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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2015-03-07 10:20 am
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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000


Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))
"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I
[ 00:00 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II
[ 00:00 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III
[ 00:00 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV
[ 00:00 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V
[ why:o'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE
Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!


aureinsof: ([r] that's not true)

[personal profile] aureinsof 2015-03-10 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
[This is not the Lloyd Irving that clashed swords with him repeatedly. It's pissing him off even more. Could he seriously be that dense? ...Probably. But that doesn't make him any less mad about it.]

Are you messing with me?! Do you think this is funny?!
idealistic: (【MANGA】HUMAN WALL;)

[personal profile] idealistic 2015-03-10 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
[ okay what. he knows he's got some hostiles after him but JEEZ. what in the world did he do to piss off this kid? he takes a step back, kind of regretting leaving his swords home. ]

What are you talking about? Of course I'm not messing with you-- I've never even been to a place like this!
aureinsof: ([r] more beautiful than the goddess)

[personal profile] aureinsof 2015-03-10 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
That's it! You're mine!

[He reaches for his sword and-- shit, right. Okay. Fine. He'll improvise after all.]

Urghh, you just wait!

[He rushes back into the theater he ran out of and runs out a moment later with a thick wooden paddle. Robotic shouts of 'FILTHY SLUT YOU DON'T DECIDE WHEN YOUR PUNISHMENT OCCURS. I DO.' follow him. Whatever it's time.

He points the paddle at Lloyd.]


Prepare yourself, Lloyd Irving!
idealistic: (【ANIME】GASP;)

[personal profile] idealistic 2015-03-10 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
[ there is so much confusion as he watches the kid try to grab at something from behind him -- something that's not there, apparently -- and disappear back into the theater that he came out of. for the briefest moment, he wonders if he should just walk away and forget that this ever happened.

that thought was too late as the kid comes back out with a... oh god. yeah he is DEFINITELY taking a defensive stance. ]


The hell?! What did I even do?!
aureinsof: ([r] he fills me with desire)

[personal profile] aureinsof 2015-03-10 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
[The robot jabbers on about a list of potential things Lloyd could have done that are very naughty but it's being ignored.]

The cores, weaking! Or does it come so easy to you that you just forget about it?!

[That's it. He rushes forward, swinging the paddle. It doesn't cut through the air like a sword; it's heavier and slower and it bothers him already but beggars can't be choosers.]
idealistic: (【ANIME】standoff;)

[personal profile] idealistic 2015-03-10 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
[ the robot is promptly ignored in favor of dodging that attack, though Lloyd would have ignored the robots regardless.

but man that was a close one-- that could have hurt if he didn't jump back in time. the thought of grabbing some paddles himself -- or hell, just something in general -- so that he could defend himself is looking very promising. ]


I don't even know what you're talking about! What cores?!

[ cue rightful confusion. Lloyd doesn't even know what sort of cores he's talking about. did this kid get the wrong Lloyd Irving or something? ]
aureinsof: ([r] the devil is my slave)

[personal profile] aureinsof 2015-03-10 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
[It's just pissing him off more instead of calming him down. Why is Lloyd acting like he doesn't know? Does he think they shouldn't fight in front of others? That hasn't stopped him before. So what could the reason be?

If he honestly doesn't know...]


What, did you get amnesia?! Then I'll beat it back into your head!

[For now, Lloyd has an advantage. Swinging the paddle takes longer than his sword and he isn't adjusted yet. But soon he will be. Even as he misses he's already recovering to aim for Lloyd's head.

Onlookers seem to assume something completely different is happening and leave them be. Boys and their toys.]
idealistic: (【COLETTE】what do we do...?;)

[personal profile] idealistic 2015-03-10 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[ bUT HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE PART OF THIS SCANDAL??? being unarmed, all Lloyd can do right now is dodge as well as he can-- swiftly leaning back before scurrying back and away from the attack. and he's putting in extra effort to make sure he doesn't get smacked: that paddle looks like it'll hurt and this kid is swinging hard.

and now this kid's spewing something about having amnesia?! dammit, he's distressed and confused enough as is! ]


Wh-- I don't even have amnesia! [ hell, he doesn't even know how to spell "amnesia"! ]
aureinsof: ([r] what's inside of you)

[personal profile] aureinsof 2015-03-11 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
[If he wasn't trying to kill him with a paddle, he'd be pulling out his hair. Why is Lloyd so stupid? How is this is rival? He needs to downgrade him if this is his version of cunning.]

Quit talking nonsense and start remembering what you've done!

[He slides down, aiming for Lloyd's legs.]