//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
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Murasaki | Hamatora
[Watching movies isn't actually how Murasaki would choose to spend his free time normally. However, the chance to just sit and not be bothered for a couple of hours doesn't come up too often, so for now he can be okay in the theater.
He's not even really following the plot of the movie; having experienced and sometimes being a part of causing as much damage as they're showing on screen, there isn't very much going on to impress him.
Except, the scene on the screen looks a lot like the commercial set for that awful commercial he'd been forced to be in. Yep... yep, there's his partner Nice soaking up attention from any crew member that will pay attention to him.
And there's Murasaki, quietly, quietly seething, which just involves a lot of long-suffering sighs and resisting the urge to bury his face in his hands.
It's... well, it's certainly not fine, but it's acceptable when, in between scenes of lots of buildings blowing up, the screen decides to play the whole embarrassing commercial. He still cringes at his own very brief part. Making him pretend to be a part of a crime-fighting team. Ridiculous.
It's when the movie starts showing him being held back, yelling, while a blond idiot parades around a cafe with his stolen boot on his head that he has a problem.
Sorry, anyone behind him, but there's no way he's not standing up and leaning on the chair in front of him while staring at the screen.]
That is impossible.
Lobby:
[Unbelievable. You would think most of the people here had never had to sit through a terrible film before. Judging from the amount of people crowding the lobby though, that does seem to be the case.
He's not even sure why he's here. It had sounded like a bad idea, and he hadn't really wanted to come, and surprise, aside from terrible-sounding movies playing, it was just a mess. Running a hand through his hair, he looks around and sighs. It's not like he even has any candy or popcorn of his own, because that costs money and there is no way he is wasting money on junk food.]
This is a colossal waste of time.
[So, he'll be turning to go, and hopefully nobody was standing to close by as he is pretty determined to leave.]
lobby
She was seated on a bench somewhere in the lobby, surrounded by all kinds of snacks. Licorice sticks, popcorn, chocolate bars, sunflowers seeds. . . she pretty much bought at least one kind of snack that was available.
When she sees Murasaki turning to leave, she decides to get up, carrying some of her snacks with her, while leaving some on the bench. Some pieces of candy fall for the floor, but whatever! She approaches the normal-looking glasses dude, anyway. ]
Hey, are you leaving? I bought too much candy, so I figured you can have some if you like!
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It was mostly junk food, and even he couldn't make a proper meal with it, but at least he could snack on some himself and maybe, maybe give some to Nice. Still, he actually had morals and couldn't just take things like that.]
Are you sure? You wouldn't rather hang on to them until later?
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In fact, she shoves a bag of licorice sticks and some gummi bears at him. ]
I bought waaay too much! I'm kinda broke now, but that's okay!
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Why does everyone around him seem content to be broke.]
Is it? Is it really okay?
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Of course! It's already yours, mister. I hope you're not allergic to chocolate.
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But he'll be pocketing the candy in his coat thank you tiny lawyer.]
Murasaki. And... thank you. I know a kid who will really appreciate this candy.
[What a polite way to refer to Nice.]
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You're not normal, are you? Do you know Nice?
[ She needs tact sometimes... ]
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I-- not normal how? [Really, if she had been talking to Nice that could mean any number of things, not just that he has a Minimum.
He'll just be pinching the bridge of his nose now.]
I know him; Nice is my partner.
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[ She starts jumping around and circling Murasaki while she's at it. And after a round, she stops and gives Murasaki a salute. ]
I'm Athena, his assistant! But since you're here, I think I'm fired now.
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iv
I know, right? You ever have someone throw bees at you? Let me tell you, when they swarm, they swarm. I could barely taste the honey because one of them stung my tongue.
But why do you look so upset? It's not like it's you up there on the big screen.
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Even though the movie screen is now playing, in slow motion, every time Birthday tasered him in the hospital.]
Bees. Where are you getting bees from? That's-- [Wait.]
What do you mean it's not me up there? What are you seeing?
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[ Nothing personal, man, but he'd much rather see your personal failings. Gaius doesn't look even remotely phased by the fact that Cordelia is pointing out the turkey drumstick in his pocket. What if he got hungry later? That's a perfectly good reason for pocket meat. ]
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Oh, good, now it's slow-motion showing every time he was a victim of the damn hospital bed, complete with catchy music. He's not sighing he's just exhaling forcefully because he's one hundred percent done.]
Yes, well, I am seeing myself, and they are experiences that really don't need to be repeated. I wonder if it's the same for everyone, this only seeing their own personal embarrassments.
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[ Gaius is the opposite of tech savvy, so everything that's been happening here he's mostly just let happen without trying to understand it. He doesn't know what data is or why he became that or whatever other terminology the greeting meeting threw at him, but going with the flow is the cool thing to do.
Plus, he's not sure if he'd get a straight answer anyway. ]
Now would be a peachy time to leave, if you don't want to see your entire life's embarrassments on screen.
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Especially now that he knows that nobody else is catching any glimpses of every embarrassing moment of his life (why are these all after he met Nice?), he's going to pretend that the movie screen Does Not Exist.]
I'm not watching any more of that nonsense. You've never seen a movie before, though? [He hadn't met anyone yet that was from a world so different they didn't at least have an approximation of television or anything like that.]
They're not usually like this. The mindless explosions and vapid dialogue are in a lot of them, but all the personal details aren't normally a part of the experience.
lobby
He'll be crunching on some popcorn obnoxiously nearby, and he turns around pretty quickly to the sound of Murasaki's voice. His eyes get wide for half a second before he makes his way over, because he's gotta be completely!!! Chill!!! about this!!]
Of course it was a colossal waste of time. You're at a theater.
[You better not leave him partner...]
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... Though less surprising is the fact that Nice is stuffing his face with popcorn he probably can't actually afford. Why this, Nice.]
You look like you're enjoying yourself, though.
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babysittingwatching out for you again.]no subject
But regardless of whether he can afford it or not, he's going to stuff his face with more popcorn before wanting to speak again because he's also a pig on top of all this:]
Well, yeah. It's probably the most fun I've had since getting here.
[Maybe he's exaggerating.
...
But he'll hold out the bag, if Murasaki wants some too. Awww how sweet]
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Really though, that actually sounds like cause for concern. Murasaki hasn't been here very long at all, and even Nice usually can't get bored that quickly.]
Just how long have you been here, exactly?
[Woah, it's almost like Nice is happy to see him or something.
But he'll pass on the popcorn with a slight shake of his head. You just keep enjoying your popcorn, there. Right now there are more important things than salty snacks.]
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A month and twenty-seven days.
[Is he being a smartass or does he really keep track of how long he's been here (either way he does keep track)? He does try his best to keep his expression neutral though...
He moves the popcorn away from Murasaki now, if only so that he can stuff his face again.]
You took too long getting here, by the way.
[Because he always knew Murasaki was going to show up (Murasaki's always around, ok), it was just a matter of when. And...Nice isn't always the patient sort anyway.]
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He's not surprised at all that Nice has been keeping track of how long he's been here. Of course he has been, but that answer still surprises him. That long, and he had no idea at all.]
Well, excuse me for taking so long. I couldn't exactly plan ahead for this sort of thing, after all.
[Though he absolutely would've been here sooner, if possible. Leaving Nice on his own is a bad idea for a lot of reasons, but they're partners, and should be working together, dammit.]
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[At least he didn't say this around a huge mouthful of popcorn this time or anything.
But he sighs, reaching into the bag and realizing he's getting kind of close to the bottom. That. That really kind of sucked...]
But I guess it doesn't matter anyway. You didn't miss much [Except for Nice almost catching his apartment on fire] -- did I miss anything?
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Really, as if you're always on time.
[And how did he manage to eat almost an entire bag of movie theater popcorn? No human in history has ever reached the bottom of the bag. Still being hungry after all that...]
I'm sure there are still plenty of things I'll have to catch up on. [Especially like seeing further proof that Nice + kitchen = bad idea.] It would've been difficult for you to miss anything; before I would up here, it had just been a couple of hours since I saw you last.
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[His time, that is. And he's a growing teenager boy ok he wants more...but then again he probably skipped breakfast too.]
...Oh yeah? That's weird. No end of the world explosion because I left or anything?
[That. Came out wrong but if Nice notices it doesn't look like he cares too much, but that shouldn't be surprising either.]
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