//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

shinjiro aragaki | persona 3

[unevoke]

PHASE 2

[Shinjiro's no stranger to the mysterious and the arcane. After years of living with - and attempting to deny the existence of - his Persona and fighting Shadows during the Dark Hour, he's used to seeing weird shit pop up all over the place. Murderous reindeer though? That's fucking new.

There's a bit of regret mingled in with copious irritation; he'd learned the hard way that these were no docile creatures after being unceremoniously slammed into the nearest tree. Sporting a bruise on his ribcage and a scowl on his face, Shinjiro's eyes float from reindeer to reindeer as he contemplates his next move.

No axe but—]

Persona!

[There's the single sound of glass shattering in the air and then—Castor, a spectre floating in the air ready to do battle.

Alright. Time to kick some ass.]

PHASE 3

[In comparison to the reindeer, the minotaur is freakishly docile.

Castor had been nigh ineffective and headbutting the thing hadn't worked (and only given him an added lump on his head, very unappreciated). It's like the thing's made of steel except with a definitively furry outside. He wouldn't give a damn about going forward except that going back means more of those berserk reindeer, and while dying's been pretty high on his list of life goals to accomplish, he'd rather go out his own way instead of being trampled by a bunch of buffed up deer.

So there he stands, scowling at the minotaur as though it'll somehow develop laser beams and sizzle the minotaur where it stands. (It doesn't, mores the pity.)

Someone give this poor guy a hand.]

BONUS

[The elves are buried, the reindeer knocked out, and the minotaur finally - reluctantly - defeated, but the poor guy just can't catch a break. Even leaned up against a wall with his beanie pulled low, Shinjiro's still being harassed, this time by a jaunty spring of mistletoe floating right above his head.

Better not get too close. He's covered in blood and sweat and probably hasn't showered in three days. No one wants to kiss that.]

Phase 3

[eyeofthetiger]

[ and while Shinjiro is having the time of his life staring down a minotaur, Dean comes jogging up to join the scene, except... ]

What? Are you kidding me? We've got to take care of this thing next?

[ just excuse him a minute as he puts his hands on his knees and wheezes, taking the small reprieve to catch his breath because until that thing starts attacking him, it's just gonna have to wait! ]

/barnacles onto par too!

[unevoke]

[It's definitely one of the more exciting things he's done in his life, that much is clear. Unfortunately, it's not of the things he enjoys in life, so while Dean huffs and puffs like an old man next to him, Shinjiro merely scowls some more.

(It's one of the few things he's good at, let him have his moment—)]

Physical force doesn't work.

[Matter-of-factly. While he's generally not a fan of company, it's not unwelcome in this case; even he, often detached and avoidant as he is, knows that two heads are better than one. The guy looks older, more experienced. Maybe he'll know something Shinjiro doesn't.]

And I don't have magic or anything, if that's what you're thinkin'.

/nuzzles the val, it's been forever it feels like

[eyeofthetiger]

[ he gives a "huh" look as he looks up and notices that friendly companion of his hovering nearby and then does a double take as he takes a step back. ]

Whoa... What the— Where the heck did that thing come from!

[ because, yeah. The important questions. Dean's got them. ]

it really has been forever!

[unevoke]

[Ah.....maybe he was wrong about the experience. He's been wrong about a hell of a lot of things before.

Shinjiro keeps one eye on the minotaur as he answers his compatriot.]

Not sure. Been there since I got here.

[Warily, he takes a step forward. The minotaur hunches down, nostrils flaring in challenge. Shit. Immediately, Shinjiro steps back again, not wanting to be tenderized and made into someone's (something's) next meal.]

Any ideas?

phase 2222222

[amemory]

[suddenly there is totsuka in the sidelines, eyes wide as he watches this young boy summon some kind of magical creature and look for all the world like a proper video game protagonist.]

Wow, that's really cool! [totsuka on the other hand looks too weirdly cheerful for a guy stuck in reindeers mauling everyone land, plus he's probably being a big dumb distraction... sorry shinji]

yaywonnnnnn /barnacles to you

[unevoke]

[His concentration's broken somewhat by the newcomer - a proper anime protag sacrifice young man, either the same age or older than him - watching his every movement with an alarming amount of enthusiasm and good cheer. And apparently no weapons on his body with which to fight the oncoming threat.

Great.]

Get out of here—

[—is all the warning he has time to yell before the reindeer are stampeding towards him. He snarls, runs forward, one hand darting out in a physical order to his Persona. It heeds his command this time, rushing forth to take on its own foe.

DON'T DIE IN THE BUSHES, TOTSUKA....]

vaAAAAaaL /POCKETS

[amemory]

[immediately dies in the bushes]

[NO instead totsuka's eyes go comically wide as both caster and the reindeer head in his general direction and then he throws himself to the side juST IN TIME TO SURVIVE BEING SHISHKABOBED.]

[pokes his head out of the bushes to keep on watching though]

That was close -- thanks for the warning!

[shinji you're such a good kid...]

/frolics happily in pocket

[unevoke]

[gdit totsuka you had one job—!]

[There's a clash as the two sides meet - Castor butting heads with his target dead on and Shinjiro dodging to the side to let his own opponent. The whoosh of the reindeer past him sends snow flurrying into his eyes, but even blinking furiously as he is, he's aware enough to take in the sight of Totsuka still half-buried in the bushes.

Idiot's still there.

It's with an annoyed huff that he starts running towards Totsuka. Alone he might have some chance of fending off the reindeer long enough to drag himself to safety. With the two of them, their best bet is to run and run fast.

One arm reaches out to grab Totsuka and drag him upright.]

C'mon!

[Unless you really do want to die by reindeer...]

3

[poised]

[Not a hand but an arrow? Honestly Natalia missed all of the earlier attempts to knock down the beast but she thinks that some form of affection would be better than just staring down the minotaur.

Though she's sadly proven wrong as the arrow really doesn't do much to pierce its hide.

Ah. She's blinking as she's left standing next to Shinjiro now.]

... I apologize. I see now why it appears as though your options were exhausted.

[ . . . now what.]

[unevoke]

[The effort's appreciated all the same, and she gets bonus points - and an extra touch of respect - for actually doing something instead of standing around uselessly.

He's never been the brains of the operation but he takes a moment now to mull over possibilities when faced with a steel-hide monster.]

Got any rope?

[He's not...thinking of shooting the rope into the ceiling and swinging over the minotaur or anything, nope. (What, it's not like they got anything better right now.)]

[poised]

Unfortunately not...

[Apparently didn't get the memo that a rope was needed. Regardless, she's got another arrow notched, holding it in place idly for a moment as she tries to analyze the situation. This would be a moment where a spell caster would help, she thinks, but that's not quite her forte.]

Oh! Were you thinking of tying up the monster?

[Yes, that's definitely it.]

[unevoke]

[Yes, that's....definitely what he had in mind, 100%. No point in correcting her anyway; without rope, both of their two ideas aren't going to work.]

Somethin' like that. [Some more silence as he wracks his brains some more, and then:] You think you could fly over if I gave you a boost?

[Maybe not him specifically, but if they can get one out of two past the minotaur, he'll count that as good enough.]

breathes all over bonus

[invoker]

[ Mitsuru watched Shinji do the most un-Shinji thing in public, and that was give the Minotaur a hug. Sure, Shinji's love for Koromaru was practically a given when they were at the dorm, but it was one of those things to be kept in private lest it ruin Shinji's stoic image (thank you Aigis).

So despite Shinji's frowning face, Mitsuru approaches him. It was good to see an old friend. ]

Good afternoon.

[ She's just gonna make do like there's nothing wrong in this situation. ]

mitsuru no.....

[unevoke]

[Shinjiro, unfortunately, hasn't had the same privilege of watching Mitsuru perform un-Mitsuru-like feats of heroics in public, so it's with some surprise that he watches her approach.

It is good to see her, that he can't deny. He just wishes it were under better (and cleaner) circumstances.]

Looks like you didn't get mauled by animals gone crazy.

[But of course she didn't. She's Mitsuru, and the world would probably shatter before she let anything ruin her perfectly poised image.

(There's a faint nagging feeling in the back of his mind to ruin her image by leaning forward to give her a kiss, but it's oh-so-faint right now.)]

[invoker]

No, it's sad to say but I think I'm what they would call an "old hand" at this.

[ She slides her rapier back into its sheathe, having had it out to deal with the monsters. The mistletoe doesn't even register to her as anything more than decoration in the background, one of CERES' "thoughtful" festive touches.

Needless to say, she's not getting any of the kissing vibes. ]

senpaaaaaaaaai bonus

[awaken]

[ No one wants to kiss gross-looking beanie boy except for an equally bloody high school girl. But! Minako has spotted Shinjiro and she pretty much just charges in, all smiles while kinda looking like she killed deer.

(She did. Ish. Details.) ]

Senpaaaaiii! I can't believe you're here, too!

minakooooo if only he knew of you 8(

[unevoke]

[Minako: always more hardcore than Shinji expects, even when he doesn't know she exists. That's a fact that's quickly coming into play right now as he looks up to see some strange girl, just as bruised and bloody as he is, practically launching herself at him. Backwards escape is blocked by the wall he's leaning against, so he's got no choice but to stiffen and prepare for whatever's about to come. (Kissing. It's definitely kissing.)

He doesn't immediately push her away but he does enact Evasive Maneuver #1, which is to warily stare at her and redirect her energy elsewhere.]

Think you've got the wrong person.

[The Gekkoukan High uniform's familiar alright, and Shinjiro's first instinct is to brush her off as one of Akihiko's near constant fanclub. How Aki deals with that on a daily basis, Shinjiro will never know.]

he'll know her eventually 8'(

[awaken]

[ As soon as she's closer, Minako stops, giving both Shinjiro and herself some space.

She's taken aback by the words, as if they've never met (they probably never have, somewhere, sometime), and she can't even feel... well, she can't feel a link either. It's Shinjiro but not the Shinjiro she knows, not the one who gave her his watch.

That won't deter her, though. A familiar face is a familiar face, especially in a place like this. Minako smiles, one that doesn't reach her eyes, but still genuine enough. ]

Oh, sorry. But— [ I saw you get shot twice, I know that dumb beanie anywhere— ] you look like a really good friend of mine. Probably the beanie, he has the same one.

phase 3

[straining]

[ Lapis has been watching, listening too. Because fighting isn't her duty and there's nothing more unwanted than a minotaur. (She's never met one but she's heard Stories.) When it seems like the other person is giving up, she rises from her hiding place and stands beside him: a seemingly harmless girl in a oversized maroon poncho, shorts and long boots. ]

...Hug it.

[ You can't defeat it otherwise goes implied. ]

With feeling.

[unevoke]

[Where the hell did she even come from—

—is a question that quickly vanishes from his mind as soon as she utters the suggestion. Hug it? Is she serious? Her demeanor certainly suggests it, and her proximity near a rather good hiding place suggests she's been observing for quite some time now.

Even so...]

It's gonna throw me if I do that.

[Don't be such a non-believer, Shinji.]

[straining]

[ ...It could, but the minotaur stated earlier it just wanted a hug. And there's no other to solve this that she can see; if he can't beat it, neither than she... There was something about labyrinths and sphinxes and riddles that she can't remember or see. ]

I'll catch you.

[ She sounds serious about it too. ]

phase iii!

[exertion]

[ Meanwhile, one (1) protagonist is simply standing by, watching the encounter the entire time with muted interest. When Shinjiro eventually settles: ]

You're probably good to go. Why not?

[ Hug it, he means, in reference to his internal conflict. Take one for the team, senpai! You have his support. ]

so much faith, minato

[unevoke]

[How can Minato be so calm about this? Right, he's calm and dispassionate about most things, at least on the outside. But after dealing with fiery Akihiko for so long, it's a welcome change of pace.

Coming from anyone else, the suggestion would simply be brushed aside. But this is their leader, and Shinjiro has a healthy amount of respect for him and what he does.]

You'll run across if I do, right?

[The only way he's gonna do this is if he does take one for the team and the rest of the team gets across safe.]

you need more faith, shinji

[exertion]

[ There were so many things wrong with the single sentence that Shinjiro says— in all honesty while the minotaur looked harmless enough; Minato had meant it as a joke (not that… he made that very apparent), not thinking he'd go through with the suggestion so easily. (Also in all honesty is that Minato wouldn't entirely mind trading places either.)

Regardless. He'll take it with the same severity as his upperclassman. ]

That's not how it works. [ … ] I'm backing you up.