//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[prehensible]

[ yes. yes, tenka really does need to be more careful. what a reckless human being. he's so different from literally all of souza's prior owners that he almost doesn't know what to do with him. but then, his personality is like some of the shinsengumi blades and the tantos he mothers, so it's.. familiar enough at the same time.

he clicks his tongue with a rueful shake of his head. ]

Tenka-san, as a human being, I think it's quite possible that you're too trusting if you'll pardon my saying. [ s-sigh. ] .. Though it appears to be part of your charm..

[1/2]

[sunshrouded]

[sorry it appears he latched onto one part of that and one part alone:]

Well it's true that I'm quite charming...

[sunshrouded]

[ . . . . hah. Okay he keeps that look up for a second before he seems to laugh at himself, shaking his head.]

You worry too much, Souza-kun.

[prehensible]

[ .. ah this is the man he's going to be living with, yes... ]

I suppose that I do.. [ he curls a few strands of his hair around his index finger, looking a little sheepish. ] It comes of having brothers, I suppose.

[sunshrouded]

[Good job Souza, you've hit one of Tenka's major topics of interest: family.

So at the mention of brothers he's perking up and smiling before he even says a word. But he loves talking about family and he doesn't know how swords can be brothers but that's a minor detail.]

Ah? You too, Souza-kun?

Are you the eldest too?

[prehensible]

[ his smile returns, warming his whole expression. ] I have two. [ two that he's aware of, anyway. surely his creator had made other blades in his lifetime, but not all of them had survived, and they'd always been separated from one another. ] All three of us were crafted in the 14th century, but I can't recall the year that I was forged. Kousetsu might know. .. Either way, he's taller than I am and he does his best to take care of Sayo and I, so I think he suits the oldest brother role well. [ he leans against the back of the bench, curling neatly into it like a pink kitten. ] Sayo is a tanto, so he's small. He looks perpetually like a child, and in a lot of ways, he really is one. [ his smile fades a little, gaze ducking to his hands, curled in his lap. ] .. I do what I can to make certain he knows he's loved. He deserves so much better than what he's had to experience..

[ he takes a deep breath, then releases it slowly, glancing back up again. the smile's strong again, amusement flickering into his mismatched eyes. ] .. They're not quite so dramatically-coloured as I am, if you were wondering. They both have blue hair and eyes. [ that established, he shifts to peer at tenka in apparent deep interest. ] What about you, Tenka-san? You said that you're the eldest in your family? What are your siblings like? Are they here? [ slow down, souza. don't overwhelm him with questions. ]

[sunshrouded]

[ . . . . heh. Tenka relaxes a bit then, looking considerably more serious as Souza goes on about his brothers. But that should come as no surprise - Tenka knows plenty about thinking that his younger brothers deserve more from the world than what they've gotten. So he hums in affirmation before digging through the candy again, idly. Chuutarou would like these, he thinks.]

I've got two little brothers - Soramaru and Chuutarou. Soramaru's 16 years old and he's getting bigger and better every day. He was here for a bit but... well, he's not here anymore, but I know that he's safer back home so I think that's fine. Chuutarou hasn't shown up yet though - he's the baby of the family, just 12 years old. Thinks he's invincible and never worries about anything for too long... I really envy him!!

[But he laughs happily and unabashedly, full of warmth. His brothers aren't with him, but they truly are the source of his strength.]

They're rambunctious kids and there's never a dull moment with either of them. [And he meets Souza's eyes then, his own unbearably soft with fondness.] They're my whole world.

[prehensible]

[ his expression lights up as tenka talks about his brothers. what cute names. he has to wonder if they'd get along with sayo. to be honest, he's not sure how sayo will weather the decades and centuries, being eternally a boy-- but however he'll manage, souza intends to be there for him. as long as he can, anyway. ] I suppose that's the prerogative of children. They shouldn't have to worry about things. [ he reaches out, gathering one of tenka's hands up again, squeezing it affectionately. ] You sound like a wonderful big brother.

[ he strokes a thumb briefly over the other man's knuckles-- he's a tactile creature. having known a great deal of unpleasant touch and handling in his life, he finds that he's quite fond of things like this, and people that don't mind his desire for positive contact. ]

It must be a little scary, though, watching them grow up..

[sunshrouded]

[The holding of his hand just gets Tenka to smile again, laughing a bit. Hey, he's a touchy person himself, this isn't much of a big deal to him. Though it is considerably gentler than he's used to - even with Shirasu there was a lot of bumping and roughhousing... but hey, this isn't bad either.]

I want to be a wonderful big brother - that's what's most important to me.

[So... the compliment is deeply appreciated. If he can even try to be as good to them as they've been to him, then he thinks he's happy. Though honestly.... Tenka snorts faintly.]

It is scary. Soramaru wants to get stronger so that he can surpass me so he's constantly running into dangerous situations. Chuutarou's at least happy to be a kid for a while longer.... but they're both gonna be much stronger than I am. I don't doubt that at all.

[He says while he can still knock Soramaru flat on his ass. Whatever.]