ioculus | //TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE

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//TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE

MOONFESTCON 2014 PART I: Embracing Lunacy

It's that time of the season to praise the two moons of Cerealia. As they hang in the sky, looking harmless and moon-like, the robots and CERES staff have gathered together to prepare a fanciful celebration. It's primarily located in the Pleasure District where paper lanterns hang and where fireworks are starting to burst in the sky. Everyone is welcome to dress up and enjoy an evening of fantastic pleasures, platonic or otherwise.

"Good evening! As always, I'm pleased you all can join me. Do enjoy all the beverages being passed around along with the many services we have to offer, all there for your pleasure.

Take time to play in one of our many booths or just slip away and have a crazy evening. The moons bid it. Don't be shy."

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I

[ 1900 ] The festival begins promptly with a kick-off speech and a toast from Julius Vincere, encouraging everyone to celebrate beneath the two moons as they light the sky. The weather is crisp and beautiful, leaving them both in full view as their light cascades upon the festival. Around the district, there are several stands full of standard fair food (candy apples/corn dogs/ice cream/deep fried everything), games, and an assortment of many awkward prizes (if you're wondering what these are, do remember you're in the Pleasure District!). Also, there is alcohol everywhere, served to minors and adults alike.

PHASE II

[ 1945 ] The music is playing loudly beneath the noises of the festival. Anyone approaching the speakers will notice a strange buzzing noise that keeps wavering. Then, the sound changes abruptly to the sound of pained moaning hidden within the song. It grows more pronounced by the second until the lights in the Pleasure District flicker off for a brief second. When they return, there is someone crawling out of the speaker. Your eyes squint, and you can see them briefly, the faint outlines of their form as their screaming escalates, only everyone else seems to be deaf to it. Only you can hear it, and you wonder how and why no one else is reacting. Is it just you? Are you hallucinating? Better get used to that feeling in Cerealia.

PHASE III

[ 2000 ] Your friendly speaker friend up there doesn't seem to want to go away. (S)he keeps crawling out and disappearing throughout the evening, but it's easier to ignore as Julius takes to the stage. He has a special announcement for all. CERESdate (who sponsored this wonderful festival by the way) has agreed to set up all you vibrant, sexy Cerealia singles with some robot partners for the night. Want to escape? Too late. They're latching on and dragging you out to the dance floor to boogie down. Afterwards, they'll try and drag you to the nearby hotels for some extra loving. You are welcome to run at this point or comply happily.

PHASE IV

[ 2103 ] Have you escaped the overzealous sex robots? Good, good! Now, it's time for the real fun. The holograms turn from PG images of the stars and surrounding moons and planets to a few fun images of various robot couples caught in absolute bliss. You may spot a clown mask in there or two, reminiscent of those who were running around causing a bit of trouble earlier. The images continue to get distorted as the clowns look like they're stretching their necks out of the image and reaching out towards you. The moaning from before returns.

Doesn't it get you in the mood? If it does and you'd like to find a partner for the night, a few CERESdate robots will be on hand to help fix you up with a partner, organic or otherwise. They're being quite insistent again because they want your credits.

BONUS

[ whyo'clock ] Have you ever been stalked by a condom-dispensing machine? Well, there's a first time for everything! These friendly contraptions are set up all over the Pleasure District, waiting for you to pass by before trailing after you very slowly. At first you don't notice. Every time you turn around, it stands stationery. But the moment you start to move, it just carefully rolls behind you. Watching. Waiting.

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's fourth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[She is not sure at all, but she has come too far to admit when she's wrong now!!]

Of course I am! It's...it's clearly some kind of neck massager, that's all. I guess something like that could come in handy if you're feeling stressed.

[ geez, man. just remember that germany can hear you jerking it to your computer in the other room. porn isn't the same as human contact, prussia!

also, he totally could. just watch. ]

Oh, shut your god damn trap. I'm not getting carried off.

[ ugh whatever. WHATEVEERRR. TIME TO BREAK THE ROBOT. though he does sort of... let out a snort at prussia's inability to break the robot. ]

Ha ha, lame. What happened to your strength, dude? Weren't you stro-- Oh, right. My bad, you're not even a country anymore are you?

[ hope you enjoy his obnoxious giggling as he tears off the head of the robot with one hand. well, that's over with. ]

[THERE'S A FAMILIAR FACE. Oz, who likewise has a literal armful of sweets, comes trotting over to her while she's in the middle of... doing whatever it is she's doing?? He doesn't really want to interrupt in case it's something important, so he hangs back a little, watching curiously.]

Have you been to the stand on the corner yet? They have cute little fruit pies! [It's a jovial greeting, since apparently Oz is just going to skim over the fact that they all just accidentally waltzed into the end of the world?!]

[Was that in the powerpoint... He pauses here, taking a notebook out of a coat pocket to flip through it, brow furrowed. They didn't give him enough time to take notes...]

That— That's possible. But then we should be alerting Julius and his people of its presence, I should think- If it truly isn't supposed to be here.

[There is, of course, the possibility that it is supposed to be there, but that's... well, unpleasant.]

[get that checked out

They probably have to turn four of them at once in a very specific sequence, and then something will finally happen. As it stands, right now it's a useless piece of plastic, so Reim holds it back out for Oz to wave around. He doesn't want useless plastic...]

Really... If you're as quick at the other games as you are at the one from earlier, it will take no time at all.

[get ye plush]

[Have you met Germany, he's the one with all the dirty porn. Prussia is a saint okay. Pure and above all these petty--DID HE SERIOUSLY JUST GO THERE? Why the hell was he trying to help him again?.]

I was trying not to hurt you, you idiot, but next time I'll just punch it through you! Listen to you talking tough when you're the one that couldn't defend yourself in the first place.

[He gives a derisive snort, not letting that shit get to him because America is also opening that fat mouth and letting dumb fall out.]

I forgot what an ungrateful little shit you are.

Sh— Shut up!! I didn't do anything! That's why I want it to leave me the hell alone!

[ no this is the worst misunderstanding... he's a delicate flower too oz... ]

You are writing this? [She makes a weird face, not quite making fun of him or anything, but bewildered since the thought to jot down notes never occurred to her. What a weird guy.]

Do you think they would do something? [Her tone makes it sound like she really wants his opinion on it because honestly she thinks Julius is about as smart as a box of rocks. Granted, she thought that about most people so...] Humans do not see what they do not want to see; said before, yes?

Unless he sees, perhaps will not believe. [A thoughtful hum] But, can try. Could not hurt. Or could try to catch it and make him see.

[Just wrestle the weird creature, Reim. Just fucking do it.

[ dead-dove-do-not-open.gif

but before russia can exhale petulantly all over america's obnoxious face, he's already walking away. it wouldn't do to strangle him with all these witnesses, which is unfortunate, so it's back to business as usual. he falls back into step and sighs, almost wistfully. ]

Да, around the same time you started gaining weight. Do you really need another candy apple, America?

[He took notes on the powerpoint, does he look like a wrestling type. To her first question he blinks, surprised - of course he's writing it down, what a question - but he just nods.

As for the rest...]

You may have a point... Biases can color otherwise good judgment, but- well, this is more worrisome than the things people usually ignore. [like when ur bff is a serial killer

... also wait]

I'm sorry, did you say catch it?

{ The pleasure district was hardly a place Peggy Carter felt a need to frequent so it's with a little bit of a start and a raised eyebrow that she comes across Sam Wilson walking around the fringes of where one district ends and the buisiness district begins. Repressing a smile, she cleared her throat and then spoke clearly. ]

I'm afraid after a time you get used to it here. Although I hae to wonder what prompted such loyalty out of the machine. Are you perhaps a loyal customer?

[ not that she wishes to hear a list of personal conquests, but it does rather raise a few questions. ]

[She's about to comment on how Julius might think he's drunk too-- just to see him get riled up again-- but she's distracted by the question.]

Yes? That is next step in these things, yes? If he will not believe words, bring evidence. Shove his face into it so he cannot ignore!

[Oona looks at Reim for a moment, slowly looking him over. She adopts a resigned look.] Perhaps you can be bait.

phase i

[ Nadeko is not one for parties so she takes a seat where it's quiet, on a bench away from the commotion. Placing her yakisoba next to her, she starts checking out the items she won from the various game booths. She wasn't very good at any of those games, but by a stroke of luck, she won a peculiar plush toy at a simple lottery game. She isn't familiar with this character, though. Maybe it's a local cultural icon? Wondering if the toy has any special functions (she's surrounded by all this technology, after all), she examines it from every angle and pats it all over. ]

Mm, Nadeko doesn't really get it, but it feels like this robot has more experience than Doraemon...

[ She stares hard at the circle shape on the toy, curious if his gadgets come out of there. Nadeko no. ]

phase iii

[ The state of the sky is curious, but curiosity killed the cat—in an unconventional sense. While she's distracted by the two moon, a robot pulls on her arm and tries to get her to dance. Nadeko, obviously not one for dancing, much less socializing, attempts to get out of this situation like she always has: by apologizing profusely.

It doesn't work. ]

Aah! B-but Nadeko, Nadeko doesn't know how to dance! She'll trip all over your toes, you know? And she'll just look stupid, and—!

[ Those tears in her eyes are as genuine as her frustration. ]

That's, um... Nadeko didn't even want to go to the Moon Moon Festival... [ That's what it's called now.

As she struggles with the robot, it looks less like coercion and more like harassment. No, it's definitely harassment. Help. ]

phase i

[ congratulations, you've won!!!

russia's holding one of the... prizes... slightly nonplussed. he's not sure what he expected, and he supposes it makes sense, but he doesn't have any use for it, so...

ah! he's just going to stop the next person he sees. that'll work, right? yes. ]

Ah... [ there you are, whoever you are! ] —извините, can you take this?

[ here, have a futuristic sex toy deposited directly into your hands! ]

phase iii

[ nope.

have an eerily smiling man utterly demolishing a nearby speaker with a faucet pipe. maybe that will stop the noise! (it won't). ]

bonus

[ usually he's the one doing the stalking, so this is... interesting.

russia's perfectly content to stand here staring at the thing until it goes away, though! just right in the middle of everything, smiling. no, no, it's fine, he can wait.

someone please break up this bizarre staring contest. ]

[suddenly they're starring in their own National Treasure

Oz would like to get one of those things, but at this point he is also vaguely wary of just about everything in this festival. Just not plastic paperweights, apparently??]

The lines are pretty long... And I should probably find Gil before he has a heart attack. [He just has Gilbert Senses™ and knows that his dumdum servant is lurking around somewhere, fretting himself bald.] Alice, too! She was just here, but I guess we're not "here" anymore. [Upward stare toward the two moons... OH, JAMJARS.]

[ Why is no one else reacting to the scary monster thing. Is Nadeko supposed to be an underworld detective now? No, it must be that. Once you encounter an oddity, oddities will be drawn to you. This is usually the job of Meme or Koyomi though, so she doesn't want to be troubled by happenings such as this. Oh well, it's not like she ever had a sense of responsibility. But what if it's just her imagination and she's going crazy—

Oh, he reacted. She finds relief in how she isn't

the main character of a supernatural manga. ]

Um... D-do you know how to use your spirit gun?

[ With her head bowed slightly, she approaches Reim with caution like she would a stranger—or a monster. ]

Maybe it just follows the first person it sees? Or maybe it's just something about your face—?

[THAT ISN'T REASSURING AT ALL but he wants to believe in Ciel's delicate sensibilities, too...]

Quick! Try leaving again, let's see if it still follows you!

After your father's passing... I see. My condolences.

[ that usually was the way of things when someone so young ended up sitting in the head chair - whoever was older was gone. Zara isn't surprised. The boy does seem very mature and in-control for his age - he wonders if he isn't a fine earl already.

At the question, however, his demeanor goes from apologetic to frustrated. With a sigh, he shakes his head. If only his father hadn't passed. Then he could just say "ask your parents." ]

... I'd rather not explain this, but if you ask so directly... [ being zara is suffering. ] Suffice to say, they're, ah... tools used in certain private adult situations.

[ he nods once in response, making a serious expression. He'd certainly seen it. The blaring noise had distracted most of his attention, but it was hard to miss that unnerving, shadowy form creeping out of solid, occupied space. ]

I did. Perhaps that was the source of the noise... [ whatever it was. Troubling. For once, Zara had decided to travel without his cane for ease of carrying things, and now he's regretting it - if he needs to defend himself, he'll be in trouble.

Speaking of... ] -- Thank you, by the way, Sir Elza. As expected of Nesso's right hand man, you're quite handy in a pinch.

[ he unconsciously tilts his head (and ears) back a little bit at that comment... no touching the ears, please. Even though they are super soft. Potential ear-grabbing aside, Zara maintains his pleasant smile, faintly wondering what "mostly" was supposed to mean. ]

A pleasure to meet you, then, sir Oz. I'm Zara Skeens. If I'm 'mostly' your first Rabbits, it seems I'll have to do my best to represent my people well.

[ he's buying three locks for his door ]

Neither did I, [ he admits in a faintly amused voice, not taking the bait to tease him back, for once. The amount of appeal he may or may not have to the opposite sex is one area that Zara puts very little stock into. ] Apparently, my dancing sweeps the ladies right off their feet.

[ note to self: never dance with a stranger just because she begs you nicely. It's mildly embarrassing to be defended by his master, though - not to mention insulting to his servant's dignity, as kind as the gesture may be - so he's quick to grab Nesso's arm, trying to tug him back. Not out of the way, but to escape. ] Nesso, I think leaving might be the best option.

Internet--? Ah, no, I have no access to it regularly. [ looking completely unconcerned riiiiight until he pulls the head off ]

Hmm. Physical force is more effective than magic.

[ the way she speaks and the scars all over her are certainly attention-grabbing, but Zara is well-trained in social mores, and his gaze doesn't linger when he turns to her.

The fish, however. ]

Raw fish? That's... an unusual request, miss. [ and also sounds like it might make you sick. ]

[ at least he's not alone. Kind of. Actually, seeing a young girl being attacked in just the same manner does nothing to make him feel better, and only makes him more upset. That's entirely inappropriate!

Except she clearly doesn't have the reservations that he does, and he gasps in confusion when she suddenly leaps onto the robot and starts walloping it mercilessly. Now, he has no love for the thing, but seeing this kind of behavior is a little alarming. ]

-- Young lady! I know how you feel, but there's no need to go that far. [ p...robably. Actually, he's not sure how to make them stop, but violence seems excessive. AKA no, he's not helping. ]

[ ....oh. hey oz. at this point she can't really say she's surprised to see him here. The moonlight snaps back into place as normal as ever. ]

...do they? And here I thought I'd already extensively sampled their sweets.

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//TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE

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NO YOU'RE PERFECT AND I ADORE YOU

i!

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YOUR AMERICA IS AWESOME TOO SO THERE

so is ciel

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nadeko sengoku | monogatari series

russia | the one with the anime countries

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phase ii

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