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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2016-06-30 05:58 pm
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//TESTDRIVE15.EXE

//testdrive15.EXE



The clock strikes twelve. The gong of the grandfather clock in the foyer tolls out the time in slightly unnecessarily obnoxious loud noises. The ambiance of this old mansion demands respect, care, awe --

Okay, no, wait, why are you even in this stupid dusty house?

No reasons are forthcoming, because everyone knows that people just end up in places like this sometimes. That's just how the narrative device works. The hows and the whys don't matter -- all that matters is that you're all here, so you'd better get cracking and start exploring, because it's not like you can leave yet.

Or ever, maybe.


Good day, sirs and madams. Might I interest you in a nice glass of blood...y mary?

//SCENARIOS.EXE


PHASE I

[ 02:15 ] All you see is white. The crash of thunder hits your ears next, punctuated by the piercing pitch of white noise in the background. After a few blinks, your vision comes back to you. Oh good, glad that you’ve joined us in the land of the living. Unlike the nondescript corpse at your feet – it looks like… a butler? Oh dear. You’ve already killed Murder Suspect Number One in most situations. How terribly ironic.

After all, who could’ve killed him but you? You might not remember, but there is definitely a murder weapon in your hand. It’s probably a knife or a poisoned glass of wine or-

Wait, is that a toaster? A full on toaster? Or maybe it’s a taser. Maybe you bludgeoned this poor guy with an entire encyclopedia. Either way, it looks like your murder weapon is a little unconventional, whether it’s a stranger’s pair of underwear or a hair curler. Are you really supposed to believe you committed a murder with these? (Yes.)

That said in the next second the double doors will be opening up. It’s pretty clear you’re not alone. Think quick!

PHASE II

[ 06:00 ] Exploring more around the compound, you’ll find plenty of those tall, oil portraits of people hung around the walls. When you start walking, they’re all strangers. However by the time that you feel like you’re wandering around for an hour, two hours, they might start looking a little bit more… familiar? Mom? Is that you?

You don’t have time to think about that, though. You were clearly framed! You don't’ have a motive for killing some random NPC –

“Or do you?” a portrait will ask.

Oh. Holy shit. Well it’d just be rude to leave, right? Whether you stick around for conversation or not, you’ll find that was just the beginning. The portraits are going to start grilling you. Welcome to CERES Central’s Roast of You. What was your motive? Don’t you know you should respect the servants? How would you feel if you were caught like that? Careful turning your back on them though, because if you ignore them for too long, the subjects in the portraits may just reach out and snatch you to join them in their portrait world.

At that point, the only way to get out is to swap places with some other poor, unsuspecting soul wandering around.

PHASE III

[ 10:45 ] You know what makes me hungry? Murder.

What’s the point of making a mansion this big anyway? Who’s even here? Either way, whether you’re looking for the kitchen to make a fine post-homicide sandwich or just trying to escape, you’ll eventually make it to a stairwell. The most finicky stairwell ever. Is that a trail of bloody footprints leading up the steps? What? No. Stop it, just climb.

Or well – don’t climb too quickly now. The staircases apparently have a mind of their own, swapping from one doorway to another. You definitely haven’t seen this before. It would seem that these stairs might even be interested in keeping you in a circle forever, no concern for whether or not you’re hungry or, god forbid, need to use the restroom.

However the portraits in the stairwell will provide a little tip: “The stairs are gossips, you know. Why don’t you tell us a little something about yourself? Make it good!”

Weirdly enough, sound advice – that is, if you’re interested in shouting out your most embarrassing secrets into the void so a mansion can keep talking shit about you. Oh well. Your alternative is just being a stair golem. There are worse fates.

PHASE IV

[ 14:30 ] This hall is oddly quiet.

Well, until you hear it – the soft sniffles coming from down the hall, the broken sobs. It sounds like someone’s crying. For one reason or another, your footsteps take you forward – there’s really no point in going back now after all, right? Yet as you continue to walk… walk… walk… the crying becomes louder and louder. More desperate, more despaired. In time, it’s clear that this person is wailing, screaming, “How could this happen?!”

Within the span of a breath, all the lights in the hallway go out, leaving you in pitch black.

It occurs to you then that you hear a second set of steps. When did you stop walking? A cold chill runs down your spine and you find yourself running then, despite the fact that it feels like this pitch black hallway goes on forever. The other footsteps pick up, remind you that you’re not alone. No, certainly not.

Best hope that you find some assistance soon – otherwise it looks like the Butler Association is going to ignite some righteous vigilante justice on your ass.

BONUS

[ why o'clock ] You’re in the grand ballroom now, ready to present your case. Armed with a cob pipe (don’t smoke inside, it’s rude), a detective hat, and a single spotlight aimed right at you, you now have to explain how you came to the conclusion about the True Killer that is Obviously Not You. Rather, it’ll just be the character of whoever tags into this prompt – yes, you are suddenly so very sure that they’re the ones who are the ultimate mastermind of this entire game and… you’re just going to have to bullshit the reason why even if you know virtually nothing about them. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, you know?

Sorry about that.

Should you actually provide enough of a compelling case or they take pity on you, having a villainous breakdown for the sake of the plot, you’ll be awarded with a coupon that’ll give you three free scoops at your local ice cream parlor! (Note: you must buy the first two scoops in order to qualify.) Of course, if you’re not able to nail them down as the killer, you are obviously the killer yourself (citation needed).

From there, you’ll be dragged off to face your punishment: for six grueling hours you will be tickled mercilessly.


[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to Cerealia's fifteenth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

gaian: (annoying)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-01 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks. It's... definitely been a weird night, and I'm sorry for making yours even worse.

[If nothing else, it's reassuring to meet someone like this guy.]

An idea? What is it?
raava: (pic#9202356)

[personal profile] raava 2016-07-01 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, you kinda do! [What is with people she's trying to help being so ungrateful?

The metal arms explain how a painting can successfully play a game of tug-of-war with two other people via a mop, but it's not enough to distract Korra (well, okay, it is kind of cool). She digs her feet into the floor and is about to give another hard tug when the man suddenly loses his grip on the map and before she knows it she's hitting the opposite wall with a loud grunt. The impact sends a few frames rattling, but Korra ignores their jeers, rubbing the back of her head.]


... Why didn't you just let go of the mop in the first place?

[She can't exactly judge. She carried around the gaudy statue for several rooms before realizing she didn't need it.]
gaian: (wet blanket)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-01 04:29 am (UTC)(link)
[... THAT'S KIND OF A WORRYING REACTION TO A DEAD PERSON.

Not that he has much time to reflect on that, because sudden accusation??]


Huh? Wait, no—I swear, I wasn't the one who did it!

[He waves his hands around for a second, which probably doesn't help matters when he's holding a sharp and pointy object aka his halberd in one of them.]

I don't even know who he is!

[ALSO YOU'RE PRETTY SUSPICIOUS NOW, OKUNI.....]
pruning: (Did the ostrich make it out alive??)

count d | petshop of horrors

[personal profile] pruning 2016-07-01 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
PHASE I
[—Ah. There are few places more uncomfortable to find oneself besides standing over a dead body, and yet here he is. As D looks down at the dead man- a butler?- he can only think the man must have deserved it. Whatever he'd done...

He looks up when the door opens, and abruptly he looks startled and definitely not like he wants to be here much longer.]


Goodness— hello. [NOT the best start...] This man is...

[Dead?? What is he holding— it's a... it's a snail? Why is he holding a snail????] As you can see, my companion and I have just arrived and found such a terrible thing...

[????]
PHASE III
[The stairs want gossip, and frankly, there is no way they're getting gossip out of him. He's already taken a seat only a few steps below the top of this particular staircase, where he's just sitting there watching other people try to climb and not helping at all...]

The falcon does not struggle when he is caught. [is that a fucking proverb? yes] How many times do you intend to run up these steps?
gaian: (pain in the neck (and side))

ilu2

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-01 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
[Karl is starting to get the impression that there's no reasoning with this guy...]

... The water was from me. [jsyk.] And I don't mean that it was from my tears or anything, since we just established that that wasn't me.

[He's... He's actually not sure how to explain things to this person??]

... Listen, can we just agree that neither of us was crying? I think there are more important things right now that we need to focus on.
dtective: (19)

[personal profile] dtective 2016-07-01 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
[Ah... hang on a sec. The more this goes on, the more his gut goes against this. He's being so polite, when he clearly has the strength to resist. He's saying he'll do anything? It could be a trick, because he has a gun pointed at him, but it could also be the truth. Instinct is telling him to give this guy a chance.

Man, he really thought he had this one figured out in record time.]


You're saying you don't remember what happened?
dtective: (yes)

[personal profile] dtective 2016-07-01 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
Your weapon there is unusual! Just like this guy's wounds. Look at him. Either he was chopped to bits by some kind of axe, or a bear or something got him...

[His eyes flick down to the side temporarily, and he trails off at that. A bear...? Wait, could it be there's actually an animal around here? That could mean so many more things.

He lowers his gun just slightly, still not quite stopping from pointing at him.]


I'll hear you out. What were you doing, just now?
pinsky: (by turning that switch)

threeeee!

[personal profile] pinsky 2016-07-01 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
[Sulla's about to tell the paintings to knock it off, she's just a kid, don't drag her into your game, but the girl in front of her doesn't seem too bothered. That's probably for the best; she'll have enough trouble in Cerealia, and growing up in general, without anxiety around it. At least, Sulla knows she did. (The 'Pino has a soul' remark cuts to the bone, not that she'll show it. If only she were so confident.)]

[--She knows the little girl's synthetic without having to give a second look, of course, and even before she says anything. Synthetics know each other's tells; they know what to look for, what to listen for to find each other. It's enough that Sulla doesn't feel like she has to hide herself around this little girl.]

[As for Sulla? Well, the fact that she's hovering with jets from her feet might give her away.]


Auto-reiv? [She tilts her head, smiling more for Pino's benefit than her own. Sulla may have no idea how to deal with children, but she remembers what she was like as a child, and that might be good enough.] Is that what they call people like us where you're from?
mombastic: (Oy vay)

[personal profile] mombastic 2016-07-01 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
[ Good enough for Otome to reply to. With a faint cough and a sigh as she works at pushing herself to her feet. ]

I can't say you hit air, unfortunately...
onethousen: (whoops)

[personal profile] onethousen 2016-07-01 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
[ Chihiro doesn't stop to wonder if he's being fully honest or not; she doesn't feel it matters much anyway. So instead she hums her agreeance, nodding her head for the extra emphasis before she speaks. ]

I didn't either. Or I stopped, I guess, when I was busy with other things.

[ She wonders if that will change again once she's back in school, but she has a feeling it's not entirely out of the question. Then again, as the new girl in school, she'll be the subject of gossip and speculation regardless. Kind of like at the bath house, and about as worth paying attention to when she did still have more important goals.

... Undecided ones, as it were, but the idea of a new school felt less immediate than the idea of the whole new problem she'd joined so many others in just recently. Kind of nice to not be the only fish in this particular net of the unexpected.
]

Nice to meet you too, Felneus.

[ All said quickly before she hunkers down and waits for what she presumes will be a wild ride. Prior experience all points toward this expectation being met, plus with Karl half-way saying she might get thrown off, she was making extra sure to cling tight.

Then again, the door doesn't seem so enamoured of staying in place, considering how once they get closer, it seems to have veered sharply to their left. Then stayed there. Cheery. Still technically out of reach.
]

The doors are moving now too?!

[ KARL MAYBE IF THEY GO FASTER THEY'LL REACH IT! Chihiro looks determined, but she knows she's not the one in charge here, so... Karl and Felneus to the initiative? ]
manchildren: (pic#10369266)

[personal profile] manchildren 2016-07-01 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
[ the water was from the guy, but it's not his tears???? kei is officially intrigued now, and that intrigue pretty much radiates off of him in the darkness. still, though, he has to agree-- if neither of them were crying (and kei's just simple-minded enough to take the other guy's words at face value) then there's a third person here. and like in ranking matches and whatever, an unseen individual was an individual to be wary of. they probably shouldn't hang around, then. besides, the water can hamper his movement. ]

Like getting out of this hallway, right? Yeah, I can agree to that. [ he says this like everything else he's been saying makes perfect sense too, a sagely nod to go with the sheathing of one of his swords. a curious beat. kei reaches up to scratch the back of his head. ] But could you not do the water thing again? If there's a third, crying person out there, I'd like to be able to move unhampered, if it's all the same to you.
gaian: (wet blanket)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-01 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh no.

Karl steps forward, although he's reluctant to actually run towards her, seeing as how he can't exactly see anything and so runs the risk of crashing into her.]


... Y-You're not an enemy, right? [Ack.] I'm so sorry...!
gaian: (girly-faced pretty boy)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-01 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah. I'm glad you agree.

[Sincere! ... But maybe with just a bit of dryness, because he wasn't entirely sure of how this would go down.

At the next part, though, he lets out a light laugh, as if he's already forgotten about how close this guy came to giving him a headache.]


Haha, I'll try. [That's like 90% of his skillset, though.] I wasn't really expecting to run into anyone else in this hall.
mombastic: (Can I release this breath now?)

[personal profile] mombastic 2016-07-01 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ Enemies don't really apologize... which is promising, so Otome holds up her cellphone, flipping it open to cast a pale square of light in the area. ]

It wouldn't be the first time someone's thrown ice at me, if that helps?
manchildren: (pic#10369268)

[personal profile] manchildren 2016-07-01 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
[ yeah, that dryness is lost on kei, who is oblivious to even kazama 'canada dry' souya on a good day, and therefore has no natural means of picking up on this kind of subtle dryness. ]

And I didn't expect someone to swing a halberd at me, but I'll take it. [ especially since there was a lot of force behind that halberd!! and the water thing is interesting!!! you seem strong!! there's a feeling of contemplation as kei studies the darkness. ] So... now what. Keep walking? Think we have to take down the crying person?

[ he seems way too interested in the halberd part and the taking down someone part. ]
decoyhero: (here comes. uh. violence.)

Jack the Doppelganger // Borderlands

[personal profile] decoyhero 2016-07-01 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
     Phase I
[Jack was, sadly, no stranger to seeing dead bodies. More often than not these days, he had been the cause of their death, so the sight wasn't unusual at all.

The rubber chicken was a bit strange, though.

He frowned as he studied the thing in his hand, glancing occasionally back and forth from it to the body at his feet. As a bludgeoning weapon, the floppy toy left a lot to be desired. Jack had known more than one person crazy enough - and determined enough - who might have made the best of the situation and managed. Until just now, he wouldn't have considered counting himself among that number. But there was no one else in sight, and the rubber chicken was looking more than a little ragged, so…

Shrugging, Jack dropped the chicken. It bounced and wobbled gently when it hit the floor, before falling as still as the corpse next to it. This was just one more thing to carefully not think about to add to the huge, overwhelming number of things that he had done that he also carefully did not think about. Not a big deal at all; he did it every day.

Helpfully, just as he was wondering what to do next, he caught the sound of someone's approach. Not particularly looking forward to an encounter, but also not having anything in particular to lose by it, he turned to greet the new arrival. Slipping into his employer's charismatic, smart-ass persona was easier than ever these days, he'd been doing it for so long. The voice modulation implant helped.]


He-eeey, how's it going? Don't mind the dead guy, he was like this when I got here.
dtective: (30)

iii he thinks he's cool lord help me

[personal profile] dtective 2016-07-01 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know what kinda birds you've been catching, Count, but everything struggles when it's caught.

[People included, hello. His hand grips the bar of the stairway as he glares back down at D.] Do you expect me to just sit here and wait? I'm going to find us a way out of here!
pruning: (my AIM conversations from 10 yrs ago)

i'm embarrassed

[personal profile] pruning 2016-07-01 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
[Uh, not falcons, was Leon even listening to the useless proverb?? He's going to sit here and wait, so obviously struggling is futile.]

I suppose there is always jumping over the side.
whatisnerd: (9)

Peridot | Steven Universe

[personal profile] whatisnerd 2016-07-01 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
PHASE I

I—what?

[ Peridot has a pretty narrow experience of humanity. How is she supposed to know what blood is, or even what a corpse is? If she has a bloody fork in her hand, and the butler is covered in blood... Whatever ominous chill might run through someone who has veins at all is completely absent here. He's obviously fine. He's just lying down! ]

Wow... What a clod. Can you believe this? [ She turns to face whoever is just coming in through the doors, using the bloody fork in her gesturing, unconcerned with how this situation might look. ] Who gets that much pasta sauce all over themselves? Even I know better than that!

[ Do you know better, Peridot? Do you really?? ]

PHASE IV

[ When she hears the crying, Peridot hesitates for a moment, but curiosity compels her to follow the source of the sound. She doesn't want to admit it, but she feels pretty lost right now herself, without anyone else she knows by her side. If she could find a kindred spirit, and maybe even help them out—yeah, that'd be cool! They'd be falling over themselves to be her friend if she did that!

But rather than giving her a friend to bond with, this hallway is becoming more and more isolating and frightening. By the time she's running, all she can think about is making her way back to any kind of normalcy whatsoever. She's out of options, except for the one strategy that her hypothetical friend was employing—

Wailing loudly for help. ]
...H... How could this happen to meeeee?!

BONUS

[ Peridot doesn't know what a pipe is either, so she's holding it gripped in her fist more like one would hold a hammer. But she can still plead her case! ]

Well... Let's be clear here. I definitely understand the crime, and everything about it. But because I don't want to run my mouth about such an apparently insensitive topic, don't ask me about that!! The point is, it was—that one! That one did it!! I know for unspeakable reasons!

[ She swings her pipe-hammer to point in the direction of your character, desperately. That's all she's got to say for herself? Apparently. ]
manolia: (3)

[personal profile] manolia 2016-07-01 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
[The painted Sarif hauls the mop in with a loud shloop as soon as Chibi lets his grip slacken; he takes a few steps back so as not to slip on the hardwood floor. With a twirl of the mop, the painting starts saying something else, but Chibi doesn't bother to listen.]

['People who'd kill for me if I asked 'em to' - that is awfully morbid. The guy would fit right in with the rest of CERES, Chibi thinks. The other part of him thinks it is even sadder, for this ponytailed fellow, that it is his boss showing up as the important figure.]


It will shut up if you walk away. That is, assuming these paintings do not follow us. [Chibi turns to walk away, but looks behind him after a step to beckon Pritchard to follow.] It is not the real... Whoever that might be, as I am sure you've gathered.

[Though one can never be sure...!]
Edited 2016-07-01 05:00 (UTC)
gaian: (you and your big mouth)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-01 05:01 am (UTC)(link)
It's not a bad habit to fall out of. Paying attention to those sorts of things, I mean.

[The world would probably be a better place if people cared less about gossip, but that's just his opinion.

... And damn it. Did the doors also have to make their lives harder?]


Felneus!

As you command. [It seems to have gotten the idea, as it picks up speed—too much speed, if anything. It surges forward, only for a staircase above them to move in its way, and so Felneus begins to react in a manner that Karl, after all the fighting he's done in his life, recognizes almost immediately—]

Wait, Felneus, don't—!

[It's a little too late, though: water quickly forms around them, courtesy of the dragon, before whipping through the staircase. It tears through the material, sending a rain of rubble down on them; rubble that's hardly enough to bother it, but more than enough to bother the two humans on its back.

Karl's concern is primarily for Chihiro, however. Reflexes kicking in, he swings his halberd—a fair distance away from Chihiro, careful not to hit her—at the same time a spirit forms behind him. Not a summon this time, but a part of him, as both it and he send shards of ice flying in an attempt to knock away any pieces of rubble from Chihiro.

Unfortunately, it's not nearly as skilled as it could be, between the suddenness of it and seeing as how he's forced to devote at least half of his attention to balancing on the still-moving Felneus, before it stills.]
dtective: (how about: no)

how do you think I feel

[personal profile] dtective 2016-07-01 05:09 am (UTC)(link)
[He pauses and takes a few steps back down the stairway he's stuck on, gripping the railing as he peers over. Gossip... He's not about to give gossip to a weird hallucination staircase.

Things he'd rather take seriously? The suggestion to jump off something this high and crazy. He's looking for a possible landing that he could reach if he jumped, now.]


You might be onto something.
gaian: (dimwit)

[personal profile] gaian 2016-07-01 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
[With his eyes readjusting to the light, he squints, though as he does, he manages a smile.]

Haha, I don't think that's very reassuring to hear on your behalf, actually.

[He steps closer, his grip on his halberd loosening slightly in hopes that he comes off as less of a threat—though he'd be lying to say that he's completely let down his guard.]

Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?
Edited 2016-07-01 05:10 (UTC)