//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[monkeyfu]

[Smooth Jaune.

Very smooth.

Sun glances over, able to see the other blond clear as day and just quirks an eyebrow. That was the lamest attempt at a cover up ever and he's not going to ask.

...Except he is.]

You sure we're watching the same movie here? [Whispering back, until he snorts.] There's no one wearing a dress in this movie. Not even the girl robots.

[deontology]

[So long as he isn't quite so stressed out, that's a start. Sousei knows that it is just a start (he still has to uphold his word, after all) but he'll do it. He's never been on to hold back on something like that, after all.]

I see.

[Swords with siblings... maybe crafted by the same person? He's not sure. There's a lot he doesn't know about all of this, really, but as curious as he is, there are more important things.]

Then the first order of business is seeing if your brothers are here. [He knows Tenka... he knows how this family thing goes.] What are their names and appearances?

[kicksilver]

Weeeeell... [ That's a really long well, because he can't seem to think of a way to bullshit himself out of this situation. ] Shy type. That's all.

Mercury, by the way. Mercury Black.

[heartboop]

Sure thing, Ruby!

[...oh wait, where did she come from?]

How long you've been there? [Tightens her hold, making sparks fly out.]

[ruby_roses]

Long enough to see what you did with the first one's paddle.

[That actually made her cringe.]

[kicksilver]

Yeah, I never did get your name.

[ He clasps her hand and shakes it. ]

Mercury. Nice to meet you too, Ruby.

[prehensible]

Good heavens. [ he lowers his hand when he's certain his eyes are dry again, curling it a little hesitantly over tenka's and squeezing it. ] Making declarations like that.. I'm quite old, you know, Tenka-san, but I can't say that anyone's ever made a promise like that to me. I am just.. a sword, after all, no matter how I might appear to you.

[ he hesitates, then lifts his hand away again, reaching up to gently brush fingertips over tenka's jaw, allowing them to fall away a moment later. ]

You're a very kind person. I'm very lucky to have met you tonight, I think.

[thenameofscreen]

[ What is all this going on over here? She was just coming back from a trip to the concession stand when she saw... well, THIS. Where she's from an apology is typically not an invitation for pursuit with a flat weapon. If this is some sort of new trend Starfire is not digging it.

The paddle in the robot's hand begins to drip like an ice cream bar in an oven as two bright green beams concentrate on it, reducing it to a smoldering, bubbling stump of melted metal. It's followed by a sweet and polite tone from the orange skinned teenager carrying the jumbo sized tub of popcorn and a bottle of mustard (seriously they serve popcorn that large?!). ]

I do not believe it is very polite to assault your unarmed guests...

[oldgroove]

No, it's not okay! Nothing's ever going to be okay ever again!

[That's it for his kingdom, his reign, his ultimate summer getaway. With another sob, Kuzco helps himself to the offered handkerchief. He practically snatches it as if he already owns it and blows his nose loudly with it.]

What did I do to deserve this?

[Even if it wasn't real, he was being shown it on purpose and it was mean and totally completely 100% undeserved!]

[dimidiampura]

[ Between the reaction he was expecting and this one, the latter definitely seems to hurt a lot less but came off as being a LOT more surprising. The way she looked at him seemed not angry, but almost like she was seeing him again for the first time, which just didn't make sense initially because she DID see him some time recently before he'd arrived here.

He's well aware he's not the same baby-faced, awkward teenager he was back then. Both mentally and physically.

There's so much he'd like to address but keeps quiet on the matter and attempts to offer something like a wry smile. It's not much but it's a start. She doesn't seem like she remembers so perhaps there's no harm in saying something just in case, well aware she'd hit him if he tried to lie about any of this. ]

Aogiri. This happened when I was... with them before. I... was forced to accept some things I probably shouldn't have, so I could protect those close to me.

[ Mostly his changes being due to those ten days of torture at Jason's hands but like hell he's gonna say that outright. There it was. Still somewhat of a straight answer, though in the back of his mind he wondered how she'd take that. ]

Don't you remember that, Touka?

[mermaiding]

[She blinks at him owlishly, a if surprised he talked to her at all. But hey, the tail is in her grasp! And apparently he wants her to let go. Where's the fun in that??

But after a few tense seconds of consideration she grins and lets it go. At least she was able to clarify it was attached and a living part of him! Which meant...] Are not human, yes? [She sounds so terribly pleased by this.]

[monkeyfu]

[And there is Sun, scrambling to get away from both the scythe and he bot because he swears he felt some fur get cut off.]

Yeah, yeah I'm alright. [Getting to his geet and dusting off his pants.] Didn't think there were so many of them. Thanks for the save, Ruby.

[beaconed]

I... know what I saw!

[ He shoots him a weird look. But, maybe Sun's just being supportive. Yes, that's what's going on here. ] --but thanks, man.

[ He has to ask, too. ] ...So, what did you see?

[bangpae_yong]

[Well, that is pretty interesting to see. Zeno keeps his distance and watches the whole thing. Those things didn't stand a lot of chance against the man...he's strong that's for sure.]

Almost?

[Oh he didn't mean to offend.]

Don't worry, Zeno isn't completely human. [Since this man looks like he isn't human it might be okay to say. He offers a big smile, there's no judgement from Zeno.]

[heartboop]

Whoa whoa wait. [Stops walking and turns to him.] It's not a date date. We just happen to be two people who know each other a little and will be sharing this large popcorn bucket and watching the same movie in the dark. Okay?!

[philosophymajor]

Its the same way with cyber brain hacking. Crimes of that nature can range anywhere from simple spying, to data theft, and even murder. You can even mess with a person's sense of reality if you have the right skills.

[Just like she had been subjected to during her time as a military officer.]

And I never said that this wasn't a problem. Only that the source was most likely not cybernetic in origin. Any breach of a person's mind regardless of how it was caused is a crime and should be dealt with accordingly.

[harepiece]

[That fantastic face earns him an amused laugh... RUDE, MAYBE, but Oz can't help it.]

See? I told you they're really sour! [And based on that expression alone-] A little too sour, huh?

[souredsweet]

Ah, there's no need to apologize. Being taken off guard here is more common than most would prefer.

[The smile present grows a little apologetic, but it's brief, since Kaoru shifts to return the bow quickly. Manners are important, after all! But...]

It's nice to meet you, sir. ...But— the Samonji sword? [Maybe... it was a mishearing?? Or maybe Cerealia really does get weirder the longer it continues existing. That's a problem... Still, after that little hiccup in the conversation flow, Kaoru attempts to get back on track.]

My name is Nagumo Kaoru. And yes - or rather, I would consider it to be "often". At least once every two or three weeks.

[kicksilver]

[ He laughs, and pops a kernel of popcorn in his mouth from Nora's stash. :) ]

That's what I meant. [ He laughs again. ] Although I can't say what you'll think of me after the movie itself.

[monkeyfu]

[Phew! There's a sigh of relief as he sits back down, a grateful smile on his face.

At least until he registers that tone. So far Faunus aren't really a thing here, so the fact that he is one isn't much of a problem. But after yanking on a tail, asking that question and sounding happy about the whole thing? He's a little worried.

...Maybe he's been hanging out with Blake a little too much.]

...Nope, not human. I'm a Faunus. Like a human... but not. [He turns around to face her in his seat, keeping his voice low so he doesn't disturb anyone else. It's better like this anyways. He could have sworn he saw another image of Blake on a corpse again.]

[philosophymajor]

You're not human? Then what are you exactly? I've never seen a cyborg with modifications like yours before.

[Motoko was a bit confused and cocked her head to the side in a puzzled manner. In her world, you were Either a cyborg or you weren't. Things were as simple as that.]

Of course, it comes with the territory. We're all ex-military or police for the most part. So everyone under my command is used to the danger that comes with carrying out the kind of work we do. If they weren't I never would have recruited them in the first place.

[prehensible]

[ you're going to give mikazuki a heart attack one day, tsurumaru. the first sword to ever go into cardiac arrest. he's too old for these surprises...

it's a daunting prospect for souza, too. he can't even begin to imagine the schemes tsurumaru will think up to keep from being bored. how many people will he have to apologize to on this crane's behalf in just the first week..? ]

.. Ah well. You know I fret over Sayo. [ he's a tough little tanto, but that's exactly the reason he frets. sayo's been used for such ugly things, and he deserves better.

still, he's distracted from the worry by the older sword's comment. his expression brightens, a smile curving up onto his mouth again. ] Yes! Isn't it amazing? I didn't know that they could do this sort of thing.

[heartboop]

I wonder if we're on the first floor.

[He's free to take as much as he wants! It may be his last meal if he tries any funny business!

And they're walking again!]

Did you watch that pony movie already? [Since he was talking about it in such detail earlier.]

[beaconed]

You? Shy? [ You're eating out of his popcorn, though... ] Suddenly I feel a lot better about myself, hehe.

Don't worry, though, with practice, you'll be just as confident as an Arc! I'll teach you my ways!

[monkeyfu]

[Gah! Some of it is getting into his hair now! Thanks, Nora!]

Alright already! I give! Uncle!

[He quickly walks and leaps over the rows separated them, taking a seat beside her. This might be a mistake, but better to go with the flow at this point.

Besides, he's swiping some of her popcorn already.]