//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

hiro hamada | big hero 6

[millionth]

[why:

why not? it's hard to imagine a place where movies aren't your normal every day thing, but if they aren't he's not going to miss it. besides, it's not every day he's allowed to go alone and pick out ANY movie, regardless of rating. the whole rating system here is pretty weird but hey, z's got to be the highest rating, right?

come on, he can't help being curious what movies rated higher than pg-13 are like!

but this is pretty disappointing. look, he's all about helping people and doing good things and all, but he was kind of hoping for something more...exciting. why didn't he go for decease harder when he had the chance?

when he starts seeing the happy memories, though, great days he had with his family, he starts, then frowns and leans forward in his seat, finally looking interested. that's...weird. you might find him glancing over at you, trying to gauge your reaction.

or you might find him trying to get away from the cleaning robot, arms raised defensively.]

Whoa, hey, it was just a little popcorn! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

[save him...]

[psycholawgy]

[ She's already bawling her eyes out and then there's some noise. She can't help but check it out! She gets up from her seat—sorry other patrons, you're going to have to deal with her giant ponytail silhouette getting in the way of your movie viewing—to check on what the commotion is all about. ]

Hey! What's the big idea?! Dramatic moment over here?!

[ And she angrily points at the movie screen. ]

[millionth]

Sorry! This robot is — waugh!

[in his haste to avoid being paddled or some other awful fate, he's definitely tripped over his own feet and slid down the steps at the side of the theatre. on his face, which is both kind of painful and very disgusting.]

Get back here, you little — [luckily whatever name the robot decided to call him is drowned out by a swell of dramatic music, keeping this scene appropriately rated g.]

[psycholawgy]

[ Okay, no more angry Athena! She runs to Hiro and pulls him up, then points a finger the robots. ]

Objection! This guy's not what you're accusing him off! Look at him - he's totally innocent!

[sjokolade]

[Meanwhile Anna was trying to figure out what movie to watch. With so many selections, she didn't even know where to begin! These things weren't even invented yet back home so this was so exciting! Oh where to start?

Let's see, she thought to herself, she could watch this movie! Oh but this other one looked so interesting! How about this other one? She just couldn't just choose!

However, when she sees a kid trying to run away from a cleaning robot (...And was that a paddle?), she wasn't just going to stand by and do nothing!]

Hey, what's going on over here?

[millionth]

[hiro manages to buy a little time by vaulting over a trash can, which about expends his quota for ability to look remotely cool for the day.]

Crazy robot! Way too serious about cl —

You, [booms the robotic voice. hiro cringes.]

— gotta run!

[sjokolade]

[She wasn't even sure what was going on but there was one thing she knew!]

Get back here, you can't treat a kid like that! Aren't there any rules against that type of thing?

[And then the chase was on! Whatever that weird machine was, she was going to put a stop to it!]

Are you even listening?!

[axilium]

[This is actually one of the worst things he's ever watched, and he regrets everything besides the thought that maybe he can convince Elcia to watch this and they can suffer together.

... When the memories start playing, though—well, things become a little less boring.

Belph catches Hiro glancing over at him, at which he smiles wryly and comments—]

This probably violates some law about privacy somewhere, doesn't it?

[millionth]

Probably more like a few.

[his frown is a thoughtful one, not an unhappy one, so it's easy to return belph's smile before he's looking at the screen critically.]

So you can see it too...which means I'm not crazy. [always good to know] ...but why my memories?

[he assumes they're seeing the same thing! and in that case, why single him out?]

[axilium]

[... His memories?

If Belph were a nicer person, he could tell Hiro that that's actually not the case, because Belph sure isn't seeing his memories, but he's not a nicer person, so.]

Well, let's see... have you done anything to piss off our highly suspicious rule—I mean have you done anything to earn the attention of CERES?

[guidetoblivion]

[Ask and you shall receive; tall, dark and blindfolded here certainly doesn't feel any remorse about taking advantage of the robot's blindspot and cutting it to size. Once he's certain that the cleaning bot won't get up again, Riku dismisses the wing-shaped sword in his hand, tilting his head lightly in concern.]

You okay, kid?

[millionth]

[his jaw pretty much dropped the moment riku appeared, and it's with an effort he shuts it now. he's quiet for maybe half a second, all wide eyes — first staring at riku's blade, then slowly migrating up to his face — before he answers.]

I'm fine...wow. That was awesome. [this is definitely an appropriate reaction] How'd you do that? And where'd your sword go? Where you do keep it? Wait, is it contractible? Convenient...and really cool. I've never seen anything like it.

[thiS IS JUST LIKE HIS VIDEO GAMES!!! more importantly, what is this cool tech and how does he learn it??

see what you've done, riku.]

[guidetoblivion]

[He might not exactly 'see', but-

Well, Riku might seem just a little bit startled – this is definitely not the reaction he usually gets. In his experience people are usually wary of tall guys that use darkness swords, they don't question where said tall guy puts that sword once he's done using it.]

...Uh. Magic?

[Sort of, maybe? Riku doesn't even know, folding away his weapon has come to him as naturally as breathing the moment he first closed his hand around Soul Eater. It's not really magic – not in the sense of what Riku usually understands as such... but it's the next best explanation.

How does one explain hammer space when they don't know the term for it anyway?

In any case, it's really not that special.]

[stagewright]

[ You know what, this is a lot safer than the film she'd caught with her father earlier. Who knew that a pony movie would be - well, it's safe to say that Trucy's expression as she watched the film start up was incredibly wary. Once it proves to be a film about just helping people with random small things, however...

...well, yeah, she can totally take this after the pony film. Never, ever should the pony film be spoken of ever again. Ever.

And the images that seem to be spliced in - well, she doesn't mind seeing these moments, although she's glancing around to see if anyone else noticed what seemed to be a day out with her father, shopping with Pearl, showing Apollo a trick...that's when she sees a boy maybe a year or two younger than her being - why is a robot attacking him, um. Trucy will just lean over across a few empty seats - ]

It looks like you could use a rescue!

[ But he'll need to say yes just in case he like, wants to be attacked by a robot? People here are weird, maybe it's a hobby, so she's checking first. Saying yes may involve an escape with smoke and glitter, so choose wisely, Hiro. ]

[millionth]

[trucy do you usually encounter people who enjoy being attacked by robots...then again, you could make a lifetime movie about his life and call it attacked by robots: the hiro hamada story, so maybe she can't be blamed after all.

in any case, he looks over while still backing away from the when she speaks, consternation written all over his expression.]

Gee, you think?

[stagewright]

[ ...do you really want to ask that, literally everyone in ace attorney is crazy in some manner or another, hiro. someone in the canon probably does enjoy being attacked by robots, let's not kid ourselves.

as it is, the teenaged girl in a magician's top hat smiles - and claps her hands.

she also may or may not have tossed smoke and glitter pellets or whatever the hell she has that causes that while she clapped her hands, but one way or another there sure is suddenly a lot of smoke. and glitter. and she'll reach out for where she'd judged his hand to be to tug him out towards the exit. ]

Let's go, then!

[sunshrouded]

[ANIKI SENSES ARE TINGLING!! THERE'S A YOUTH IN TROUBLE-

But honestly after being interrupted from a movie where he was having his own nostalgic moments for happy days with his brothers, it's not hard to motivate Tenka to help a kid out. So he's getting out of his seat rather automatically and sliding in easily to step between Hiro and the robot, drawing his fan.

It looks like a normal fan up until it collies with the paddle with a very metal clang.]

Whoa there! Accidents happen, right? No need to keep bullying the poor kid!

[millionth]

[— whoa. now that is a very cool fan, and it's one of those things hiro notices now and mentally files away for inspiration for future projects. the great thing about being a superhero in your free time is that you have a lot more justification to try out all your cool ideas, because you never know when you're gonna need something. especially when the only thing "super" about you is your robot and your special suits — neither of which he has on hand right now, meaning he's okay with shrinking behind tenka (which is different from hiding behind him, thank you very much).

as for the robot's response, it's been censored for the sake of preserving innocent disney ears; but there's a regrettable use of vulgarities to indicate that, no, it doesn't really think the kid's been bullied enough. cleanliness is a virtue, so it aims for another strike with that paddle.]

[sunshrouded]

[God, that paddle is so gross. Tenka matches it just as easily with the metal fan then, another clang of metal and then he's just making a pretty disgusted face because-]

C'mon, man!! This is a family establishment!

[Maybe?! No.... these movies aren't very family friendly at all. But Tenka's not hesitating then to just raise a leg and with strength that is... dubiously superhuman, proceeds to kick the robot right off its legs. Then he's turning to Hiro with a huge, goofy grin-]

Alright, we're running now!

[And without much further ado, he's kind of just reaching to haul Hiro over his shoulder and then haul ass out of the theater.

If Hiro looks back at the robot, he might notice a dent in the metal from Tenka's kick. Hm.]

[thenameofscreen]

[ What is all this going on over here? She was just coming back from a trip to the concession stand when she saw... well, THIS. Where she's from an apology is typically not an invitation for pursuit with a flat weapon. If this is some sort of new trend Starfire is not digging it.

The paddle in the robot's hand begins to drip like an ice cream bar in an oven as two bright green beams concentrate on it, reducing it to a smoldering, bubbling stump of melted metal. It's followed by a sweet and polite tone from the orange skinned teenager carrying the jumbo sized tub of popcorn and a bottle of mustard (seriously they serve popcorn that large?!). ]

I do not believe it is very polite to assault your unarmed guests...

[millionth]

[hiro might be a part-time superhero and all, but his world is one of high tech, not magic or aliens. so while the threatening robot is scary and all, it's not actually out of the ordinary. an orange-skinned girl laser eyesing metal into liquid, on the other hand? really out of the ordinary. so his jaw drops even as the robot turns on starfire with disapproval crackling through its voice]

It's also impolite to litter! And now I can't even punish the people who do!

[the robot harrumphs, but leaves, at least, after all that. hiro's still pretty slack-jawed, but he manages —]

That was... [INSANELY WEIRD AND INSANELY COOL] wow.

[hollower]

[Hiro is definitely not the only one getting a shock from the subliminal messaging of the playing movies. The woman sitting beside him - who looks like she just stepped out of a harajuku fashion show, mind you - seems riveted as well, her brows knit in a tight line as her eyes survey the screen. It's not long before she feels eyes on her though, and glances sideways to meet Hiro's gaze. She looks at him, then back to the screen, and again to him.]

Can...c-can you see that, too? [She's going to be pissed if anyone else can see her fluffy, cute memories. Those are private.]

[millionth]

[see, he'd been about to ask the same thing, so it startles an honest reply out of him.]

Yeah.

[except that's kind of a weird thing to ask if she's seeing him up there with his family, right? she'd recognize him from the images and...well, he doesn't know, but probably not ask if he can see it too with that look on her face.]

Wait. What do you see?

[hatsoff]

[... Why doesn't it surprise him that the first thing he sees when he walks into the theater is Hiro trying to escape the wrath of a cleaning robot?

It also shouldn't be surprising that Tadashi immediately steps in between them, attempting to rescue his little brother.]

Is there a problem here?

[millionth]

He littered all over a clean theater!

[hiro's just...going to slide behind his brother, because when their opponent is a tall cleaning robot, tadashi has a definite height advantage.]

Hey! Not all over it!