ioculus | //TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE

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//TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE

MOONFESTCON 2014 PART I: Embracing Lunacy

It's that time of the season to praise the two moons of Cerealia. As they hang in the sky, looking harmless and moon-like, the robots and CERES staff have gathered together to prepare a fanciful celebration. It's primarily located in the Pleasure District where paper lanterns hang and where fireworks are starting to burst in the sky. Everyone is welcome to dress up and enjoy an evening of fantastic pleasures, platonic or otherwise.

"Good evening! As always, I'm pleased you all can join me. Do enjoy all the beverages being passed around along with the many services we have to offer, all there for your pleasure.

Take time to play in one of our many booths or just slip away and have a crazy evening. The moons bid it. Don't be shy."

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I

[ 1900 ] The festival begins promptly with a kick-off speech and a toast from Julius Vincere, encouraging everyone to celebrate beneath the two moons as they light the sky. The weather is crisp and beautiful, leaving them both in full view as their light cascades upon the festival. Around the district, there are several stands full of standard fair food (candy apples/corn dogs/ice cream/deep fried everything), games, and an assortment of many awkward prizes (if you're wondering what these are, do remember you're in the Pleasure District!). Also, there is alcohol everywhere, served to minors and adults alike.

PHASE II

[ 1945 ] The music is playing loudly beneath the noises of the festival. Anyone approaching the speakers will notice a strange buzzing noise that keeps wavering. Then, the sound changes abruptly to the sound of pained moaning hidden within the song. It grows more pronounced by the second until the lights in the Pleasure District flicker off for a brief second. When they return, there is someone crawling out of the speaker. Your eyes squint, and you can see them briefly, the faint outlines of their form as their screaming escalates, only everyone else seems to be deaf to it. Only you can hear it, and you wonder how and why no one else is reacting. Is it just you? Are you hallucinating? Better get used to that feeling in Cerealia.

PHASE III

[ 2000 ] Your friendly speaker friend up there doesn't seem to want to go away. (S)he keeps crawling out and disappearing throughout the evening, but it's easier to ignore as Julius takes to the stage. He has a special announcement for all. CERESdate (who sponsored this wonderful festival by the way) has agreed to set up all you vibrant, sexy Cerealia singles with some robot partners for the night. Want to escape? Too late. They're latching on and dragging you out to the dance floor to boogie down. Afterwards, they'll try and drag you to the nearby hotels for some extra loving. You are welcome to run at this point or comply happily.

PHASE IV

[ 2103 ] Have you escaped the overzealous sex robots? Good, good! Now, it's time for the real fun. The holograms turn from PG images of the stars and surrounding moons and planets to a few fun images of various robot couples caught in absolute bliss. You may spot a clown mask in there or two, reminiscent of those who were running around causing a bit of trouble earlier. The images continue to get distorted as the clowns look like they're stretching their necks out of the image and reaching out towards you. The moaning from before returns.

Doesn't it get you in the mood? If it does and you'd like to find a partner for the night, a few CERESdate robots will be on hand to help fix you up with a partner, organic or otherwise. They're being quite insistent again because they want your credits.

BONUS

[ whyo'clock ] Have you ever been stalked by a condom-dispensing machine? Well, there's a first time for everything! These friendly contraptions are set up all over the Pleasure District, waiting for you to pass by before trailing after you very slowly. At first you don't notice. Every time you turn around, it stands stationery. But the moment you start to move, it just carefully rolls behind you. Watching. Waiting.

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's fourth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

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[Andy ignored Hyoubu's (wholly inaccurate) words, ensuring that the esper and his severed head were between him and the grabby horde. Even if this didn't work out, maybe he could use Hyoubu getting mobbed as a long enough distraction to escape for real. He'd be fine. Probably. Maybe.

But thankfully, Andy didn't have to grapple with the moral dilemma of pushing someone into the role of meatshield, as after a few pointed words from Hyoubu, the robots slunk away to capture some other poor soul. He let out a shaky sigh of relief, straightening from his protective huddle from behind Hyoubu. He still looked rattled, but at least that wild, hunted look was now gone from his expression]

Thank God. They're gone. I've never felt so violated in my life.

[Hands... hands everywhere... grabbing...pinching... Well! Time to lock those memories into some forgotten corner of his brain and never think of them again!! Ever.]

Pokoya. I see... [Oona tilts her head. A spirit? Okay, that's a bit more familiar to her, though she doubts she's ever encountered something like this.]

Shrine? You are, eh... Priest? That is the word, yes? [That's all she can assume anyhow as Oona leans in slightly to examine Poko herself. She likes animals-- they're not humans.] Cute.

[Aw, Yata, you ruined his fun! He was going to put two vibrators on your back without you even being none the wiser. :(] We don't have to be strangers, you know--

[The gift is... weird, yes, and it being offered has him turning off the vibrators. He hasn't seen anything quite like it, but he's just so use to seeing weird human shit that it's surprising, but not surprising. He grins either way.] Well, you wouldn't be wrong.

But what if I don't take weird prizes from strangers? You giving that to me could be an act of courting in this place. You could be professing your undying love to me during this single gift-giving moment.

Are you saying I seem like a liar?

[But he keeps smiling, so it's obvious he doesn't take actual offense to it. Coming across as fake enough to actually seem more honest was lucky this time, and he appreciates the little bit of faith it must take to give him the benefit of the doubt. He doesn't need to know Reim would use him supergiant height against him, anyway.]

Cynbel Lightfoot. A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Lunettes.

[He reaches up and takes Reim's hand and gives it a firm, if quick, shake.]

_{[ Zura gives Yata a look.
He then bows. ]}

Thank you, Machi-kun. I assure you I will be putting these to good use.
_{[ then, Katsura turns, and once they are out of... earshot.. from the condom machine.

What an overly polite (and stupid) young man he is.
He speaks just over a whisper to Yata now that the machine stopped following them. ]}

It isn't proper to ask a question like that in front of the giver.

Heh heh heh. That sounds like a challenge.

[ A beat. ]

Just kidding. It's not too hard to avoid them, honestly. They seem to have something resembling a rudimentary sense of self-preservation, so if you offer a suitable threat, they'll keep their distance. Either that, or they just don't like puns. Want this?

[ He holds the severed android head aloft, dangling it by the hair. Detached like this, it's firmly at the bottom of the uncanny valley, existing somewhere in that skin-crawling no man's land between reality and twisted imagination. Someone (i.e., him) has manipulated its features into a contorted expression of abject horror, its mouth open in a silent scream. ]

No.

[It's said quite frankly.]

When I and the people alongside me arrived, we were branded as criminals and chased by murderous robots.

[So there's that.]

Been there.

[There was an almost ironic smile to her lips; with her low, dull tone, it was impossible to tell if the girl was actually serious, or being sarcastic for humor's sake. Branded as criminals and chased by murderous robots did sound farfetched to most, right?]

What changed?

Ah, so it's a trend. [It's said almost wryly--but it is his idea of a joke. So dry.]

The man who claims to be in charge woke up. [Apparently.] He stated it to be a mistake. [Hell of a mistake to make, though.]

Perhaps the "mistake" has been fixed.

That was one hell of a nap, if he missed out on a lot of false persecution.

[Andy stared at the terrified expression on the severed head, his skin crawling slightly at how it gently swung from side to side in Hyoubu's tight grip on its hair. Slowly, he shook his head, lifting his hands up as if to physically push the thing away without really touching it. Even if it kept the pleasure droids away, Andy would feel more disturbed if he carried around a head like some sort of psychopath]

I'll pass, thanks. I'm not really a fan of, uh, severed heads.

[ It's okay, Loki. Opportunities come and go, but Yata will always be an idiot. He turns red and angry at the implication, shaking his fist. ]

No! Why the hell would I be doing that!? Don't say weird shit! I'm just giving this to you 'cause no one else wants it.

[ And so his true intentions come to light. The toy is still up for grabs. ]

Suit yourself.

[ He's tired of holding it, so he lets go and stuffs both of his hands in his pockets; meanwhile the head floats in the air, its long hair swirling as if it were underwater. ]

Squeamish, Himomiya?

[ He'd file that away under "Ways to troll Andy Hinomiya," except that mental file cabinet is already fully stuffed. ]

I had no idea you were afraid of creepy things — speaking of which, there's Petunia. Helloooo Petunia!

[ He nods. Petunia has just crawled out from under a nearby fried dough stand. ]

Edited 2014-11-13 07:06 (UTC)

I'm not afraid-

[But alas, his protest was soundly ignored in favour of greeting 'Petunia'. Andy, against his better judgement, looked, blinked, looked away, and then back again, where Petunia was scuttling about on the floor like some humanoid cockroach. Tonight was just a night of utterly bizarre things]

What is... what the hell is that? [his voice came out flat, even if every inch of his being was cringing at 'Petunia's' almost grotesque way of crawling]

Hypno.

[ His voice, thus far, has been one of amused detachment, which is how he's decided to approach life, such as it is, in imaginary space. But that word comes out flat. Because the other possibility — that this isn't imaginary space — has definitely occurred to him. It's a possibility that involves his own head detached from his shoulders, and his brain out of his skull, floating somewhere.... ]

Probably. Listen.

[ All background noise softens just then. The roar of the party goes silent, the lights flicker and go dim, and all that can be heard is Petunia's unearthly, heart-rending wail. ]

[That wail was definitely something that was creeping him out right down to the core. Andy's fingers twitched, as if fighting the urge to plant his hands over his ears to drown it out, but managed to curb it. If it was hypno, he doubted that covering his ears would even do anything.

He really didn't like this place. It toed the line between reality and bizarre hypno dream, leaving Andy unsure of whether or not everything was real. With the loss of his powers, it was possible for him to be trapped in something like this now, and he thoroughly hated the doubt and paranoia in his own senses and mind. How did other people deal with this?]

This is just... creepy. [More than creepy - but Andy couldn't think of another word to describe the unsettled feeling crawling all over his insides] That thing, this place... ugh. [he ground the heel of his palm against his forehead, looking slightly wrung out] Is it really hypno? I can't... tell.

I guess I am, sort of. [ It's complicated.

But he smiles when Poko is complimented. And Poko seems pleased. ] She is.

[ Everyone has ancestors, but everyone doesn't have to be one. It's weird thinking of Hirari as an ancestor to anyone.

"Some years"... What an exaggeration. ] I'm not familiar with the era name. But it would be weird if I was.

[ Well. ]

It is--was still Kamakura to me.

[And why would no one else want it, dear Yata? Why indeed.]

Then I guess I'll have to graciously accept your proposal for fear of causing you immense shame being rejected in this place. [He smiles playfully, reaching out for the toy. He holds it, but doesn't pull it out of Yata's hands just yet.]

I want a nice house with a white, picket fence; a cat; and maybe a few kids in the future. [And then he takes the toy with the same sort of amused smile.]

[ Now he's confused because he can only be angry at so many things at once. He's not afraid of being rejected because of some stupid doll. More importantly... ]

Wh—I said I wasn't courting you! Hey! While I'm at it, want me to make you a knuckle sandwich?

[ Yata's timing is kind of off, it's embarrassing, but he's hoping the fist he's raised against Loki will make up for it. ]

You can't tell.

[ His shoulders slump, almost imperceptibly. He'd been counting on Andy to be able to tell him at least that: is this hypno? He puzzles through the possibilities, rehashing once again the logic path he'd traveled. Gilliam is very good at hypno, but Yuuri is the true wizard class hypnotist, and at the point he disappeared, she was still estranged from Black Phantom. But a lot could have changed since then (who knows how much time has passed) and she might have rejoined her family.

But he should be able to resist even wizard-class hypno, and the first time he saw "Petunia," he wondered if the vision was something breaking through the hypno: the agonized scream of some captured, tortured esper working its way into his consciousness via telepathy. But if Andy can see it too, that explanation seems less likely.

He gazes up at Andy, observing his disquiet and his actions. ]

Does your head hurt?

[ Andy's powers have that effect on espers, so perhaps something else is affecting Andy's powers. Anti-anti esp? ]

Huh? Oh, hmm... a little.

[But Andy chalked that mostly up to stress and the general noise of the party. Petunia's wailing wasn't really helping matters either - it was like nails on a chalkboard to his ears, and it was starting to make the beginning dull throbs of a headache blossom between his temples. It was extremely... annoying.

He lowered his hand from where it had ineffectively tried massaging the pain away, and he took another good look at his surroundings, mismatched eyes narrowed. Maybe if he focused enough, perhaps he would be able to tell if this was real or not? Illusions, no matter how well put together, could never stand up to close scrutiny, no matter how attenuated his powers were, so he shrugged off the stress clouding his mind to scrutinise the hell out of this possible hypno dream.

The lines remained firm, the details sharp, and the noises - sans Petunia's wails fading in and out - sounded as they should. From what he saw, the mundane and the weird, everything seemed real, to his mind and senses. Not a single hint of doubt or flaw leapt out at him, yet it only filled him with more uncertainty. If he pinpointed this as an illusion, he would have felt a lot more at ease with the entire thing, but like this... he really couldn't believe that this honestly was reality]

I really can't tell. [a quiet, worried mutter as he drooped, shoulders slumping just like Hyoubu's] Damn it. If it's not hypno, what else could it be?

[ The lights come back on, and the buzz of noise and conversation all around them returns as Petunia slinks away. ]

That is a very good question, and no one I've spoken to seems to know the answer.

[ He's silent for a time, frowning. And then his features smooth out and he smiles. ]

Part of the show, maybe? This Julius Vincere fellow seems to have quite the flair for the theatrical. Want some cotton candy?

[ He has started to turn away into the crowd, hands stuffed in his pockets, back towards the food stands, his severed robot head bobbing along behind him. ]

[Andy made a noise of discontent at that, but agreed that, for now, the mystery would have to be shelved. There was nothing to do but wander about in this possible hypno dream until a clue leapt up at them, or they believed it to be real, despite how crazy this place was. With a sigh, he decided that cotton candy was just what he needed, and trudged after Hyoubu and his floating head]

Yeah, that sounds good. [Sugary stuff solved many woes, in his opinion, or, just, food in general. Although...] You know, that head thing is starting to get just plain weird. [Effective pleasure droid deterrent as it was, it was just starting to creep him out now - well, more than when he first saw it. It was probably because, as it bobbed along behind Hyoubu, its wide, terrified eyes were staring right at him. It was... very off putting, truthfully] Can you turn it around so it's not staring at me?

Guess no one warned you they only have hard stuff here. Nothing if you wanna be casual about it.

[He doesn't drink himself, but he wouldn't ever take anything from here. Not that he blames Melanie - these CEOs who run this joint are anything but informative.]

Listen, this might sound weird, but can you remember the last thing you were doing before you came here?

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//TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE

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