//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

Bruno Buccellati | Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

[vuotoa]

A: Phase II

[The reindeer... murderous as they are, aren't too much of a problem for Bruno. His Stand is enough to take them on, and should he not feel like fighting, escape is as simple as unzipping the floor, entering the space within, and moving through the ground to re-emerge at a quieter location.

Others don't seem to be as fortunate however, and judging by the rampant stamping of hooves on the ground, there are sounds of what appears to be a struggle coming from above ground. He doesn't need to think about it; this guy is inherently good, after all, so whether your character actually needs the help or not (it's hard to tell when you only have muffled noise to go by), Bruno will be unzipping the ground above him to launch himself through, summoning his Stand to punch the shit out of the oncoming reindeer.

Sadly, if your character isn't even remotely spiritually aware, Bruno will have literally just phased up from the ground and sent the reindeer flying through what probably looks to be sheer force of will.]

B IS FOR BONUS

[While he isn't oblivious to what the object adamantly hovering above his head is, it's also true that he isn't too bothered by it. But of course, while he won't be giving them freely, or even because he wants to, a kiss is a mere greeting, after all, what's there to be ashamed about? Just get it done, and that's that.]

[invoker]

[ Mitsuru can see the Stand as clear as day and she wonders whether it's a Persona user. She doesn't sense any outright hostility from this man...? But still, it doesn't hurt to be cautious, especially since she's got her own Persona out standing behind her to encasing one of the reindeer in ice.

Is that man... yelling something? She can't quite hear. ]

[vuotoa]

[With one of the reindeer immobilised, that's at least one less threat to worry about, and while he's both concerned and curious about the nature of the Stand of this woman, for the moment, she doesn't seem intent on causing him harm.

Which means he's free to pummel the shit out of the one in front of him. ANd Sticky Fingers is going to be doing just that, with a very valiant:]

ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI

[Repeat that as many times as you see fit to, the bottom line is this reindeer won't be getting up anytime soon. But what Jojo battle cry is complete without the finisher? With a final uppercut, Bruno yells, just as vigorously as before:]

ARRIVEDERCI!!

[He may also have saluted the poor reindeer, who knows, this started off as a serious tag, I'm sorry Kimi.]

II

[immobileyes]

[ Mary isn't seeing a whole lot of this, because right as she's about to be trampled, she's shrieking and throwing her hands up defensively - for all the good this will do - and then suddenly the reindeer is flying away from her. Along with a whole lot of other stuff, but she's already scooting back in a quivering ball of terror. WHY. ]

[vuotoa]

[The reindeer, now gushing blood from nearly every other orifice of its body, is hurled into a nearby tree where it slumps, unmoving, into the snow. If this is the best they've got, it seems things will be proceeding without too much of a hitch.

The problem now, however, is this little girl, towards whom Bruno turns as his Stand fades from view. He can't just leave her alone... Maybe he should just create a space for her and let her sit in there until all this blows over...]

Did they hurt you?

[immobileyes]

[ That guy just murdered a killer deer and something just appeared and she--

... can't seem to budge. ]

N-n-no??

[ that sure emerged more squeakily than she would have liked. ]

[vuotoa]

[Her admittance may have come rather nervously, but it's better than nothing.]

Then can you stand? After everything so far, I don't believe any area that's completely safe exists, but I'd rather keep moving forward.

[immobileyes]

U-um! I can-- [ wobble to her feet. And keep wobbling. Yep. ] I'm fine!

[vuotoa]

[With a silent exhale - a sigh, but not quite - Bruno reaches out to steady her.]

If you need time to rest, I can give you a moment.

[immobileyes]

I... I don't think we should stay still.

[ So she sucks in a deep breath. ]

... B-but thank you for helping me.

[vuotoa]

Those creatures were attacking you, it was nothing.

[Really. After dealing with so many Stand users, those reindeer are no problem at all. And unless they learn how to launch sneak attacks, they'll be fine.]

But if you insist, we'll keep moving.

[immobileyes]

Yes, please... [ and she'll just hover stupidly close. ]