//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

fushimi saruhiko | gakuen k

[mokoko]

( PHASE IIIA. )

[ As if the elves and reindeer weren't ridiculous enough, the minotaur really drove home the fact that there was trying, and then trying too hard, when it came to originality. Murderous elves, murderous reindeer— following the natural progression of things, yeah, he's totally about to embrace what looks like a murderous minotaur. He's rational enough to consider it an option, but it certainly wasn't high up on his priority list.

Welcome to the generic battle option, where you can save and reload with Fushimi in attempts to brute force it down with the aide of RNG. Or not. Because instead, you can watch as the minotaur literally grabs his saber mid-swing, and in two different instances: 1.) plucking it from his hand to throw across the room (fetch!) from a direct confrontation and 2.) seeing as that didn't deter him, picking him up instead and making Fushimi meet the same fate as his sword, earlier, when he tries to attack from behind.

At least his aerobatics were admirable. ]

( PHASE IIIB. )

[ Of course, two altercations later, and possibly left unattended— perhaps it was. Time to go with another approach. Just— maybe. And so, after doing a quick check around him (the coast seemingly clear from spectators), Fushimi will go in for the kill. He remains guarded, and even though his sword is sheathed (a repeat is last of what he wants), he's ready to dodge and draw it if necessary. Not that. It'd help.




… Twenty seconds and counting later, and the hug is still going. ]

( BONUS. )

[ Clearly, his initial idea of ignoring the thing wasn't working. Attempts going as far as to trying to walk and speed walk away, Fushimi concludes it's time to switch to a different tactic, when it decides to speed and hover right in front of his face. Fortunately, his reaction time is quick enough that it only so much bumps his glasses against his face rather than smash, but. That's more than enough for him to be Done. ]

Tch. How annoying. [ Fixing the position of his glasses (that's probably a glint you see), he quickly moves a hand to his sheathe. ] … Fushimi, emergency battou!

[ He sure is pulling out his saber to address the tiny, floating plant. Fushimi is all quick swings but he's far from… actually suceeding… with his task… ]

IIIB ofc.....

[pathofkings]

My...! I wouldn't have expected such a tactic from you. Good thinking, Fushimi-kun.

[Watching from a distance, Munakata sounds like a proud father. Sure, he's well-aware by now that this Fushimi isn't his Fushimi, but he sounds pleased nonetheless...!

When did he even get here, anyway? Who knows.]

why this

[mokoko]

[ There's a subtle pause when Fushimi feels himself stiffen— obvious variations aside, there were some things that never changed. Such as that particularly voice being the voice of nightmares— okay, slight (major) exaggeration, but it's still always cause for moderate alarm. ]

… Director. [ His response is automatic, arms dropping like lead. When he turns, there's no doubt that there's something wrong— but that could be addressed later. ] It was the solution provided by the minotaur itself.

[ Which speaking of, looks utterly baffled. While the power of love and all compels it to stay, it really, really, really needed to go. ]

[pathofkings]

Is that so?

[Do you really expect him to believe that, Fushimi... Somehow, the minotaur looks far more put out here...!! Though, if it was true (he can't be completely sure—if nothing else, he wasn't here for all of that) and Fushimi actually tried it... Well, that raises more questions than answers!

Munakata is intrigued.]

Regardless, perhaps it would be best to move on. Unless you would like to say goodbye first?

[Look, if they had A Moment, Munakata can respect that!]

[mokoko]

Assaults from its front, flank, and rear were ineffective. [ Why is he even trying. ] It only lowered its guard when I approached unarmed.

[ Real talk: no… he really doesn't, and it shows in the way he punctuates his last sentence with a click of his tongue. It was the result after trials and tribulations okay…! and while it was definitely questionable, the tasks Munakata often put him up to were up there, as well?! Call it desensitization…maybe. ]

… That won't be necessary. [ Despite the beast looking to be on the verge of tears, Fushimi dismisses the minotaur with a flick of his wrist, causing it to stalk off rather exaggeratedly. What a tease. ] We've already wasted enough time idling.

[pathofkings]

[An attempt was made... But it's difficult to tell if Munakata is judging beyond that pleasant little smile of his. Like Fushimi, he decides not to dwell on this any longer.]

Then let's move on, shall we? I hope you won't mind if I accompany you.

[He's being pretty polite about it, but honestly, he'll probably end up following him anyway...]

bonus

[redsea]

[ Fushimi, you're supposed to be a knight, not a jester. His sword-swinging antics have this princess in stitches, covering her mouth with her sleeve as giggles escape her. ]

I've never seen a sword used for that...

[ How long has she been watching him? Since she has nothing to do, it's safe to say... since forever. Haha. ]

[mokoko]

[ Watchful eyes were easy to ignore if not a slight annoyance when it came down to it, as long as they eventually moved on with their business. But that didn't seem to be the case, and it was apparent after his fourth swing followed by the laugh.

On the plus side, at least the mistletoe wasn't in his direct line of sight anymore, opting to hover close behind. So to deal with the immediate problem next: ]

And? [ Translation: Isn't there something more productive you could be doing?? One word goes a long way, wowie. Give it three for something to happen… ]

[redsea]

[ Kougyoku gasps when he notices her, looking down as she locks her fingers behind her back. No. What makes him think she'd do something like be a productive member of modern society? Actually, forget what she said. She was hoping he wouldn't hear that. It's something lonely princesses stuck in lonely palaces do, you know? Talk to themselves and hope no one thinks they're insane. He does have a point, though. Why isn't she anywhere else but here? There are a million reasons, but they all come down to her boredom and tendency to stalk others in her spare time like the creep she is. ]

Nothing! [ She's blushing!? why ] I just thought it was funny because... I do that, too...

[ Swing a sword at flying objects that irritate her, she means. ]

[mokoko]

[ Then again, it's not like Fushimi is any better?! Especially when considering his current usage of time. … Usual usage of time. It's not within his usual pursuit of interests to care what other people think either, but there's something about the situation that really ticks him off, and so.

He takes a step closer to her, gaze scrutinizing— instead of doing the opposite, which was standard to the norm. ]

If you have something else to say, just say it. [ He sounds more irritated than he should over this… ]

[redsea]

[ Upon closer examination, Kougyoku not only realizes that he's handsome, but also A SCARY PERSON!! She knows she has her own sword and he probably won't attack, it's just... He seems like the type who is critical of other people. That's more frightening, apparently. ]

A-ah, well, I... I...

[ No good, he's too good-looking and too scary to talk to. But he approached her first... (because she stalked him.) Maybe they could be friends... (after he found out she was stalking him.) ]

I do fencing, too! So, so I was wondering if... I mean, what style... [ Aaaah, she's not making any sense! ]

iiia i was too lazy to log in but now i am ready

[rollin]

[ Peals of laughter fill the air. What was that, man? Yata shakes his head when he sees the sword fly and wedge itself into a crack on the labyrinth wall. There's something off about this Fushimi, but Yata will take what he can. ]

Hah! You're losing your touch, Saru.

[ You know it's bad when Yata sees an uncool side of you. He sure is just standing there... ]

[mokoko]

[ Suddenly, what should've been a simple retrieval of his sword becomes a walk of shame, and he all but grits his teeth during the process. It's a given that Fushimi doesn't need to look over his shoulder to tell who it is— and it's unsurprising, that of all moments, Yata had to catch him at this precise moment, figures. ]

Even if that were the case, I doubt you could do any better. [ He wastes no time drawing his sword, turning sharply when he does. He's too far to notice that extra 0.1cm, so when did his attire have time to get worse? … So that's not what threw him off exactly (leopard print is Bad but at least it fit properly), but now wasn't the time. More importantly: ] Aa. Aren't you the one that's too scared to move, Misaki?

[rollin]

[ The 0.1cm is a lie, he's still 166.9cm and growing, excuse you. Guys at twenty can still gain an inch, right? He's hopeful. No comment on the fashion sense, though. The arbitrary first-name basis they're on earns Fushimi a scowl, and rest assured Yata won't let him get away with just that. Later, though. For now, the minotaur. ]

Fucking monkey... Who said anything about being scared? I was just warming up!

[ He probably intended to make that pun from the beginning. What a dork. Once he punctuates that sentence with a fire storm around him, he charges at the minotaur head-on with a battle cry, only to get tackled back. Yata's body slams against the wall, creating cracks in the surface before landing face first on the ground. He's miraculously alive, but this isn't the first time he's experienced that strong a blow.

Just don't look at him as he tries to get up. He was sure that attack would work... ]

[mokoko]

[ Touché! It's probably retribution for his distaste over milk, there's no going back now. All the dairy he'd passed onto Fushimi are the extra inches he's missing now, it's true.

And let him fix his priorities for you? It should be something like Fushimi >>>>> minotaur >>>>>>>> everything else at this moment ok. No, but it's good data, considering it continues to be surprisingly docile despite their repeated attacks and apparent aggression. ]

If you had any skill to lose in the first place, you've completely lost all of it. [ He makes a sound, akin to a heh under his breath… At least Fushimi didn't get thrown like that! Wait. ] At your level, you may as well try and do what it says if you want a remote chance of success.

[ Because he sure as hell's not trying… Especially not in front of someone like Yata. ]

bonus...

[alpako]

[ This clearly isn't what she expected to see here, her classmate trying to hit at a floating plant (too tiny to tell what it is) with his sword -- the sword she's seen him using to fight against the red club during the lunchtime battle on her first day.

...but now that she's part of the red club, does that make her his enemy...?

Saya hesitates, but calls out, ]

Fushimi-kun?

[mokoko]

[ … Evidently, tactic #2 wasn't working— which leaves Fushimi with a sense of distaste and to consider using his powers. But that thought is cut short when he's disrupted, and there's a beat when he turns towards the direction of the voice. He always was someone with a defining list of priorities, and while the mistletoe bot was irritating, it wasn't that high up there to warrant his complete attention or effort. At the moment. Yet? ]

Konohana. [ She looks more or less the same as he remembers— but he's careful, considering his run-ins with other people that were supposed to be familiar. There's something that irritates him about the way she regards him too, but that probably (definitely) is something else speaking. He'll regard her, but he'll wait to see what she has to say, first. ]

[alpako]

You know my name...

[ He knows her name. The relief is evident in her eyes and she approaches him without half the concern she had earlier holding her back. ]

I'm so glad, I thought I was...

[ ...was being forgotten. Alone. But this isn't something she should bother him with, especially when they don't know each other well. ...Even if they're classmates.

She thinks she should stop, but something keeps her walking closer. It's strange... Not understanding, she -- forces herself to stop and tries to find a conversation topic. ]

...I'm glad you're alright! The elves and reindeers were a little scary, but you don't look hurt at all.

[ He probably defeated them with ease! She thinks. ]

iiia

[awaken]

[ At first, Minako claps—the guy is really nimble!—but it looks like there's going to be more trouble for him.

And that minotaur's huge... well, she's seen bigger, more dangerous monsters. She's gonna step into the battle field, naginata in one hand. ]

Hey! Need a hand?

[mokoko]

[ He scores a 10/10, he's about to bow and receive his gold medal— if only that were the actual circumstance, because it'd be a fraction less bothersome than their current one— maybe.

But at the offer of help, Fushimi assesses the newcomer— at least she seemed steady on her feet. He's no stranger to cooperating, so while he wasn't (completely) adverse to it… first: ]

Close combat won't work on it. [ It's neither a yes or no, but it's close enough to the former. ]

[awaken]

What about long range?

[ In which she pulls out a gun, points it right at her temple, and pulls the trigger. Rising from the blue fog suddenly appearing above her head is a naked blue-skinned woman with white markings and wielding a couple of odd-looking swords. She also has horns, but, they're not important.

Really.

But she's lifting her swords and suddenly there's a pale purplish ball of light falling on the minotaur and explodes in blind light. ]

Did that work...?

bonus;

[flaredo]

... Well, points for trying.

[ Yang's not even bothering to hide the fact that she's amused by this totally serious-looking guy trying to cut down an adorable sprig of greenery. ]

[mokoko]

[ Thanks?! As if the taunts from the mistletoe bot weren't enough… Well, he doesn't particularly care, but still. It's slight motivation however, to try and end this more quickly. Tsking and tching being his main methods of communication, he does it again (not much to say to the peanut gallery, but it's as much of a regard if any)— saber in hand glowing a deep blue. ]

[flaredo]

[ Don't mind the peanut gallery, she'll just fold her arms across her chest and watch his valiant attempts. Put up a good fight, Glasses!! ]

[mokoko]

[ His strikes were fast already, but enhanced with the aura, his hit actually connects—




—only for it to make a resounding 'clang' against the mistletoe bot, shaking off his blow as if nothing ever happened shortly after. Well, there goes that, and somehow, he can't be surprised. He tried! And that then brings him to the second item on his to-do-list: ]

Don't you have anything better to do. [ He draws a few steps closer to her, though maintains a respectful distance; you'd think he could talk from where he was… ]