//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

Mai | Amnesia

[upcard]

phase ii;

[Hello friends. Today there is an otome protag out and about. She's not really dressed for the weather, in a dress and tights as she is, but...well, that's the least of her concerns at the moment.

Mostly because she's being chased by vicious, angry reindeer.

Now she's used to being dropped into random worlds without warning at this point, but reindeer trying to kill her is a new one, and she's utterly useless at anything combat related--so please, someone take pity on her, as she screams, hands clutching her bag close, and runs from a frothing, angry reindeer.]

phase iii;

[This wasn't supposed to happen either, but she supposes she shouldn't be surprised anymore (spoilers, she's still surprised). There's a minotaur, and it's staring her down and demanding hugs, and Mai is 150% done with all of this. She's wet from the snow and almost being murdered by reindeer, and she's exhausted, and doesn't know what's going on, and so when it says that it just needs a warm and friendly hug, Mai takes a deep breath, squares her shoulders, and steps towards it to do just that.]

F-fine, just...please stop trying to harm people...!

[Stop her, watch her be crazy, laugh at the dumb protag? It's up to you.]

phase ii

[eyeofthetiger]

[ don't mind Dean jogging along with her as she runs hellbent for terror out of the reindeer park. ]

See, this is why I hate Christmas because if it ain't Kris Kringle eating the bad little children, or a really bad knitted sweater then it's killer Reindeer pounding at your door step.

[ he swears and then suddenly pulls Mai behind some tree cover as one of said reindeer goes running, head down, through the snow drift they almost walked right into. ]

You see what I mean!

[ ugh, worst. holiday. ever! ]

[upcard]

[Bless you and everything you stand for, Dean. Regardless, she doesn't know half of what he's talking about, but he made sure that she's not dead, and that's good enough for her.

She follows him with as much energy as she can, eyes wide and stumbling through the snow.]

U-um...!

[What an incredible addition to the conversation.]

Look out...!

[That's a little better--though probably a little too late, as they hit the ice, and her legs skid, heeled boots slipping on it.]

[eyeofthetiger]

[ hey, all thins considered, he's surprised she has breath enough to blink. Except then he goes skidding down the ice ass first. ]

Woah!

[ hello ice! Nice to meet you and your grandmother, that lump in the ice that's threatening to crack any second just for looking at it. ]

I wasn't quite expecting that.

[ he winces, as he tries to get to his feet, shoes slipping and sliding worse then greased pig having the time of it's life. ]

You okay?

[ he gave Mai a glance, but not much more then that as he almost topples again for the umpteenth time. Just give him a second. These old bones don't bend like they used to. ]

Re: Mai | Amnesia

[bloodtablets]

[Otome Protag meet Shoujo Manga protag!! Also your new savior or... sort of savior.]

Ah-!! STOP!! [Yuki being... well herself really... Immediately tries to move between the fleeing and frightened girl and block the reindeer.]

Go away. [Her voice is even and determined. No way is someone getting hurt on her watch!]

[upcard]

[Much more of a savior than anyone else at the moment. Of course, the moment Yuki is stepping right in front of her for that reindeer, Mai's eyes widen, hand coming up to cover her mouth.]

O-oh--!

[SOMEONE ELSE IS GOING TO DIE NOW that's even worse.]

Look out!

Sorry for the late ;; i got stuck doing finals junk!!

[bloodtablets]

[Yuki would feel more like a savior if that reindeer wasn't currently trying to charge her down.]

Don't worry! Maybe it will- [Unfortunately whatever she thought it might do was the opposite of what it was doing right then: charging at the both of them.]

MOVE!! [Yuki turns, grabbing Mai and yanking her aside before tumbling to the ground as the deer charges past the both of them. What to do? Run, clearly, as Yuki immediately jumps to her feet and grabs Mai again, pushing her legs to move as fast as she can.]

phase iii 'eeey

[spiritee]

[That there is an arm coming between Mai and the minotaur as Ashiya, who's much drier and livelier compared to a certain dumb protag, intercepts the former's approach.]

Hm . . . Although I'm an observer, I can't abide by this.

[No lady deserves to be coerced by a perverted man-cattle. It's an insult to her dignity.

– and she definitely was not about to hug it with feeling, so, really, he's doing the both of them a favor.]

eyyyyyyyy

[upcard]

[And then there's an arm, and she stops abruptly, blinking blearily at the arm that suddenly appeared in front of her.

... ... ... And then she slowly allows her eyes to slide from that arm up to his face. Oh. That's...someone she definitely doesn't know.

Probably?]

U-um...but it's...it said that we had to...

[...she's also very gullible.]

[spiritee]

[Oh, dear. Ashiya angles his head to better face Mai, though his position is such that he has an eyeful of both parties.]

Had to? Ah . . . he requires a "hug with feeling," right?

iii

[rollin]

[ Yata doesn't know how he got stuck with this girl. He was just making his way through the labyrinth and, well, he couldn't leave anyone in need behind. But now she has to go out of her way to be a moron. No. Stop. It's nearly impossible for him to talk to girls, but in times like these... he grabs her wrist. ]

You idiot! [ It's a harsh whisper. ] He's obviously a fucking pervert!

[ The minotaur can hear you, Yata. ]

[upcard]

[Yata, you're a saint, dealing with this moron. She's a bit surprised when he grabs her wrist, but she freezes, eyes widening as she looks at him. He's taken care of her throughout this crazy labyrinth, so she does trust him (more than she probably should, but she's naive that way).]

O-oh... but...but he said that a hug is all he wants...and then he won't hurt anyone, right?

[So well-intentioned, but so naive....and that minotaur sure heard that, looking very irritated now that he's not getting his hugs.

Oh. He might be gearing up for a charge....]

[rollin]

[ He turns red when their eyes meet, too flustered by the contact and shocked by her naivete to say anything. He doesn't know if the minotaur is telling the truth, but he's pretty sure he looks more trustworthy than a bull on steroids. ]

Yeah, but— [ As the minotaur gets in position, Yata's tone starts to change. ] We gotta make sure he doesn't kill us first!

[ His eyes shine red and he yanks Mai's wrist without a second thought as the beast signals its attack with his feet and runs at full speed. They barely make it out of harm's way, but Yata knows he can't pull Mai around forever. ]

...get on my back!

iii!

[souredsweet]

[Laughing sounds like a good option, but it is tragically one that Kaoru can't take... SO STOP HER IT IS, because there's like a 50/50 chance that the minotaur is going to turn out to be some crazy murdermachine in disguise. It's a thing that happens more frequently than a person might think...

Kaoru will gesture from off to the side, at a sAFE DISTANCE because who even approaches these things without a weapon?? Mai?!]

Miss—! Please come this way!

[Because Kaoru sure isn't going that way...]

[upcard]

[Mai does things like that without weapons because Mai is a loser. Of course, the moment Kaoru is catching Mai's attention, she turns, blinking with wide eyes and--

... this person looks very familiar. Like...Chizuru, but...

The thought of Kaoru from Syn doesn't cross her mind immediately, if only because there's a stark contrast between the Kaoru she last saw and this Kaoru--but nonetheless, the familiarity is enough to get her to pause. Which is not good, since she should be moving, especially now that the minotaur knows it's not getting its hug.

It charges. But with her combined otome protag luck, Mai manages to trip and tumble right before that minotaur can get her, barely avoiding that unfortunate encounter.]

Oh--!

[good job, team]

[souredsweet]

[TEAM MORON IS FORMED ON THE FLY and they're already doing so well, wow.

But luckily for Kaoru, the fact that Mai seems to have slid off into temporary oblivion seems to be enough to distract the minotaur for a second. The opportunity will be sWIFTLY SNATCHED as Kaoru moves (perhaps a little too quickly for someone wearing a kimono) to where she's fallen, holding both hands out.]

Quickly, come with me—! [IF YOU WANT TO LIVE

probably, anyway. There's no telling where Kaoru will hit the threshold where it's like "wow this isn't worth the cred anymore" and ends up ditching whatever poor soul is being dragged along at the time.

THAT SAID, time to try helping her to her feet while also backpedalling swiftly, since the minotaur is huge and bulky and can't follow into the hiding places that Kaoru can get to.]

ii!!

[amemory]

[did someone call for an expert at combat]

Take that!! [suddenly Totsuka interrupts the reindeer's murderous attempt by slamming his shoulder into it, and watching it fly into a snow-covered tree]

[how did that even work, who knows?? but he doesn't waste a single moment, and instead holds his hand out for Mai's]

Here, let's go! [the expert at combat chooses to flee]

[upcard]

[hello combat expert. Mai's all about fleeing though. Fleeing is great, she has experience in that. So she runs along with him, taking his hand and doing her best despite her general otome-level clumsiness that is sure to bite them soon.

Until then though--]

T-thank you...!

[amemory]

[running away and holding hands it's the dream]

You're welcome! [cheerfully, over his shoulder] Ah, but I should probably say that after we get to the mall, huh.

[the more they run though, the more totsuka starts to... slow down... look he's not good with the running]

iii

[immobileyes]

[ Wow, that girl sure is brave, hugging a giant... bull. Thing. Mary is in awe, but Mary is also observing this from a helpful corner, because she really doesn't want to go near it. ]

Please don't get eaten...

[upcard]

[Isn't she just....... brave, or stupid, take your pick. Regardless, Mai has decided she will do this, and thus she will. It's scary, but she's seen scary. She's seen krakens and zombies, and this... this is frightening, but also something she can do.

She steps forward, takes a deep breath, and wraps her arms around the minotaur, and...it seems to have worked...??

Though she hasn't noticed Mary, sorry Mary. Instead she steps back away from the monster on trembling legs, and then collapses in a heap when she's far enough away, breathing out a breath of relief. PHEW....]

[immobileyes]

[ Oh gosh Mai-- it'll take Mary a few minutes, but then she'll inch closer and tentatively call out to her. ]

U-um... are you all right? Can you stand?

iii

[inparacosm]

Y-You shouldn't do that!

[ WHOA MAI. STEP AWAY FROM THE MINOTAUR.

Even if he's asking for hugs, Mirai isn't taking any of this. ]

Even if he only wants hugs, he's clearly rancid! Putrid!

[ Don't piss off the Minotaur now... ]

[upcard]

[MIRAI, CALM DOWN... Mai freezes at the shout, but...doesn't that seem kind of mean? She hesitates, halfway to the minotaur and looking back at Mirai, which is not a good place to be.]

U-um... I don't think that's...a very nice thing to say...

[MAI, FOCUS, THIS IS A MONSTER...]

[inparacosm]

Eh? Do you really want to hug it then?

[ The minotaur doesn't look happy, that's for certain. ]