Welcome to CERES' new dating experience -- ABOMIDate (Catchy, huh?). They've found that they're a little concerned with everyone's ability to... connect with denizens of different species, and in a place like Cerealia that is full of aliens, that's a Big Problem! After all, it's pretty clear by now that there are a lot of things about your friendly neighborhood aliens that you just know nothing about. What else do you not know? That the greeting of a Faswwg is face licking? That feathered species require mating dances to woo? That [REDACTED] needs [REDACTED] to [REDACTED]? So clearly, the way to fix this problem is...to practice dating other species!
Namely eldritch abominations! In CERES' experience, eldritch abominations really sum up the full interspecies dating way of life and provide you a variety of different species (and orifices) to enjoy.
So it's time to put on some proper music -- no, not that, that's not right. There, that's better. Anyway, time to put on some sexy background music, and woo the monster of your dreams!
 [ horrifying noises of nightmares and despair ]
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PHASE I [ 8 00 ] Welcome to the new and improved Abominable Dating, CERES’ brand new virtual dating experience! The first thing you will see will be a character select screen, because CERES wants you to get to the dating part right away. Don’t worry, there are a lot of beautiful and handsome candidates to choose from so feel free to jump right in! There’s this fellow, or this dashing lass and even a hidden character who is... not really all that hidden if they’re right there to be picked, but there you go!
You have to pick one. There’s no other option, I’m afraid.
And once you do, you’ll end up in a room with your date, dressed up in beautiful, date-like clothing. Unfortunately, everyone else who picked that date will also be in the room with you, also dressed up and prepared for dating.
This is awkward.
It gets even more awkward when your date decides that you look like a great main course. Watch out for those claws/teeth/limbs/etc! Maybe you can work together to take down your starving date, sad as that sounds.
PHASE II [ 1000 ] No dating game would be complete without stat boosting sessions. Regardless of how you feel about your current date, you’re locked into the game now (and hopefully not while covered in the blood of your date themselves, though they just come back even if you managed to kill them), and the game is picking a stat it thinks you need to work on. Either your intelligence is deplorable, your charisma is totally lacking, or your strength is at noodly-arm levels. That’s pretty bad. (It doesn’t matter what your actual intelligence, charisma or strength are, the game might be making things up at this point.)
Because of this, you’re going to be automatically tossed into a mini-game to increase those stats! This will be fun, absolutely. Nothing but Fun here in ViViD. So regardless of what the game thinks you’re lacking, it’s going to throw you into the same mini-game -- eldritch abomination make-over sessions.
You'll show up at a row of dressing rooms, each marked with a sign above the door reading NO INTELLIGENCE or NO STRENGTH or NO CHARISMA in bright red letters. Choosing the right one (embrace your shame) will reveal your initial date to you. They bat their eyelashes in greeting and growl out a very sultry, Will you help me, senpai?
Time to get to work!
You won’t be able to leave the mini-game until the monster is completely satisfied with its makeover, so it’s time to really tap in to your inner fashion sense. Of course, the fact that you’re all trying to apply makeup to the same monster might make this hard, but you can surely all get along, right?
Right?
PHASE III [ 1800 ] At first, you were on a date. Finally, you, your monster, candelight. Everything was going right until... well, you made a bad dialogue choice. They asked you what your favorite food was, you accidentally picked "Italian" (or maybe picked it on purpose which makes this even worse!) and then things went dark.
When you wake up, you'll find yourself in a cage. The room is dark and dank and there's no light other from the crack of a door somewhere up a flight of stairs. You're in a cage in a basement and there's a key glinting on the table right across the room there. Is it for your cage?
Welcome to the Yandere Route.
You might not actually be alone though. The cage isn't terribly big but there's enough room for someone else and if you shift around a little, you'll bump into them. Maybe you should share some woes of the eldritch horror dating experience. Maybe you should try and find a way out! Who knows? But there's one thing for sure:
You're both extremely naked.
Good luck!
PHASE IV [ 1830 ] You did it. You’ve gotten to the end of the game, or nearly. You’ve earned up enough affection points somehow. Maybe it was through the eldritch abomination following you around to trying to eat you or maybe it really, really, really liked your makeover. Maybe there was that thing and the cage and some weird pictures it took -- who knows! But now it’s time for the inevitable scene.
The confession scene.
Except... well, ViViD can’t do confession scenes very well. You'll find yourself there in the schoolyard, dressed in the appropriate school uniforms but...
For one thing, there’s a heavy shower of rose petals. A heavy shower. They’re everywhere. They might get in your mouth and face, they’re pooling around your knees, it's a rose petal flood and you're about to drown!
For another, the eldritch abomination you chose to romance is getting closer and... closer. And closer. And that sure is a lot of teeth, huh? Is it coming in for a kiss or to eat off your face? It’s... really hard to tell with all the rose petals, isn’t it?
To make matters even worse, you can’t move -- you’re locked into the scene until it comes to its proper conclusion. The game is stuck and you're here, suffering through it all. Well, you're suffering unless someone comes and rescues you, but who in the world would interrupt a touching scene like this to do that?!
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You know you have to get dressed up nicely for your date. It's an important one! Third date means third base, after all. So, you’re shoved into a closet, and surrounded by tons and tons of choices to pick from. You're spoiled for choice!
But, well... no matter what you put on, or even if you just elect to stay in your regular clothing, it changes as soon as you step out of the closet to meet your date.
Don’t worry, you look adorable.
It can’t be taken off, of course. So you’d better get comfy, because you’re going to be a pink dinosaur for your third date and... your fourth date. And your fifth. Hell, you might still be a pink dinosaur when it comes time to confess! How... cute.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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He had to body flicker some paces back to ensure his head wouldn't be swallowed by the pile of petals.] Lee! Destroying it won't do anything; it'll just regenerate later.
[The monster was stunned but not knocked out. This wasn't the love it wanted.
Neji moves to follow with a strike- a basic Juken hit-- oops, no. Can't. Rose petals swallowing him whole. Another body flicker away. Shit.
Bash its head in, Lee.]
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He hears Neji speak to him. His voice sounds so fresh compared to the recordings that have already started to fade in his mind. Lee whips around to face him energetically, and he can't help but bleed emotion into Neji's name as he says it.]
Neji! I... I understand! But I will do my best to keep it at bay! Run, Neji!
[It does seem to be stunned... so Rock Lee dashes back at it, trying to unleash some more blows upon the creature.]
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Neji decided he refused to think of how rich the emotion was, in words, in the air, in him.
So that left him with the next best option- feeling a passing gust of unintentional insult. Run? Him?
He'll take the challenge.] No, aim high!
[And looky look, Neji even flickers back some more. His chakra was already being expended with these little fits, why not carry that momentum forward-- so Neji hopes against hope that Lee hadn't chosen now to be unrelentlessly bullheaded and had taken his orders because he's appearing squarely at the monster's side, focusing a chakra-infused hit on its gut.
Can the combined attacks do it in?]
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So he nodded curtly at Neji's request.]
...I will not let you down!
[He then springs up into the air like a jack in a box with a poor haircut, and as he descends he slams his foot down upon the creature's crown.
With the combined attacks of these two righteous youths, nothing can be left standing, and so the creature collapses for now.]
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Guilt stirred in him and burned. It's urgency bled into Neji's own challenge.] Is this really you, Lee?
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Yes. It is me! Rock Lee... Konoha's Beautiful Green Wild Beast!
[He takes some tentative steps closer.]
Neji, could this really be you?! Have my prayers finally been answered?
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There was no way any other living person would ever introduce themselves with that title. Neji's standing his ground, straight-backed as ever. His arms cross over his chest in a quick, childish gesture of displeasure at the questions.
How could he possibly know the answer...? He'd caught sight of himself somewhere along the line, knew he was now unmarked, knew his body was somehow whole again.
And now here he was, having spent hours being hunted by a monster who supposedly was his date, sun beginning to set in a strange schoolyard casting an orange glow on them, the faint smell of roses mixing with the smell of the abomination, both of their uniforms stupidly pristine, both boys' eyes wide with a mixture of emotions Neji wouldn't dare guess at.
Gai-sensei himself couldn't have set up a better skit.
It was utterly ridiculous. The corners of Neji's mouth turn up in a gentle, small smile. It was impossible to fight back and Neji was determined not to try, not even as the smile turned vexed but full, considering. So.] As far as I know, this is definitely me.
[And-] It's good to see you again. Lee. [Someone stop them, this was already embarrassing.]
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He smiled warmly in turn as tears streamed gently down his cheeks. It was indeed a scene worthy of a Gai-Sensei skit, with the rose petals dancing around them.]
Neji...! [Lee breathes his name again.] It... is so good to see you again as well! Please tell me, are you well?!
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Stop it with the names already, they've already established who's who.
Watching Lee cry was a staple in Neji's life by now- if it didn't happen forty-two times a day then something was wrong. But his stomach twisted at the sight now, and despite the warmth of his friend Neji looked down and to the right instead. It makes the hair blow in his face because of how he's now turned, and he has to step forward to get some real distance between himself and the fallen opponent and. Well, Lee. His smile fades slowly as he considers his reply.] Ah- I suppose I'm well. [Confused and pissed off weren't counted here, obviously. And watch him diligently not ask the same of Rock Lee. What a good teammate.]
How did... you find yourself here, in this game?
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I am very glad that you are well, Neji! [A typically abrupt Lee outburst.]
As for... how I found myself in this game? Ah... I cannot recall!! Sometimes, we are simply pulled into them, it seems! [He responds as if this is a normal thing.]
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[A not so typically abrupt Neji outburst. He's sorry Lee, he knows you'll forgive him. 'Sometimes'.] Lee-- [focus, he meant to say but then he's derailed by the fact that oh no, he said his name again and nope. No, no, this was going from ridiculous to downright absurd to an entirely new level of stupid Neji wasn't in the mood for entertaining.] I meant, what were you doing before you came here? Your friend said that these weren't our real bodies and that it was only our minds being subjected to this. That the bodies were safe elsewhere. What I want to know is, were you safe back in our world [--that was, supposedly, destroyed--] or in another?
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I was not in our world. [He shakes his head, with a bit of hesitation.] It... it has been over half a year since I was there. The true world we are in right now, outside of this virtual reality, is a very different one. The world is called Tellus... and we are in a colony called Cerealia! It is advanced beyond anything I have ever imagined...!
1/2 w2g lee
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So maybe the genjustsu was
Or maybe it wasn't and
Neji knew he wouldn't understand. He couldn't fool himself into thinking that if he just pressed on, things would begin to make sense. And awareness of the fact brought his old composure back to the surface.
He'd make do the best he could.] I need to ask for a favor. [And he moves some steps to the side again because, well, rose petals fluttering in the sunset.]
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And no, that wasn't sarcastic.]
Then listen up. I don't want or need to know about what's happened since my death. [Short, sweet, to the point.] It's not my place to know and it's not as if anything can be done about it now. But I do need you to answer one question for me, and I only need one word from you as a reply. It won't be my concern [what a l i a r] after you give me your answer.
[Yes or no question. Simple, yeah?] All of our friends from back home- are they okay?
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He takes a moment to look him in the eyes before he speaks. They did all manage to make it through alive... but should he tell him about what happened to Gai-Sensei? No... even with his new handicap, Gai-Sensei seems as lively as ever. So, in answer to his question-]
They are all well, Neji. And safe. [He speaks in a rougher and more sensitive tone than usual. And even though Neji asked to not know about what's happened back home, he does hope that the mention of safety manages to communicate that the war is now behind them. The war that took him away from them.]
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To hell with his rules, what he got was so much better. Reading the hidden meanings of things was only second nature- imagine the wave of comfort when Neji didn't even have to read so far into it. Or don't imagine it. Again, he's dropping his defense and decorum. If there was a bench or something else to catch him and if he knew there'd be no other eyes on them, if he knew the monster wouldn't decide to spring back to life, Neji would have dropped to the ground with all the dramatics fitting their own little Confession Scene. As that's not the case, and Neji is still himself, he only lets his shoulders fall carelessly relaxed and he allows himself a moment to close his eyes.] I'm glad.
[No, Lee, there was more gained from that war than was lost. He's sorry he's hurt his friend. But now wasn't the time to broach that subject. He felt the short pang of guilt again, and his eyes open. Neij's demeanor is sharp, but neither on edge or dangerous.] Now tell me you haven't been forced into dating these awful creatures ever since you've arrived to Tellus. Or have you?
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Neji's death left a wound in Lee's heart that can never be resealed. Even his presence here does not quite fill it, because he cannot shake the idea that this is just a fleeting dream. He may feel a little nervous, facing Neji again, with his usual gusto waning from time to time, but he's still able to look him in the eyes as he speaks.]
N-no, I have not! This sort of dating thing... It is only connected to this game! I have never been in this particular one before today.
In the true world outside of this, I have faced many trials. But I have also made so many valuable friends! I want you to meet every last one of them, Neji!
[He wants him to feel alive.]
STFU GORE
And speaking of forgiving, he'd had to apologize to that weird girl.
And speaking of forgiving Lee's friends, the thought of having to meet more of them was leaving Neji teetering between his brand of affection for the guy and that slowly seeping dread of... having to meet Lee's friends.] I should have known you wouldn't be facing those trials alone. [Loud. Blindingly optimistic. Idiotic. What's not to love. But how about instead of focusing on making friends, they find a way to return to the world they belong in? For the sake of the Future
which is currently getting its dumb ass kicked on page 2? Y/N?] Tell me about them. [The friends. Who should he prepare to avoid?]no subject
Ah... Who should I start with first?! Ah, there is Jaune-kun! He is a brilliant young man with golden hair! He has spread wonderful messages throughout the community in the past, and he joined me in learning a truly beautiful song! Ah, together we joyfully sang that bittersweet song of blank spaces, prepared by an artist known as Taylor Swift!
Then... [There's a slight reddening in his cheeks.] I cannot delay tell you about Yuri! [Where did that honorific go.] She is such a kind young lady and she can be quiet, but she truly does have a strong spirit! She has been through a lot, but- but she still does her best to help others, and her smile is so precious! And then...
[The rambling continues on and on. He'll cover a good chunk of the game until he's stopped.]
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He's not looking for an escape, honest. Where was Tenten when you needed her, though, to sock the guy in the jaw and tell him to shut up. But Lee looked so...
oh look, the date's been inching forward, quiet as a... cat...? kind of slinking forward, dragging its belly. Stalking them? It's coming up behind Lee which -thank you CERES- gives Neji enough of an excuse to abruptly grab a fistful of Lee's shirt and yank him to one side. Or to the ground. Whatever's convenient and doesn't get in the way, tomato to-ma-toh.] Hakke Kūshō! [He sends another attack towards the spider and this time it actually hits one of the school's(??) walls, twitching as it falls. Screeching. Sobbing. Same thing.]
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Lee was in the middle of telling the tale of Katsura Kotarou and the time that they engaged each other in hot-blooded combat while disguised as Santas, when suddenly Neji springs into action! Lee had let his guard down, softened by the warm memories of dear friends past and present, so he was oblivious to the monster's approach.
And now he was tasting digital dirt for the moment as Neji yanked him to the ground.]
AWK!
[But with that undignified squawk done with, Lee leaps up to his feet alertly.]
Did - did you defeat it, Neji?!
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I think so. [No guarantee so to make sure they won't have to worry about it again, Neji gestures lightly to Lee.] If you've been in these games before, then how do we get out of them and into that real world you were talking about? [Because apparently Yuri's suggestion that they'll move on on their own hadn't worked out so well the past three times.]
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Ah... Well, to get out of these games, you have to 'log out'! [He frowns.] But, it does not always work right for those new to this world.
[Still, he demonstrates and swishes a hand against the air to make a menu materialize.]
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