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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2015-03-07 10:20 am
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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000


Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))
"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I
[ 00:00 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II
[ 00:00 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III
[ 00:00 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV
[ 00:00 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V
[ why:o'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE
Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!


makesthetea: ([015] He's driving me right out the door)

bonus

[personal profile] makesthetea 2015-03-07 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO QUIT HARASSING PEOPLE!

[Yeah it's pretty much just some other girl, yelling at this robot like it's going to help.]

NOW CUT THAT OUT!

theatre v

[personal profile] arcanaofdeath 2015-03-07 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Curious.

[And there is a child leaning against the back of a seat two rows behind Kaneki, chin propped up on his hands as he keeps his eyes fixed on the tendril, unbothered by the bits and chunks of robot head now splayed out on the floor. That's probably going to get you into more trouble with the other robots, Kaneki, littering like that.

Pharos' eyes follow the line of Kaneki's kagune, taking in the white hair before settling on the single, black and red eye.

Not human.

Or very different from a regular human, at the very least.

Pharos cocks his head to the side and smiles.]


What's what?
deontology: (I.)

ticket booths;

[personal profile] deontology 2015-03-07 08:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[You look traditional, my good sir--if...very pink.... but sousei knows that traditional people have to be warned about the Modern Perils of this place.

So he steps closer, crossing his arms and looking at the options, before sighing vaguely.]


It will be a waste of both time and money.

[Sousei, on the other hand, is dressed in modern western wear nowadays--but he's got his very old, very Japanese sword at his side, at least.]
deontology: (LXXV.)

isn't it beautiful... it's tenka's fault tbh

[personal profile] deontology 2015-03-07 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[You're so obedient and quiet and not ridiculous, he likes you already.

It's hard to say whether he gets the joke at all, honestly, considering his response is as serious as ever.]


It may be wise.

You have not been here long, however; your lack of knowledge about this place is not your fault. [and yet--] Now you can be more wary in the future.
prehensible: (don't struggle too much now)

[personal profile] prehensible 2015-03-07 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[ souza doesn't startle, but he does turn to offer a slightly puzzled blink of mismatched eyes. there's a brief pause as he takes in the clothing and the blade--not another tsukumogami, at least, he's fairly certain--before he dips his head in a polite bow. ]

From my understanding, movies are moving pictures meant to be enjoyable..?

[ not that his understanding is thorough by any means. in some ways, he probably would've been better off learning all of this from scratch instead of getting bits and pieces over the years as the world changed around him. ]
talkshitgetkicked: (pic#8894519)

Kohaku Hearts | Tales of Hearts

[personal profile] talkshitgetkicked 2015-03-07 08:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Theater II

Kor....

[How embarrassing. Her and Kor are totally kissing on the big screen.

Oh my god, they were on the big screen! Instantly turning red here, dropping her jar of miso in the process of jumping to her feet.]


Kor! How do you-?! Everyone stop watching! You have to stop!

[Yep, she was too busy standing in front of the screen, facing the audience, and frantically waving her arms to get people to not look to actually see the bad stuff happening on screen. She was giving up precious miso time for this!]
deontology: (C.)

[personal profile] deontology 2015-03-07 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
That is correct.

[Probably. Beats him, he doesn't watch a lot of movies, despite having been here for awhile. More importantly--]

However, this place has a way of distorting what they offer to be something else entirely.

[Take it from him, it's gonna suck.]

I would not trust them.
spes_phthisica: by nique (It's time to board another)

threatre i

[personal profile] spes_phthisica 2015-03-07 08:57 pm (UTC)(link)
[And here is someone else rushing out of the theater, mouth covered to cover any undignified sounds which might escape. At first he had just been honestly shocked into immobility, and then morbidly fascinated by such a shameless display, and at last horrified as things turned invasively private.

Some things were just never meant to be put on display, nevermind the intense embarrassment at actually witnessing his own face like that. And there were other faces there too, faces he certainly did not even want to think about in that context, let alone see.

Once he's outside he takes several slow breaths, and then notices that someone else appears to have fled the scene as well. Slumping against the wall next to him, apparently heedless of his strange appearance, he sighs.]


I can't imagine what they were thinking, showing something like that.
reuser: (7)

Because Sousei is so attracted to Tenka. I get it.

[personal profile] reuser 2015-03-07 08:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Right.

[ Guess who is going to keep alternating between apologies and expressions of gratitude for the rest of their CR? Pyrrha, that's who. ]

Thank you, Mister... [ name goes here ]
tsuburaya_kun: (aaaAAAA!!)

Mitsuhiko Tsuburaya | Detective Conan

[personal profile] tsuburaya_kun 2015-03-07 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
THEATRE III

[It looks like this will be a fun movie, he's sure. Like the action one that he and his friends had planned on watching before...

...Well, before this. But he's already been told all about what's happened, about how it's going to be fixed, and if watching a movie and enjoying it is going to help then he's going to enjoy it as much as he can. YES.

So he has a bag of popcorn from the concession stand, a ticket stub marked 'III', and a nice comfy seat in the middle of the room.

...And then...

And then the movie actually begins.

Initially he's not sure what he's watching. Truth be told it was easy to make himself 'forget', if only for a moment, but now that it's in his face he can see it all clearly again. It's as if the movie isn't only making him remember, but even broadcasting it right before him, but that can't be right, can it? It can't be--

'TSUBURAYA-KUN!' 'MITSUHIKO-KUN!'
]

That's...

[He'd...he'd picked this one because the poster looked neat, and because the title seemed a little familiar, but he didn't think it would be like this. 'Invade the planet' always seemed so fine to watch when it was cartoons or movies at home, so why did...

His eyes are watering. But instead of getting up to leave, he folds up his popcorn bag's top, curling in his seat and doing his best to look away from the screen. Block out the cries and shouts that are looping, and let everyone else en...

Enjoy the...

...Why was it all on him, instead of someone stronger..?
]

THEATRE IV [Outside]

[How interesting. Mitsuhiko seems to be standing in front of this theatre, and while the movie was certainly a curious success when it came to taking his mind off of the theatre next door (he'd honestly just moved into this one as soon as there was a way out of the first, that didn't involve rudely interrupting anyone)...

The boy clutches his popcorn bag, absolutely red faced. If anyone begins to approach to enter the theatre, they'll find themselves with him very adamantly attempting to convince them otherwise.
]

Ahh--Excuse me! Y... You can't go in there! It's not a good movie to watch at all, really!

...Please, take my advice! [It is very hard to be demanding and polite all at once hmmm hmmm.]
heartboop: (Nora: AND NORA!!)

Nora Valkyrie | RWBY

[personal profile] heartboop 2015-03-07 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Theater IV

[Here anyone can find a girl who is happily munching on buttery popcorn, totally yelling at the screen from time to time and cheering at all the explosive scenes. Yeah, ACTION! Sometimes popcorn is tossed into the air during her rather lively audience participation. Watch your eyes! She doesn't know what this place is, but it's got three gold stars from her!

Then she sees a scene where there's jam all over some girl's face. It looks like her face, but...that's impossible! Whether Nora notices or not, she's giggling at the scene, because...she can relate to that 1000%! ]


Theater V

[WHO IS WRESTLING THESE GROSS BDSM BOTS?!

Oh, that would be Nora!

All that popcorn she got everywhere? Well, now they want to "punish" her. Yeah, no, that's not happening! One robot is already on the ground in tatters, and she has one in a headlock!]

I'll give YOU a spanking! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!
Edited 2015-03-07 21:01 (UTC)
prehensible: (in the quiet lasting grave)

[personal profile] prehensible 2015-03-07 09:02 pm (UTC)(link)
No?

[ his brows draw together as he glances back to the booth, fingers curling loosely over the pommel of his blade as he considers the comment. this stranger is certainly more familiar to him than the situation he's found himself in, at least. but the thought that they can't trust these people claiming to be fighting to fix things is.. distressing.

he shifts, giving sousei his full attention once more. ]


Perhaps I'll avoid them, then. .. Does this organization not intend to assist us..?
dimidiampura: (▷ Cold eyes of disregard)

[personal profile] dimidiampura 2015-03-07 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Most people from home would have run in fear of seeing what was the equivalent of a 'monster'. So this reaction was the least of what he expected, Kaneki casting a glance over his shoulder at the boy who'd spoken up with both eyes narrowing slightly.

It takes a second for him to regard what he says while keeping in mind the robots which are bound to be coming at him any second. Such a strange child. Could he be asking about his kagune, then? The thought gave him pause but before he could address it, he caught sight of something moving out of the corner of his eye.

Just before another paddle hit him, another tendril formed along with the others until there was four out to which he used without so much as a shred of thought. One shot out to sever the robot's arm while two of them punctured the robot itself with a mechanical screeching noise as he tore them apart entirely too easily. ]


...Does it matter what they are?

[ Addressed as calmly as ever, Kaneki turned to face the boy to regard him without missing a beat. As if he just hadn't destroyed a robot just a moment ago. ]
deontology: (XXXII.)

NO SHUT UP

[personal profile] deontology 2015-03-07 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[... name goes here. I hope you're ready for his ridiculous archaic name.]

Abe no Sousei.

[He'll expectantly wait for either her "WHAT DO I CALL YOU' or for her to introduce herself in turn. Either-or.]
reuser: (41)

MAKE ME

[personal profile] reuser 2015-03-07 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Nope, she's just going to dive right into being incorrect about it. With a smile and everything! ]

Nice to meet you, Abe.
heartboop: (Nora: I HAVE A PLAN! TRUST ME!!)

Bonus!

[personal profile] heartboop 2015-03-07 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[TACKLES THAT BOT LIKE A BOSS!]

You leave her alone! [Starts punching it in the head while it whacks at her...thighs?!]

TAKE THAT YOU TART!

[Nora grabs it's arm and tries to break it by tugging on it in an unnatural way.]

It...better...be...STRAWBERRY!!
pachintoki: (investigation)

[personal profile] pachintoki 2015-03-07 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
. . . you're really a pain in the ass.

[He'll reach out and put a hand over whatever she's doing there.]

No ambulance needed. Just water.

[And then he's gonna stand up if she's not in the way. He really needed some water, and to get the hell out of this movie, now that he's seeing what looks like his own bathroom on the screen. Was nothing sacred? As he gets up though, he'll look around and notice that pretty much everybody in the movie has a look of embarrassment, everything from horrified to slight nervousness on their faces. Nobody, at all, was laughing.

A frown slowly makes it's way across his face as he watches the audience, then looks back up at the screen, then back down to the girl in the aisle.]


Oi. What's happening in the movie right now?
troubadear: (Ooooh!)

Maribelle | Fire Emblem

[personal profile] troubadear 2015-03-07 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Theatre V

[Maribelle had certainly meant to attend My Petite Equestrian Experience. A delightful tale of horses could only please a young lady such as herself. Surely more so than anything regarding "questionable morals". But it seems she walked in through the wrong door and is here instead. It seems rude to storm out before anything "questionable" occurs, so she sits through it and finds herself surprisingly pleased! How noble and gallant, all those common folk banding together to bring good to the world! She's quite touched!

The fact that memories of her delightful Lissa's smile are spliced between these good deeds only serves to soften Maribelle's heart further.]
Oh... My darling Lissa... [Smiling through her tears, Maribelle fumbles with her handkerchief as she tries to clean her face and accidentally drops it onto the floor,] How I do wish I could show you this, I'm sure you would find it quite uplifting...

[STOP. TEARFUL SLUT, WHO SAID YOU COULD CAUSE SUCH A SCENE?]

... I do beg your pardon?! Who do you think you are addressing, you- you tin bound troglodyte!
reuser: (56)

[personal profile] reuser 2015-03-07 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
—Nora!

[ Seriously, teammate, where did you even come from. For a moment, Pyrrha can only watch, utterly flabbergasted by the ridiculousness of all this. It is only a moment, fortunately - and then she’s kicking into gear herself.

After all, Nora is assaulting the theatre staff.

Pyrrha grabs her by the back of her collar and pulls off the thing. ]


Nora! Nora. It’s down. You’ve won.
deontology: (LXII.)

[personal profile] deontology 2015-03-07 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
They claim they do.

[Sousei crosses his arms. He's not alarmed at the situation (there are no screams, giant bugs, or killer robots yet) but...he also doesn't trust it.]

However, they have also sent robots after us with the intent to kill us, have trapped us in areas with ghosts, and have caused us harm and difficulty in numerous other, smaller ways.

[...]

You may and should draw your own opinions about their intentions for us, but trusting them too simply would be foolish.
pachintoki: (only listening once)

[personal profile] pachintoki 2015-03-07 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Tch, even that might be better than the movie.

[He'll shake his now very empty soda container, then sigh. Just as he's about to say something, an image starts playing on the screen, an image of a very small boy with white fluffy hair, along with a group of kids around his age. Gintoki's face, though, is unimpressed. ]

This place is really screwed up.

[Even as he says it, he won't stop watching.]
deontology: (VII.)

STOPS TAGGING YOU

[personal profile] deontology 2015-03-07 09:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[She's the most correct of anyone so far!! Congrats, Pyrrha.

But she didn't give him her name in return so...]


And your name?
dimidiampura: (▷ Lost in reason and rationality)

[personal profile] dimidiampura 2015-03-07 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[ For how long he'd been out here had gone unnoticed, catching his breath and wits about him. It's only when he hears movement and then a voice next to him does Kaneki actually look over to the other with a quiet look of curiosity before straightening up a bit and offering a light smile, nodding a bit in assent. ]

I suppose they must think it's funny. Not that I will ever understand it or want to endure that again.

[ It's the plain truth as he didn't want to see his friends like that again. If he'd stayed longer who knows what others from home might have made a visual debut; scarring his mind further was long out of the question, thank you. ]
reuser: (84)

Good luck staying away B)

[personal profile] reuser 2015-03-07 09:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Now that he's declined to correct her, Pyrrha is going to refer to him that way forever. -- and, oh, right. This is a place where people don't automatically know her name. If her mild surprise is any indication, that will take some getting used to. ]

Pyrrha Nikos.

[ She holds out a hand for him. If he takes it, he'll find a sturdy handshake, unflinching without being overly firm. ]
dereban: ❥ all icons are my own unless otherwise denoted. (Default)

iv

[personal profile] dereban 2015-03-07 09:21 pm (UTC)(link)
But I already got the ticket. [ She says these words with a bored look in her eyes, holding out the ticket towards the young boy. ]

It'd be a waste to not use it, wouldn't it?