//SCENARIOS.EXE
PHASE I [ 19 00 ]
The festival begins promptly with a kick-off speech and a toast from Julius Vincere, encouraging everyone to celebrate beneath the two moons as they light the sky. The weather is crisp and beautiful, leaving them both in full view as their light cascades upon the festival. Around the district, there are several stands full of standard fair food (candy apples/corn dogs/ice cream/deep fried everything), games, and an assortment of many awkward prizes (if you're wondering what these are, do remember you're in the Pleasure District!). Also, there is alcohol everywhere, served to minors and adults alike.
PHASE II [ 1945 ]
The music is playing loudly beneath the noises of the festival. Anyone approaching the speakers will notice a strange buzzing noise that keeps wavering. Then, the sound changes abruptly to the sound of pained moaning hidden within the song. It grows more pronounced by the second until the lights in the Pleasure District flicker off for a brief second. When they return, there is someone crawling out of the speaker. Your eyes squint, and you can see them briefly, the faint outlines of their form as their screaming escalates, only everyone else seems to be deaf to it. Only you can hear it, and you wonder how and why no one else is reacting. Is it just you? Are you hallucinating? Better get used to that feeling in Cerealia.
PHASE III [ 2000 ]
Your friendly speaker friend up there doesn't seem to want to go away. (S)he keeps crawling out and disappearing throughout the evening, but it's easier to ignore as Julius takes to the stage. He has a special announcement for all. CERESdate (who sponsored this wonderful festival by the way) has agreed to set up all you vibrant, sexy Cerealia singles with some robot partners for the night. Want to escape? Too late. They're latching on and dragging you out to the dance floor to boogie down. Afterwards, they'll try and drag you to the nearby hotels for some extra loving. You are welcome to run at this point or comply happily.
PHASE IV [ 2103 ]
Have you escaped the overzealous sex robots? Good, good! Now, it's time for the real fun. The holograms turn from PG images of the stars and surrounding moons and planets to a few fun images of various robot couples caught in absolute bliss. You may spot a clown mask in there or two, reminiscent of those who were running around causing a bit of trouble earlier. The images continue to get distorted as the clowns look like they're stretching their necks out of the image and reaching out towards you. The moaning from before returns.
Doesn't it get you in the mood? If it does and you'd like to find a partner for the night, a few CERESdate robots will be on hand to help fix you up with a partner, organic or otherwise. They're being quite insistent again because they want your credits.
BONUS [ whyo'clock ]
Have you ever been stalked by a condom-dispensing machine? Well, there's a first time for everything! These friendly contraptions are set up all over the Pleasure District, waiting for you to pass by before trailing after you very slowly. At first you don't notice. Every time you turn around, it stands stationery. But the moment you start to move, it just carefully rolls behind you. Watching. Waiting.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]
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no subject
... ]
Haha, whaaaat. Bro, I'm not the pervert here.
[ he takes dick pics and doesn't send them to anyone because he has no friends ]
When someone thinks of fucking, like, "dudes who sit around staring at people and prolly popping boners from it" they don't like of The United Sates of America. They think of the fucking Russian Federation, like. Yo.
[ strong arguments on this end. counter that, russia. ]
no subject
Нет.
[ and a strong rejoinder from the russian federation! ]
Are you sure you're not describing France?
[ or maybe 80% of the entire male population of earth regardless of nationality? ]
no subject
wait, maybe some burn for that ice? hahahahaha. get it. ]
I--
[ . . . ]
Okay, maybe a tiny bit but you still wear a trench coat which totally proves my point!
[ this is also true. still, old man pervert. ]
no subject
[ not that he doesn't wear trench coats, but details. ]
What point? Do you think everyone who wears a coat is a pervert?
[ and continuing tonight's theme of patronizing confusion! why trench coats? he doesn't get it. ]
no subject
[ america, don't be obtuse. it is obviously not a trench coat because it's being worn by russia. all he wears is old man grandpa sweaters. ]
A trench coat, you jerk. Haven't you ever watched To Catch A Predator? Or, or, or. I don't know, anything with old men who go to playgrounds to watch kids. Always a trench coat, dude.
[ you're such a fucker, you totally know what he's talking about.
anyway, eating a piece of cotton candy and then absentmindedly holding it out for russia to have some too. he's a nice guy like that. ]
no subject
Spies wear trench coats too. By that logic, all spies would then be pedophiles.
[ wow, they're really having this conversation.
oh, cotton candy! for him? that's the first nice thing you've done all day, america!
russia plucks a tuft of it and puts it in his mouth, letting it melt on his tongue. sickeningly sweet. it reminds him of the circus. he misses the circus. do they have circuses here? they must have...
luckily, the taste manages to help counteract another mood swing, and russia finishes the rest of whatever's in the now-crinkled cup. ]
Or in your... ah, film noir.
no subject
See, but that's like Pre-90s trench coats. Anything after the 90s is pedophilia.
[ they really, really are.
anyway, fuck off! he can be nice sometimes! it's just instinct in him to be polite, no matter who he's with. some of that politeness is just straight up sharing his food with anyone in the vicinity. even if they are ex-commie bastards.
that said, if russia goes to the circus, america is totally tagging along. the circus is fucking baller, dude. gonna casually keep eating this cotton candy too, it's fucking delicious.
he doesn't bother to respond to the film noir part because. 90s. just a flat look. ]
no subject
[ your brain works in mysterious ways, america. if only he could crack your skull open like a wristwatch and examine the clockwork. :'c
see? sharing is caring.
probably shouldn't have eaten the cotton candy with gloves on, though. russia's just going to try and pick off stray bits of the floss with his teeth as they walk, probably looking ridiculous. ]
no subject
[ ah, sweet sweet clarification.
also please don't get all dr frankenstein on him. that would suck.
shut up. and if there's one thing america would never judge on it's looking ridiculous in the name of food. doesn't matter how much he hates you, if there is food he won't judge. fucking cotton candy is worth licking up to the last drop. speaking of, he finished the cotton candy too.
god damnit, time for more snacks. ]
Ugh, I need like... a chili cheese dog or something. Jesus Christ.
no subject
How much are you planning to eat? You should leave some food for other people, America, or they will all starve.
[ russia, on the other hand, is going to judge all he wants.
he tosses the empty cup into a nearby trash can and immediately starts looking for more alcohol. maybe a bottle this time? ]
no subject
There's plenty of food for them and me! I'm just... really hungry for some reason. Shut up.
[ shut up. leave him and his bottomless pit stomach alone. though tbh he's probably overeating out of Issues involving the lack of actual country anymore. shut up again.
you're the one drinking a lot. ]
You're the one drinking a lot. Seriously. Why are you so boozy today? No one wants to hang out with an alcoholic.
[ which you are ]
no subject
And yet here you are!
[ and where you'll stay, right. it's less than ideal, but you're the only one he knows in this godforsaken place.
he might be drinking for the same reasons you're eating.
russia peels off once more to a nearby vendor, purchasing this time a large bottle of whatever it was he'd been consuming before. only this time, he asks for another cup and pours a generous shot into it, handing it to america, while he takes a long, uninterrupted pull out of the bottle. ]
no subject
I-- [ erk. here he is, isn't he? why is he... here...
oh! ] Well, someone's gotta watch you, right? Jesus, at least I know how to handle you! I can't let these poor people be burdened with the idea of interacting with someone as disgusting as you.
[ yes that's totally why he's here. excellent!
also, yay booze! america's gonna be real pleased as he gets that drink from russia and grins from ear to ear. ]
Cheers, big guy!
[ hell yeah, shots! ]