//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

tatara totsuka | k project

[amemory]

phase iii

[IT IS COLD AS HECKA IN THIS LABYRINTH...?? Totsuka tucks himself behind a wall in a grand attempt to hide his presence, rubbing his hands for warmth. on closer inspection, you might see the fingers of his right hand start to glow weirdly from time to time.]

[still, when he lifts his head and catches sight of someone, he'll wave them over quickly]

Here! He passed by a few minutes ago, so we should be safe!

phase iv

[there sure is some weird guy lying flat on his back on the floor and staring up at sky as the santa bot dances and credits fall into his face...]

[a few land in his mouth and he coughs and sputters and blinks them away weakly but he SURE IS STILL ON THE FLOOR... not moving...]

...Ugh.

bonus;

[staring up at the sprig of mistletoe over his head. moves to the side, watches it move with him.]

Wow, that's kind of cute! [no totsuka. he starts moving faster, eyes still fixed up on the sprig, so hopefully he doesn't accidentally trod on someone's foot while he isn't looking oops]

bonus fight me. i guess this is after killer reindeer

[unevoke]

[Thanks bro, you just trod on Shinji's foot.

He grunts - a little from pain, a little from the utter rudeness - and is about to let the whole thing slide when he notices just who it is. That cheery guy, from before. Good to know he's still in one piece after all the shit they were forced through.]

You doin' okay?

[He hasn't noticed the mistletoe yet, or else he'd be a lot less casual about all this.]

smooching after a big fight..... A+

[amemory]

[it's shounen protag shinjiro!! Totsuka brightens.]

I'm alright!




[looks down.... oh he definitely just stepped on shinji's foot just now right] Oh, I'm sorry... I totally didn't do that on purpose. I was distracted by that!

[gestures... at the mistletoe.... over their heads....]

priorities, i have them 8)b

[unevoke]

[The sheer enthusiasm radiating off the guy's a little unnerving but Shinjiro takes it in stride, listening neutrally to his explanation and apology before looking towards where Totsuka is pointing.

That's where all neutrality ends.]

—Shit.

[Nope. No way. He is not doing this ridiculous party trick, not even a thousand killer reindeer will convince him otherwise. The vaguely concerned look from before is gone, replaced by a flat expression.]

I'm not kissin' you.

this isn't a real tag

[rosing]

[ totsuka runs, the mistletoe follows, and a young girl's eyes follow his dance. takes a quiet breath before she runs up to him, into him, from behind and just clings onto him. she'll move if he moves, keeping her face hidden under her hood. ]

1/2 It'S REAL TO ME

[amemory]

[????? surprise back hug HOW MYSTERIOUS]

Woah! [he ~dramatically~ staggers forward, but aside from that doesn't make any effort to escape from the clutches of--]

[amemory]

[someone who he can't see... twists around a little, but all he can see is a tiny person in a hood...]

[.....rests a hand on her head and pats her]

Are you one of Santa's helpers? [he HOPES NOT. he has this weird feeling that this is exactly who he's starting to think it is though] Or maybe not... You're a bit shorter than the rest of them!

Oh okay, then I'll tag--

[rosing]

[ the touch on her head is familiar, like his scent. he has always warmed her heart. the red king's powers inside her, she must be warm too.

but she doesn't know what he knows and after a moment to steady herself, calm her heart, she shakes her head, dislodging the hood to reveal white long hair underneath.

she looks up at him, turns her head slightly so that she can see his face. ]

I'm not.

[ santa's helper, not here anyway -- and she's grown maybe one centimeter in the year after his passing and. ]

...Tatara.

iv

[rollin]

Totsuka-san...

[ Yata crouches next to Totsuka, but that sure isn't a look of pity or concern he's giving him. He's this close to snapping, this close— ]

Don't sleep there like you did any work, oi!

[ He won't actually hold Totsuka in a headlock, but if Totsuka was standing up, he would punch him. In the arm. Gently. Maybe. But no. He's just yelling, as usual. ]

[amemory]

[yata yelling at him while he's lying down... nostalgia]

Eh -- I think I did a lot though...! [no.... he didn't.... he probably got rescued by yata like 5000 times. he smiles up at him from the ground....] Remember back with those reindeer?

[remember what]

[rollin]

[ He was also crying and telling him not to sleep! Those parts are very important. like oh my god who gave you the right to sleep that time, asshole

This time is different, though. No one needs to go to the hospital. No one is minutes too late and left traumatized at age eighteen. Totsuka's just being an idiot. ]

Remember nothing! I dunno why I went with your indirect approach bullshit... [ Probably because Yata's dumb and it's Totsuka, duh. ] I shoulda punched those reindeer the moment we saw 'em.

[ But he'll offer a hand. ] You still good?

iv...

[souredsweet]

[oh

wow

this guy's dead. THIS GUY'S SO DEAD. Even if he can manage an "ugh" that's like basically a breath away from death, isn't it?? Who even knows why Kaoru is here because he hates ViViD, but he sure is, probably specifically to be the grim reaper to this poor nerd.]

...Are you all right, sir? You don't seem to be faring well.

those keywords

[amemory]

[at least his grim reaper is super hot... totsuka can now die without any regrets. he looks up at kaoru and smiles!!]

Oh -- no, I'm fine! [waves one hand weakly in an attempt to show how Okay he is.] I'm just a little out of breath -- ! That was my first time, so...

[tries to get up... can he do it]

just 4 u...

[souredsweet]

[also just for you totsuka, he's been gifted with the prettiest angel of death. CONGRATS.

But whoops, this nerd. Since he is clearly Struggling™ with the whole getting up thing, Kaoru will helpfully hold a hand out, brow creased with concern. Very real concern!!]

Your first time... fighting something in ViViD? [QUESTIONING.] If so, perhaps you should wait out the rest of the mission.

phase iv!!

[mokoko]

… Can you get up?

[ He clicks his tongue, because the scene was familiar for all the wrong reasons. He's almost certain that this was Totsuka but not Totsuka (way too complicated)— but like with everyone else so far, some things just didn't change. … Like how he matched the ground too, too well.

While Fushimi doesn't make an active effort to support him, he does brush the Santa bot aside so Totsuka wasn't in its direct line of fire. ]

If you don't, someone could misunderstand. [ It would probably help to not be vague…! ]

yes GOOD

[amemory]

[totsuka x the ground... the true otp. he rolls over onto his side and sighs dramatically.]

Ahhh... [...then he reaches out a hand to Fushimi.] I think I need help...

[is he stretching his luck, he is, isn't he. but totsuka has always been weirdly fond of fushimi, it's like the more he knows fushimi dislikes him, the more he likes him in return. weird.]

terrible

[mokoko]

If you're capable of saying that much, then you're fine.

[ So he says, yet he lingers around anyway, and glances at the hand— sighing, followed by a deliberate pause. ]

… …

[ He hasn't left yet? No? Totsuka needs to love himself more… But. He'll hold out a hand because at the very least, he's not going to be the one doing the grabbing?! ]

imma be a rebel and pick iii, we will also pretend totsuka doesn't sound exactly like soramaru

[allfortheclan]

[ Shirasu has also been stalking the beast's presence, following a careful distance behind. But he hears the second person before seeing them (or before he is seen), and catches a glimpse of the glowing fingers.

He adopts a mild expression when the young man gestures to him. Until he proves otherwise, an ally in this place could be a useful tool. ]

I'd be grateful for a moment to breathe. [ He doesn't seem to feel the cold, although his still-damp clothes are covered in a thin sheen of ice, and his hair is frosted over. ]

LMFAO DOES HE

[amemory]

['until he proves otherwise' do you know just how much of a dead weight totsuka is shirasu. Totsuka makes room for Shirasu though, looking cheerful.]

Take your time! I'll warn you if I see him... [as he says that, he twists himself to the side to quickly peek over the wall] No, we're safe for now.

[for now. anyway, he glances back at shirasu, keeping his voice down to a comical whisper] How long have you been here for?

[YOUR HAIR IS FROSTY SHIRASU]

he DOES! and shirasu has kusanagi's seiyuu...

[allfortheclan]

I appreciate it. [ He wonders if the earnestness is genuine, or just an act.

It is nice to lean against the wall. He does feel like he's moving a bit more slowly.

What is this whispering... ]

Not very long. What about you?

iii also faketags

[demeanour]

[ Izumo's got no patience for a lot of things, like Mikoto being a lazy ass, Totsuka being a dumbass, the whole HOMRA collective being dumbasses and ruining his bar, so of course, he sets some elves on fire and probably managed to escape demon deer with a few scratches.

(His sunglasses, however, are a different story, as they're no longer on his face and are ruined in a forest. They were good glasses.)

Which is how he's in the labyrinth and upon seeing Totsuka motioning for him to hide, Izumo comes over. ]

Today couldn't get any weirder, could it.

why can't this be reality

[amemory]

You can't say things like that, Kusanagi-san! Now things will definitely get weirder. [totsuka says with a laugh and the sort of tone that implies and that would probably be really cool?? he scoots over to make room for his bestie in this super impressive hiding place... aka the wall] Like Monroe's Law or something... Expect the unexpected!

[he got 99% of that wrong]

because i'm too embarrassed to canon review this idiot

[demeanour]

[ —Oddly enough, I picked the icon with the appropriate keywords. Anyway: Izumo sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose. He's only got one thing to say. ]

It's Murphy's, not Monroe's.

[ Yeeep. ]

bonus

[flaredo]

Whoa-- [ and back Yang bounces, one foot lifted ever-so-slightly to save it from... getting stomped on, even though she could've taken it. ] Careful!

totsuka gets to kiss the cutest girl

[amemory]

[likewise, totsuka takes a couple of steps back from her as well, eyes wide]

Sorry about that -- ! I forgot to pay attention... [he forgets to do that a lot probably.] The mistletoe is pretty distracting...

[points up to the one that's still following him]