//TESTDRIVE13.EXE

[reparator]

//testdrive13.EXE

Welcome to CERES' new dating experience -- ABOMIDate (Catchy, huh?). They've found that they're a little concerned with everyone's ability to... connect with denizens of different species, and in a place like Cerealia that is full of aliens, that's a Big Problem! After all, it's pretty clear by now that there are a lot of things about your friendly neighborhood aliens that you just know nothing about. What else do you not know? That the greeting of a Faswwg is face licking? That feathered species require mating dances to woo? That [REDACTED] needs [REDACTED] to [REDACTED]? So clearly, the way to fix this problem is...to practice dating other species! Namely eldritch abominations! In CERES' experience, eldritch abominations really sum up the full interspecies dating way of life and provide you a variety of different species (and orifices) to enjoy. So it's time to put on some proper music -- no, not that, that's not right. There, that's better. Anyway, time to put on some sexy background music, and woo the monster of your dreams! [ horrifying noises of nightmares and despair ]

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I [ 800 ] Welcome to the new and improved Abominable Dating, CERES’ brand new virtual dating experience! The first thing you will see will be a character select screen, because CERES wants you to get to the dating part right away. Don’t worry, there are a lot of beautiful and handsome candidates to choose from so feel free to jump right in! There’s this fellow, or this dashing lass and even a hidden character who is... not really all that hidden if they’re right there to be picked, but there you go! You have to pick one. There’s no other option, I’m afraid. And once you do, you’ll end up in a room with your date, dressed up in beautiful, date-like clothing. Unfortunately, everyone else who picked that date will also be in the room with you, also dressed up and prepared for dating. This is awkward. It gets even more awkward when your date decides that you look like a great main course. Watch out for those claws/teeth/limbs/etc! Maybe you can work together to take down your starving date, sad as that sounds. PHASE II [ 1000 ] No dating game would be complete without stat boosting sessions. Regardless of how you feel about your current date, you’re locked into the game now (and hopefully not while covered in the blood of your date themselves, though they just come back even if you managed to kill them), and the game is picking a stat it thinks you need to work on. Either your intelligence is deplorable, your charisma is totally lacking, or your strength is at noodly-arm levels. That’s pretty bad. (It doesn’t matter what your actual intelligence, charisma or strength are, the game might be making things up at this point.) Because of this, you’re going to be automatically tossed into a mini-game to increase those stats! This will be fun, absolutely. Nothing but Fun here in ViViD. So regardless of what the game thinks you’re lacking, it’s going to throw you into the same mini-game -- eldritch abomination make-over sessions. You'll show up at a row of dressing rooms, each marked with a sign above the door reading NO INTELLIGENCE or NO STRENGTH or NO CHARISMA in bright red letters. Choosing the right one (embrace your shame) will reveal your initial date to you. They bat their eyelashes in greeting and growl out a very sultry, Will you help me, senpai? Time to get to work! You won’t be able to leave the mini-game until the monster is completely satisfied with its makeover, so it’s time to really tap in to your inner fashion sense. Of course, the fact that you’re all trying to apply makeup to the same monster might make this hard, but you can surely all get along, right? Right? PHASE III [ 1800 ] At first, you were on a date. Finally, you, your monster, candelight. Everything was going right until... well, you made a bad dialogue choice. They asked you what your favorite food was, you accidentally picked "Italian" (or maybe picked it on purpose which makes this even worse!) and then things went dark. When you wake up, you'll find yourself in a cage. The room is dark and dank and there's no light other from the crack of a door somewhere up a flight of stairs. You're in a cage in a basement and there's a key glinting on the table right across the room there. Is it for your cage? Welcome to the Yandere Route. You might not actually be alone though. The cage isn't terribly big but there's enough room for someone else and if you shift around a little, you'll bump into them. Maybe you should share some woes of the eldritch horror dating experience. Maybe you should try and find a way out! Who knows? But there's one thing for sure: You're both extremely naked. Good luck! PHASE IV [ 1830 ] You did it. You’ve gotten to the end of the game, or nearly. You’ve earned up enough affection points somehow. Maybe it was through the eldritch abomination following you around to trying to eat you or maybe it really, really, really liked your makeover. Maybe there was that thing and the cage and some weird pictures it took -- who knows! But now it’s time for the inevitable scene. The confession scene. Except... well, ViViD can’t do confession scenes very well. You'll find yourself there in the schoolyard, dressed in the appropriate school uniforms but... For one thing, there’s a heavy shower of rose petals. A heavy shower. They’re everywhere. They might get in your mouth and face, they’re pooling around your knees, it's a rose petal flood and you're about to drown! For another, the eldritch abomination you chose to romance is getting closer and... closer. And closer. And that sure is a lot of teeth, huh? Is it coming in for a kiss or to eat off your face? It’s... really hard to tell with all the rose petals, isn’t it? To make matters even worse, you can’t move -- you’re locked into the scene until it comes to its proper conclusion. The game is stuck and you're here, suffering through it all. Well, you're suffering unless someone comes and rescues you, but who in the world would interrupt a touching scene like this to do that?! BONUS [ why o'clock ] You know you have to get dressed up nicely for your date. It's an important one! Third date means third base, after all. So, you’re shoved into a closet, and surrounded by tons and tons of choices to pick from. You're spoiled for choice! But, well... no matter what you put on, or even if you just elect to stay in your regular clothing, it changes as soon as you step out of the closet to meet your date. Don’t worry, you look adorable. It can’t be taken off, of course. So you’d better get comfy, because you’re going to be a pink dinosaur for your third date and... your fourth date. And your fifth. Hell, you might still be a pink dinosaur when it comes time to confess! How... cute. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's thirteenth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[sortileges]

It might change how quickly it happens though, don't you think?

[ Though ah... she's quite the feisty one isn't she? He gives him a look in return. ]

That depends on how I feel and what you do next, doesn't it? You have a plan, don't you?

[animated]

Short of throwing every piece of furniture in the room- [ and there goes another desk, sailing past ] -not really. So I’d appreciate some assistance.

[sortileges]

[ That is only helpful in certain situations Charlie?! He winces slightly when the desk crashes towards the creature and she only seems to get even more furious. ]

This is going to be awful to clean up. [ His hands drop to his sides though, apparently being more serious about this whole this now as his head nods up, his eyes flash gold and the creature is thrown backwards by a non-verbal stunning spell. Merlin doesn't take his eyes off her though, instead offers a small piece of advice. ]

You might want to think of stepping back here.

[animated]

[ Oh, damn. That was cool, and Charlie's just a little bit jealous. Why can he have flashy eyes and fling things across the room? ]

Don't have to tell me twice!

[ He quickly skirts out of the way, taking refuge somewhere behind Merlin ]

[sortileges]

[ It makes things a lot easier, that's for sure... especially considering he can fling things across the room as well. Her skin doesn't exactly look easy to break though, so he'll have to try a different approach. ]

I really hope you're a fast runner. [ He glances back over his shoulder, biting the corner of his lip before he twists slightly. His right hand is held out in front of him, clearly ready to sprint in the opposite direction when he's done.

Why? Because... well. ]

Forbærnan. [ It happens in a flash really, his eyes go gold then suddenly the thing is screaming as it's lit on fire. It helps that Charlie threw so many wooden objects at her too, as the fire spreads quickly.

Merlin doesn't waste time before following that up with a very loud: ] Go go go! [ He even pushes at Charlie's shoulder to get him moving because... well that fire is likely to spread.............. ]

[animated]

[ Charlie manages a bewildered, ] Holy shit. [ And then he's being shoved out of the room. As cool as that was, Charlie has no desire to stick around to find out what charred monster smells like, so he turns and books it. ]

[sortileges]

[ That sums it up rather well, and thankfully they can head through the door before anything else happens. It's very likely she'll still try and charge after them but ... no worries really, he's in good hands (though it may not seem like it when Merlin stumbles through the door rather than runs through it) ]

Left-- [ He reaches for the other's arm, pulling him towards another corridor and ducks as soon as the door is closed. It's only then that he feels like he can breathe properly. ]

...What kind of building is this?

[ Why has it taken him this long to notice, that's the reason question here. ]

[animated]

[ This kid does rather have the air of a puppy who doesn't quite know where his paws are about him.

Charlie lets out a mild squeak of surprise when he gets yanked around a corner- he is totally the most dignified- and once they're in another classroom, he slinks down to a crouch, back against the wall. ] It's a school.

How'd you do that? [ he makes vague motions with his hands, meaning the explosion of flame ]

* REAL QUESTION i hate myself thats what i get for tagging at 1:30am

[sortileges]

[ Well it's mostly to ensure they don't get separated more than anything. Though that is probably true too.

He takes a deep breath as he tries to regulate his heart, his eyes are on the door just in case that thing finds them, though his attention breaks away to look at the other when he asks the question about the spell he cast.

He makes a vague gesture of floating furniture in return. ] How did you do that? [ He follows it up with a shrug. ] Isn't it the same thing? [ Setting a room on fire vs throwing stuff? Sure it is. ]

I didn't even notice, so we were both doing well.

[animated]

There’s a pretty good difference between- [ hand motions to mimic his own style of casting ] -and- [ once again with the explody hand motions. This conversation is extremely deep and meaningful. ]

But that was really magic? It was awesome.

go team!!!! (thumbs up) it's 2:30am this time so let's see how this goes haha

[sortileges]

It's magic. [ How deep. How understanding. Thankfully he gets it easily, they might be onto something here.

Though Merlin can sadly be a bit of a show off, especially when he's getting compliments rather than someone fearing the fact that he has magic. The fact that this place is so open about it, and that Charlie obviously has some form of it has him shifting to cross his legs instead and he holds his hand out in front of himself, palm up.

This time when he casts the spell it's softer, and more focused into the palm of his hand where a tiny flame hovers. ]

Forbearnan.

omg go sleep!!

[animated]

[ Charlie grins. If nothing else comes of this horrible, horrible place, the at least he got to see different kinds of magic at work. ]

I'm so jealous. I have to write a novel if I want to do anything.

i did dkjgnd

[sortileges]

[ That is definitely a positive way to look at this. Really, he's just happy when people are accepting of things like this. ]

Some of the spells are longer. Some I don't need to say anything at all.

[ He picks at his boot, glancing at Charlie with an actual sheepish smile. ] Like what you did before. See.

[ This room also has a few tables and chairs, so with a look to the one dead center of the room his eyes flash, within less than a second it's flung across the room. ]

[animated]

Now you’re just showing off.

[ He says it with a smile, though. He may be a bit jealous, but he’s hardly angry about it. ] If I want to do something like that, the spell as to be written out already.

[ By way of example, he tugs his right sleeve up, showing the inside of his forearm. He’s got a row of runes tattooed there in blue ink. ]

[sortileges]

[ He definitely laughs then though, reaching to rub the back of his neck. ]

A little. [ Having little sense of personal space though, he reaches out to run a finger over the tattooed rune, looking at it with some kind of fascination. ]

And that helps you... cast the spell?

[animated]

[ Charlie doesn't especially mind the contact, and bears the inspection patiently ] It's essentially already cast. All I have to do is think about it and it'll activate.

[sortileges]

[ He glances at him then, a little amazed that magic can work like this as well. ]

I've seen... medallions or stones used like this before but not like this. It's similar yet not similar at all. [ A pause, then ] Is this a language?

[animated]

Kind of? I don't think it can be spoken. Honestly, it's closer to math than actual words.

All of these markings work together to achieve the desired result. If something is incomplete or incorrect, the whole spell falls apart.

[ You got him talking shop, Merlin. Get ready to be in it for the long haul. ]

[sortileges]

Amazing. [ He breathes it out with a little laugh, finally letting go. ] I've seen something like this for telling fortunes at the shop I work at here but... it's another thing to see it like this.

What happens if it falls apart? Just nothing or...?

[animated]

It's not gonna blow up in my face, if that's what you're asking. I guess what happens kind of depends on just what is wrong. I might get nothing, or I might get a completely different result altogether.

[ He grins ] Writing spellwork is fun that way.

[sortileges]

Sounds com-pli-ca-ted. [ He says it slowly and dryly, smiling all the while. Finally, he stretches his legs out in front of him and finally leans back against the wall. ]

What other kinds of spells can you do?

[animated]

That's... kind of a loaded question. My knowledge is pretty my limited to one school of wizardry, but I can do just about anything within that school.

I'm what we call an Animator- I can move and control inanimate objects.

[sortileges]

We've got time. Unless you want to go back to your date? [ He says it with a bit of a laugh at the end, grinning at him. ] Though you may have to have a successful date to finish the level actually. This place can be pretty twisted.

[ Though it's interesting that he specialises in one type rather than studying different forms. ]

I've heard of people specialising in healing before but not just that. My master, Gaius, was a practitioner back in the day, but these days he only uses it for healing that herbs can't really help.

[animated]

God, I hope not. [ He makes a face. ] But do the rules say we specifically have to date one of the monsters?

[ Merlin is… way too young for him, but it’s not like this can’t just be a “hang out and talk about magic” kind of a date. Charlie is all for cheating a system that willingly throws him into the maw of an eldritch horror. ]

The runes we use are way too complicated to learn everything there is to learn, so wizards tend to specialize. We don’t have healers, unfortunately.

[sortileges]

[ Merlin actually has to think about that, looking horribly confused while he does so. ]

I actually have no idea. Sometimes you have to defeat a monster, sometimes you have to solve a puzzle... [ Then again he isn't on the same wavelength as the other at all. Considering... ]

We could run around and try to find you a girl stuck in the same situation as you if you want?

[ Though that kind of magic sounds frustrating as hell to him. ] I'm not very good at healing either, so it doesn't matter that much I don't think.