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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2015-03-07 10:20 am
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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000


Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))
"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I
[ 00:00 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II
[ 00:00 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III
[ 00:00 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV
[ 00:00 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V
[ why:o'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE
Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!


frozenflame: (Fucking Run!)

[personal profile] frozenflame 2015-03-10 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Did it just...

[Yukiko slams her fist against the door. Hoo boy was she mad! So mad!]

DID IT JUST LEAVE?!
harepiece: gilbert's a grandma (you're good at cooking! and knitting!!)

[personal profile] harepiece 2015-03-10 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes!! [He didn't even consider it that far, honestly?! Ten chocolate caramel cookies. Ten Ten for only like five points! It's such a bargain that he's excitedly bouncing to his toes, pressing his hands to the metal part just above the glass.]

That's basically everything you could need while watching a movie, right?
faithfulflame: (Rei Annoyed)

[personal profile] faithfulflame 2015-03-10 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Ugh, alright, then let's...go get milkshakes or something. I've got better things to do than see depravity on camera.
lackoftrust: ιмσgεη нεαρ, тнε ωαℓк (twisting beside myself)

[personal profile] lackoftrust 2015-03-10 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
It's that big? ... I guess I hadn't really thought about that.

[She'd been too busy screaming at porn.]
aerialassault: (cocky -- dat splatter)

Theater IV

[personal profile] aerialassault 2015-03-10 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
What? Hothead Jack there can't go ridin' 'round on his raptor, killing mooks?

[Cliff was sprawled out in his seat, feet kicked up on the headrest of the chair before him and arms crossed across his chest. He grinned as he spoke, but it was utterly devoid of humor; there was a dangerous glint in his eyes.

He knew exactly what she was talking about, and he'd be damned if he admitted to catching glimpses his 876th defeat against his willowy partner in crime flickering across the screen between the incredibly elaborate explosions.]
faithfulflame: (Priestess Proper)

[personal profile] faithfulflame 2015-03-11 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
Ahhh...

[That doesn't get a really weirded out reaction from her. She seems a little nonchalant if anything.]

And you fight them then?
faithfulflame: (Priestess Meditation)

Work ate me

[personal profile] faithfulflame 2015-03-11 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
Oh. Well, I know a bit. But my...um...powers? Aren't really spirit channeling. I can, but I'm better at binding them. And other things. Fortune-telling, especially.
Edited 2015-03-11 00:02 (UTC)
faithfulflame: (Rei Long Suffering Sigh)

[personal profile] faithfulflame 2015-03-11 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
Fair enough. But...who was it? I mean, who'd have the nerve to hit you?

[She won't ask, that rankle of irritation in the other woman's sense was enough to turn her from that line of questioning.]
onbehalf: (pic#)

[personal profile] onbehalf 2015-03-11 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
[Yeah, wow, Soramaru's looking incredibly flustered... She doesn't really know what he's so concerned about (why shouldn't she go in there?), but there are more important things to worry about.]

Are you feeling okay, Soramaru-san? Your face... It's a little red.

[Actually, maybe "a little" is an understatement...]
faithfulflame: (Rei Pissed)

[personal profile] faithfulflame 2015-03-11 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
[The teenager looked over at him, her own eyes sparkling with indignation. Was he making fun of her?]

You don't see the other scenes? Don't tell me you didn't see that...
punchesyu: (idk what to name this)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-11 12:14 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, you look a little beat up...

[Says without thinking first]

I don't think I'll be sitting down for a week-! What the hell was up with that?
punchesyu: (and this scene was sad)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-11 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
[WHAT THE HELL WHO IS THIS MIDGET]

PIPE DOWN? Shut up! You'd be mad too if you saw that kinda crap up there!

[He points angrily to the screen THIS IS SO NOT RIGHT]
niceguypose: (ride me)

[personal profile] niceguypose 2015-03-11 12:18 am (UTC)(link)
[A legitimate excuse.]

That's right! The city has a number of sectors. When I have a free day, I should try to explore every last one of them!
bozu: (admiring the view :9)

[personal profile] bozu 2015-03-11 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
[YOSUKE'S WORST NIGHTMARE

Looking doubtfully up at the screen, though -]


... I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to point out, here.
Sure, it's a bit crude, but it's a perfectly natural thing!

Or... are you more of a softer type?
sjokolade: (And your little dog too!)

[personal profile] sjokolade 2015-03-11 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
[At this point, Anna was rolling her eyes. She was waiting this long over some stupid order? She wasn't the only one, there were a couple of people behind her with the same expression as her. Great, she thought to herself, that's how she wanted to start off her first time at the movies.

As she marched forward, she quickly glared at the cashier straight in the eyes before slamming some money down]


All you want is for him to get something else other than water right? So here, he can take whatever else or you can take my own money instead of keeping everyone waiting!

[Real smooth there, Anna, but the problem was will Tieria take it?]
sjokolade: (DNW)

[personal profile] sjokolade 2015-03-11 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
[As they left the place, Anna wasn't even looking where she was going. The moment the doors opened, she quickly found herself tripped and went straight to the ground! Although, she wasn't even aware that the robot stopped going after them and instead?

She turned around and looked like she ready to give the fight of her life! With a rock on her hand, she quickly turned around and...!]

sjokolade: (Squeeee)

[personal profile] sjokolade 2015-03-11 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
[And Anna didn't seem to notice for now. Instead, she just smiled widely at him]

Back home? Well, I live in a kingdom called Arendelle! It's usually pretty cold during the winters but during the spring? It's really really pretty with so many flowers around! And the fjords are an awesome place if you want to go on a boat somewhere!

And the people are really friendly too if you ever have trouble finding your way around! If they aren't? Well, then they're going to have to come talk to me! No one can say no!

[Can you tell how proud she was of her kingdom?]
invisibleair: (Default)

i

[personal profile] invisibleair 2015-03-11 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
[ Saber is not quite amused. She isn't certain she had wanted to sit through any sort of film (she's not quite the movie type after all) but she hadn't expect either of those outcomes.

Worse, she feels herself gripping her hand tightly around nothing, managing to keep her sword away for the time being. Pulling Excalibur because she is annoyed with CERES (again) is probably not something a King should do. ]


Did you witness that display?! [ So instead she turns to the woman next to her, yelling at her as if she had something to do with it. ]
aerialassault: (cocky -- dat splatter)

[personal profile] aerialassault 2015-03-11 12:25 am (UTC)(link)


See what? I didn't see anything!

[Except, judging by the odd flush of anger and embarrassment that reddened his face, he totally did.]
twomeals: ([derp] 06)

[personal profile] twomeals 2015-03-11 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah! We should definitely get those, then!

[It's the biggest bargain of all time!!]
brusseling: (c)

[personal profile] brusseling 2015-03-11 12:27 am (UTC)(link)
[Now that really got her attention. She was pretty sure she saw her own history go down in front of her eyes along with a bunch of others. Didn't they see the same thing? Maybe but...]

Are you sure? Because wasn't it suppose to be my embarrassing moments? [She was pretty sure! Unless she was hallucinating everything and that wouldn't be good!]
punchesyu: (welp freaking out again)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-11 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
[SOMEONE HELP HIM]

[Looks back to the screen in horror, looks to midget boy, looks back to screen, looks back to midget boy.]

What the hell are you trying to get at here?! There's nothing natural about that! The hell's this got to do with my type!? Stop looking at it!

[WHAT A CREEPER.]
aerialassault: (cocky -- dat splatter)

Cliff Fittir | Star Ocean: Till the End of Time

[personal profile] aerialassault 2015-03-11 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
Theater I

[He had only entered this theater for the rating. Truth be told, he didn't expect much from any of these films, but a film with an A rating just had to be a little decent. Those tended to be the award winners, right?

Wrong.

The ponies he could handle. They were stupidly cute to the point of nearly being obscene-- but, the massacre and subsequent orgy were another story entirely.

Not even half way through the flim, Cliff abruptly stood and stalked out of the theater, a 6'5" hulking behemoth of seething rage stomping out in heavy combat boots that clacked against the tacky linoleum of the stairs.

Question him if you dare, and pray that you don't have blue hair.]


Theater IV

[Tacky shoot'em ups were always good. They were even better when those raptors got involved. There was something almost cathartic about watching the misadventures of Jack an his scaley steed......except.

'Oh hell,' he thought as he witnessed a replay of a willowy blonde hurling him bodily onto the floor.

The last thing he needed was for the people in this place to watch the victory of the woman who had defeated him in a fair spar over a thousand times. He felt his face burning when her coy little smile flashed on screen and she flipped her braid over her shoulder.

If anyone gets splashed with the sticky, caffienated soda that slipped from his hands, it's so not his fault. Blame management.]


Lobby

I want a refund!

[Cliff's tone was loud and agitated as he stalked through the lobby, positively fuming. First Maria, then Mirage-- who next, his Mom?

Have a hothead who is clearly bristling to punch someone-- want to help? Hinder? Get in the way?]


Wild Card!

[Think of anything else? Hit me!]
punchesyu: (sassmaster)

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-11 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
Raw food? What planet are you from? [That is totally not it not at all good try though]

It's like... you ever see those magazines that are definitely adult material?

[Oh boy this will go well]
punchesyu: (dude that's not cool)

Lobby

[personal profile] punchesyu 2015-03-11 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
Me too!

[He says, standing with Cliff at what might be where one would refund money]

This is total bullshit! [Looks at Cliff and nods. YEAH FUCK THESE PEOPLE NEED OUR MONEY BACK.]