//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]
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[ still, his smile returns as the other man settles next to him, charmed despite himself. he reminds him a little of some of the other blades he knows. ]
That's very kind of you. [ a brief pause, then he dips his chin again politely. ] I'm the Samonji sword, by the way. Please call me Souza.
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But.... you're not a sword? Or am I hallucinating?! My eyes are broken?!
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[ he's grown so accustomed to being around those that already know what he is that this is all a little strange to explain. ]
My apologies for not mentioning so immediately.
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(No, it doesn't, he'll ask Sousei later.)
Still though he seems to relax once he's confirmed that his eyes aren't broken and his sunny smile comes right back.]
Ah... you don't need to apologize! It shouldn't be expected for you to tell the whole wide world everything about you just when you meet somebody, you know?
Anyway, I'm Kumou Tenka. Nice to meet you, Souza-kun!
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he lifts a hand, fingers brushing a few strands of hair away from his face a little self-consciously. ]
It's very nice to meet you as well, Kumou-san. May I ask? [ he hesitates, fingers tightening around the blade in his lap. ] Have you.. been here long? Is what's been said true?
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How about this? I'll tell you on one condition!
[A DRAMATIC PAUSE but then he just laughs.]
Just call me Tenka.
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.. ah, humans truly have strange eating habits..
he's startled from the thought by the comment, though, eyes lifting to meet tenka's in surprise. .. his face feels hot. ducking his head again to hide it (he's certainly clashing with his hair..), he offers a small, embarrassed nod. ]
T-Tenka-san, then. I'm very sorry.
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So he's just shaking his head then as he continues to poke through the candies, looking for the next weird thing to pop into his mouth.]
You need to stop apologizing, Souza-kun. I'm not mad or anything.
As for what they said about the aliens and the world being destroyed.... you can believe what you want, obviously, but I haven't seen a single alien since I've gotten here. Barely even talked about them. So I don't really believe them yet, you know?
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also please refrain from sticking gross things in your mouth. he'll soon forget his embarrassment and slap it out of your hand if he thinks it's shady. ]
Ah, I'm so-- [ right. stop apologizing. ] But.. why else would they bring us here at all..?
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You haven't had any candy yet!! Don't think he hasn't noticed!!!!!]
I can't really tell you.... They pulled me away from my family and brought me here but haven't given me anything to do besides a regular job to make money. I don't like it much. It's either way too idle here or way too much happening all at once.
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but.. right. important things to discuss. ]
That's very strange. A little distressing, as well. [ a beat. ] Though I suppose if I'm meant to do other things, at least I am quite capable of cooking and housework. And laundry. [ that's right, he's a sword that dusts windows and hangs out sheets. ]
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What...? Really?! My little brother banned me from doing all those things back home.... [because somehow, things would get set on fire or the laundry would be ruined] Souza-kun, you've gotta help me out!
[He says before he picks out more candy? This one says a mix of caramel and chocolate.... Ah well, he holds it out to drop it into Souza's hand if he wants it.]
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Ah, Tenka-san.. could it be that they aren't strong points for you..?
[ or perhaps his younger brother is just that respectful of his older brother. given tenka-san's jovial personality, though, it seems far more likely to be the former than the latter. ]
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Because it's a struggle, okay. He doesn't want to say it out loud even though his vaguely disgruntled expression probably makes that pretty clear.
Though instead of answering directly he just grumbles a little petulantly-]
Not for lack of trying! I've been here three months and I think I've figured out the rice cooker a bit better!
{-ish. His rice probably switches between being a little too soft or a little too firm. How do you keep it from burning at the bottom anyway....]
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he reaches out, long fingers curling briefly over the other man's hand and patting it gently. ]
Don't worry, Tenka-san. If you like, I'd be glad to help you sort these things out.
[ after all, souza himself had learned them not that long ago. being a literal sword for most of his existence means that he'd had little use for such knowledge until recently. ]
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Yeah! Camaraderie!!]
I never expected to have the Samonji sword offer to help me with cooking, but I'm not complaining.
I'm in your hands, Souza-kun!
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[ of course, he's currently ownerless, which is.. distressing. it's terrible not knowing who will own him next. what if it's someone awful..?
--he'd rather not think about it. instead, he pops the caramel-filled chocolate into his mouth. he's pleased at first, then surprised by the filling, then a little melty in his seat. ]
.. Oh. What was that one..?
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[This is interesting, okay!! Tenka doesn't use a sword anymore but he's still interested what the world must be like from their eyes. Though at the question, he's laughing as he digs for another one of the same candy. Pulling it up, he reads the wrapper.]
Chocolate and caramel mix! Is it really that good?
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[ he shifts in his seat, turning to face tenka properly and curling a little more comfortably. ]
It was very good. I've had chocolate, but not the caramel part before.. Saniwa-sama introduces us to new things from time to time, but we keep so busy..
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So he shrugs and turns toward Souza before nudging another chocolate and caramel candy over to him.
Then with a curious look and a genuine smile, he tilts his head.]
I've got time for a long story if you don't mind sharing it.
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[ his teeth catch at his lower lip, eyes lifting to meet the human's. ]
To my understanding, there's an organization that wishes to re-write history to their benefit. We're sent to various points in time to fight them. [ a slightly embarrassed smile. ] To be quite honest, it all still seems a little unreal. But.. it's.. nice to be used for what I was created for once more.
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You... enjoy fighting in the war, Souza-kun?
[Okay yeah, that's what confuses him more. He's a little worried and it shows in his voice. Though he supposes that makes sense - if it's a sword's purpose....
But he does tilt his head regardless. The Souza in front of him seems so mild-mannered and kind. Tenka already feels upset at the idea of him getting hurt.]
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I think the question you're truly asking is if I enjoy the war, which I do not. War is an ugly thing that consumes and ruins lives and nations. But..
[ he offers a small, slightly tired smile, brittle and uncertain at the edges. ]
.. I'm a sword, Tenka-san. I was forged for battle. I was created to serve and protect my master. I've.. I've missed doing that. [ he takes a trembling breath, curling his fingers together in his lap. ] I wasn't meant to-- to be kept in a cage. But it's all I've known since Oda-sama.
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Ah. Okay.
Then I'm glad - if you feel like you're fulfilled, that's what matters. As long as you're doing what makes you happy, that's all I wanted to know.
[With just as much certainty and probably overt friendliness, he nudges Souza's hand open to hold it properly, grinning brightly.]
No one's ever gonna put you in a cage again. Promise.
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no one's ever promised him something like that. even the sage who'd given him this body. and even if tenka's lying, or naive, or foolish, it's beautiful to hear. ]
You shouldn't.. promise things like that, [ he murmurs, but when he lifts his head again, there's warmth in the mismatched eyes and in the curve of his mouth. ] .. Thank you for saying it, though.
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