//TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE MOONFESTCON 2014 PART I: Embracing Lunacy It's that time of the season to praise the two moons of Cerealia. As they hang in the sky, looking harmless and moon-like, the robots and CERES staff have gathered together to prepare a fanciful celebration. It's primarily located in the Pleasure District where paper lanterns hang and where fireworks are starting to burst in the sky. Everyone is welcome to dress up and enjoy an evening of fantastic pleasures, platonic or otherwise. "Good evening! As always, I'm pleased you all can join me. Do enjoy all the beverages being passed around along with the many services we have to offer, all there for your pleasure. Take time to play in one of our many booths or just slip away and have a crazy evening. The moons bid it. Don't be shy."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 1900 ] The festival begins promptly with a kick-off speech and a toast from Julius Vincere, encouraging everyone to celebrate beneath the two moons as they light the sky. The weather is crisp and beautiful, leaving them both in full view as their light cascades upon the festival. Around the district, there are several stands full of standard fair food (candy apples/corn dogs/ice cream/deep fried everything), games, and an assortment of many awkward prizes (if you're wondering what these are, do remember you're in the Pleasure District!). Also, there is alcohol everywhere, served to minors and adults alike. PHASE II [ 1945 ] The music is playing loudly beneath the noises of the festival. Anyone approaching the speakers will notice a strange buzzing noise that keeps wavering. Then, the sound changes abruptly to the sound of pained moaning hidden within the song. It grows more pronounced by the second until the lights in the Pleasure District flicker off for a brief second. When they return, there is someone crawling out of the speaker. Your eyes squint, and you can see them briefly, the faint outlines of their form as their screaming escalates, only everyone else seems to be deaf to it. Only you can hear it, and you wonder how and why no one else is reacting. Is it just you? Are you hallucinating? Better get used to that feeling in Cerealia. PHASE III [ 2000 ] Your friendly speaker friend up there doesn't seem to want to go away. (S)he keeps crawling out and disappearing throughout the evening, but it's easier to ignore as Julius takes to the stage. He has a special announcement for all. CERESdate (who sponsored this wonderful festival by the way) has agreed to set up all you vibrant, sexy Cerealia singles with some robot partners for the night. Want to escape? Too late. They're latching on and dragging you out to the dance floor to boogie down. Afterwards, they'll try and drag you to the nearby hotels for some extra loving. You are welcome to run at this point or comply happily. PHASE IV [ 2103 ] Have you escaped the overzealous sex robots? Good, good! Now, it's time for the real fun. The holograms turn from PG images of the stars and surrounding moons and planets to a few fun images of various robot couples caught in absolute bliss. You may spot a clown mask in there or two, reminiscent of those who were running around causing a bit of trouble earlier. The images continue to get distorted as the clowns look like they're stretching their necks out of the image and reaching out towards you. The moaning from before returns. Doesn't it get you in the mood? If it does and you'd like to find a partner for the night, a few CERESdate robots will be on hand to help fix you up with a partner, organic or otherwise. They're being quite insistent again because they want your credits. BONUS [ whyo'clock ] Have you ever been stalked by a condom-dispensing machine? Well, there's a first time for everything! These friendly contraptions are set up all over the Pleasure District, waiting for you to pass by before trailing after you very slowly. At first you don't notice. Every time you turn around, it stands stationery. But the moment you start to move, it just carefully rolls behind you. Watching. Waiting. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fourth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[cheats]

I wouldn't take it too seriously, if I were you.

[ Ciel sighs, then gives a dismissive wave of his hand. His expression is neutral and even, which gives the impression that he isn't as bothered by the topic as he actually is. ]

It's the same as what they told us, in any case, where it's most likely to be a lie. It seems some people just take enjoyment out of watching such a thing.

[allweather]

[SAD old man, wow, he's not sad!! He does make an old man noise of protest at Oz's suggestion, one that sounds suspiciously like "I would rather not." Reim's very good at oddly specific protest noises, of course.

The prize is a merciful distraction (not for long) from his gaming disaster. He watches Oz mess with it and has no more idea what it really is, himself... It's not a hand crank torture device, what could it be??]

A puzzle game... [um] I'm not sure... It doesn't look as if it does much of anything.

[cheats]

[ Ciel opens his mouth to make some kind of smart comment, but thankfully, it disappears when his super cool prize gets tossed at his face. ]

Ow—

[ His hand flies up to cover his face immediately, which also means he doesn't even try to catch the super cool prize, so there it is, vibrating alone on the ground. ]

Why did you throw it at my face?! You could have just dropped it!

[sewayaku]

[ burn it into your mind, bro, it won't happen again... ]

Nesso...! [ if he sounds relieved, it's because he is, even if this is kind of humiliating. All things considered, he'd rather deal with good-natured jabs than uncomfortable robot foreplay. Zara takes the chance to duck away from the robot - which, unfortunately, also tries to go around Nesso. ] Thank you, but -- it seems I've somehow gotten a persistent suitor!

[cheats]

I've been trying to leave it here for the better part of an hour.

[ He huffs angrily, but at least draws away from Oz the Shield finally as he puts his hand on his hip. ]

It just follows you! That's the problem!

[sewayaku]

[ naturally, Zara remembers! His mind's like a sponge for important people, and he certainly couldn't forget the favor Elza had done for the family before. And here he is, once again being helpful. Nesso had fine taste in friends. Elza's broad body can push through the crowds much easier than Zara could.

He follows after, stopping beside him once they're out of the metaphorical fire, and hesitantly releases his ears. The screaming sound is still pretty clear to him, but at least it's not destructively loud like before. Still, he's frowning. ]

A little bit... What in the world is that noise? [ a pause. ] It sounds like someone screaming, but who...?

[allweather]

[Well he's not saying anything that clues Reim in on him being anywhere else but here for a while, so now he's wondering how long this literal child has been in such a bizarre and overly flashy place. How tragic.]

Perhaps they have a reason for it. For being tight-lipped about every detail, that is- That thing may very well have been harmless.

[Okay, he does doubt that about 200%, but it's still possible... right.]

[lionly]

Anyone who'd say otherwise clearly isn't a knight.

[Yep! Elza punctuates this with a definitive nod as they slip out into the alleyway. He pauses when Nesso does, his tail swinging lightly back and forth before he props one of his hands on his hips.

He surveys the area around them.]

Looks like it, captain. I think that it's safe to recuperate for a moment, reconsider our course of action.

patchouli knowledge | touhou

[sunshade]

phase i
[ Patchouli really isn't one for parties, but she was certainly interested in the fact that this place had two moons. Apparently, this would be the best place to observe them in full, ridiculous and questionable district aside. She frowns, but manages to secure herself a decent chunk of space to twirl around in wiTH A CANDY APPLE HANGING OUT OF HER MOUTH. And starts bending the moonlight around her. It whips around in odd shapes and spirals, but oddly enough doesn't affect the area outside of her person. Alternatively she can be seen scarfing down copious amounts of sweets while doing this. Patch.....ouli......are you okay there ]

phase iii
[ HOW ABOUT NO by which I mean Patchouli is struggling terribly to wrench herself from the grip of the overzealous love robots. She repeatedly tries to create dents in their arms, their torsos, but it seems her metal magic isn't working properly. Shame. ]

I don--do not wish to dance, are you listening? My body is in no condition for this, so release me this instant! Excuse me!

[cheats]

[ Yeah, as soon as the red hair catches his eye, Ciel narrows in on that alley and abruptly changes directions so that he can run inside it instead. The machine follows, but stops a foot or so short of the entrance, thankfully. Ciel, meanwhile, puts his arm up against the wall of the alley as he leans forward to catch his breath. ]

What in the hell is wrong with this place!? That's disgusting!

[normcore]

[ The seriousness part doesn't sit well with her, but logically she can assess that that is because of her own feelings. Still, she's not going to sit here and take in that Velma and the rest of that gang have failed and that her death means nothing.

No matter what some charismatic head honcho says. ]

There are people who take enjoyment playing a part in it too. [ She lets out a deep sigh, then motions to his "prize." ] If he's expecting us to enjoy ourselves at this kind of party, he's obviously trying to deflect something. Wouldn't you think?

[foetida]

[Whoops, she hadn't actually meant to hit his face with it.] I-it was instinct!

[Which might be the closest thing he'll get to an apology from Nanami, except then she proceeds to ruin it as usual.] And how was I supposed to know you'd just let it hit you instead of catching or dodging it? You've got really terrible reflexes for a boy, you know.

[sewayaku]

[ woah he looks so impressed. Zara can't help but snicker rather amusedly under his breath, though there's no venom in the action. Quite the opposite - he's tickled. Not once has ever seen someone so interested in meeting a rabbit, even here. ]

That's right, I am. You seem surprised... Am I the first you've met?

[cheats]

Somehow, I rather doubt that.

[ Ugh. If it's not a murderous amusement park, then it's... Well, whatever the hell this place is supposed to be. It's so far beyond Ciel's Victorian sensibilities that he still hasn't quite figured that part out just yet. He sighs in an irritated way and shakes his head. ]

...At the very least, they don't seem to be attacking us, so that's well enough. Though still, it's ridiculous to think that something with that sort of look would be benign.

[lionly]

Aah, [Elza makes an uncomfortable sound.] Maybe it was...

[He pauses, not wanting to say it. But he shoots a look back to where they came from, bringing one of his hands up to his chin and rubbing his knuckles against it pensively]

Did you see it? That... thing. Person. [Ghost?? Elza doesn't believe in spooks. Maybe. Probably.] I thought I saw something like that a few times, actually.

[allweather]

[Don't worry, "literally in space" is beyond Reim, too. Every so often he remembers there are two moons and wonders if he should panic.]

Benign, no, but under someone's control— someone who doesn't want to harm us, ideally— [He shrugs; when you work with terrible hellmonsters, what's one more.] It's possible. But I don't think inquiries about it will come to anything, if only a few of us can see it.

[sewayaku]

[ rabbitnapping successful. Zara smiles genially, offering a single nod to the merchant before hastily turning around himself, herding Reim off with him. He waits until they're out of earshot before he actually says anything - thankfully, the crowd is actually helpful in that regard. Facing the other man, he bows his head deferentially just a touch, careful not to hit him with an ear. ]

I'm sorry if I've interrupted something, but you looked like you could use an excuse... Am I wrong? [ a wry but friendly smile. ]

[changeably]

[Reim... That is just sad. Maybe he needs a drink, if he's that stressed out already.]

Perhaps he thought you were rich, and if he convinced you to play, you would give him more money in the long run.

[Cynbel doesn't go far, and when they're out of the way enough, he stops. At least over here, the crowd's a bit thinner, anyway, so Reim can take a breath and a chill pill.]

But you're right. That's no reason to be so pushy and rude, when there are others waiting!

Phase I

[mermaiding]

[While she's started growing used to adding other things to her diet, she isn't quite ready for this level of it.

At least Zara is just non-human enough to make Oona not outright hostile to him as she eyes the caramel apple with a nod of agreement.] Nothing here is good. Greasy human food, is awful. [She huffs]

Should be more fish. They never have raw fish out. [And life is hard.]

I

[sunshade]

[ ....squints at the mystery prize for a moment ]

By the shape, I'm guessing it's some sort of device you affix to your ears.

[sisconning]

[You never know. This place likes its sex robots too much.]

Zara. [A greeting, thinly veiled relief at seeing him, here and well -- aside from his new admirer.] I never knew you were such a heart breaker.

[Can he really trust someone like that around his precious, naive Fiona? Really? Nesso chuckles at the thought, even as the robot goes chasing its way around him. Ah... Very persistent.]

She certainly doesn't want to take no for an answer. [He'll be kind and try to maneuver himself between Zara and his robot girlfriend.]

[allweather]

[It would be a horrible lie to say Reim doesn't notice the ears almost immediately, once they're far enough away to stop worrying about the merchant. They're right at his eye level, look at them... but unlike some other Victorians, he's too polite to ask.

Glance, yes. But not ask. He manages to look more sheepish than incredibly fed up, just this once.]

No, no - I should thank you. I was starting to wonder if we'd be at it until one of us dropped... [not that it would have been him, but still.]

[sisconning]

Strategy isn't immediately apparent to everyone.

[There is a reason why they are the men in charge, after all. ...which is that they're the best at beating up other men with swords. But also strategy. He crosses his arms, expression growing more serious as he nods.]

Good. We'll need the time. [His expression softens.] It's a relief to see you here.

[cheats]

[ Ciel sighs, since he can understand the same sentiment that Reim is thinking, though similarly doesn't think to express it. Sebastian is relatively benign unless Ciel orders otherwise, at least, but that's also because Sebastian is a moron. ]

So we can only hope.

[ He turns towards Reim, then offers a hand to shake. ]

Earl Ciel Phantomhive, by the way.

phase ii

[mermaiding]

Shoo, shoo! [Mermaid to the rescue! She shoos the person off with a handwave and a glare. It's not so much to help Reim out, but if he's loud enough to hear him over everything else then it's annoying.]

Humans do not see what they do not want to see, and the ones here are even worse. Do not waste breath on them. [She eyes him, trying to decide if he's human, since that will color how she handles everything else in this conversation. Apparently deciding he at least looks human enough,her expression becomes more arrogant.]

At least you noticed. Good, for human. But do not bother trying to warn others. Probably do not care. [Good vote of confidence there.]