision comes back to you. Oh good, glad that you’ve joined us in the land of the living. Unlike the nondescript corpse at your feet – it looks like… a butler? Oh dear. You’ve already killed Murder Suspect Number One in most situations. How terribly ironic.

After all, who could’ve killed him but you? You might not remember, but there is definitely a murder weapon in your hand. It’s probably a knife or a poisoned glass of wine or-

Wait, is that a toaster? A full on toaster? Or maybe it’s a taser. Maybe you bludgeoned this poor guy with an entire encyclopedia. Either way, it looks like your murder weapon is a little unconventional, whether it’s a stranger’s pair of underwear or a hair curler. Are you really supposed to believe you committed a murder with these? (Yes.)

That said in the next second the double doors will be opening up. It’s pretty clear you’re not alone. Think quick!

PHASE II

[ 06:00 ] Exploring more around the compound, you’ll find plenty of those tall, oil portraits of people hung around the walls. When you start walking, they’re all strangers. However by the time that you feel like you’re wandering around for an hour, two hours, they might start looking a little bit more… familiar? Mom? Is that you?

You don’t have time to think about that, though. You were clearly framed! You don't’ have a motive for killing some random NPC –

“Or do you?” a portrait will ask.

Oh. Holy shit. Well it’d just be rude to leave, right? Whether you stick around for conversation or not, you’ll find that was just the beginning. The portraits are going to start grilling you. Welcome to CERES Central’s Roast of You. What was your motive? Don’t you know you should respect the servants? How would you feel if you were caught like that? Careful turning your back on them though, because if you ignore them for too long, the subjects in the portraits may just reach out and snatch you to join them in their portrait world.

At that point, the only way to get out is to swap places with some other poor, unsuspecting soul wandering around.

PHASE III

[ 10:45 ] You know what makes me hungry? Murder.

What’s the point of making a mansion this big anyway? Who’s even here? Either way, whether you’re looking for the kitchen to make a fine post-homicide sandwich or just trying to escape, you’ll eventually make it to a stairwell. The most finicky stairwell ever. Is that a trail of bloody footprints leading up the steps? What? No. Stop it, just climb.

Or well – don’t climb too quickly now. The staircases apparently have a mind of their own, swapping from one doorway to another. You definitely haven’t seen this before. It would seem that these stairs might even be interested in keeping you in a circle forever, no concern for whether or not you’re hungry or, god forbid, need to use the restroom.

However the portraits in the stairwell will provide a little tip: “The stairs are gossips, you know. Why don’t you tell us a little something about yourself? Make it good!”

Weirdly enough, sound advice – that is, if you’re interested in shouting out your most embarrassing secrets into the void so a mansion can keep talking shit about you. Oh well. Your alternative is just being a stair golem. There are worse fates.

PHASE IV

[ 14:30 ] This hall is oddly quiet.

Well, until you hear it – the soft sniffles coming from down the hall, the broken sobs. It sounds like someone’s crying. For one reason or another, your footsteps take you forward – there’s really no point in going back now after all, right? Yet as you continue to walk… walk… walk… the crying becomes louder and louder. More desperate, more despaired. In time, it’s clear that this person is wailing, screaming, “How could this happen?!”

Within the span of a breath, all the lights in the hallway go out, leaving you in pitch black.

It occurs to you then that you hear a second set of steps. When did you stop walking? A cold chill runs down your spine and you find yourself running then, despite the fact that it feels like this pitch black hallway goes on forever. The other footsteps pick up, remind you that you’re not alone. No, certainly not.

Best hope that you find some assistance soon – otherwise it looks like the Butler Association is going to ignite some righteous vigilante justice on your ass.

BONUS

[ why o'clock ] You’re in the grand ballroom now, ready to present your case. Armed with a cob pipe (don’t smoke inside, it’s rude), a detective hat, and a single spotlight aimed right at you, you now have to explain how you came to the conclusion about the True Killer that is Obviously Not You. Rather, it’ll just be the character of whoever tags into this prompt – yes, you are suddenly so very sure that they’re the ones who are the ultimate mastermind of this entire game and… you’re just going to have to bullshit the reason why even if you know virtually nothing about them. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, you know?

Sorry about that.

Should you actually provide enough of a compelling case or they take pity on you, having a villainous breakdown for the sake of the plot, you’ll be awarded with a coupon that’ll give you three free scoops at your local ice cream parlor! (Note: you must buy the first two scoops in order to qualify.) Of course, if you’re not able to nail them down as the killer, you are obviously the killer yourself (citation needed).

From there, you’ll be dragged off to face your punishment: for six grueling hours you will be tickled mercilessly.


[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to Cerealia's fifteenth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

mombastic: (You're definitely flowering into manhood)

[personal profile] mombastic 2016-07-05 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I see... follow the sounds of chaos, then?

[ Seems simple enough. ]
gaian: (girly-faced pretty boy)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-05 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[He lets out a light laugh.]

Sounds about right! [Then, he cringes, albeit while still smiling.] Seria and Lugina might kill me if they heard me saying that, though...
mombastic: (The doctor is in and adorable)

[personal profile] mombastic 2016-07-05 07:04 pm (UTC)(link)
It's a good thing you befriended a doctor then, isn't it?

[ So long as they don't actually kill him. ]
gaian: (dimwit)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-05 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[Well, Lugina did badly injure him without remorse once during that """friendly""" match...

Karl scratches his cheek—namely for the befriended part. He likes friends, friends are awesome, etc., but he's not entirely accustomed to the process of making new ones when being a Summoner means that he's generally too busy for a social life.]


Oh, is that your job? Well, that's a relief. I guess I'll be counting on you in that case, huh?
mombastic: (He never coughed again)

[personal profile] mombastic 2016-07-05 08:09 pm (UTC)(link)
If you're lucky, you won't have to count on me in that respect.

[ Look, Otome is stupidly busy too but she finds a way to make friends, so he's just going to have to endure it. ]
gaian: (goody-two-shoes honour student)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-05 08:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[He's not complaining!! It just makes him feel a little sheepish.]

Haha, here's hoping. [Most of his healing moves are gradual ones, not instant—] Though as for my friends, they wouldn't really beat me up. Maybe.
mombastic: (Clean bill of health)

[personal profile] mombastic 2016-07-05 08:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Fighting your friends for any reason is never pleasant, so I'm glad to hear that.

[ Possibly speaking from experience here. ]
gaian: (poser)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-05 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ah... Karl's smile doesn't falter, but it's a bit of a strange thing to hear, for him, due to... issues. Still, he files away the mental note—Otome must've said that for a reason.]

Yeah, I'm not sure if Lugina got that memo.

[Then again, Karl can't say he's all that different either. If anything, he might be worse (though he suspects that if Lugina is here, he and Otome won't exactly get along).]

We'll see how things go, though. If they're not here, none of it really matters.
mombastic: (Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....)

[personal profile] mombastic 2016-07-05 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Is Lugina a child-hating asshole? Because yeah, that might be a problem. ]

Whether they're here or not, there's still a possibility they could show up. So of course it matters!
gaian: (always show up where nobody wants you)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-05 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[Well, he's an asshole who hates everyone. Does that count?]

I guess you're right...

[He's really hoping they are here, because after spending weeks alone (which was, well, his fault, but still) and then finally being with everyone, he's not crazy about the idea of being on his own all over again. That said, he's not sure how optimistic he is.]

How often do people show up here, anyway?
mombastic: (... Ara ara maaaa)

[personal profile] mombastic 2016-07-05 10:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It's fine, he has at least one new friend now! ]

Mm... about every few weeks or so? Not that I think it's a good thing for people to come here...
gaian: (pain in the neck (and side))

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-05 10:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[Yay, friends!]

Yeah... Usually, when I end up in a different world, it's voluntary. Can't say I enjoy having it dropped on me like this... or being unable to leave.
mombastic: (Where are you looking?)

[personal profile] mombastic 2016-07-06 03:22 am (UTC)(link)
...! You can travel to other worlds?

[ Now that's new. ]
gaian: (annoying)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-06 03:34 am (UTC)(link)
Hmm? Yeah! Not everyone can do it, but I'm hardly the only one. At the very least, the existence of other worlds is common knowledge where I'm from... Is it not like that for you?
mombastic: (Well that sure looks... demonic)

[personal profile] mombastic 2016-07-06 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
Not... exactly? Nowadays, it's sort of impossible to ignore, and I know the theory of different versions of worlds, but...

[ Yeah. It's different. ]
gaian: (pain in the neck (and side))

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-06 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
... Sounds complicated. Does it have anything to do with the war going on?

[Why Otome learned to fight for her life...]
mombastic: (Oy vay)

[personal profile] mombastic 2016-07-06 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
... I'm not sure if you want to hear all of this from someone you've just met.

[ IT'S STUPIDLY COMPLICATED. ]
gaian: (goody-two-shoes honour student)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-06 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
Haha, fair point. Well, it's your business, so I won't pry.

[Karl doesn't really treat a person he just met much differently from a good friend (... which also means that he doesn't necessarily trust close friends more than he trusts someone he just met, sometimes), so boundaries don't always occur to him right away.]

Well, whatever the case, I hope things work out well for your home. Seems like being connected to multiple worlds can make things kinda troublesome, huh?
mombastic: (The doctor is in and adorable)

[personal profile] mombastic 2016-07-06 01:08 pm (UTC)(link)
It can, but I can't say things have been boring-- and especially here, where so many people are from worlds I've never heard of.
gaian: (dimwit)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-06 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
This place does seem like it must be a dream come true for a culture buff... It's actually a little daunting to think about how much variety there must be here. How smoothly does it run, with people from so many different kinds of places?